


Scars to Your Beautiful

by SandyRook77



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Low Self-Esteem, Sexual Tension, Supernatural Elements, Tattoos, Verbal Abuse, low self-image, maybe some fluff, there's probably more - Freeform, werewolf attributes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2019-11-16 01:37:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 96,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18084932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandyRook77/pseuds/SandyRook77
Summary: Rook never quite felt like she belonged. A mechanic trainee who had a penchant for brawling that eventually landed her in the Sky Box. After arriving on Earth with the rest of the 100, a life-changing meeting finds her living a life she never thought she would. In Tondc, she finds her place and learns that love isn't out of reach.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is another work that I've been working on. It started shortly after I began writing _When Fire Meets Fate_. I've gotten at least twenty-something chapters already written and I'm hoping that this will give you something to chew on while I work on the others.
> 
> It's an original character story that happens in the 100 canon-verse with some divergence because I will not let Lexa die nor will I deal with the whole A.L.I.E. debacle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited thanks to my newly found beta reader, Gus.

My foot connecting with a tree root forced me out of my thoughts as I stumbled, nearly falling. I clutched my chest at the unexpected adrenaline rush and righted myself. For the first time in a while I looked around the forest I had walked out into early that morning. I made a slow turn, every tree and rock identical making me feel like I was in a room full of mirrors.

“Fuck,” I muttered. “Ain’t this par for the course. Rook, my girl, you’ve gone and gotten yourself lost.”

I sighed and scratched the back of my head, grimacing at the fact that it had been nearly a month since I’d bathed properly. I looked back at the direction I thought I’d come, but the forest was too fucking similar. I wasn’t sure I had even come that way.

“Oh, fuck me,” I sat against the tree who nearly tripped me before.

The sky still had plenty of daylight left to find my way back to the dropship. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the direction I had headed out this morning, if I had circled around the camp, but was coming up blank. I hit the back of my head on the tree in consternation and glared outward. My hands twitched with the sudden need to do something, but there was nothing for me to mess with. To fix. To hit. I sighed and thunked my head against the tree again. I could find my way through the most complex schematic on the Ark but ask me for directions and I’d always come up empty. Especially, when my mind was occupied by some design or image of a certain blonde or brunette. I growled and pushed myself off the ground, looking up at the sky once more and wondered if the brunette was still alive up there. If she was struggling to breathe. Worried since we still had no way of letting them know the Earth was survivable or that there were people here trying to kill us. 

My mind then traveled to the blonde. She had come down with the rest of us. She had curves that I wanted to trace with my fingertips, taste with my lips. I took a deep breath pushing those thoughts away. She’d never notice me or think of me in that way. I was nobody. Just some mechanic with a penchant for brawling. That’s what got me thrown into Lockup. I fought some asshole when he called me names I never wanted repeated, even to myself. I nearly killed him without realizing before I was dragged away by several guards. Wasn’t even a howdy-do before they tossed me in a cell and left me. I can’t even remember how many times I got sent into solitary for beating up a fellow inmate. They honestly considered just leaving me in solitary until my eighteenth. They probably wish they had.

I shoved those memories back into the recesses of my mind, and tried to focus on how to get myself back to the dropship before dark. So, I picked a direction and started walking, knowing I wouldn’t recognize anything since I hadn’t even been paying the slightest attention. I don’t know how long I walked, but suddenly a prickling sensation ran down my back. I stopped in my tracks, my body tensed. I was being watched. 

I slowly reached behind me and withdrew my axe. I had a knife in my boot, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to risk bending down to retrieve it. I shifted the axe until it was gripped firmly in my hand. The sensation was coming from my left. I was sure of it. I couldn’t make out anything but that didn’t mean there wasn’t anything there. I just couldn’t see it yet. 

I took a deep breath and cautiously walked forward, my eyes glancing wildly around me in anticipation. I could feel sweat starting to slide down my spine and face. One drip descended over my eye and I reached up to wipe it away. The next thing I knew there was a growl and the sound of twigs snapping. I turned in time to see a giant wolf launch itself at me. Its giant maw aimed for my throat. I threw up my arm instinctively and its jaw latched onto my arm. Teeth pierced into my skin, deep enough to embed itself in the bones. I screamed and the weight made me fall, pinning me to the ground as it tore at my arm. In a panic, I swung my axe and felt the jarring connection as it met flesh and muscle. The wolf relinquished it’s hold, howling in pain and bounded away from me. It nearly pulled the axe out of my hand, but I held on with a death grip. I scrambled to my feet and held my bloody arm tight against my chest as I backed further away from the injured wolf.

It was as white as pictures of snow that I’d seen. With the bluest eyes, much like the blonde’s that I nearly lost myself in them before it came at me again. I knew I couldn’t outrun it, so I crouched low and waited. It launched itself again but I slipped sideways swinging the axe again, biting it in its side. I backed out of its reach, breathing hard as I felt blood soak my shirt The wolf became my sole focus. Blood streamed down its side and somewhere along its shoulder, but it still had the strength to get up, growling. When it faced me, it let out such a horrifying howl that I wanted to cover my ears to block out the sound. The message was clear. It wanted me dead. I swallowed the bile creeping up my throat and as it neared, I launched myself at it. We met and I felt claws dig into me, its jaw clamp down on my shoulder. I screamed again as I swung my axe repeatedly as we tumbled to the ground. This time, the impact knocked the axe out of my hand, sending it flying. Black tinged around my vision but before I lost consciousness, I felt its jaws relax its death grip.


	2. Chapter 2

Pain. Excruciating, mind numbing, blinding pain. It consumed me as I screamed. I couldn’t even comprehend that I was alive as pain racked my body. I couldn’t even feel the fact that I was being held down. I don’t know how long I endured the pain before it finally caused me to fall back into the darkness.

Pain woke me again making me whimper. It wasn’t as bad, and I could think enough to realize that I wasn’t dead. I felt myself levitate and something cold pressed against my lips. Something tightened around my jaw, forcing my mouth open and I felt something slide against my tongue making me want to gag and spit it out, but I wasn’t allowed to. I was forced to swallow and then I floated back down and the darkness consumed me once again.

I wasn’t sure how many times I woke up to pain and forced to drink something, but each time I could think more and more clearly. Becoming more aware of my surroundings. I could feel a softness beneath me, a warm weight that covered most of my body. I could hear a fire crackling nearby and the occasional footsteps and voices that spoke in a language I didn’t understand. All of this came in bits and pieces until one day, I finally woke up and could open my eyes. I winced at the light and blinked a few times to realize that it was actually dim light. I turned my head towards the direction that I usually heard sounds coming from and saw a large man standing at a table doing something. Looking around the room, I saw a fireplace burning to his left and I felt more than saw a window and a door behind my head. There was a coolness that occasionally touched the top of my head.

I shifted and moaned at the pain causing the man to snap his head around. I recoiled seeing the side of his face covered in ink. A beard covering the lower half of his face and trailing down to his chest. Fear coursed through my veins as he poured something into a cup and walked towards me. I tried to back away from him, but the pain prevented me from moving and he easily lifted me up and pressed the cup against my lips.

I turned my head away, but in one swift move, I was forced to drink whatever it was. It was bitter and my body wanted to rid itself of the taste, but he held his hand over my mouth forcing me to swallow. When he was sure that I had swallowed every last drop of the liquid, he removed his hand and laid me back down again. Without a word, he set the cup on a nearby table and walked out of the room. I was surprised when I didn’t immediately fall asleep again like every other time he had forced me to drink something. Instead, I just felt the pain lessening and my body relaxing slightly. My body still felt heavy and I wasn’t sure that I could move beyond shifting slightly. I could tell my left arm was immobile, but my right arm was free. I tiredly raised it out from underneath whatever was covering me and when I laid my hand against it, I found out it was fur. I continued my hands journey and rubbed my face as I tried to gather some semblance of thought. Some recognition as to what had happened to me, but at the moment it was still blank. All I knew was that I was hurt, badly, and that I was in some room that seemed to be occupied by a very large, very scary man.

After awhile, I heard the door open again and I shifted my head enough that I could see two people enter. The man followed by a black woman. She seemed like she was dressed in some kind of armor enhanced by the hilt of a sword that was gracing her side. I watched them warily as they approached. The man went back over to the table as the woman pulled a chair to the side of the bed and sat down. Staring, no, glaring down at me. I felt myself shrink back beneath her stare and took a trembling breath.

She finally spoke and said, “Who are you, Sky Girl?”

I looked at her confused for a moment, vaguely recalling that the language I had heard before hadn’t been English, but I answered, “Rook. My name is Rook.”

“An odd name,” she replied. “Do you know who I am?”

“No, but we call you Grounders,” I answered.

She nodded as if she expected the answer, “I am Clan Chief Indra of Tondc. You are in the home of our healer, Nyko. Do you know how you came to be here?”

I tried to recall what had happened to me, but I was still coming up blank, so I cleared my throat and said, “No.”

“Do you know how you were hurt?”

“No. I don’t remember,” I answered fearfully.

She was surprised at my answer and looked over at Nyko. His deep baritone voice startled me when he said, “This was possible, Indra. Her mind may have blocked it.”

She nodded curtly and returned her attention to me and said, “You were attacked by a wolf. One that has been plaguing our village recently. The Bounstoka, White Wolf. Many have tried to kill her, but none succeeded…until you.”

I felt my eyes go wide as I tried to comprehend what she was telling me and I stuttered out, “I, I, I k-killed a, a wolf?”

“Yes. A hunting party heard your screams and when they came upon you, they found you underneath the wolf. Nearly dead. They brought you and the wolf here.”

“You saved me? Why,” I asked, nearly afraid of the answer.

“The village deemed you worth saving because you rid us of her,” she replied curtly.

“Oh,” was the only word that came out of my mouth as I tried to wrap my head around the entire situation. “What happens now?”

“You will continue to heal,” she replied. “Once you are completely healed, we will discuss what happens then.”

With that, she stood up and walked back out and left me alone with Nyko. We watched each other and finally he said, “You should rest now. Your body needs time to heal.”

I nodded and closed my eyes, sleep came quickly after my conversation with the woman. It was also the first sleep that I woke up screaming, feeling teeth along my arm as pain erupted from my abrupt movements making it feel all the more real. My eyes snapped open in terror as I felt a hand on my chest keeping me from moving further. It took me a moment to recognize Nyko as tears streamed down my face and I took in huge gulps of air. When I had calmed down enough, he removed his hand and poured me a cup of something that I knew would help me sleep and take away the pain. I no longer fought him and choked it down before I laid back down exhausted. I closed my eyes and counted the seconds until darkness enveloped my mind and kept the nightmares away.

That was only the first night that I woke up screaming. Each night, I remembered more and more of the attack until I finally got the whole picture. I remembered that day. How I had gotten lost and the feeling of being watched. The wolf leaping at me again and again as I fought it with only an axe. I remembered the whole thing and was struck dumb by the fact that I had survived it. I should have been dead and probably would have been if it hadn’t been for the hunting party. Once the memories returned, sleep came more easily and I was only visited by deep blue eyes that changed colors and flashed between the face of the wolf and the blonde woman.

My days were filled with boredom until I begged Nyko to begin teaching me his language. He agreed reluctantly after a brief conversation with Indra. I was surprised by how quickly I picked it up and our conversations became longer and more in-depth as the days passed. I felt no qualms about telling him everything I knew about my people and where we came from, but he was not so forthcoming in return. It didn’t bother me too much, my fate was still undecided, but it made me curiouser and curiouser to find out more. I didn’t push it though.

As I healed, I learned that my shoulder had only experienced complete breaks and that if all was good, I’d still be able to retain the use of it. My arm wasn’t so lucky. Even though my forearm was broken, the muscles, tendons, and nerves had been torn. Everything below my elbow was numb. I could only feel slight pressure and my fingers wanted to curl towards my palm. Nyko showed me how to massage my fingers and gave me something to try and gain movement so that it wasn’t completely useless. It was saddening to know that I felt nothing as I ran my finger down the length of my forearm and across my hand and fingers. Almost as if it was a ghost limb, but opposite. I had it, but I felt nothing, instead of not having it and feeling it.

The rest of me came out with scratches and deep gouges along my sides, stomach and thighs. I was told, that I looked shredded in some places, but I healed and knew I would bear those claw marks for the rest of my life. For however long that would be. When Nyko declared me fit enough to walk, we would walk. First around his home and as I gained more strength, around the village. We garnered stares and I could hear people murmuring in awe as they watched me.

One night, I dared to ask him, “Nyko, why does everyone look at me the way they do? It doesn’t seem like it’s because I come from the sky.”

He looked up from his task of grounding medicinal herbs and looked over at me for a moment before he said, “It is because they are unsure of what to think about you, Rook. You are Sky People. Thought to be clumsy and without sense. Yet, a single girl with nothing but a makeshift axe managed to kill the Bounstoka. Something our best hunters could not do.”

“I got lucky, Nyko,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. “I was scared shitless and afraid I was going to die. If she had aimed for my throat instead of my shoulder, I would’ve. I’m nobody special. Never have been.”

“That may have been the way when you were among your people, but mine see you as something else.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything more, so he returned to grinding his medicine. I laid down and pulled the blanket closer to my chin, closing my eyes and thought about what it all meant.

The next day, he removed the contraption that had kept my shoulder immobile and we began working on gaining my mobility back. It was painful, but I endured it. I’d often bite my tongue to keep the slew of curses that threatened to spill past my lips as he worked me mercilessly. During this time, she would come and visit us to check on my progress. I could have sworn that one time, she had a small smile playing on her lips as she left the home. Somehow, that small smile worried me more than anything else ever had.

A few weeks later, Nyko deemed me fit and I was suddenly trepidatious. He left to inform Indra and I found myself pacing, my fingers fidgeting with the need to do something. My mind flitted from thought to thought, refusing to focus on anything. I jumped when I heard the door open and watched as they both entered. Nyko raised an eyebrow in my direction and Indra smirked at my reaction.

“Sit,” Indra commanded, pointing at the bed.

I immediately complied and looked down at my feet as I waited, my fingers picking at the pants I had been given. The chair scraped against the floor, making me flinch slightly, and I could see her boot clad feet in my field of vision.

“Look at me, Rook,” she said and again her voice demanding that I obey.

I looked up and had a difficult time looking at her in the eyes, so my sight settled slightly to her right only occasionally shifting to her face.

“Nyko tells me that you are fit,” she said.

I nodded and answered, “Yes.”

“You have full range of motion in your shoulder, but no feeling below your elbow.”

“Yes. I only feel pressure when I hold something in my hand. No pain nor can I judge how tightly I’m holding something.”

She nodded, “I have decided what is to become of you.”

My eyes glanced at hers and I was able to hold them there for a second before I looked to the side again, “I understand.”

“You shall remain in the village and become part of my clan, Rook.”

I looked at her in surprise, “I beg your pardon?”

“This is now your home. Tomorrow you will become a member of my clan and move into a home of your own. The day after that, you will begin to train. Even though you cannot feel the lower half of your arm, you are still able to wield a weapon. Every clan member can defend themselves and I expect you to do the same.”

“Yes, Indra,” I said, my mind reeling at the turn of events. “Thank you.”

“See that you do not disappoint me, Rook.”

“I wish I could promise that I won’t, but I’ll try my best and work to push beyond that,” I answered, finally able to look her in the eyes.

“Good, at least you’re honest,” she said and stood up to leave.

I stood up as well and waited until she was gone before I collapsed back onto the bed. My head in my hands as I tried to control the trembling that had suddenly overtaken me.

“You’re surprised,” Nyko said.

I looked up at him and replied, “I am. I don’t understand why. What do you see in me that warrants this kind of acceptance?”

“Rook, you’ve proven yourself when you killed the White Wolf. You’ve taken the time to learn our language. You haven’t wallowed in self pity over the loss of feeling in your arm and hand. You’ve proven yourself to be strong where others have shown weakness,” he explained gently, getting up and sitting across from me. 

“I don’t feel strong, Nyko. I still feel as lost as I did that day in the forest,” I said quietly.

He took my chin in his hand and raised it until I looked him in the eyes and said, “You need to start believing in yourself, Rook. It may have been luck that allowed you to kill the wolf, but you still did it. That shows strength and courage. You never stopped fighting the wolf and you didn’t run away.”

I snorted, “I knew that I’d never be able to outrun it.”

“True, but you did not let it just kill you. You fought and you won. You bear the scars that show your strength and your will to live. Have faith in yourself, Rook. There is more to you than you can even begin to see. And you will see.”

I swallowed thickly the emotion that threatened to boil over and replied thickly, “I’ll try, Nyko.”

“Don’t try. Do,” he said and relinquished my chin. “You should rest now. Tomorrow will be soon here enough and you will find yourself quite busy.”

I nodded, “Alright. Night, Nyko.”

“Goodnight, Rook.”

I got up and climbed under the covers and forced myself to relax. Starting from my head, I relaxed my muscles until my body felt heavy and sleep came swiftly after the soles of my feet finally relaxed.

The next day shined brightly as I stepped outside of Nyko’s home. I shivered slightly at the briskness in the air. Inhaling deeply, I slowly exhaled and watched as my breath curled away. I didn’t wander far from Nyko’s home, just to the end of the courtyard and back. I greeted those that I saw warmly and was happy to see that they returned the gesture. When I was nearly back to Nyko’s home a voice called out my name and I turned to see who it was. A young man, a few years younger than me jogged to catch up.

“Artigas, right,” I said, creasing my brow in remembrance.

He nodded, a grin on his face, “Word has already spread that you are being allowed to stay here and become part of our clan.”

I nodded, “That is what I was told.”

“I am also told that you will be given a home of your own,” he said, bouncing with energy.

“Yes,” I said cautiously, trying to figure out what was going on.

“And that you will begin training tomorrow.”

“That’s right,” I said, crossing my arms. “Why does this excite you, Artigas?”

“Well, you killed the Bounstoka and lived.”

“Barely,” I said, proud that I didn’t flinch at the memory.

“And you fell from the sky.”

“Right…Can you get to the point?”

That stopped him for a minute and then he said, “I get to train with you.”

Realization hit me and I shook my head, “Artigas, you’re not going to see anything impressive. I don’t know how to wield a weapon and I don’t know how to fight properly. I’m just a girl from the sky who got lucky.”

He seemed to deflate immediately at my confession, but then seemed to perk up again, “Then it will be an honor to help train you so that next time it will not be just luck that brings down your enemy.”

“Thanks, I think,” I replied. “If you’ll excuse me, Artigas, but I’d like to get some rest.”

He nodded and without another word, turned around and left. I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose before I went inside to find Nyko sitting by the fire.

He looked up at my entrance and asked, “Did you have a good walk?”

I shrugged, “It was only to the end of the courtyard and back, but it was pleasant enough. Artigas told me that I would be training with him tomorrow. He seemed rather excited.”

Nyko shook his head, smiling, “He is young and eager. He has yet to prove himself, but he has the makings of a fine warrior.”

“I’m sure,” I replied, sitting on the bed and scooting back until my back was against the wall.

“How are you feeling,” he asked.

I shrugged, “Fine, I guess. I don’t think my mind has quite caught up to what’s supposed to happen today, but it is picturing the many times I will probably find myself on my back tomorrow.”

He grinned, “You are expecting failure in your training.”

“I am expecting getting my ass handed to me multiple times because I have no clue how to fight or hold a weapon.”

“That is the way it often works. You will be fine.”

I snorted, “Fine is going to become a word that I think I will soon detest, Nyko. I have a feeling that before too long, I’m going to wish that the wolf had killed me.”

He laughed, “Do not worry so much, Rook. We have all been on our backside more than once when we first began training. Trust me, you will be fine.”

I chuckled ruefully, “We’ll see, Nyko. We’ll see.”

The rest of the morning went amicably enough as I helped Nyko around the home. While I’d been staying with him, besides learning the language, he’d also been teaching me about the plants and the medicinal uses they had. It was a lot to take in, but it was also soothing to learn. By the time afternoon rolled around, I had put my impending adoption in the back of my mind. That’s why I was startled and surprised when there was a knock on the door and when Nyko answered, we found Indra along with two women carrying many things between the two of them.

“Ah, it is time,” Nyko said, wiping his hands on a rag. “I will leave you to it, Indra.”

She inclined her head politely at him as I stood there with my heart beginning to pound in nervousness. When the door shut behind him, Indra turned her gaze on me and I reluctantly stepped forward.

“What’s going on,” I asked.

“These two are here to help you prepare for the ceremony that will be happening tonight,” she said, indicating the women who were laying their things on the table.

“What exactly does that mean,” I asked, more curious as they seemed to prepare bowls with some kind of substance that looked a bit like ink.

“First, you will be cleansed. Then they shall mark you as all Trikru are marked.”

“You mean the ink that I see everywhere,” I said, gesturing towards her face.

“That’s correct. Since you have not had a chance to decide on your own markings, I have taken it upon myself to design them for you.”

“That is kind of you to do so.”

“We’re ready,” one of the women said, looking at Indra expectantly.

Indra nodded and turned her attention back to me. She walked forward and laid a hand on my shoulder, surprising me with such familiarity, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

I looked at her in confusion, “Indra?”

“Do not worry, Rook,” she replied, “You will do well here.”

I nodded uncertainly and she let me go. I watched her silently as she walked away. When the door closed behind her, the women turned their attention to me and I suddenly felt like I was in trouble.

By the time they were finished, the sky had turned to twilight and the left side of my body felt like one large bruise. From what I could feel, from my forehead to down my arm to across my chest and down my back was covered in ink. When I was finally allowed up, I looked down my chest and arm. The markings followed the scars, bringing them forward and more prominent. They were tribal, like much of what I’d seen on others, but they also had an unidentifiable quality to them, like an endless rope or knot. Some of the lines merged to become images, paws, wolves, and a wolf’s head. Indra had decided to immortalize my fight to the death with the wolf. The White Wolf. I felt oddly touched that she had thought to do that and strangely I felt proud for accomplishing it.

“Thank you,” I told them as I pulled a shirt loosely over my head.

“It was an honor,” the younger of the two said with a small smile. “You rid us of a terrible beast.”

“I could be gallant and say that it was an honor and pleasure,” I said, returning the smile, “but it was a rather painful experience that I do not wish to repeat anytime soon.”

She chuckled, but quickly schooled her features when the other woman scowled making me chuckle. The woman turned her scowl on me and I ducked my head to hide my blush of embarrassment.

“We’ve brought clothes for you to change into,” the older woman said. “When the time comes for the ceremony, someone will come and get you. You are to remain here until then.”

“Alright. Thank you,” I replied, glancing up at them through my lashes.

They left after cleaning up and I laid back down on the bed, closing my eyes intent on taking a nap. I must have fallen deeper asleep than I meant because the next thing I knew, I was being gently shaken awake.

“I’m awake,” I said, voice still hoarse from sleep.

The hand retracted and I sat up, blinking to make the room come into focus. I looked up to see Nyko standing close by.

I gave him a lopsided grin and asked, “Is it time then?”

He nodded, “It is. You should get changed.”

I rubbed my face and stood up to look at the clothing that had been left for me. The clothing was dyed in dark greens and browns, making it easier to blend into a forest in full bloom. They were soft to the touch and I knew them to be leather. They were some of the nicest clothes that I’d ever seen and they were mine.

“I’ll let you change,” he said, abruptly and I nodded at him absently as I continued to stroke the clothing.

When the door closed behind him, I began changing. The first thing and probably most notable about them was the fact that they clung to my body. It made me highly aware that I actually had curves. There was something that looked like a vest and corset combined, pushing up my breasts and I glanced down at the cleavage that was suddenly exposed. Lastly, there was a new jacket and when I put it on, buckled and snapped it closed, it still allowed me full freedom of movement. Practical was the word that went through my mind. The clothing was meant to not catch on things when moving through the forest. The only thing that was mine were the boots that I put back on once I was done.

There was a knock on the door and I stood up as it opened. The young woman that had helped tattoo me earlier came in and stopped short when she saw me. Her eyes widening in surprise and a blush creeping up her neck. I chuckled at her reaction, snapping her eyes towards my face.

“You do realize that you spent the day marking my naked chest,” I teased, smiling at her.

Her blush deepened and she walked forward slowly until she stopped a few feet from me. I watched her curiously and when I saw her eyes roam the length of me, I suddenly felt something else making me shift. No one had ever looked at me like the way she was doing now.

“Um,” I said, breaking the silence. “Did you come here for a reason?”

“Hmm,” she said, looking at me in the eyes and then she said, “Oh, I came here to fix your hair.”

I reached up and tried to run my fingers through my hair, but couldn’t go very far without running into tangles, making me wince as it pulled against my scalp.

“That is probably a pretty good idea. My idea of fixing my hair is brushing it and pulling it into a ponytail,” I replied with a crooked grin.

“No braiding,” she asked curiously as I sat on the chair.

“Not usually, no.”

“Well, tonight you shall,” she said as she began to brush my hair, gently working out the tangles.

It was unexpectedly pleasant to feel someone brushing my hair and I felt myself relaxing further and closing my eyes as she continued. Every once in awhile I could feel feather light touches along my neck and the sides of my face, making my body shiver involuntarily and making my breath catch in my throat at the sensations. I ignored it as best as I could, but I couldn’t help the increase in my heart rate. Neither one of us spoke, but she began humming softly to herself and it lulled me into a more peaceful sense of mind.

When she laid a hand lightly on my shoulder, my eyes flew open and I looked up and over at her, seeing her smile and she said, “I’m done.”

“Thank you,” I said after clearing my throat.

“Your welcome, Rook.”

For a moment neither one of us moved and then impulsively I reached up and taking her hand, kissed it along the back of it before I let it go. She started at the gesture but her smile widened a little farther and leaned down and kissed me lightly. It surprised me and when she stood up straight again, I could only stare at her in wonderment.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile now,” she said softly.

“You have,” I asked after I found my voice.

“Yes.”

“No one’s ever wanted to kiss me before,” I said quietly, almost ashamed.

Sadness crossed her eyes before they returned to a more pleasant state, “That is their loss.”

She leaned down again, kissing me more fully, her hand wrapping around the back of my head as I reached up and did the same. I felt myself becoming lost in the feel of her lips against mine, her teeth nipped gently on my lower lip making me gasp and inviting her tongue inside. I had a feeling that we would have continued kissing if it wasn’t for a knock on the door. We parted breathlessly and she wiped her thumb across my lower lip, making me close my eyes and shudder at the feeling. She chuckled and then her hand was gone.

I opened my eyes and stood up as she answered the door. I straightened my clothes as I looked up and saw Indra step inside. The woman slipped out behind her, giving me a wink before the door closed.

“It’s time, Rook,” Indra said.

I inclined my head and taking a deep breath, replied, “I’m ready.”

“You look like you were born Trikru, Sky Girl,” she said. “Except none of us have eyes the color of yours.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, smiling. “I’m afraid that’s the only thing we can’t change about me.”

She huffed in the approximation of a laugh, “We’ll give you a pass on your eye color, Rook. Shall we?”

“Of course,” I replied, indicating that she should go first out of the door.

I followed her, closing the door behind me. The entire village had gathered in the courtyard and a cheer went up as we approached the center, making me stumble slightly and blush. I caught myself and was spared no other thought as the ceremony began and the party started.

The night was a blur, but the image that remained in my thoughts, my memories was the woman. The woman who made me feel warm inside and crave the need to have her touch me. The woman had a name and it was Ava


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It get's a bit explicit here and I'm not that great at writing sex scenes. So, sorry.

I woke up to a warm weight laying against me. I opened my eyes and smiled at the sleeping figure in my arms, her arm wrapped loosely around my waist and her leg thrown haphazardly across mine. I squeezed her tightly and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. She shifted slightly, her arm tightening around my waist as she exhaled softly against my shoulder.

I took a moment to glance around the unfamiliar room. My home. It was odd to think that I actually had a place to call a home. A home that was mine and that I didn’t have to share it unless I wanted to. It was sparse. Only a bed, table, a couple of chairs and a wash basin were its contents. There was a fireplace against the far wall from the bed and it had a small fire going in it.

I felt Ava’s breathing change and looked down at her as she looked up at me, smiling. She lifted herself slightly and kissed me languidly. I hummed against her lips and my hand traveled down her side until it rested against her hip. The kiss deepened and she slid until she was on top of me, her legs straddling my hips. My hands gripped her hips as I started to rock them against my own. We both moaned at the feeling and I arched my head back as her lips created a path down my jaw and neck. Her teeth nipped my neck and I couldn’t help the deeper moan that escaped my lips. She did it again and my hands jerked her hips more forcefully. She continued to travel downwards and I damn near bucked her off me when she took a breast into her mouth, making her squeal slightly. She resettled herself and my hands traveled up her back and then back down, fingernails pressing into her skin, making her groan at the feeling which sent shivers down my body. There was nothing I could do but roll through the sensations and feelings she was creating in me, making me wet with want. It was exquisite torture and I didn’t want her to stop. She was making me feel things that I had only dreamed of and when her mouth found my wet center, I screamed out as her tongue circled my clit. I arched my back as she found her way inside with her tongue and clutched the bedding tighter. I felt myself drawing to the edge and nearly lost it when she inserted the first finger and withdrew it slightly before plunging it in once more. I couldn’t help but follow the tempo she set as she trailed kisses up my body, taking a breast in her mouth once more, making me moan even louder. I couldn’t take it any more and I pulled her roughly upwards and crushed her mouth to mine. I flipped us over and grinned against her mouth when my own hand found her wet and wanting. I teased the folds, stroking them lightly and making her shudder and widening her hips. My thumb circled her clit as I continued to tease making her groan in frustration. I took my time tasting every inch of her skin as I continued the tease until I came to her breasts. I spared a glance at her face and found her begging me with her eyes, biting her bottom lip. At the same time, I took her breast in my mouth, my teeth grazing her nipple, I thrust into her deeply. She screamed out as I continued the force, using my hips to drive my finger deeper into her. Her hands raked my back and I knew that there would be marks later on. I lost myself in the sounds she made as I pushed her near the edge again and again until neither of our bodies could take it anymore. When she reached down and inserted her own fingers into me, a loud guttural moan escaped and I could no more than drive us to the edge and plummet over as we came together. We pulled out the exquisite sensations for as long as we could until I all but collapsed against her, gasping for air as my muscles trembled. I could barely move my arm to cup her face and bring her into a kiss, but I managed and soon fell asleep, exhausted and filling complete.

When I woke again, I moaned as I shifted and I heard Ava chuckle breathlessly beside me. I opened an eye and glared at her. She looked at me with smiling eyes and I felt my annoyance flee and kissed her. We shifted until we were both comfortable and I kissed her exposed neck as my arm tightened around her waist.

“I was not expecting this when I woke up yesterday morning,” I said.

She chuckled, “What were you expecting?”

“To wake up alone, but instead I wake up with a beautiful woman in my arms, naked, sated, sore, and happy.”

“I’ve made you happy,” she asked, surprised.

“Hmm, yes,” I replied, kissing her on her shoulder. “I may only know your name and that you are beautiful, but you have made me happy by spending this time with me. By choosing to be with me last night.”

She shifted until she could look at me fully, her arm circling around my waist and pulling me closer, “You are just as beautiful as you think I am, Rook. I have watched you since Nyko began walking you around the village. You drew my eyes as no other woman has before. I am happy that you allowed me this chance.”

“I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was the _Skaigada_ who killed the _Bounstoka_ ,” I teased or tried to, but it didn’t quite reach my eyes.

She saw this and moved her hand to cup my face, making me close my eyes momentarily. She gave me a light kiss and said, “That had been the initial reason for watching you, but that is not the reason why I continued to watch you or that I am here in your arms right now. I see you, Rook. I see your strength, your courage, your beauty. I even see that you are uncertain and insecure. Scared. I see you as you are and I wish no other place to be than here with you.”

I couldn’t help the tear that fell from my eye at her words and I pulled her tightly against me and pushed my face into her neck. She just held me and let out comforting sounds as I felt a flood of emotions and allowed myself to feel them. I loosened my hold on her when I felt more in control of myself and shifted backwards so that I could look at her again.

“Thank you, Ava,” I said, softly. “For seeing me.”

“We all see you, Rook. It’s time you start seeing yourself.”

I nodded and then in embarrassment, my stomach growled loudly making me blush and she laughed out loud. I glared at her as she extricated herself from underneath the bedding and pulled on the dress from last night. She walked over and stoked the fire until it was burning more brightly and the room became more noticeably warmer. I sighed and got out of bed, dressing as she went about the room and started pulling food out of cabinets that I hadn’t noticed before. I poured water into the basin and washed my face, wincing slightly at the soreness along the left side of my face.

“Why the face,” I asked as I turned around and sat at the table, biting a late season apple.

She looked at me in confusion and I gestured to the tattoo. She nodded in understanding and said, “Indra wished to make sure that you could not be mistaken for the _Skaikru_. Your eyes are already question enough to doubt who your people are.”

I nodded in understanding, “Yeah, brown and green eyes seem to be the prevailing shades of eye color around here. Is it the same in other clans?”

She shook her head, “No, you will see different eye colors outside of _Trikru_ lands.”

“Do you think I will,” I asked curiously. “See outside of our lands.”

“I think Indra believes to make a warrior out of you,” she said as she poured me a drink and then sat beside me. “If that is the case, then when the Commander calls for warriors than you shall follow and go where she commands.”

“And the Commander is the leader over all of the clans?”

She nodded, “That’s right. The Commander’s home is in Polis, our capital. She leads over a group called the Coalition. It’s made up of twelve ambassadors. One from each clan. They are the ones that govern over all twelve clans.”

“Huh,” I said, mostly to myself. “A governing body much like the Council on the Ark.”

“The Ark,” she asked, looking at me strangely.

“It’s a large metal object in space. Floats among the stars,” I said, trying to figure out an easy way to explain it to her. “Thousands of people live up there, but they are starting to die because the air is running out, turning bad. It’s why we were sent down here. To see if the land was survivable and at the same time to give them more time to find a solution.”

“Do they know,” she asked, worriedly.

I shook my head and shrugged, “Monty and I were trying to get our communications back up on the dropship. It had been damaged during the landing, but we weren’t having any luck in repairing it. I don’t know if anything’s changed since then. I don’t even know how long I’ve been here.”

“You’ve been here for about a month,” she answered. “You actually healed pretty quickly. Nyko was thinking at least another month before you’d get full use of your shoulder.”

I grinned, “Must be the clean air and Nyko’s magic medicine. Or getting bit by the White Wolf has changed me into some mythical creature that heals quickly.”

Her eyes widened in fear and I had to quickly tell her that I was joking. She relaxed, but only slightly. So, I teased her until she had relaxed completely.

“Tell me how you came to be named Rook,” she asked when things had calmed down.

“Do you know what a rook is,” I asked her in return and she shook her head, “It’s a type of black bird that is in the same family as crows and ravens. Black birds that caw and can learn to mimic other sounds. They’re also prone to stealing shiny objects.”

She nodded in understanding, “I’ve seen those. They can be quite the pest.”

I chuckled, “I’m sure they are. Anyway, when the earth was full of humans and animals. When the ruins we see were not ruins, scientists, people who studied various things, ran tests on a breed of bird called rooks. They found out that they are great at solving puzzles. Using things and manipulating them to get at the reward. When I was younger, my parents and teachers discovered that I was great at solving puzzles and traps. The more complex, the better I did. One of my teachers compared me to a rook and the name stuck.”

“So, you were not born with this name,” she asked curiously.

I smiled, “No, but I have been Rook since I was five. I was born Sarah.”

“Sarah? No, that does not suit you. Rook is a much better name. Odd, but better.”

I laughed and leaned over to kiss her, “Hence why no one knows my real name anymore.”

“You also have a new name that is being passed on in the village,” she said, bemusedly.

“Oh,” I asked, arching my brow. “I’m not sure I like the idea of being given a name.”

“It is an honor to be given a name, or really a title, Rook,” she said, taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “It means that you have done something that warrants attention.”

I sighed and said, “I have a name because I killed the wolf, don’t I?”

She nodded, “ _Pakripa_ , Wolf Killer.”

I shook my head, “That…is…not bad. All things considering.”

Ava laughed and tugged my hand closer to her, making me fall forward and captured my lips with hers. When we parted, I laid my head against hers and breathed her in deeply. She smelled of ink and woodsmoke and I knew that I would know her anywhere just by her scent. I just worried that maybe that this is all it would be between us. Last night and this morning.

“What are you thinking about,” she asked quietly as she tilted her head up to look at me.

I looked down at our hands, my thumb absently stroking the back of hers and said, “This is going to sound stupid, but I’m wondering if after we both walk out that door that this’ll be it. That this is just a one-time thing for you. Ava, you’re a lot of firsts for me. I’ve never kissed a girl before you or had sex before last night. I’ve never had someone tell me I’m beautiful or spend this kind of time with me. I’ve never had someone treat me like you have.”

She took her other hand and with a finger under my chin, lifted my face to look at her as she said, “Rook, this can be whatever you want it to be. If you only wish it to be these last twelve hours than it shall be. If you’d like to see if there is anything beyond those hours, I’m open to that too. Or anything in between. I may not know much about you, Rook, but what I do know, I like.”

“You do,” I asked, surprised and at the same time giddy.

“Yes, Rook,” she said, sounding exasperated. “I like you. Now, stop worrying about it and kiss me.”

I laughed and pulled her onto my lap, surprising her. I pulled her head down and kissed her passionately enough that she moaned. Unfortunately, at that same moment there was a knock on the door and we both moaned in unison.

“Give us a moment,” I called out.

She gave me one final kiss before she got off my lap and smoothed her dress down. I got up and walked over to the door and opened it to find Artigas waiting outside.

“It’s time for training, Rook,” he said with a grin.

“Alright,” I said and turned my head to look at Ava, “I guess I’ll see you later?”

She walked up behind me and gave me a hug and a quick kiss and replied, “Yes you will.”

With that she gave me a slight push and I was out the door and following Artigas to the training fields. That morning I came face to face with the mountain of a man called Tomas, my teacher and mentor. By the end of training, I found myself cursing his name in the same breath that I wished for death. When I got home, Ava was waiting for me with hot food and warm hands making me thank all that’s holy that she was there and that she wanted me.

That day marked the beginning of a new routine. My days were spent training with Tomas and then heading over to Nyko’s to learn healing. At night, Ava and I would spend it talking as she taught me more about the world I was now living in. My feelings for her grew as the nights got longer and the days colder. 

My world became that of my new home and I rarely thought about the people that I had left behind, both in the sky on the Ark and here on the ground at the dropship. That all changed one night as Ava and I were walking around the village, speaking of inconsequential things, when a sound drove our gazes upward. I recognized the sound as that of a large object breaking through the atmosphere and watched as a dropship plummeted down to the earth. Nothing firing to slow it down, no parachutes deploying. There was nothing to keep it from becoming a metal death trap. My chest squeezed tight as it crashed and an explosion of light and sound reverberated through the land. I found myself unable to move, breathe, think as I watched the fire burn and the smoke begin to choke the sky.

It wasn’t until Ava shook me and calling my name that I was able to focus on her.

“Rook, do you know what that was,” she asked, glancing fearfully at the flames that could still be seen.

I nodded numbly, “It was a dropship. From the Ark. No one could have survived that, but what made it crash? The retro thrusters didn’t fire. The parachutes didn’t deploy. How could they have a complete systems failure? That’s impossible.”

“Rook, what are you talking about,” she asked desperately as others started to come out of their homes at the noise and were staring off into the horizon that was slowly fading back into the night as the fire died down.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of all of the things that could have caused it to crash as it did, and focused on her and said, “It shouldn’t have crashed like that, Ava. It should have landed exactly like the dropship that was carrying me did. That sound we heard, was it breaking through the Earth’s atmosphere. At that point, the reverse thrusters should have fired, slowing it down. The parachutes would have deployed, slowing it down even further to make sure that those inside would survive the landing.”

“I still don’t understand,” she lamented.

I growled in frustration, but said, “It’s fine. It’s okay. All I’m saying is that it shouldn’t have crashed. There are things on that ship, tek that is supposed to prevent such a tragedy from happening. Everyone on that ship is dead. They would have died on impact and not felt a thing. They didn’t feel their deaths.”

“So, more Sky People were trying to come down,” Indra said, startling me because I hadn’t realized that she’d come over towards us.

“Yes, the camp must have found a way to contact the Ark,” I replied. “Or it’s getting that desperate up there that they took a chance and sent more people down. I won’t know the answer to that question unless I go back to camp.”

“Which you are not doing, Rook,” she said, giving me a steely gaze.

“I understand that, Indra,” I replied. “I’d be killed or captured on the spot anyway if I came close to the camp. I no longer look, speak, dress like they do anymore and wouldn’t be trusted enough to get any answers.”

“I’m glad that you are not going to argue with me on this. Do you think they will try again?”

“It’s possible, but I don’t think they have any more ships that are near complete enough or could be completed in the time they have left before the air runs out,” I replied, thinking.

“You should head inside, Rook,” Indra said in a voice that brokered no argument, so I nodded and headed home. 

When I crawled underneath the covers and allowed Ava to pull me close to her, I couldn’t help that my mind tried to figure out what could have caused the crash and I slept very little that night.

The next day, I could barely concentrate on my training and was nearly skewered several times before Tomas got angry at me and called a halt. He all but dragged me to Indra’s quarters and I then got to spend what seemed like an hour outside of them as they spoke heatedly. When it finally silenced, I jumped as the door opened and Tomas jerked his head for me to enter and he left, closing the door behind me.

“Tomas tells me that you were untrainable today,” she said as I came to stand in front of her.

“I am sorry to say, but that is true,” I replied. “I am having difficulty moving my mind away from the crash because I cannot figure out why it did.”

“Would traveling to the crash help solve this riddle that is now plaguing you?”

I looked up at her and said, “I do not know. It might, but it may only lead to more questions. No, traveling will give me no answers, but may I ask if I may take the rest of today and tomorrow to work through this on my own. If I allow myself a time limit, I will be able to focus on my training once that time is up. It has worked for me in the past.”

She looked at me thoughtfully and then she nodded, “Yes. I will allow it, but do not travel beyond the village.”

“Thank you, Indra,” I replied, bowing my head. “I won’t be leaving my home.”

“Rook, I am sorry that you witnessed such a horrible end to your people.”

“I have a feeling they weren’t my people. I think my people are already gone,” I said and left after waiting for a dismissal from her.

I walked through the village, my mind already pondering the possible answers to the questions that ran roughshod through it. I nearly walked past my home, but Ava was waiting for me and caught my attention.

I looked up at her startled making her chuckle as she took me inside, “You really do lose all sense of awareness when you are thinking deeply.”

I gave her a wan smile, “Now, you can understand how I got lost in the first place, Ava. All of my focus turns inward and I give little thought to what is going on around me. I have even forgotten to eat or sleep many times when I come across a problem that is not readily solved.”

“Then tell me, what were you thinking about the day that you got lost in the forest,” she asked as we sat on the bed.

“A number of things, really,” I answered as I held her. “I was trying to remember if I had ever seen schematics, maps, of communication for the dropship. Possible ways to get it working. Thinking about two girls that I’ve had crushes on for what seemed like a lifetime. Remembering why I got locked up.”

“You were locked up? As in a criminal,” she asked, looking at me in surprise.

“All of the hundred are criminals, Ava,” I said, evenly. “It’s why were sent down instead of scientists. The Council sent us down because we were expendable. If we survived the landing and found the ground livable then we gave them a solution. If we didn’t, we bought them more time to figure something else out.”

“So, they just threw you away? Like trash? For what?!”

“To keep the human race alive,” I said. “For however long as they could because they did not know that the human race was alive down here.”

“That’s not right, Rook,” she said, shaking her head in disgust. “Do they value life so little that they risk throwing it all away.”

“They don’t see criminals as being deserving of life. Anybody that commits a crime over the age of eighteen is executed. From stealing food to murder. It’s all met with the same end. Those of us who are under the age of eighteen, when we are caught, we’re locked up until we turn eighteen. Depending on the crime and how well we behaved, we had a chance to be let go and move on with our lives.”

“Why were you locked up?”

I sighed and as I looked up at the fireplace, I answered, “I nearly beat a man to death because he wouldn’t stop harassing me.”

“Why was he harassing you,” she asked quietly.

“Because I am attracted to women. I tried to ignore him at first, but he came at me every day. Spouting the same nastiness, calling me names, and just plain making my life so miserable to the point that I seriously thought about killing myself. One day, I just snapped and started beating him and I didn’t stop until I was pulled off of him and dragged away. I wasn’t put on trial. I wasn’t given the chance to defend my actions. I was just thrown in lock up and left there.”

“I’m sorry, _ai hodness_ ,” she said, pulling me closer to her. “No one should have to go through what you did. You should be allowed to love who you love.”

I nodded against her chest and hugged her tightly, “That was a little over four years ago. I was fourteen when it happened, in case you were wondering. And I know that I would have been dead if they had waited a week before sending the dropship down.”

She hummed in sympathy and continued to hold me. After a while she spoke again, “Tell me about these girls you liked before you met me.”

I sat up and looked at her quizzically and asked, “Really? You want to know about the girls that I crushed on before I met you?”

She smiled and replied, “Yes. I want to know what made them special to you.”

I sighed and knew that I couldn’t avoid answering, so I said, “Alright. Well, there was Raven. I met her when we started training to become mechanics. She just always had so much energy about her, like she couldn’t stand still for very long. Always had to keep moving, you know? She’s super smart. Like, crazy smart. Always at the top of the class. Always came in first. She was always in a good mood and her laughter was infectious. I loved the way she laughed. She was intimidating too, but it was because she was just so damn good and smart. She had plans to be the youngest zero-g mechanic on board the Ark. During one of my last stints in general population where I could mingle with the other inmates, I came across her boyfriend and he told me that she had become one. I thought that was amazing and it just made me crush on her more.”

“What does she look like?”

“Probably about average height, I guess,” I said, picturing her. “Straight brown hair that she always wore in a ponytail to keep it out of the way. Brown eyes, cute nose, kissable lips. She had curves, but there was very little fat on her. She was toned muscle. Lightly tanned skin.”

“And the other girl,” she prompted.

“That would be Clarke,” I said, sighing. “The opposite of Raven, kind of. Blonde haired, blued eyed, pale skin that tans nicely. Average height. Real curves that had softness to her. Intelligent, caring, self-sacrificing, thoughtful, compassionate. A generally nice person. Loved to hear her laugh too and I found her voice soothing to listen to. She came down on the dropship with me. She was arrested because her father was executed for treason. They both knew that the Ark was dying and wanted to let everyone know so that they could come together to come up with a solution. Her father was turned in before he could announce it and she was thrown into solitary so she couldn’t tell anyone else. When I left, she was becoming one of the camp leaders.”

“They sound like very beautiful women, Rook and that you like them for different reasons.”

“They are very beautiful, but they are nothing compared to you, Ava,” I said, nuzzling her neck with my nose. “I find all of those things in you and more.”

“So, I am not just a passing fancy,” she teased as her arms tightened around me when I nipped her neck lightly.

“No, you are not,” I said and pulled her down into a kiss.

That kiss led to hours of not thinking about the crashed ship or the two girls that I once spared my thoughts and feelings for.


	4. Chapter 4

True to my word, after a day and a half, I was able to focus on resuming my training. I had come up with no clear answers and knew that I probably never would. For once, I was okay with not knowing and grateful to turning my attention to something that I could. Tomas pushed me hard that day to make up for the loss of training and Nyko was no easier taskmaster. By the time I came home, I was a trembling mess of muscles and could do no more than collapse on the bed before I fell asleep.

I woke up to something repeatedly hitting my head. I groaned as I tried to move, but I was in too much pain and stiff to do much more than shift my head towards the direction of the room. I blearily opened my eyes to find Ava sitting in the chair holding something that looked like nuts in the palm of her hand.

“Are you throwing nuts at me,” I demanded, glaring at her.

“I had to spend the night at my mother’s,” she said as way of explanation. 

“You’re throwing nuts at me because you spent the night at your mother’s? Well, why did you spend the night there?”

“You couldn’t be woken up and you refused to move. You are much heavier than when you first came to us.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said and tried to move again, but my body still refused to obey me. “Tomas was merciless yesterday. And Nyko had me harvesting winter plants until darkness fell. Ava, my body hurts too much to move. I think I’m stuck.”

She shook her head ruefully and put the rest of the nuts in the bowl that was sitting on the table. She got up and hauled me into a sitting position. My body hated the movement so much that it contracted painfully and I had to bite back a scream.

“Fuck, this hurts,” I said breathlessly as I leaned against her. “How the hell am I going to get through training today if I can’t fucking move?”

“Luckily, your lover figured that you would be sore,” she said as she propped me up against the wall, “and procured a hot bath for you this morning.”

“Oh, you are an angel sent from above and I will gladly worship at your feet for the rest of my life,” I said eliciting a chuckle from her.

“You say the strangest things sometimes, _hodness_ , but they make me feel very good inside,” she said as she began the painstaking task of undressing me.

“It means that I am so very lucky to have you in my life, Ava. I don’t know how I’d get through each day without you here.”

“There you go again,” she said, shaking her head in amusement. “Strange words.”

“Compliments, my love,” I said. “Not strange. I tell you as often as you tell me.”

“Yes, well,” she said, standing up and reaching for my hands. “It is strange to hear them at all. I’m not so used to being in a relationship that it does not cause me to blush when you utter those words.”

She took my hands and bracing her foot against the bed, pulled me forward until I was standing. I leaned against her as she walked me over to the waiting tub and I moaned as she slid her hands against my sides and lifted my shirt off me.

She laughed as she lowered me in, “So, your body knows more than pain at the moment, hmm?”

I sighed as the warmth slowly seeped into my body making my muscles relax in minuscule increments and I said, “Pleasurable pain. Thank you for this.”

“I take care of mine,” she said simply and leaned over to kiss me.

I was able to move enough to reach up and grasp the back of her head, snaking my fingers through her hair, deepening the kiss. When I finally released her, she sat back abruptly and looked at me in wonder.

“What was that for,” she asked.

“Because I love you, Ava,” I said, softly and beckoned her to come closer once more. She did and as I traced a finger along her jawline, I repeated myself, “I love you.”

I smiled at the joy that erupted over her face and the same time a blush crept up. She leaned in further and kissed me with fervor, “I love you too, Rook. You have no idea how happy this makes me.”

“If it’s anything similar to the way I feel, I most certainly do. You mean everything to me and I’m not just saying because I think it’s something that you want to hear. Or that I’m saying it to make you stay with me. I mean it, you mean everything to me.”

“You are something else, Rook _kom Trikru_ ,” she said, shaking her head in amusement.

I made a face and then slid my head underwater, holding my breath for as long as possible. When I came up for air, I wiped the water from my eyes and grinned at her. I felt the lightest I had ever felt before and I knew it was because there was love in my heart. Something that I never thought I would ever get to experience.

The rest of the day I felt on top of the world and nothing that Tomas did nor Nyko could bring me down. That night, I showed Ava exactly what I meant when I said that I would willingly worship at her feet and she fell asleep in her own happy bubble of contentment and completely sated.

The next morning while Ava and I were having breakfast there was a rather authoritative knock on the door. I looked at Ava in confusion, but she could only shrug her shoulders, so I got up and answered it.

I stepped back surprised, “Indra? Please come in.”

I stepped back further into the room and opened the door wider and watched Indra stride into the room before she turned abruptly to face me. I closed the door and came closer, tense from the closed off stare.

“Did you know that your people have weapons like the Mountain Men,” she asked suddenly.

I shook my head, not understanding, “Mountain Men? Weapons? I don’t understand.”

She glanced over at Ava, who looked at her apologetically and said, “I haven’t told her about them yet.”

Indra let out a heavy sigh and sat in the chair I had been sitting in. Unsure of myself, I sat on the edge of the bed glancing between the two of them as my confusion grew.

“Who are the Mountain Men,” I asked when neither spoke.

“They are our greatest enemy, Rook,” Indra began explaining. “They live in the great Mountain near here.”

“Mount Weather,” I supplied and received a nod.

“For many years they have been stealing our people using Reapers. Men who used to be clan members, but are now monsters. We do not know why they kidnap our people.”

“That’s horrible,” I said, shocked and horrified. “What has that got to do with my people?”

“They now possess weapons like the Mountain Men. When we have fought them, they have used these against us and death is swift when they do. I want to know if you knew about it.”

I shook my head, still not grasping the full picture, but answered, “When I left, we were still using makeshift weapons like knives and spears. We had nothing like what you are talking about. Can you describe these weapons or draw them, maybe?”

Ava and Indra exchanged a glance and then she got up and went to the fireplace. She reached down and withdrew a charred piece of wood before coming back to the table. Using the table, she drew the weapon that they spoke of. I recognized it immediately and laid a hand over hers to stop her.

“This is called a rifle,” I told Indra. “The guards on the Ark have them in their armory under lock and key. They must have found a stash here on the ground if you’ve seen them with the rifles. Which means, that they have indeed made contact with the Ark since I left. That’s the only way they would have been able to find them.”

“You do not believe that they have aligned themselves with the Mountain,” Indra asked, pressingly.

I shook my head, “After what happened with Jasper, we stayed pretty close to the camp. None of us ventured very far unless we were in small groups and hunting for food. Unless the Mountain Men came to the camp, they wouldn’t have gone looking. I’m pretty sure they still believe that Mount Weather is uninhabited. That’s what I believed until you just told me otherwise.”

“Could they have gotten the weapons from the crash site?”

“No, with how big that fire was, nothing would have been really able to survive except for the black box that records everything that happens in the cockpit of the ship. If there were remnants of weapons, they would have been barely recognizable and useless. No, I’m pretty sure that the Council on the Ark told them about some place that may have supplies to get them through winter.”

“Let me ask you this, Rook,” she said carefully, “If Clarke was able to convince us to create a truce between the camp and ourselves, would the rest of the Sky People have abided by the terms?”

I took the time to consider her question, and when I came to a conclusion, I said, “I’m not sure, honestly. I know that Clarke would try and convince the Council to abide by the terms of the truce, but unless something has changed, they would still see you as a threat. But this is all hypothetical, Indra. After this crash, I’m not sure they’re even able to come down. For all I know, they’re already dead and the Ark is nothing more than a floating coffin.”

“Are your people worth saving?”

“Were they ever my people to begin with,” I countered and looked down at my hands. “Indra, I’ve always been the odd man out. Never really fitting in or even noticed. I didn’t grow up feeling loved. I grew up feeling alone. None of that changed until I got lost in the forest. If they were all suddenly gone tomorrow, I’m not sure that I would feel anything.”

In an unexpected gesture of familiarity, she laid a hand on my knee making me look up at her abruptly, questioning her in my gaze.

“They didn’t deserve you, Rook,” was all she said as she gave my knee a gentle squeeze and got up to leave. Before she left, she turned and said, “Thank you for being honest, Rook.”

“Always, Indra,” I said and watched as the door closed behind her.

“Are you okay,” Ava asked as she came to sit beside me.

I shrugged, “It hurts having to admit that I had a somewhat shitty upbringing, but it makes me more grateful for what I’ve gained since I’ve been here. I think I’d go through it again as long as I always ended up here.”

“So, you wouldn’t change anything,” she asked, nervously.

I gave her a sideways grin and said, “The only thing I would change would be killing that wolf before she fucked up my arm and nearly killing me. Besides that, nothing.”

She reached over and pulled me on top of her, kissing me and making any residual bad feelings my conversation with Indra had created disappear as I lost myself in her.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day I was dragged out of bed in the pre-dawn light by Artigas and his father. They had apparently been tasked with taking me hunting for the day and teaching me everything they knew. I was surprised at how quickly I picked up on how to track the boars we were going after as they showed me the signs to look for. They also showed me the prints of various animals, identifying them and then making me commit them to memory. They were surprised at how quietly I moved through the forest and rarely had to reprimand me when I did make a sound. They showed me how to set traps for smaller prey like rabbits and we left them set up as we continued to follow the boars trail.

When we finally neared them, we spread out to partially surround them and continued to quietly approach the small herd. This was the first time that I’d used my spear on something alive and not practice dummies, but I gritted my teeth and when I felt like I could hit my target with accuracy, I threw the spear as hard as I could. I watched it as it slammed into the boar, making it squeal out in terror. I had hit it exactly where I wanted it to, right behind the shoulder blade. What I wasn’t expecting was the fact that I had thrown hard enough to rip through the animal and embed itself into the ground pinning it. The others had thrown their spears at the same time as I had with mixed results. We ran into the group and with much dodging and jabbing more spears, we had managed to kill two of the boars.

Exhausted and breathing heavy, I walked over to the one I had somehow managed to pin down and took a moment to figure out exactly how I had thrown a spear that hard. It took all three of us to pull the spear from the ground because I had embedded it over three feet in the ground. While Artigas and his father held onto the boar, I yanked the spear out and we took a moment to relax.

“In all of my years, I have never seen someone throw a spear as powerfully as you have, Rook,” his father said, looking at me in awe.

I looked up at him in surprise, “Really?! I didn’t even know that I could really throw that hard. I know that my aim is true regardless of what I throw and that there is strength behind it, but I was not expecting this.”

“First the Bounstoka and now this,” Artigas said, grinning excitedly, “You are something else, Rook.”

“I don’t know about that, Artigas,” I said, still staring at the boar. “There’s nothing special about me, so I wish that you’d stop trying to place me there.”

I suddenly stumbled and had to catch myself from falling as they both rushed to me.

“Rook, your arm,” his father said, pointing to my left arm. “One of the boars got you. Didn’t you feel it?”

I lifted my arm to look at it more closely and saw that my forearm had a huge gash down the length of it, “Fuck. I don’t have any feeling in my arm since the wolf. We need to stop the bleeding before I pass out.”

He nodded and retrieved his pack that held the medical supplies. I sat down on the ground and using my teeth and hand ripped my shirt exposing the gash more fully. I made a face at how ugly it looked. Artigas handed me a water skein and I poured it over my arm to wash away what I could. His father handed me a rag and I wiped the surface to clean it of anything that was still clinging, like dirt. I flipped it around and applied pressure as Artigas wrapped another bandage around the arm tightly enough to staunch the blood flow. When we were done, he helped me to stand and the sudden movement made me dizzy. I’d lost a lot of blood without realizing it.

“We need to get these ready to move,” I said. “I’m not going to be able to help field dressing them because if I lean over, I will pass out.”

“We’ll take care of it,” his father reassured me. “Why don’t you lean against the tree over there while we work?”

I looked over to where he was pointing and nodded. I walked over and leaned, careful not to move too quickly as sudden movements made me dizzy still. It took them a couple of hours to field dress them and then make stretchers to carry them back to the village. They refused to let me carry any of the weight, so I had to make due with carrying their packs and the animals we had caught in the traps we’d set.

When we got back to the village, I headed directly to Nyko’s. I knocked on the door and waited until he opened it for me. Opening it wider when he saw that it was me, I walked inside.

“Back from hunting so soon, little one,” he asked amicably.

“Yeah,” I answered, turning to look at him. “We got two boar and a few rabbits. I got hurt, Nyko, and I didn’t realize it until I nearly passed out from losing too much blood.”

“Show me,” he said, shoving me down into the chair.

I held out my left arm and noticed that the blood had already soaked through but waited patiently as he unwrapped my arm.

“Are you feeling anything, Rook,” he asked as the last of the bandage fell away and he removed the one I had laid across it.

“No. Nothing. It’s like I’m looking at someone else’s arm,” I replied. “The only thing I’m feeling is the pressure from your hand. I’m thinking I need something to better protect my arm and hand, Nyko. I mean, someone could hack off my hand at the wrist and I wouldn’t know it until I passed out from blood loss.”

He twisted my arm this way and that, examining it in the light before he got up and got his kit. When he sat down again, he said, “Hmm, like a vambrace for your forearm?”

I wrinkled my forehead in thought as I tried to recall exactly what that was and smiled when I remembered, “Exactly. Something that goes from wrist to elbow. Tougher than the leather jacket and maybe some kind of glove. Though the glove would need to be tough and pliable at the same time so that I can still hold something in my hand.”

He nodded as he began cleaning the gash, “We do have a leather worker in the village that may be able to make you something like that. You should speak with him.”

“I’ll do that,” I replied as I watched him. “Nyko, something strange happened on the hunt. I threw my spear so hard that it went through the boar and it embedded itself so deeply in the ground that it took all three of us to pull it out. I don’t think I’ve ever shown that kind of strength before.”

“Well, you have been training with Tomas daily,” he said, looking at me before he started stitching my arm. “Working with him, you are bound to gain strength in your arms.”

“True,” I replied, “But it’s only been a few weeks and before that, I was laid out here barely able to lift my arm. Now, I’m suddenly throwing spears accurately at something twenty feet in front of me, impaling it and embedding it deeply into the ground. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Have you noticed anything else that seems strange about yourself?”

“I don’t know. I seemed to pick up tracking easily, but that could be something that comes naturally since I’ve never done it before now. Didn’t you even say yourself that my shoulder healed a month sooner than it should have?”

He nodded, “I did, but you were born in the sky and your body may do things differently than ours.”

“That’s possible,” I said. “I grew up in a completely different environment. Who knows what happened to the ground after _Praimfaya_?”

“What do you mean,” he asked curiously and looked at me fully now that he was done bandaging my arm.

I stared at the fireplace in order to organize my thoughts and than I began, “After _Praimfaya_ , the air we breathe changed because most of the land was destroyed. As the land healed, what came out of it was now different. Animals and plants changed. People who survived by hiding and then came out also changed. Sometimes you can notice the change, but often you won’t.”

“You mean when animals are born with two heads or people who have strange body parts?”

“Yes. Now, that I know that there are three groups of people that survived _Praimfaya_ , I can guess that there are three different groups of people that look similar, but their insides are different. The Mountain Men are similar to the people that lived before _Praimfaya_ so they cannot survive outside their bunker without special clothing. Then there are those that live on the ground. Lastly, are my people.”

“How is it that your people can survive on the ground if you grew up in space?”

I narrowed my eyes in thought and replied, “Because we grew up in space, we lived closer to the sun which exposed us to greater amounts of what we call solar radiation. This solar radiation is like a wave of energy that flows from the sun that we feel as warmth on the ground. Think of the sun as dropping something into a container of water. Those ripples are the waves. The further it moves from the point of impact, the weaker the ripples are. If there is something that surrounds an object that is further from the point, the ripples are even weaker when they reach the object. In this case, the Earth is the object and the atmosphere, which is what gives us a blue sky, causes the waves from the sun to weaken. It changes things on the ground more subtly than what’s in the sky.”

“So, you are saying that your insides can handle these waves better than we can whereas because they never exposed themselves to the waves, the Mountain Men are weaker and cannot handle the waves.”

I smiled, “Yes. It is why they have to wear special clothing when they step outside. It kills them because the waves are different than what they were because the atmosphere is different than before Praimfaya. There are things in the air, invisible things, that change the waves we get from the sun.”

“And these invisible things in the air are not harmful to us?”

“To your ancestors they were, but the ones that survived, the stronger ones, could handle the change in the waves. Just as my ancestors changed to handle the stronger waves.”

“Which means to defeat the Mountain Men, we need to expose them to the air outside their home. Rip their clothing when they step outside.”

“Yes. That is the most effective way to do it.”

“What else can these changes do?”

“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. “Faster healing is a possibility, people could be less prone to sickness, there are an infinite number of possibilities. It would need to be studied over a long period of time and you would need an example of what something was like before Praimfaya to compare it with what is normal now. It would be a fascinating puzzle to figure out.”

“And you like puzzles, correct?”

“Yes, but not that kind of puzzle. I didn’t like science when I was in school. Machines and technology were always something I was interested in.”

“Machines?”

I laughed, “You use them all of the time. It is something that can be built that makes a task easier. Like pulling water from a well. Machines fall under technology.”

He grinned, “You are very smart, Rook, and you have a way of explaining what you are talking about in words that I can understand.”

I blushed, “I wouldn’t say that I was smart, Nyko. It’s just what I know and what you know are different. You’re smart when it comes to healing.”

There was a knock on the door and Ava entered. I smiled up at her and got up to give her a hug.

When we parted, she said, “I was wondering where you had run off to. Artigas told me that you were injured from a boar and I figured you would be here.”

I hung my head in embarrassment, “Yeah, the boar got me in my left arm, so I didn’t feel it until I got dizzy. I was telling Nyko that I need something to better protect myself to prevent it from happening again or at least make it harder to injure. Since, I’m training to be a warrior it would be bad form to die in my first fight because I could not protect it.”

She nodded, “I agree. If you’re done chatting with Nyko, I can take you to our leather worker and he should be able to make you a brace.”

I looked over at Nyko and he gave me a nod, so I turned back to her and said, “Yeah. We were talking about my arm and I started rambling on about other things.”

We walked out and she asked, “Oh, what kind of things.”

“Well, I kinda threw the spear that killed one of the boars harder than I expected and was surprised that it had gone through it completely and into the ground. It didn’t make sense to me that after only a month of training, I had enough strength in my arm to do that. Which got me to talking about how people and creatures had changed after _Praimfaya_.”

“We changed?”

I nodded, “It’s why you occasionally have animals that are deformed, such as a two headed deer or people are born with deformities. And why the Mountain Men cannot survive outside the Mountain while the Sky People can. The only similarities between us is the fact that we use technology and similar weapons. And probably our knowledge is similar because we were able to save the information.”

“Which means what?”

“My people can help take down the Mountain Men,” I replied, looking at her.

We had reached the leather worker and that stopped our conversation. I explained my request and the two of us began designing a brace and glove for me. Ava would occasionally comment and I liked the fact that she talked about integrating thin pieces of metal to make it tougher, so that is what we did. When we were both satisfied on the design, he told me to give him a few days and it would be done. I thanked him and we headed back home.

“It is strange not to hear you complain about being in pain, Rook,” she said as she began making us a meal.

I laughed and said, “It is strange not to be in pain, Ava. As much as I am grateful for it, I realize the danger it puts me in.”

“Yes, I rather like having you around,” she said, grinning at me.

“I like being around too. Especially, around you,” I said and came up behind her to wrap my arms around her waist.

She leaned against me and tilted her head exposing her neck to me. I obliged and kissed her after giving her neck a nip. Her body shivered at the sensation and she let out a soft moan. I chuckled and moved away from her before I started something that would ruin our meal. I sat in a chair after pouring myself a watered-down wine and watched her with hooded eyes. I was extremely grateful to have her in my life. It boosted my self-esteem and confidence knowing that I was capable of being loved and that I could love in return. It made my life so much easier to have that.

“Artigas tells me that you seem to be picking up the skills of a hunter rather quickly,” she said as she sat down to join me while we waited for the food to cook.

I shrugged, “I think it’s because I’m building traps and tracking is like a puzzle that I need to figure out by searching for clues. The walking silently is still hard, though. I’m getting used to the sounds that I make as I walk through the forest. I’m used to walking on metal and our footsteps make a different sound. I used to be able to walk silently on the Ark because I knew how to place my feet.”

“So, once you get used to the sounds you make, you’ll learn how to place your feet to avoid making the sound.”

I nodded, “At the same time, I need to learn how not to make a trail as I walk. I know the clothing helps because it minimizes the chance of things catching on and breaking.”

She grinned, “You are learning our ways quickly.”

“It’s a matter of survival. I’d rather not get on Indra’s bad side for failing to live up to my potential. Though she does seem appreciative of the knowledge I can give her.”

“It is because you have been truthful from the very beginning. Indra values honesty.”

“So do I.”

“That is a good value to have. As is loyalty.”

“She’s earned my loyalty by saving my life and allowing me to be a part of your people. And my trust.”

After dinner, we were once again visited by Indra. She informed me that the warriors were leaving to join an army that would be sent out to eliminate my people. That frightened me and I told her so. She informed me that we had declared war on them and it was only fitting to respond in kind. Even though I didn’t consider myself part of the 100, I thought it was a harsh response to a group that didn’t know any better. They didn’t know that the flares would land on a village. I couldn’t exactly say the same about the deaths that had occurred when they killed the two scouts or blew up the bridge killing dozens in order to protect themselves. Or that they had kidnapped one of the scouts and tortured him.

I understood why they did it and I had a feeling that Indra would have done the same if placed in the same predicament. In fact, I’m rather sure that she had since she was a general in the Commander’s army.

Indra informed me that I would be staying in the village and even though Tomas would be leaving, I was to continue my training with Artigas. I agreed that I would continue to do so along with continuing my learning with Nyko.

That night, as we lay in bed, Ava comforted me as I spent a restless night coming to terms that people I had known and grown up with would soon be dead.


	6. Chapter 6

The day the warriors left was cloudy and gray, matching my mood. I obeyed Indra’s orders and continued my training, finding myself improving as time moved forward. The third night after they had left, I was woken up by a much louder boom and ran out of my home, not realizing that I was naked. Ava followed me and gave me a shirt. I hastily covered myself as I watched the Ark fall, breaking apart into the original stations. It was heartbreaking to watch as many of the stations exploded in the sky, killing anyone that was in them. When the ones that had survived re-entry crash landed, I headed back inside and stoked the fire knowing that I wouldn’t be able to sleep for the rest of the night.

“What happened,” Ava asked as she sat in my lap, hugging me.

I kissed her gently and replied, “It looks like the people of the Ark were desperate enough to live that they forced the Ark to leave orbit in a chance to make it to the ground. The force of the re-entry broke it into the original twelve stations that had launched right before or after Praimfaya. Since they are over a hundred years old, not all of them survived and exploded. Each station probably had people on board.”

“Those poor souls,” she said sympathetically. “To die like that in such a horrible way.”

I sighed and hugged her tighter, “Much like the people that died on that dropship, they most likely didn’t feel a thing. They just weren’t there anymore. It’s a blessing to die in such a way. Like dying in your sleep. It’s the dying from injuries that is horrible. To be in such pain that you crave death.”

“Did you wish to die after you were attacked by the White Wolf?”

“At first, I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t associate the pain I was feeling with either life or death. When it lessened, I realized that I hadn’t died. I don’t think I wished that I had. All I felt was either pain or nothing. No real clear thoughts until I started to get better.”

“What do you think the survivors will do now that they are on the ground?”

“They will try and contact one another to find out which stations survived and then they will try to gather in a central location. Probably at the largest station, which would be Alpha Station. It looks like a huge ring.”

“Why would they go there?”

“That’s where our medical wing is, so they can better treat those that were injured during the landing. It’s also where most of the quarters are along with the armory,” I answered quickly.

“The armory?”

“Where they keep their weapons. Guns and explosives mostly.”

“To better defend themselves.”

“Yes. To defend themselves against _Trikru_.”

“Us, you mean.”

I smiled and replied, “Yes. Though sometimes it’s hard to remember because I keep getting questioned and she refers to them as my people still.”

“How are you feeling now that you’ve talked about what has happened?”

“Better,” I replied and pulled her down into a kiss.

She deepened the kiss and I lifted her up and carried her back to bed.

That morning, Indra visited me once again and I rolled my eyes at Ava because I knew what she would be questioning me about. I left to train shortly after, but it was cut short when Indra came searching for me. I was about to serve a new purpose and I wasn’t sure I liked what she was asking me to do.

A man had been caught leaving Nyko’s home. He was a traitor for associating with the camp becoming familiar with one of the hundred. Indra took me to an underground room where he was kept. Since he was a traitor, he would be executed using different forms of torture. Since I was the strongest of those left behind, Indra informed me that I had a duty to perform. She instructed me to begin beating him in preparation for the rather painful execution. I balked at the order, but Indra’s glare and stance told me that I had to obey or risk punishment myself. So, I beat the man until I was told to stop. It left me feeling nauseated and like I had somehow betrayed myself. This man had done nothing to me and yet, I beat him. I beat him bloody and broken. What made it worse was that the man seemed to accept his fate and barely made a sound as I beat him except for grunts of pain.

Feeling sickened, I went in search of Nyko to treat my wounds and was surprised that he could not be found. That confused me because he could always be found. So, I treated my knuckles myself and discovered that I had dislocated several of them on my left hand. I growled seeing them and went home to have Ava put them back in place. Ava silently set them and wrapped my knuckles gently and gave me something to drink for the pain I did feel. She also slipped something in that would help me sleep. I glared at her as sleep dragged me down, but she only smiled in sympathy and kissed me as my eyes closed.

I slept through the night and the next morning, Indra walked into my home and told me that several of our villagers had been captured by the Reapers last night as she was exchanging the man I had beat up for Nyko. She wanted me to go with her and a small group to rescue those that had been captured. I acquiesced and found that while I had slept, Ava had gotten the bracer and glove for my arm. She helped me put it on, making sure that it fit snugly and that the glove still gave me enough movement that I could grasp things easily. I gave her a kiss and grabbed the sword and axe I had been given to train with. These were apparently my weapons now and I made sure to take great care of them.

I met up with Indra and the rest of the group that would travel to retrieve those taken. Artigas and I smacked forearms together when we saw each other, earning a glare from Indra. We settled down to plan.

“If you fall down, you get left behind. We gotta stop the raiding party before they reach the tunnels. You all know what happens if we don’t after that it is…,” Indra was saying when she catches sight of someone.

We all glanced up and I was surprised to see Octavia coming down the hill. She glanced at all of us and I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t recognize me.

In English, Octavia said, “You’re going after the Reapers. Lincoln taught me to fight, let me help you.”

I waited tensely for what Indra would say and wasn’t surprised when she ordered, “Kill her.”

Many of our group took off after her, but she gave them the slip. I was kind of relieved to learn that. We headed towards the Reaper tunnels and when we neared, Indra laid out her plan.

“ _The entrance to the tunnel is here. We will ambush them here_ ,” she said, drawing in the ground.

A guy by the name of Penn argued, “ _This is your plan. Tomas is wounded. Artigas is just a boy…_ ”

Artigas countered with, “ _They took my father. I can fight_.”

“ _Can you fight a Reaper?_ ”

“ _Stop_ ,” Indra commanded, switching to English. “We strike from the shadows when they start to feed on our bait.”

“So, I’m the bait,” Artigas complained and I gave him a shake of the head.

“No, you are a warrior,” she said, standing up. “She’s the bait.”

Thinking it was me, I was surprised when she pointed off to the woods and we watched Octavia emerge from behind a small mound. She held her hands out loosely as she walked closer and I had to give her points for looking brave.

“I am not afraid,” Octavia said in a calm voice that I knew was hiding her fear.

“You will be,” Indra countered.

With Octavia in tow, we headed to the southwest tunnel and set up the ambush. It wasn’t long until I got my first glance of the Reapers. The first thing I noticed was their clothing. It was all dyed red. The second thing was the numerous protrusions and piercings that seemed to adorn their heads. They didn’t look all human which I gathered was the point. I shuddered when I remembered that Ava had told me that they feed on human flesh and I could only hope that those they fed on were dead.

Octavia was laid out near the tunnels, lying prone and I admired the strength it took to just lay there unmoving as one of them moved closer to her. I hefted my spear in preparation and when he was near enough, she sprang up and attacked. He blocked but before he attacked, I let loose my spear and impaled him, sending him flying. I widened my eyes, once again struck by the strength of my throw, but quickly recovered and descended on the remaining Reapers. Most of them were taken out by arrows, but I was able to practice what I had been training and took down my first Reaper. Soon it was over and Octavia rushed to the group that were tied to a log. I watched as she desperately snatched the hoods off them, looking for this Lincoln, growing more agitated. The last hood snatched off was Nyko and I sighed in relief to see him there. The others quickly untied those taken and I shared a handshake with Artigas’ father who pulled me into a hug.

“ _I’m glad to see you again_ ,” I said, grinning.

“ _As am I. Thank you for helping_ ,” he replied, his arm wrapping around his son’s shoulders.

I nodded, “ _Of course_.”

Nyko was speaking quietly with Indra, so I decided to let them speak before I welcomed him back. Instead, I walked over to the Reaper I had first impaled. I gauged the distance that my spear had thrown him and it was impressive. He had landed at least ten feet from where he had stood. I placed my foot on his corpse and pulled on the spear. It refused to budge which meant it was wedged either in the ground or him. I jerked the spear back and forth to loosen it and tried again, but the damn thing stayed stuck.

“ _Dammit_ ,” I muttered, stepping back and glaring at the damn thing.

“ _Are you so weak that you cannot pull a spear out of a dead Reaper_ ,” someone said and I looked up to see Penn walking over and laughing at me.

“ _Penn, I threw the damn spear myself from over there_ ,” I said, pointing from the ridge that was about fifty feet or so away. “ _He landed about ten feet from where he was standing. If you think you can pull the fucking spear out, than have it_.”

I stepped further away and watched as he took a stance similar to my first attempt, foot braced against the body. I watched as he took a firm grip and heaved. It remained and he looked back at me in confusion. I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at him, smirking slightly. He growled and tried again, reaching further down the shaft. He pulled again and I could see his veins popping out of his bald head as he strained. It didn’t move and since I hadn’t tried grabbing it further down, I shoved him aside and taking a deep breath, pulled as hard as I could. It came loose in a sudden motion and I staggered back as the body followed the spear before it slid off.

“ _Sonofabitch_ ,” I cried out and kicked it off to the side to see that it had indeed embedded itself in the ground.

I flipped the spear over and shoved the butt of it into the hole. It went in about three feet. I pulled it out and stared down at the hole, glaring at it slightly. I hadn’t realized that Penn and I had gathered a small crowd.

“ _You did it again_ ,” Artigas asked in awe.

“ _Yeah_ ,” I replied, looking up at him.

“ _What’s going on_ ,” Indra asked, stepping forward.

I pointed to the hole next to the corpse and said, “ _I threw the spear hard enough that I sent the Reaper flying from over there and embedded the tip about three feet in the ground_.”

She looked from where she knew I had stood to where the Reaper had stood to where he had landed and then walked over to the hole. She held out her hand and I handed her the spear in question. She inserted it and then looked at me in surprise at how deeply it went.

“ _You see what I mean_ ,” I said, exasperated. “ _I did that to the boar I speared the other day. Same fucking thing. I shouldn’t be strong enough to do that, Indra_.”

“ _Strange indeed, Pakripa_ ,” she said, regarding me curiously. “ _But enough gawking, we must head back before more Reapers appear_.”

“ _Sha, Indra_ ,” I said and began to follow her, but curious as to why she called me by my title and not my name.

Everyone passed Octavia as if they did not see her or if they acknowledged her it was with a sneer. She looked so heartbroken that I stopped next to her, hesitant to console her. She looked up at me in surprise, but before I could say anything, Indra called out to me and shook her head. I sighed, spared her one last glance and then jogged to catch up.

When I came up to Indra, I asked, “Why did you call me _Pakripa_ and why would you not allow me to speak with Octavia, Indra?” 

“The Commander has ordered that you be referred to as your title when you are outside our village. She also does not wish you to speak to any _Skaikru_.” 

Glancing at her in confusion, “Why would she do so?” 

She sighed, “It is because of your knowledge and to keep our village safe.” 

“She does not want to risk retaliation from _Skaikru_ if they find out I am here. That they will believe that I am a prisoner?” 

“That was the case before she ordered the attack on your camp. It may stay the same now that the rest seemed to have come to the ground. It is also because she fears that the Ice Nation will try and take you and use you for their own goals.” 

“And they are the enemy of _Trikru_ , correct?” 

“Yes. They are constantly trying to outmaneuver the Commander. They could use you to sow dissent among the Coalition.” 

“Because she’s allowed me to live and join your clan.” 

“You are very astute,” she said, glancing at me. “You seem to grasp the situation very well.” 

I shrugged, “It’s politics, but bloodier from what I’ve overheard. On the Ark, there were constant attempts from people to gain more power over another. Nothing that could be proven illegal, but it still had the same effects over time. I remember how Chancellor Jaha came to be Chancellor. Those that favored him used information about the lady prior to him to make her look bad and incompetent. So, that when it came time to vote, he won the majority.” 

“You use voting to pick a leader?”

I nodded, “Yes. It’s how it’s always been done. How is it done here?” 

“And your Chancellor is the leader of your people,” she asked for clarification, ignoring my question. 

“That’s correct. There’s the Chancellor and then there’s the Council. All decisions are made by them, including sentencing criminals.” 

“And do you have an army?” 

“Not in the terms you are talking about. The Guards are our policing force. They make sure that the laws are followed. Arrest the lawbreakers, break up fights, and things of that nature. They are the only ones that have any kind of weapons. The most common is the electrified baton. Think of it as something that contains lightning. When you touch it to a person, it overloads our nervous system, what makes us feel, and our muscles, making us drop into convulsions, shakes, and unable to move. You hold it to the person long enough and it will kill them eventually.”

She looked at me shocked as we stopped outside her quarters. The others had already left, leaving the two of us alone for the moment. 

“So, not only do they have rifles, they also have lightning sticks?” 

“And explosives. The batons are used as a deterrent. Meant to stop a person without permanently damaging them. Similar to whipping.” 

“And you are sure that they do not have an army,” she persisted.

“Since I can’t even hazard a guess as to how many people survived, I would say no unless they armed every survivor. Since there are twelve clans that make up the Coalition and I am assuming that they would all respond to a call to arms by the Commander, she would have far superior numbers. Their only advantage is the weapons that they possess.” 

“That’s correct. If she were to send riders to all twelve, they would send their armies to fight a common enemy that threatened the Coalition.”

“And yet, that did not happen with the hundred,” I said, looking at her curiously to find the difference.

“It is because they were only a threat to _Trikru_ that she did not order all, just our people.”

"They left several days by ago, should they not have returned by now?” 

“War takes time, Rook,” she said patiently. “But you are correct, we should have received some word by now. I will look into it.” 

“Of course. Was there anything else you needed me to do before I head home?”

“No. You are free to enjoy the rest of your evening. Do not forget your training in the morning.”

“I will not. Good night, Indra.” 

“Good night, Rook,” she said and entered her quarters.

I headed home and was greeted warmly by Ava. I laid the spear by the door and hung the sword and axe up before I gave her a more deserving embrace and kiss. She sighed happily against me, her head on my chest. 

“I am glad that you returned unharmed, my love,” she said quietly.

“As am I,” I replied. “It was over quickly. We rescued six people. Nyko was one of them.” 

“That is good,” she said and tugged me towards the bed.

I grinned wickedly at her and when we neared, I scooped her up and laid her down gently. I leaned over her and kissed her languidly. She reached up and undid my jacket and tried to shove it off me, but my brace got in the way. I chuckled and removed both before leaning over her again and sliding my hand up her leg, hiking up her dress before my hand settled on her hip, squeezing it gently. I broke our kiss and gently pushing her knees apart knelt between them, pushing the dress up until I exposed her center. I kissed the inside of one knee and then the other, her body shivering. I continued alternating kisses and grazed my teeth against her soft skin occasionally making her moan in pleasure. I watched her as I moved closer and felt myself grow wet as she begun to play with her breasts and bite her bottom lip in anticipation. When I took her in my mouth, her back arched and she let out a low moan. My tongue circled her clit before it drew it into my mouth, making her hiss out. She pulled her nipples taut to the rhythm I was sucking on her clit, occasionally using my teeth, making her buck every time I did. I let her clit go and licked the folds and darting my tongue inside. Her body responded and I soon had her dripping wet. I held her hips down when I inserted my tongue completely and she let out the most beautiful sound. Her hands reached for me and she took my head and forced me closer. I breathed in her heady scent as I obliged her. When I inserted a finger, she tried to buck but I held her firmly down and she arched her back instead. She didn’t like the fact that I held her down as I continued to thrust my finger into her, doubly so when I inserted a second one. When she became more persistent, I increased the pressure and thrust into her more forcefully, my tongue drawing her clit once more into my mouth. She came quickly after that and I pushed her to come again several times before her body couldn’t take it anymore. I gentled my touch as her body continued to spasm as smaller orgasms rocked her body until it stopped. I slid the dress up and over her body as I trailed kisses upwards until I captured her mouth with mine, letting her taste herself on my lips. She moaned tiredly against my mouth and let out a contented sigh. 

I chuckled as I kissed her neck and lifted her gently to place her underneath the covers. She watched me with sleepy eyes as I disrobed and joined her. She snuggled closer to me and fell asleep in my arms. I sighed happily and fell asleep feeling satisfied even though there was still a niggling need of my own.

The next morning, Ava returned the favor and if I didn’t have to train, I would have stayed in bed and memorized how deliciously sated she left me feeling. She laughed as I tried to keep her in bed with me, but she would not stay. I mockingly growled at her but got up and dressed for the day. As I was heading to the training pit, Indra stopped me with a worried expression on her face. I took the time to notice that she only ever revealed her emotions when she neared me.

“What is it, Indra,” I asked, concerned.

She pulled me more to the side, away from everyone and said, “I must head to Polis and speak with the Commander. I sent a scout to the camp and the only dead to be found were outside the camp walls. Inside the walls, everything was burned.”

I stared at her in shock and when I could find my voice, I said, “They used the last of the fuel in the dropship to kill everyone. Did the scout not find any survivors? From either side?”

“No. There was no one except for a message scrawled on the side of the ship. It was addressed to someone by the name of Clarke.”

“That’s the blonde. One of the leaders of the camp,” I answered her unspoken question. “What was in the message?” 

“Directions to another location. I’ve already sent scouts to check it out. It is one of the reasons why I must head to Polis.”

“There is another reason?”

“In the wastelands, a bounty hunter caught a man that fell from the sky. He was brought here,” she said, looking at me a moment. “Come with me.”

I nodded and followed her to a concrete building that had stairs leading down. She stopped short and turned to me, “You will speak no _Gonasleng_ , is that understood. We cannot make it known that we do. It is important.”

“I understand, Indra,” I replied seriously.

She nodded and we continued until we stopped outside a cell that was guarded by a single warrior. With a nod, he opened it and the three of us stepped inside. Indra and I stopped just inside the cell while the guard went and brought the man forward into the light, the better for me to get a look at.

I stopped myself from taking a step back, but I could not help the widening of my eyes in surprise. He was one of the last people I thought I’d ever see again.

Indra asked, “ _Do you know this man_?”

“ _Yes, but if I speak his name, he will know that I am not Trikru._ ” 

“ _Is he important_?”

“ _Yes, he was one of their leaders_.” 

Indra nodded back to the guard and we turned to walk back out. I heard a grunt of pain and we waited until the guard returned, locking the cell door once again. We did not speak until we stepped outside the building.

“Who is he?”

“His name is Thelonious Jaha. He was the Chancellor on the Ark. I don’t know much about him because he had only been elected to office when I was locked up. But the overall impression that I got from the 100 is that he was hated because he strictly enforced the laws. He had ordered the executions of many, many people. A little less than half of the 100 were sent to Lockup after his election.”

“Would you say that he is dangerous?”

“Yes. From what I remember of his election, he orchestrated the former Chancellor’s downfall.”

“Thank you for your input, Rook. Now, I must take my leave and head out immediately. I do not need to remind you not to venture far from the village if you hunt.”

I smiled, “I am not one to forget what you tell me, Indra. You are far too intimidating and I do not wish to get on your bad side.”

She patted my cheek, “It is good that you have not forgotten that. I may like you, but that does not mean I will give you much leeway.”

“I understand. Do not worry. I will obey.”

“Good. We will speak once I return.”

“Yes, Indra,” I said and watched her stride away quickly towards the stables.

I turned and walked over to the training pit and shook my head as I saw Artigas waiting for me impatiently.

“You are late,” he said as I joined him.

“You should still have started,” I countered. “Indra needed to speak with me.”

“Oh, anything good,” he asked as we stood opposite one another.

“That is none of your business, Artigas,” I replied as I attacked him. “What Indra and I speak about is of no concern of yours. Yours should be focused on training.” 

He blocked, but before he could attack, I beat him to it, “I already know that when the two of you speak, it concerns the Sky People, Rook. Everyone’s knows this.”

I countered his attack and body checked him, making him stumble backwards, “Be that as it may, Artigas, you will find no answers from me.”

“Understood,” he replied and we lapsed into silence as we continued to spar.

When I’d beaten him three out of the five bouts, he called it quits and turned to work on his archery. I searched the pit for another opponent and grinned when I saw Penn standing by watching. I motioned him over as I went over to the weapons rack and threw him a staff. We stood across from one another and began improving my staff fighting. It was much different from fighting with swords and worked an entirely different set of muscles. By the time I called it quits, I had landed more times on my back than I wanted to admit, but he was easy enough about it. We clasped forearms and headed in different directions. I stretched my back out and rubbed my shoulders as I made my way home to grab a quick bite to eat before I headed over to Nyko’s.


	7. Chapter 7

Two days later, I headed into the forest to do some hunting after my training session. I let Ava know that I may not return until morning and she was quick to remind me of the rules Indra had placed on me. We spent an hour making sure that I would return and then I headed into the forest.

I walked quietly as I took in the scenery, noting that most of the forest was laying dormant. It meant that the smaller animals and some of the larger were already near to hibernation. It would be difficult to find them, but I hoped that I would at least bring some meat back to the village and not return empty handed. I found a few bushes with last minute berries and set traps to see if I could get any rabbits and scratched my personal symbol on a nearby tree so that I would not forget where I had lain the traps. In the time I had been in Tondc, I had gotten much better at not getting lost and it was a good feeling. It meant that I could let my mind wonder a bit and I spent the rest of the day thinking about Ava as I searched for any large animal tracks. Something that I could snag with my spear since I could not use a bow. I came across some deer scat and began searching the ground for its tracks as I thought about her.

I had already told her that I loved her and as time had moved on, I was falling deeper and deeper in love. I was to the point that I could easily spend the rest of my life with her and it left me wondering what the custom was to become real partners. Spouses. It was something that I would have to speak with Nyko about when I returned. 

I spent most of the daylight following the deer’s trail and when I came across it, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it had joined a herd. I eyed some of the bucks and my eyes lighted on the one with largest antler rack. He was my goal and I walked carefully around the herd, making sure that I stayed downwind of them. I climbed a tree that would give me a clear shot from one of the low, thick branches. Eagerly, I aimed for its heart and when I was sure, I threw with all my might. It struck true, killing it instantly and pinning it to the ground as the herd panicked and ran, crying out. I waited until the last of their cries could no longer be heard to climb out of the tree. Tying a rope around its hind legs, I hauled it to the tree I had been in and hefted it until its antlers hung a foot from the ground. The position placed its throat around eye level and cut it open to allow the blood to drain. I stepped away a bit and sat against a nearby tree and admired the rack. It was at least four feet across and had many branches. It was impressive and I wondered what I could do with it. It was mine by right since I had brought it down, but I didn’t have a clue as to what one would do with a set of antlers.

I got back up when the blood had fully drained and finished field dressing it. I quickly built a stretcher and laid it on it, tying it down so that it would not fall off over the rough terrain. I headed out, but had to stop when twilight began to fall. I set up camp and hauled it high in a tree to keep it from any predators that may be attracted to the remnants of blood that could be scented and settled down for the night. 

At dawn, I set out again and stopped by the traps I had set and removed all that I had caught. I didn’t dress them because I wanted to return to the village before Ava could worry more than she would. I was thinking that maybe I could persuade someone to make jewelry out of the antlers or something along those lines when I heard gunfire ahead of me. I dropped the stretcher and ran towards the sound because it was coming from the village. I worried that someone had found out that we held Jaha and they were coming to get him, but I skidded to a halt just outside the village on a little rise and watched in horror as Artigas was shot down. My heart seized in my chest when Ava jumped the enclosure she had been in and began to run to him to only be shot.

I screamed, drawing everyone’s attention and looked wildly about for the shooter. I spun my spear around when I saw him, my mind barely recognizing that it was Finn, and launched it with a mighty heave. As the spear left my hand, I felt bullets pierce my shoulder, driving me back and into the ground. Disregarding the pain in my shoulder, I scrambled up and began running down the hill, rage blinding me and a guttural roar leaving my lips. I didn’t care if I was about to die, but I was damn sure that I would take him with me. I didn’t get a chance to exact my revenge before I was tackled to the ground and held forcibly down. I struggled against whoever held me down, yelling obscenities in both languages at Finn. I was nearly free when I felt a sharp pain along my temple and then I knew no more.

I woke up in a darkened room and the moment I moved my shoulder, screaming in pain. A figure shot up and immediately came to me. It was Nyko and the look on his face brought the memories back and I immediately started sobbing. He pulled me to his chest and I sobbed into it, saying “she’s gone” over and over again until I was hoarse and no more tears were left. He eased me back down, my body nothing more than pain and got me something to drink. I knew it was for the pain and that it would make me sleep. I drained it eagerly because I did not want to be awake in a world that did not have Ava in it.


	8. Chapter 8

Something changed within me that night as I slept the sleep of the drugged. When I woke up, I felt nothing except a slow burning rage. Finn would die for what he had done. He will wish for death before I ever give it to him. He will wish that he had died in the fires that consumed the lives of my fellow warriors. I would make sure he burned in hell for all eternity for killing my Ava.

Nyko tried to keep a close eye on me, noticing my change, but I had been successful escaping his ever-watchful eye several times. Unfortunately, each time I had been caught trying to sneak out of the village and was forcibly dragged back to Nyko where I had to be forced to drink more of the tea that made me sleep. The last time it happened, they did not take me to Nyko’s, instead they took me to the concrete building and threw me in a cell. Nyko looked at me sadly as I charged the door trying to get out.

“This is for your own safety, Rook,” he said apologetically. “We cannot afford to lose you as well.”

“Fuck you, Nyko,” I screamed at him. “Fuck you! Fuck, Indra! Fuck, the fucking Commander! Fuck, _Skaikru_! Fuck, Everyone! I will kill Finn if it’s the last thing I do! Mark my words, that boy will die by my blade!”

He turned around abruptly and I screamed at his retreating back. With one last shake of the cell door, which groaned at my exertion, I stalked to a far corner that was shrouded in shadow. I don’t know how long I sat there until my anger left me exhausted and I fell asleep curled into a ball.

I was kept in that cell until I was weak with hunger and dying of thirst. I no longer had the energy to yell and scream. No longer was there energy to do nothing more than stare dully at the cell door as I waited to be released. Nyko had been successful in derailing my drive to leave the village and hunt for Finn. Later that day, the cell door opened and Nyko entered cautiously with a plate of food and a pitcher of water. The door closed behind him, the guard locking it as he looked around the room. I got up and stepped out of the shadows and walked over to him.

“I’ve brought you food and water,” he said, showing me what was in his hands.

I took them without saying a word and sat down promptly to begin eating. I remembered my lessons from the Ark and ate slowly so that I wouldn’t sicken from eating too quickly. He crouched in front of me, but I stared down at the plate ignoring him.

“Indra has returned with the Commander,” he told me and I nodded absently.

“The Commander has already sent riders to the twelve nations. His crimes will not go unpunished. All of _Skaikru_ will pay for what he has done.”

I nodded again, not really caring at this point.

I had finally finished eating and drained the last of the water from the pitcher before I stood up and walked away from him. He sighed and gathered the dishes. 

Before he left, he said, “They will want to speak with you soon.”

I didn’t answer, just sat back down in my corner and closed my eyes. I heard him sigh again and the door opening and closing before it became completely silent. I must have fallen asleep because the sound of the door opening made me snap my eyes open. I watched as Indra stepped into the cell followed by a young woman with captivating green eyes and a commanding presence that demanded obedience immediately.

“Rook, come out of the shadows,” Indra ordered as she looked at me.

I sighed in frustration at being disturbed, but complied nonetheless. When I came out of the shadows, Indra’s eyes widened in shock. I must not have been looking very well if she could not hide her reaction from me.

She cleared her throat as she gained her composure and said, “Rook, this is Commander Lexa.”

I bowed my head and said with a voice still hoarse, “ _Heda_ , it is an honor.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment but looked me over from head to toe. I still wore the same clothing from the day that I had went hunting. It still bore the blood of the buck I had killed along with my own from when I had been shot.

“I am sorry for your loss, Rook,” she said, her voice low and husky.

“Thank you,” I replied. “You wished to speak with me?”

“That can wait for a moment. Nyko has told us that you have tried to leave the village several times to hunt after the boy.”

I nodded, not speaking in an attempt to keep the memories from the last few days at bay.

“I want to know if you will try to leave the village again if you are let out of this cell.”

“I will not,” I answered. “I do not have the energy nor the will to leave.”

This seemed to hit Indra hard and I glanced at her before I returned my attention to the Commander.

She nodded and without a second glance, she turned and the guard opened the door. Indra gave me one last glance before she turned as well. I stood there watching as they left and followed when I realized that I had been released. I walked slowly back to my home, knowing that it would be empty but still smell of Ava. I leaned my head against the door for a moment before I entered. Someone had brought a washing tub and filled it with hot water in anticipation of my return. I shed my clothes, leaving them where they lay and climbed into the tub. My muscles relaxing as the heat seeped into me. I hadn’t realized that I’d been cold until my body reacted to the water. I leaned back and closed my eyes, soaking. When the water had cooled sufficiently, I bathed myself and made sure that I washed my hair. There was clean clothing laid out for me and after I dried and braided my hair, I dressed. I gathered the clothing I had worn and after one last look threw them in the fire and watched them burn before I headed to the bed. I crawled under the covers and pulled them tight against me, smelling Ava as I fell asleep again.

I was awoken by someone shaking my shoulder. For a moment, I thought that the hand belonged to Ava, so I reached up to grab it, it felt wrong and I spun around quickly, tightening my grip on the wrist and shoving the person onto the bed with my other hand around their throat. There was a strangled cry and I blinked my eyes a few times to focus on the person below me. I backed quickly away when I saw that it was Ava’s mother.

“I’m sorry,” I stammered, stepping further into the room and making sure the woman would have plenty of room to get up.

She sat up cautiously, rubbing her neck as she looked at me. There was sympathy in her face and I knew that she missed Ava just as much as I did. On impulse, I walked back up to her and drew her into a tight embrace that she eagerly returned. We cried silently over the woman we had both loved and when I felt my control return, I let go of her reluctantly. We sat there silently as we wiped away our tears.

I turned my head to look at the woman and asked, “Does the Commander wish to speak with me now?”

She jumped slightly, hearing my voice but answered readily, “Yes, they sent me to get you. You should wash up before you head over there. I’ll take you when you are done.”

“Thank you,” I said and gave her another hug.

I stood up and walked over to the basin and filled it with water. I washed the remaining tears from my face and swished out my mouth to remove the foulness that had collected there while I slept since I had nothing to brush my teeth with. She was waiting by the door and after I donned my jacket against the chill, she escorted me to the Commander’s quarters. She left me there as the guard knocked and waited for the command to enter. When we heard a voice giving it, he opened the door and with a nod allowed me entrance. I walked in, glancing around subtly and noticed that the walls were adorned with maps of the area. I would have liked to have studied them further, but the Commander’s very presence drew my eye and I stopped a few feet in front of her and bowed my head, waiting politely before I spoke.

“How are you faring,” she asked, looking at me curiously.

“Cleaner, _Heda_ ,” I replied with a small quirk of my lips.

I was rewarded with a ghost of a smile and she inclined her head for me to take a seat. Sitting, I shifted until I was somewhat comfortable and glanced down at the map that was laid out in between us. It appeared that the place where the Ark survivors had gathered was near a large lake and someone had drawn a ring surrounded by another with the lake as the back end. If the shape was an indication, they had gathered at Alpha Station.

“You wished to speak with me, _Heda_ ,” I asked when I glanced up at her.

She seemed startled by my gaze and I wondered briefly what she had seen in my face to warrant such a reaction.

“Yes,” she said. “I was hoping you had any more information about what we could encounter with _Skaikru_.”

I nodded and replied, “I’m not sure how much more I can tell you, _Heda_. I was fourteen when I was imprisoned. So, I do not know much about the current command structure or who would be leading them. I can’t even tell you how many guards they may possibly have.”

“You told Indra that they have guns, explosives, and something she called a lightning stick.”

I smiled at the term and replied, “Yes. That’s true. They wouldn’t have much else in terms of weapons. Is this a fence around the station they have gathered at?”

“Yes,” she said frowning. “It doesn’t seem very well designed to keep people out.”

“What do you mean,” I asked leaning back.

She pushed a drawing towards me and I leaned forward to pick it up. I studied the picture and I saw her confusion. It didn’t look like much, but I knew exactly what it was.

I laid the drawing back down on the table and said, “The fence is electrified. Like the lightning sticks. If you touch it, it will send you flying backwards or lock you in place. There is probably enough of it going through that it’ll kill any that come in contact with it or just below that. The only way to avoid that would be to use wood against it. The cables that run across the posts will be drawn tight and will not give easily. Without any adequate protection, any that try to rush the gate will be killed by the guns. And the only adequate protection would be metal, thick metal.”

She nodded her face frowning, “Is there anything else you can tell me that might be helpful?”

I sighed and closed my eyes in thought as I tried to remember anything, but the only thing that I could think about was the explosives, so I opened my eyes and looked at her, “If they have time to plan a defense, they will use the explosives around the perimeter. I’m not sure what kind they would be though.”

“There are different kinds,” she asked, her eyes going wide.

I nodded, “There are. There are some called mines. They explode when something passes over them or trips over a wire. Some of them will explode outward and the force will be what kills you. Others will have things inside and as it explodes, the force pushes the things outward in a wider arc, hurting more people. There are grenades, which can be thrown. Bombs, which can be set up so that they go off at a certain time or remotely detonated. The mines are extremely hard to get around because they are hidden in the ground. You can throw something ahead of you and see if it will trigger something, but it’s not foolproof. You’d have to sacrifice warriors in order to get rid of them, truthfully.”

She nodded, “And at the same time avoid their guns.”

“Right. It would cost hundreds of lives just to get them to use up their ammunition and since I don’t know how much they have, it could cost you thousands.”

She paled at the thought and looked down at the map again. I sat silently as she thought and my eyes wandered over to the map that was on the wall. It looked like it was a map of the twelve clans with their current borders. The predominant one was _Azgeda_. Their territory was huge and based on their name, it was very cold up there. I tried to recall what I had learned about the United States prior to the end of the world and remembered that it was usually much colder the further north you traveled. Where we were, was in the middle and it appeared that the seasons still functioned in much the same way. It also meant the land was more fertile which could be the reason why _Azgeda_ was constantly at war with _Trikru_.

“What are you thinking about, Rook,” she asked suddenly.

I blushed as I looked at her and answered, “I was recalling what I could about the land here before _Praimfaya, Heda._ Seeing how large _Azgeda_ territory is and remembering that the land is more prone to cold, I can understand why they would constantly be at war with _Trikru_.”

“What do you mean?”

I sat up straighter and said, “The land here is more fertile whereas north, it’s not. So, _Azgeda_ has trouble growing crops and have to rely on other clans to provide them with it. Most of the land is probably uninhabitable which keeps them to certain areas, making the land that they actually reside over much smaller than what’s on the map.”

“You can see all that from a map?”

“And remembering that the further north you go, the colder it gets whereas the further south, the warmer it gets. _Trikru_ lands are in the middle which allows it to experience seasons. This allows a wider variety of foods to be grown because the weather changes more slowly.”

“Which means that not only is _Azgeda_ trying to become more powerful, they’re trying to keep their people fed without relying on outside help.”

“That’s right. There’s usually more than one reason why a war is started or why there are continuing conflicts between groups.”

“So, how would you handle it,” she asked curiously.

“Without knowing more about what’s going on between the two clans, the obvious answer is to take out the leadership. Every last one of them. Eliminate any that had ties with them and probably absorb the rest into the other nations, eradicating _Azgeda_ all together.”

“That seems harsh.”

I shrugged, “It would be bloody and messy, but it would be effective.”

“Even though they are part of the Coalition and have agreed to the conditions of remaining within it?”

“They can’t really want to be a part of it if they do not accept that the current Commander is _Trikru_ , don’t you think?”

She nodded, “You’re very astute with the limited knowledge you have been given. They have long been a thorn in _Trikru’s_ side and I do not see an end to the conflict with them.”

“Thank you and you are probably right.”

“Rook, Ava’s death will be avenged,” she said, quietly. “As well as the seventeen others who were murdered by that boy.”

I snapped my attention back to her and stared at her to figure out where she was suddenly going with her statement, but I couldn’t figure it out, so I just nodded.

“Do you believe me?”

“Do I have reason to doubt you,” I countered, maybe a bit more coldly than I had intended.

“No, you do not,” she replied after she had schooled her features.

“Then I trust you, _Heda_ ,” I told her. “Was there anything else you wished to question me about?”

She caught on that I was done speaking and shook her head, “No. I cannot think of any more questions that you haven’t already provided answers to. You are dismissed.”

“Thank you, _Heda_ ,” I said, standing up and bowing before I left the room.

I thought I heard her mumble about being stupid, but wasn’t sure, as I closed the door behind me. I headed directly back to my home and entered it, leaning against the door as my emotions threatened to consume me once again. I took some deep breaths, letting them out slowly and when I opened my eyes, saw a pot hanging over the fire. Sniffing the air, it smelled like it contained food. I walked over and picking up a poker pulled it away from the fire to look inside. It was a stew with meat. I grabbed a bowl and ladled some into it. I poured a cup of whatever was in the pitcher that had been left on the table and sat down to eat. It was a deer stew and I found it flavorful and filling. I knew that it had been Ava’s mother that had cooked for me and I was grateful for it. Especially, since I had no idea how to cook. The pitcher was full of something alcoholic and as I ate a second bowl, it quickly emptied. My mind was fuzzy and my limbs heavy by the time I was done with the pitcher and with great concentration, I banked the fire and covered the rest of the stew before I crawled into bed fully clothed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that italicized words are in Trigedasleng. So, if you see an English dialogue, they are speaking in Trig. It's only done when _Skaikru_ are around. If it's not, assume they are speaking Trig to one another.

The next morning after a breakfast of leftover stew, I headed to the training pit. Since I didn’t feel like sparring with anyone, I looked over the weapons racks and gathered several of the spears, knives, and axes that were there. The knives and axes went into several buckets and as I carried them over to the targets, I laid each of them in front of a target. I went back over to the racks and looked at the other axes contemplatively. There was a niggling idea in the back of my mind and I wanted to try something, so I grabbed one of the war axes with a double blade, hefted it in my hands and noted that there was a heavy weight to it.

I slammed it into the ground and took a stance in front of the target. I leaned down and extracted an axe from the bucket. I shifted my grip until it felt right in my hand and with an overhanded throw sent it flying towards the target. Without thinking and without waiting for the first axe to land, I had a second one soon after it. I wasn’t thinking other than picturing each axe landing on the target as close to the center as I could. I only stopped when I realized that I had run out of the smaller axes. My eyes focused on the target, now full of axes tightly clustered together near the center. I hefted the war axe out of the ground with a jerk and took a few steps forward because I wasn’t sure if I’d make it to the target with the additional weight of the axe. I raised it over my head using both arms and swung it experimentally, getting used to the weight and how it moved. When I was sure, I let it fly with a mighty grunt. When it landed with a satisfying thunk, I found out that it had landed dead center and that the weight of the impact had nearly cleaved the target in half. I looked at it dumbly for a moment and decided to leave it like that until I was done with the knives and spears because I wanted to compare each of them. I moved over to the knives and once more concentrated on getting them as close to the center as possible. When I was done, I didn’t bother to look at the target and instead moved onto the spears. 

This time and way more sure of myself, it left my mind to think on something that had bothered me after my conversation with the Commander last night. The situation between Skaikru and the Coalition could be seen as something rather dire. Skaikru had, to me, a serious advantage because of the types of weapons they possessed that were both offensive and defensive. The Coalition’s army, though with far superior numbers, did not have the experience fighting against such tactics beyond small skirmishes with the Mountain Men. As a spear flew, I thought that there should have been a first encounter between the two groups and I wondered what their reactions had been. Probably fear was the most predominant because neither group knew that the other had existed. Deaths of the Mountain Men had to have been extensive before they realized that they needed the suits in order to leave the safety of the bunker, which meant they suddenly became terrifying creatures to the ones on the outside. If that was the case, the usual response was to get rid of said creatures or drive them back into the Mountain and hope that would end the threat and they could all breathe easier. So, my thought because there was a similarity between the two situations, what had that Commander done at the time to force them back into the Mountain and keep their fighting to only small skirmishes.

“The First Battle of the Mountain,” a voice said with astonishment.

The voice had startled me enough that my throw sent the spear off target and with wide eyes, sent if flying past and towards someone walking behind the targets. I mentally cursed the the idiot and yelled out, rather authoritatively for him to stop and drop, which he immediately did and the spear sailed over the spot that he had been moments before. I ran over towards the man, intent of cursing him out when I felt a sharp stab of pain in the middle of my forehead, nearly staggering me to my knees with it. I grunted from the pain and regaining my footing, continued on my way.

When I was in yelling distance, the man looked wildly at me and I yelled out, “What the fuck were you thinking, you fucking idiot! Didn’t anyone teach you to never walk behind targets?! I could have killed you!”

He cowered as I continued my tirade, berating him for his stupidity and overconfidence that those using the targets wouldn’t miss.

“ _Pakripa_ ,” he stuttered out fearfully when I had taken a pause to breathe. “I apologize for my actions. I have never seen you miss a target and because of that, I assumed it was safe to pass through since it is the fastest way across without having to circle the entirety of the pit.”

I felt a rush of anger that didn’t feel like my own, stopping me cold in my words as it distracted me enough to figure out where it had been coming from.

“You imbecile,” a voice yelled out, making me turn my head sharply and watched as the Commander bore down on both of us. “Never make assumptions like that! Even the best warrior can have an off day! You are damn lucky that she saw her throw off course and called out! You are also damn lucky that your body reacted instantly to her commands!”

The man cowered further under her tirade and I looked at her in shock when I realized that it had been her voice that had spoken in the first place which had caused my aim to veer.

“It’s your fault that my throw went off course, _Heda_ ,” I accused angrily, my attention on her. “If you hadn’t spoken suddenly, my spear would have landed true.”

“What are you talking about,” she looked at me, angry that I had spoken to her in such a manner. “I was no where near you.”

“So, you’re saying that it wasn’t your voice saying, ‘first battle of the mountain?!”

She looked at me stunned and I again felt an emotion that wasn’t my own and the sharp pain erupted across my forehead again.

I bent over, squeezing my eyes shut at the pain and cried out, “Fuck!”

I didn’t realize that she had done the same thing. When the pain had passed, I stood up slowly, breathing hard and looked at her, confused. She was just as confused and was rubbing the middle of her forehead. The man had taken our momentary distraction to get away from both of us. Probably glad to be out from both of our anger.

Without a word, I walked over to where my spear had embedded itself into the wooden wall behind the targets. This time it was only about six inches deep and came out easily, my mind barely noticing that the distance was probably close to two hundred feet or more from where I had stood.

“Two hundred feet,” she said, her voice sounding surprised.

I turned abruptly and looked at here and said, “I was just thinking that. How did you know that I was thinking that?”

“I didn’t say anything out loud,” she said, scowling at me. “I said that to myself. In my head.”

I shook my head in confusion and walked over to the target and was about to start pulling out the spears, but she stopped me. I looked over at her questioningly.

“Someone had said that you were throwing axes at a target,” she explained. “I was walking through the village and some of the warriors had started to jog over here. Indra had briefly told me of what she had seen when you threw your spear at the Reaper.”

“You wanted to see if there was any truth behind her words,” I said in understanding.

She nodded, eying me warily now and I said, “Well, here’s your answer, _Heda_.”

I turned to look at the target and saw that most of the spears had gone nearly halfway through and were all clustered tightly together. Some of them so close that they were touching and slightly askew. She walked closer and examined the target closely, the tilt of her head telling me that she was thinking. Without a word, she then headed over to the next target and I followed her. The knives were all hilt deep and they had completely covered the colored circle indicating the center. She gave me a sharp look and I could only shrug. We walked over to the axes which gave me a chance to look closely at the damage I had done. The axe had actually gone through the target and landed in a tree that was directly behind it. She looked at the target and then walked over to the axe in the tree. It was embedded solidly and I could already tell that it was going to take a great effort to get it out of the tree and that a crack had run up and down from the impact.

“Have you ever thrown an axe this size,” she asked, looking at me.

I shook my head, “No. This was the first time. I was curious to see if I could, so I decided to give it a try.”

“And this was the result,” she asked, her voice in wonder.

Again, emotions not my own erupted across my mind and this time it seemed to come from multiple sources. I grimaced at the pain and shook my head slowly to clear it. Of course, she misinterpreted the movement and her hands strayed to her hips in annoyance.

I cleared my throat and said quickly, “This is the result, _Heda_. I was shaking my head because of a pain that hit me.”

“Pain,” she repeated, stepping to me closer.

“Yes. In the middle of my forehead. It’s hit me several times already.”

“In the middle of your forehead?”

“Yes. Can you please stop repeating everything I just said. It’s rather annoying.”

She flushed and stepped even closer and said, “You told me that I said, ‘first battle of the mountain,’ correct?”

“Yes, and you said that you were no where near me at the time,” I replied, tilting my head at her.

“I think we need to speak privately.”

“Okay. Let me put everything up first and then we can talk,” I said, turning around and walking up to the tree.

She was about to stop me when I gave a mighty jerk and as the axe came out, the crack widened and spread further apart. I stepped back to admire it and felt a rush of shocked confusion. The pain erupted again and I leaned against the tree, breathing through the pain.

“God _dammit_ ,” I said. “That fucking hurts.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see her with a similar look of pain on her face.

She said, “Leave it. We need to have this talk immediately.”

She signaled several of the men standing around and instructed them to begin to remove everything from the targets. I handed the axe to a man nearby and he stumbled under the weight. He looked at me surprised. I saw that he wasn’t exactly small and should have been able to handle the weight of it easily. I shook my head at my sense of bewilderment and she looked at me sharply. She crooked her finger and I followed her.

We didn’t speak until we entered her quarters and she immediately went and poured both of us drinks. She handed one to me and then drank from her cup as she leaned against the table she was using as a desk. We regarded each other silently as I took a drink and leaned against the table that held the pitcher.

“So, I’m here. What is on your mind,” I asked.

She looked down at the cup in her hand and took another drink before she answered, “As I was walking through the village, I suddenly thought about our dealings with the Mountain Men. The Spirit of the Commander who dealt with their initial meeting spoke of the battle between them. It’s called the First Battle of the Mountain.”

I looked at her in shock and said, “That is not something I would have known. I know absolutely nothing of your history.”

She nodded, “I thought so. When I neared the training pit, I felt such a sharp pain in the middle of my forehead that I had to stop until it passed.”

“Then I accused you of speaking suddenly because it was your voice that startled me and caused me to miss the target,” I said, looking at her in growing confusion. “When I spoke those words, I felt an emotion that wasn’t my own, _Heda_. I was angry, not shocked and that was what I felt before the pain hit me again.”

“Which happened to me. I thought I had heard you speak aloud about the fact that the spear had been thrown from at least two hundred feet away, but you said that you only thought it. Right?”

I nodded slowly, “When we got to the war axe, I suddenly felt a lot of emotions like they were coming from multiple people and again I felt the pain. I felt a rush of confusion that wasn’t my own again because I was actually admiring the crack spreading. Pain again and I finally saw that you were bearing a similar look on your face.”

“Now, we’re here,” she said, sighing and drained the last of her drink and set the cup on the table with a thump.

“What did Indra tell you about the Reaper,” I asked her, taking a drink.

“She said that the spear had thrown the Reaper a good distance and that it had embedded itself several feet in the ground.”

“Did she tell you that both Nyko and I agreed that I shouldn’t have been able to do that. Not based on the condition I was brought here nor the fact that I was still new to weapons training.”

She gave me a sharp look and inhaled quickly, “No. She was proud of the fact that the village had been right to bring you in and adopt you. I had been harboring thoughts about you because of where you came from and I thought it foolish to trust you even if you did bring down the Bounstoka.”

At the mention of the Bounstoka, I recalled my conversation with Ava and after feeling a pang of grief, I focused on it. There was another shot of pain and I looked over at her and saw the same expression.

“I’m sorry that Ava’s death is hurting you so, Rook,” she apologized.

I only nodded and said, “I was recalling a conversation I had with her after I had impaled a boar with similar force. No, I take it back. I had the conversation with Nyko because a boar had gashed my left arm and I hadn’t felt it until the blood loss affected me. We spoke about the fact that it should have taken me many months to even build up to that kind of strength, plus the fact that I healed quicker than he anticipated. It got me thinking about the changes that probably occurred to people after coming out of the ground and being exposed to the changed atmosphere.”

“What does that mean?”

“After _Praimfaya_ , it’s a guarantee that the air that your ancestors began breathing in and being around became different from before. I’m not going to explain the whole thing, but because of the change, your ancestors’ bodies changed to adapt to the new normal. The same thing happened to my ancestors from being more exposed to the sun. I surmised that it is possible that our bodies changed in ways that could include a faster healing rate. Only now, I’m not so sure that’s the case.”

“Explain,” she said as she picked up her cup and held it out to me for a refill.

I obliged her and continued, “From what I got from the villagers about the White Wolf, it wasn’t like a normal wolf. Far larger and acted more intelligently. It successfully avoided traps set out to catch it and seemed to actually trigger them when it came across them.” I paused to drain my cup and refilled it before I continued, “Throughout history there have been stories told and written about people that take on the attributes of wolves and sometimes turn into either a wolf or a wolf/human hybrid after being bitten by someone with the same affliction. It’s been the work of fiction but there have been cultures that believed that if they killed and ate parts of a wolf then they would take on the attributes of the wolf to make them better warriors.”

“I’m still not grasping what you’re meaning,” she said as she thought about what I had just said.

I sighed and said, “I have strength that I should not have. I heal faster than I should. It’s been also written that both wolves and werewolves, people who can transform into wolves or the hybrids, can speak to one another without actually speaking. You and I seem to be experiencing something similar. We are hearing each other’s voices when neither of us speak. I’m feeling emotions that are not my own. I have a feeling that you are experiencing that too.”

“If I am understanding you right,” she said carefully. “When you fought the _Bounstoka_ you gained the attributes of it. I didn’t fight it, so how can I suddenly develop an attribute?”

“Because I consider you my leader,” I said, smiling slightly. “As such, you have ultimate authority over me. If we were part of a pack of wolves, you’d be pack leader and I’d have to follow your orders because I’m a subordinate. I think it developed because I finally met you and we spent some time alone together last night.”

“So, you’re saying that the _Bounstoka_ wasn’t really a wolf, but something else?”

“Theoretically, yes. As impossible, improbable as it seems, it’s the only thing I can think of to explain everything.”

“You do know that all of this makes you sound crazy,” she said, looking at me curiously.

I nodded, “I know, and I agree. I do sound crazy. I just don’t have a better answer except that a wolf changed when it was born and developed the ability to pass on it’s power along with being larger and smarter than the average wolf.”

“So, do you have any idea of what we do now?”

I shrugged, “We keep the telepathy to ourselves and learn how not to react when we hear each other’s thoughts.”

“Telepathy?”

“It’s the word to describe what’s happening between us. We can hear each other’s thoughts, emotions, and possibly speak to each other without actually having to utter a single word aloud.”

“Fuck,” she said, clearly exasperated. “And I thought taking the Flame and having the voices of the past Commanders was a lot to take in.”

“The Flame,” I asked and knowing that it was my time to be confused.

“The Flame holds the Spirits of the past Commanders. When a natblida wins the conclave, they receive the Flame and become the next Commander. It’s how our leaders are chosen. The Spirits guide the current Commander.”

“If that’s true, that explains the multiple emotions I felt that one time. I felt their spirits react to what was happening.”

“You’re joking, right?”

I shook my head and said, “I wish I was. God, this is so fucking weird. Fall from the sky and get bitten by a supernatural creature. This is grounds for a good fictional novel.”

She laughed and her feeling of amusement tickled my mind, now that I could associate the foreign emotions as coming from her. My mind took on another course and I wondered briefly what it would feel like if either of us climaxed during sex.

She looked at me sharply and blushed slightly, earning a smirk from me, “Sorry. My mind wonders sometimes.”

She shook her head and said, “Let’s hope that we never find out. That could be very discomforting to feel at the wrong moment.”

I laughed, “Let’s hope distance weakens the bond we share then.”

“Now that we’ve got this settled, I have to say that I am very impressed with your strength,” she said, moving to sit behind the table. “I’ve never seen something like that.”

“And now that we know the answer, you probably will never again,” I replied.

She shook her head, “You can leave now. I still have a war to win. But before you go, you will be accompanying me to their camp when we leave. Like I told you, Ava’s death will be avenged and I will give you the chance to exact it.”

I bowed my head and said, “Thank you for that. I hope that it’ll give me some closure and allow me to move on.”

“That is the purpose of it. Do you know who it was?”

“It’s a boy named Finn. He was imprisoned for wasting a month’s worth of oxygen. I think he may have escaped the fate of whatever happened to the survivors since he was looking for them, thinking it was us that took them and possibly killed them.”

“You believe that it was the Mountain Men who took them,” she asked in surprise.

“The explosion at the bridge could not have gone unnoticed by them. Nor the last of the rocket fuel used at the dropship. They would have been drawn out to figure out what was happening. It makes sense.”

“Why would the Mountain Men take the survivors?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know. What do they do with the people they do not turn into Reapers?”

“That I do not know.”

“Have to love questions,” I said. “I’ll leave you to plan the war. The distance will be good for us anyways.”

“Indeed. I’ll send someone when we finalize the plan and decide when to leave.”

“Of course,” I said and took my leave.

I headed to the communal mess since I didn’t think that Ava’s mother would have thought to feed me again before I headed home with the food in my hands. I met Indra waiting for me outside my home and ushered her in before me. She sat down on a chair and I joined her at the table.

“Excuse me for eating in front of you, but I find myself rather hungry after this morning,” I said, pouring both of us something to drink.

“It’s fine,” she replied. “You have greatly impressed the warriors that are gathering for the war with your skill in the training pit, Rook. You are easing their concern over having a Sky Girl in our presence.”

“Which justifies your actions in adopting me into your clan,” I said with a smile.

“It does indeed. I am prone to distrust.”

“Hmm,” was all I said as I chewed.

“Why were you speaking with the Commander?”

“An incident occurred and we both felt that it needed to be discussed more privately. It’s been resolved.”

“The man you nearly impaled.”

I nodded, “Among other things. The Commander was also impressed with my skill.”

“You and the Commander seem to be getting along well enough,” she said, looking at me intently.

I snorted at the look on her face and replied, “You were not expecting that.”

She glared at me and said, “No, especially after the loss of 300 of her warriors.”

“You thought that she would take her anger out on me which would have looked bad on you.”

She looked abashed and briefly lowered her eyes and said, “That was my thought.”

“I don’t think less of your for thinking that. It’s the right thought to have after everything that’s happened. Luckily, it’s not something you have to worry about.”

I felt a rush of annoyance and realized that it wasn’t coming from me, which meant it was from the Commander and that she was nearby. I took a moment and decided to try if I could speak to her telepathically and thought towards her, “I can feel you, Commander. You’re awfully close to me.”

I felt a surge of surprise and after a pause, I heard her say, “I’m looking for Indra and I cannot find her.”

“She’s here with me in my home,” I thought to her.

I felt gratitude and had to school my features to feign surprise when I heard a knock on the door. I got up and answered it and smiled slightly seeing her. I bowed and opened the door to allow her in.

“Commander,” Indra said, seeing her and standing up. “Were you looking for me?”

“I was,” she replied. “We are beginning the war council and I need your input.”

“Of course. My apologies, Commander,” she said and with a nod in my direction they left together.

I closed my door and sighed, shaking my head at this new development. It was going to take some getting used to. Feeling tired, I stripped off my clothes and laying them neatly on the chair, I crawled under the furs and fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up to the pounding on my door and because it sounded urgent, I wasn’t thinking when I opened it. I took a step back at seeing the Commander’s eyes widen in shock and her swallow thickly. I glanced down at myself and said, “Fuck” before turning abruptly around, leaving the door open for her to come in as I quickly began getting dressed. I felt an unfamiliar sensation run down my spine, making me shiver pleasantly and I turned to look at her sharply.

The look on her face was one of appreciation and I said, “Seriously, Commander?”

She looked up at my face in embarrassment and said, “My apologies, Rook. It’s been awhile since I’ve taken anyone to bed.”

I shook my head and pulled my shirt on before I turned around to look at her. She relaxed slightly and I could still see her blushing as I sat on the bed, rubbing my face.

“Well, I don’t think that’s the reason why you were pounding on my door so urgently, Commander.”

“Um, no,” she said, taking a seat at the table. “There’s been a new development and I’d like your input before I do anything.”

“And that is,” I asked as I bent over and started pulling on my boots, looking up through my lashes at her.

My gaze seemed to do something to her and her blush increased. I couldn’t help the smile that played on my lips before I felt the loss of Ava’s similar looks. I coughed to clear my throat and sat up to look at her.

“You’re not answering my question, Commander,” I sad, gently.

She seemed to clear her mind over whatever she was thinking and turned her focus onto why she was here and said, “A scout returned from the Skaikru camp with their supposed leader. I wish you to take a look at him and see if you can identify him.”

“Alright,” I replied. “Why are they here?”

“The scout told me that the man wished to speak to me about peace between our people.”

I laughed bitterly and said, “Figures. One of them kills eighteen innocents and he wants to talk peace.”

“Either way,” she said, glaring at me slightly. “With the other man we have, I think it’s best if I address them before I send the army.”

“Very well, Commander,” I replied, standing up.

She followed suit and walked over to me. I watched her curiously and she said, “You might as well call me by my name, Rook. It’s Lexa, but only in private. Since we can share thoughts.”

I nodded and swallowed at the look she was suddenly give me, “I’ll try and remember that, Lexa.”

She hummed in acknowledgement and suddenly drew me into a kiss. I was startled and didn’t return it, but she was persistent and I finally relaxed into it. When we parted, I looked at her strangely and said, “You shouldn’t have done that, Lexa. I’m still grieving. It’s too soon to even begin thinking about something like that.”

She laid a hand on my chest and looked down, “You’re right, but after seeing you, I felt urged on to kiss you.”

“Don’t tell me that the Spirits of the Commanders appreciated the view as much as you did,” I joked, trying to ease the tension.

She pushed against me and I stepped back to give us more space and shook her head, “You’re making it very hard, Rook, to take you seriously.”

I quirked an eyebrow at her, “Really. I’m finding it rather difficult with the way you keep looking at me like that.”

She rolled her eyes at me in an uncharacteristic manner making me chuckle and she said, “Come on. I want you to take a look so that I may continue with the war council.”

“Of course,” I said and walked around her to open the door for her. “After you.”

She gave me a look and I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I followed her to where the men were kept. We didn’t enter the cell, but I could see the man clearly and knew who it was. There were some questions that filled my mind and the one that was foremost was how Jaha ended up in the Wastelands.

I stepped away from the cell and we moved down the hallway to speak.

“Do you know who he is,” she asked, looking at me expectantly.

“Surprisingly enough, I do,” I replied. “That’s Marcus Kane. He was the Head of Security. I’d like to know how he became the leader and Jaha ended up in the Wastelands.”

“There was some kind of cylindrical object near where he was picked up. It looked like that may have been how he came down,” she answered.

I thought about it and asked aloud, “I wonder what happened up there for him to become separated like that?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Not really. Marcus Kane is a stickler for rules. Or he was. He doesn’t quite look like it now, especially since he is looking for peace and not acting aggressively. That’s about all I can tell you, besides the fact that he served on the Council along with Jaha.”

“Thank you,” she said softly and had to restrain from touching me again.

I leaned in close and said quietly, “Quit it. Neither one of us can appear weak in front of the others. But thank you for the compliments. It’s nice to know I’m seen more than just a warrior.”

She swallowed thickly and nodded, taking a step back, “Of course. You’re right. Thank you for the reminder.”

I nodded, “If you need me further, I’ll be in my home. Just…send a runner next time.”

She blushed and nodded. I bowed to her slightly and headed home. When I entered my home, I found Ava’s mother puttering around and cleaning up. On the table lay a pelt of white fur and an antler rack that looked vaguely familiar.

“Sursha,” I said, “What’s all of this?”

She turned and gave me a smile, “The cloak maker was finally done with your winter cloak and the butcher was done with the deer you took down.”

I walked over to the table and ran my hand over the soft fur, “The White Wolf’s pelt?”

“Yes, shall we see how it fits you,” she said walking over.

I lifted it up and was greeted by its head and took a step back, “That’s rather disconcerting,” I said, looking at her.

“The head fits over your right shoulder,” she said, taking it from me.

Stepping behind me, she laid the head over and down my shoulder. The rest of the cloak wrapped behind me and then met up underneath the head where there was a buckle to hold it in place. I immediately felt the warmth and the fur tickled my neck. I noted it would take a while to get used to seeing the head in my peripheral and told her as much.

“It is a rather large head,” she told me. “You will be drawing stares every time you wear it.”

She pulled me to the center of the room and then stepped back, taking in the way I looked. She smiled and then asked me to pull up the back. I did and was surprised to feel it able to reach up and cover my head.

“It’s been waterproofed,” she said. “So, when it snows or rains, you won’t get wet as long as you have the hood pulled up. How does it feel?”

“Heavy and warm,” I said, wrapping it tighter around me and I looked down to see that it stopped just below mid-calf. “It’ll definitely keep me warm, but maybe not so much if I’m on a horse.”

She nodded, “That’s to be expected. That’s why the tailor is making you some thicker pants and wool stockings. The boots you have will have to do, but they’re starting to look rather worn.”

I looked down at them and lifted them to look at the seams and soles, “You’re right. I either need to get them repaired or find a new pair.”

“We do have a building that holds spare clothing, including shoes. You should take a look before you leave for the Skaikru camp.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that. I don’t think the Commander or Indra would appreciate if I lost a boot on the march.”

“Oh, didn’t you hear,” she said, smiling big at me. “The Commander’s brought you a horse.”

“She brought me a horse,” I looked at her astonished. “Why would she go and do that?”

“I believe she’s trying to elevate your status more than you already have after killing the White Wolf. Add that to what you demonstrated in the fighting pit yesterday. You’re making a name for yourself and haven’t even been in battle yet.”

I snorted, “Great. I go from being a nobody to everyone knowing who I am. Is there anything else you’d like to throw my way? You know, like, I’m marrying the Commander or something?”

I stopped short at what I let slip out of my mouth and sat down abruptly as I began to cry. I had wanted to make Ava my wife and now that dream would never be realized.

Sursha rushed over to me and enveloped me in a tight embrace. She knew what I meant and it meant the world to me that she just held me.

“She would have loved to have been your wife, Rook,” she said, gently after my tears had subsided. “She was so in love with you and you made her so very happy.”

“She was the first one to see me, Sursha,” I whispered. “The first one to love me. She helped me so much, how am I going to continue without her? I loved her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”

“Hush, child,” she said stroking my head. “She’ll always be with you, Rook. In your heart.”

I nodded numbly, “I think I’m going to get some sleep. I’m tired.”

She nodded and hugged me once more before she stood up. I kicked off my boots and wrapping the cloak tightly around me, I turned to face the wall and curled up as tightly as I could. I heard the soft click of the door shutting and forced myself to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up the next morning feeling much better and rested than the last few days. It was still an adjustment to waking up alone, but I was saddened to realize that it was getting easier already. I wasn’t completely awake when I felt something tickle the side of my neck and face and I glanced to my right. Seeing the wolf’s ear and part of the head, I panicked and tried to get away, slamming my head against the wall. I grabbed it, curled up into a ball as the impact woke me up completely and I remembered that I had been wearing the cloak when I fell asleep.

“Fuck,” I said, as I slowly uncurled, still holding my head. “God, I am an idiot sometimes.”

There was a chortle and I quickly spun around and glared at seeing Lexa sitting at the table trying to hold in her laughter.

“Dammit, Lexa,” I said, exasperated. “Give a girl some warning next time. Do you have a habit of sitting quietly and watching people sleep?”

She couldn’t hold it in any longer and started laughing, making me glare at her harder. I rolled and stretched out my neck because the impact had compressed it slightly. I sighed and sat up more fully, removing the cloak from around my shoulders and thankful that the wolf’s head wasn’t in my periphery any longer.

“I am sorry, Rook, but that was the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages,” she said as she finally calmed down. “And no, I am not in the habit of watching people sleep. You just looked so peaceful and Sursha told me what happened last night, so I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

I bared my teeth at her making her grin wider and shook my head at her behavior, “You are something else, Lexa. That’s for damn sure. You do realize that if you keep spending so much time with me, people will begin to start talking.”

“And what do you think people would say,” she asked, cocking her head to the side at me curiously.

“Oh, who knows. That I’m corrupting you to make _Skaikru_ more favorable in your eyes. That we are sharing a bed. That I am luring you closer in order to kill you,” I replied, raising a brow at her.

I stood up and stretched and I could feel her admiring what she saw. I looked at her knowingly and she blushed when I caught her eye, “And doing that is not helping matters.”

“You are an attractive woman, Rook,” she said, refusing to look apologetic. “You draw the eyes of everyone. Only the villagers know that you prefer the company of a woman.”

I snorted, “Be that as it may it’s not seemly for you to so openly admire me.”

“I’ve yet to do it openly,” she retorted. “There is just something about you that tells me that I can completely relax when I’m around you. That you will not judge me for my actions.”

“Oh, I’ll judge you,” I replied with a smirk. “The only difference is that I’m not afraid to call you out on it.”

“So, you’re saying that you’re not intimidated by me,” she looked at me incredulously.

“Right now, no. You are acting your age, Lexa. You are coming to me as a young woman and not the Commander. There is a difference. You put on that armor and war paint, I’ll probably play a different tune. I respect you and as I have said, I acknowledge you as my leader. As my Commander.”

“That’s just it. You allow me to be myself more. You make it comfortable and I like it. No one has been able to give me that since Costia.”

I felt a sense of sadness and walked over to kneel in front of her. She looked at me in confusion and I only cupped her face in sympathy before I stood up again and walked over to the wash basin to freshen up.

“Why did you do that,” she asked my back.

Without turning around, I answered, “You still miss her. You still bear grief over the loss of her. It’s small compared to mine right now, but it’s still there. It was meant as comfort only.”

I heard the chair move back and then felt her arms encircle me in a hug. I patted her hands as she squeezed slightly before letting me go.

I turned around when I felt her leave my space and watched as she sat back down. I had to admit that she was beautiful and graceful. Her movements fluid and when she smiled, her eyes lit up. I thought that once I had given myself a chance to properly mourn Ava, I could see us sharing a bed at least once.

She looked up at me and I could tell that she had gotten the gist of what I was thinking and she smirked at me. I shrugged and went and poured us something to drink. I sat the cup in front of her before I sat in the other chair and looked at her expectantly.

She sighed, interpreting my look correctly and said, “I’ve learned what I can from both men. You are correct that Kane is interested in making peace and I must admit that Jaha is not one to be trusted.”

“You should have killed Jaha,” I said, coldly. “As long as he lives, he will cause trouble both among _Skaikru_ and us. Let me guess, he thinks that he’s better than us because _Skaikru _has _tek_ and we live rather simply.”__

____

She nodded, smiling, “Your observation is astute. I gathered that myself. I sent Jaha back to their camp to relay a message. They have two days to leave or we will attack.”

____

“Hmm,” I said, thinking. “He’ll opt to leave. For all his speeches, he is a coward. He thinks that by leaving he is ultimately saving the human race. But he is cold and calculating. He’ll try to take advantage of situations to make himself seem like a savior. Like I said, you should have killed him.”

____

“Mayhap, but for now, he is doing his duty.”

____

“And what of Kane? What do you plan on doing with him?”

____

“He is a different story. He genuinely believes in creating peace between our people. He’s intelligent and quick in his thinking. I gave them a chance to pay for Finn’s crimes, pitting them against one another. I watched as they argued. Kane stepped up and told Jaha to kill him so that their people could live with the hope of peace. When the man refused, he sliced his arm open prepared to sacrifice himself.”

____

I nodded, “It’s nice to know that he has changed his view of things.”

____

“You told me that you spent the last four years in prison,” she said carefully.

____

“Yes,” I said just as carefully. “That’s right.”

____

“Did you not tell someone that you had a habit of getting into fights with the others while you were there?”

____

I scrunched up my nose in thought and replied, “I believe so. What are you thinking?”

____

“If you are willing, I’d like Kane to witness a particular ritual,” she said, looking me squarely in the eye.

____

“Using me to conduct the ritual,” I hazarded.

____

“Correct,” she said, nodding. “You heard mention of Death by a Thousand Cuts?”

____

“I’ve heard mentions of it especially since Finn murdered people. The villagers wish to avenge the fallen by performing that on him.”

____

“What it is, even though Finn’s punishment will include more than the cuts, is that each person who harbors a grievance against the one who committed the crime will be allowed to place a cut on them. Once they have done that, the residing leader will end their life.”

____

“And you want me to go through this ritual,” I asked leaning back in doubt.

____

“To an extent. Not to kill you,” she said quickly to reassure me. “We bring some of the villagers with instructions to cut you lightly, just enough to make you bleed well. Once they are through, I will, technically, end your life by running my sword through you.”

____

“And I trust you know how to do that without actually killing me or causing me permanent harm?”

____

She nodded and grinned, “I’m more than capable of making sure that you do not die, Rook.”

____

“What would be the point of this?”

____

“To give him a taste of our justice system,” she said, “And to show him the seriousness of the matter.”

____

I leaned forward and rested my head on my elbow as I placed it on the table and looked at the ground as I thought about it. I trusted her, I had to admit to myself, and I also trusted the villagers not to get too involved since they seemed to care for me greatly. It would strike fear into Kane and could make him more cooperative to agree to our terms of peace.

____

I sighed and looked up at her, “I’ll do it. To make it more believable, I’m going to have to be beaten up to make it look like I’ve been ‘tortured’ for awhile. We’ll also have to find something to cover up the tattoos otherwise it won’t work. I’m also going to need some guards that do not mind getting beaten up a little and aren’t afraid to give it back some.”

____

“Why is that?”

____

I grinned, “Lexa, I had a reputation of being a brawler while I was in Lockup. He would expect me to fight back regardless of what I look like. It would make him recognize who I am and can ‘identify’ me to those in the camp upon his return, making it a bigger impact of my supposed death.”

____

“That makes sense. There is someone who knows how to make war paint that can blend in with your skin and hide the tattoos. I’m going to have to remind her that we’ll need a lot of it.”

____

“And that it won’t come off as soon as a liquid runs down it or if I get punched on my left side. I’m going to have to be held down to make it more effective as well. The beating should be done today and then you can throw me in a cell with him in the morning. We need someone who knows how to throw different types of punches. Weak ones that will leave a bruise but look like it’s been there for awhile, and slowly increasing the power behind the punches to make it look like it’s been going on for awhile.”

____

She nodded, smiling, “I have the perfect person who can most certainly do that.”

____

“Good. Oh, crap, I need clothing that looks like it’s from _Skaikru_. What I’m wearing won’t pass muster.”

____

“I’ll have Sursha look for something appropriate.”

____

I nodded, “You should probably leave to get everything ready. I’ll stay here until then. Limit how much I’m seen. I’m going to have to starve myself for the day.”

____

She made a face, “Very well. I’ll leave you then and begin preparations.” She got up and walked over to my side of the table and laid a hand on my face, “Thank you for doing this,” and leaned down and kissed me gently.

____

I kissed her back, but kept it short, “Stop doing that.”

____

She chuckled, “It would help if you were ugly, Rook.”

____

“Maybe getting my face beat up will deter you better,” I grumbled.

____

“Maybe that will only want me to kiss you elsewhere,” she teased.

____

“God, you need to get laid and by someone that’s not me.”

____

She gave me a soft pat on my cheek and left. I sighed and leaned back against the chair. A part of me was pleased that she was attracted to me, but another and larger part reminded me that it was too soon. The memories of Ava too raw. I needed time, but I wasn’t sure that Lexa would allow me to mourn properly with the way she had been acting since meeting me.

____


	12. Chapter 12

A few hours later, Sursha knocked on the door with a pile of clothes in her arms. I grabbed the pile from her and dumped them on the bed.

“I looked for something similar to what you were wearing when they brought you in,” she told me as we began sorting through the various shirts and pants.

“You’ve done well, Sursha,” I said as I pulled several pieces off to the side. “The clothing needs to be slightly larger than me. Not tight fitting. I need to look like I haven’t been eating enough. Unfortunately, I can’t do anything about the muscles I have built since coming here, so loose clothing helps hide that as well.”

She nodded and stopped me for a moment. Holding a shirt up to me, she gave it a look and then discarded it. We finally found appropriate clothes and I changed into them. They were uncomfortable and I longed to change back into my more traditional _Trikru_ clothing.

“Gah,” I said, shifting the shirt around, “These damn clothes are so uncomfortable. Can’t believe I spent eighteen years wearing similar clothes.”

She laughed, “You are looking rather uncomfortable and I have to agree with you. That does not look very comfortable to wear.”

I grinned, but before I could say anything more there was a knock on the door. Sursha went and opened it and Indra stepped in with a few guards.

I stood up and Indra said, “Are you sure you want to do this, Rook?”

I shrugged, “I’m not looking forward to it, but you have to admit, it’s going to leave an impression on him.”

She nodded, “These men will escort you to a cell. They’ll hang you up on the chains we have there. Kane will be placed in a cell close by and will be able to hear you as Gustus beats you. The plan is to have you spend the night there, hanging so that you’ll get marks on your wrists and soreness in your shoulders.”

I made a face, but nodded, “Alright. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

We left and people stopped to watch us as we walked to the underground cells. I noticed that most of their looks were one of confusion when they saw me wearing different clothes. We ignored them and I soon found myself with my arms over my head and hanging from the ceiling. I was tall enough that my feet were able to stay firmly planted on the ground, but I informed them that they were going to have to tie my feet down to keep me from kicking out. They nodded and did as I told them. I forcefully shifted my wrists to rub them raw against the chains and soon felt blood running down my right arm. I glanced up at my left and saw that I had blood running down it as well. I continued on in that vain for a bit before the pain was more than I wanted.

I was left hanging for awhile and found myself dozing from boredom. When the cell door opened, I jerked awake at the sound and looked over at who had entered. Gustus entered first, followed by Lexa and Indra.

I eyed him warily and asked, “You know what the plan is?”

He nodded, “I’ve been informed. Different degrees of punches to bruise you differently.”

“Yep. You’re going to enjoy this, aren’t you?”

He grinned and replied, “Yes. I still don’t trust you and this will make me feel better.”

I chuckled low, “Then whenever you’re ready, Gustus.”

“Why are your legs bound,” Indra asked.

I grinned, “To keep me from kicking him. I’m going to want to instinctively fight him. I might end up wrapping my legs around his neck and suffocating him or snapping his neck. That is something I whole heartedly wish not to do.”

She nodded in understanding and I saw the look of appreciation on Lexa’s face. We waited for a bit longer and eventually heard another cell door open and close. That was apparently the cue and Gustus landed his first punch. I grunted at the impact, but it was light enough just to bruise. He punched me in the same vein multiple times. Then he increased the power in his punches and I let out louder grunts of pain. I had to admire the precision that Gustus was landing his punches. I wasn’t so happy when he hit me in the head and I fought not to bite his fist in retaliation. As he began to hit harder, it was harder not to keep the sounds of pain from getting louder. This is what we wanted, but dammit I hated the sounds coming from me and neither Lexa nor Indra liked it either.

We went on for awhile before Lexa finally called a halt to it. I sighed in relief and my chest ached as I tried to breathe. He had cracked a few of my ribs and it was more painful than I wanted to admit.

She walked up to me and as her eyes roamed my body, she asked, “Are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine, Commander,” I wheezed. “There’s one more thing that needs to be done. Find something to slam across a hip and a knee. Hard enough to give me a limp.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded, “Yes.”

“Very well,” she said and relayed the request.

A short while later, a guard returned with a thick staff. Gustus took it and without giving me a chance to brace myself, he hit my hip making me cry out loudly and then again against a knee. I cried out again and sagged against the chains holding me up. He had hit me hard enough that tears fell down my face and I whimpered at the pain.

Lexa and Indra went to step forward, but I shook my head and said, “Don’t. I’ll be fine. Have Gustus come back later and beat me again. We’ve got to make this look good.”

Lexa gave a curt nod and they left without saying a word. I groaned at the pain in my shoulders as my body sagged of its own accord. I was very grateful that this hadn’t been my fate and I was not looking forward to what would happen tomorrow. I just had to keep reminding myself that I wasn’t really going to die.

Eventually, the pain drew me to sleep and I didn’t wake again until cold water was thrown on me. I screamed at the pain of my body jerking in reaction involuntarily, but that was probably on purpose. When I was awake and could see out of the eye that wasn’t swollen shut, I saw Gustus standing there by himself. I nodded and he began beating me again. There was no way that I could stop the sounds and I actually blacked out during it.

The next morning, I was woken up more gently, but I jerked away at the touch, my heart in my throat. It was Lexa and she was looking at me worriedly. I cleared my throat to speak but found it rather difficult. She lifted a water skein to my lips and I drank greedily from it. I sighed and leaned my head against my arm as I looked at her.

“Lexa,” I said, my voice hoarse from my screams still. “I’ll heal in a couple of days. Don’t look so worried.”

“I know that this was my idea, but it doesn’t help ease my worry.”

“Look, by tonight it’ll be over and Nyko can take care of me,” I reassured her.

She nodded and stepped back to reveal a woman with a bowl waiting silently by. Lexa nodded at the woman and she stepped forward and started applying the paint that would hide the tattoos. Her touch was gentle and I felt myself dozing off again. She woke me up when she was done and I saw that Lexa was still standing back and watching me.

“Well, how do I look,” I said, trying to grin but failing because of the swelling on my face.

She nodded, “You look like _Skaikru_. We’ll wait to make sure it’s dry before we start the next phase.”

“Should be dry in about an hour but give it an extra half hour to be sure,” the woman said.

Lexa gave me one last worried look before they both left, leaving me alone again. I shifted and moaned at the pain that lanced throughout my body as I tried to ease some of the discomfort. I stared at the wall and focused on picturing Ava the morning I left to go hunting. How beautiful she was and how grateful I was that she had been in my life. I felt a few tears trickle down my face and hoped that I hadn’t ruined any of the woman’s work as I felt them slip down. I sighed and focused on something else. I focused on my anger for Finn. For killing her. For killing Artigas. For killing sixteen other people that had been doing nothing but try to escape. I growled and rattled my chains, wanting to get out of them and hunt him down. The anger burned deep in my belly and I let it simmer there. I would need it for this next part. I needed to attack the guards as they moved me into Kane’s cell. So, I focused on what I wanted to do to Finn and let the anger lay in wait.

Two hours later, guards entered the cell and without a word, unchained me and placed chains around my wrists. I started right off the bat, trying to fight them off and yelling at them. I continued when they opened Kane’s cell and when I felt it was right, I head butted one of them and swung my arms, hitting the other one in the side of his head. Other guards rushed in and I fought them, yelling curses at them the whole time. They punched and kicked me, making me gasp in pain and I relaxed to let them know to ease up and they hauled me to a wall and chained me against it. I had enough room on the chain to move around a bit. As they backed away, I started yelling at them again until I heard the cell door slam shut and lock.

I stopped yelling and got up to move to another spot against the wall, limping and then sliding down, laying the leg with the bruised knee straight. I glanced around the room until I saw Kane watching me and I sneered.

“Fucking great,” I yelled out. “Just had to put me in with this motherfucker! Just kill me already! Fucking bastards!”

I growled and pulled on the chains while I continued to glare at Kane. He watched me warily.

“What the fuck are you looking at, asshole,” I sneered at him. “Can’t get enough of seeing me beaten up by guards on the Ark, so you have to watch the Grounders do it too. Fucking pathetic.”

That seemed to startle him out of his stupor and he got up and approached me slowly He was chained to the wall, but he had a much longer lead than I did.

“Rook,” he said, disbelieving. “You’re still alive?!”

“No thanks to you, motherfucker,” I said. “Who the fuck sends an assassin to kill innocents? Huh? Oh, that’s right. The motherfucking council. Knew you all were a bunch of cold-blooded killers.”

“We had nothing to do with that,” he argued. “I came here looking for peace.”

“Oh, really?! Then why am I paying for what someone else did?! Huh?! Tell me!”

“How long have you been here,” he asked, ignoring my demands.

“I don’t fucking know. Months? It’s kinda hard to keep track of time down here.”

I stood up and limped into the light and he stepped back as he saw me. I must have looked rather frightful and I sneered at him.

Spitting in his direction, I said, “Yeah. Take a good look, Kane. You did this to me. I’m a prisoner again because of you.”

“I had nothing to do with you being here.”

“You sent us down here to die, Kane. What the fuck did you expect?! I’m expendable, remember? What the fuck do you care, anyway,” I said and turned away from him to walk back to the wall.

I slid down and leaned my head back, closing my eyes as I concentrated on breathing. I was in a lot of pain and I had to control my breathing to minimize it.

“Quit your gawking, Kane,” I said. “I’d like to rest before I die.”

“Die,” he said incredulously.

I sighed and opened my eyes to look at him, “Yes, die. Didn’t they tell you? I get to experience death by a thousand cuts tonight. Should be fun and I won’t have to look at you anymore. Everybody wins.”

“How can you be so cavalier about this?! They’re planning on killing you!”

I laughed even though it made my chest hurt and I replied, “I was beaten when the camp burnt down a village killing a dozen. Beaten again when a scout was taken hostage. Again, when two of them were killed by guns, rifles, that you gave them. Again, when the camp blew a bridge killing dozens, including a general’s young Second. Beaten when three hundred of their warriors died in a blaze of glory. They finally got tired of beating me with this latest shit. For killing eighteen innocents, I get to die after the villagers cut me. Oh, and get this…the Commander is the one who gets to deliver the death blow. Isn’t that fucking awesome?! The Commander herself.”

“There’s got to be another way,” he complained. “How can the Commander let someone die for the sins of another?”

“Do you know who the killer is,” I asked, curiously. “Cause I’m pretty sure that if you turned that person over, they won’t kill me. Maybe. Fuck, I don’t know. Screw it. I’m tired. I’m sleeping now.”

“I don’t know who killed those villagers,” he said, quietly. “But why do you have to die?”

“Because I’m here and they are not, Kane. Same reason why I’ve been beaten every time something has happened. I’m convenient. Expendable. Worthless.”

“You’re none of those things, Rook. Your life has value,” he argued.

“You didn’t used to think so. You were planning on floating me. You sent us down here to die. Don’t delude yourself, Kane. I see through you. You only care about yourself and your precious laws. Nothing you do will ever wash away your sins. Be glad you’re still useful to the Commander. Once you stop being useful, it’s game over, man.”

“You were beating up fellow inmates, Rook. What were we supposed to do? If we had let you go, there was a good chance you’d have continued.”

I growled, “I was bored, Kane! I was training to be a mechanic. I needed to keep my hands occupied. Jesus, do you even know why I beat that man up?”

“He said something and you took exception to it,” he answered.

“Yeah, I took exception to it. He was harassing me because I’m gay. He was bullying me for nearly a year. I went looking for help, but no one would help. So, before I killed myself, I beat him. I made him feel the pain I had been feeling. But no one asked me why I did it. You threw me in a cell and left me to rot for four fucking years without a fucking trial. So, tell me again how my life has value.”

“That was the Ark. We’re not on the Ark anymore.”

“No, we’re not. Just because we’re somewhere new does not give you the right to a clean slate. You and your damn council were evil compared to down here. At least down here, the punishment fit the crime. I knew why I was getting punished. Up there, you’re killed regardless of what you did. You steal a ration, you get floated. You kill someone, you get floated. You get upset and hit a guard because your parents got floated, you get to spend five years in prison before you get floated. You push back a bully, you get floated. Hell, you carry a second child to term, you get floated and the child gets sent to prison and probably would have gotten floated. Don’t call it justice, Kane. It was population control. A culling over a long period of time.”

“How else were we supposed to make sure the human race survived?! Every crime put the entirety of the Ark at risk. Every ration stolen meant someone else starved. Every medication meant someone stayed sick. Limited supplies meant harsher conditions.”

“And there it is, ladies and gentleman,” I said sarcastically. “The excuse of the century…humanity was at risk. Humanity is always at risk, Kane. So, just go float yourself. I’m done talking to you.”

I shifted until I had my back to him and laid down. I closed my eyes and listened as he mumbled to himself, justifying himself. I smirked and fell into a fitful sleep.

I woke up when I heard the cell door slam open and before I knew it, I was being dragged out of the cell. Even knowing that it was going to happen, it was terrifying and I actually fought to get loose. My mind momentarily panicking until I remembered that I wasn’t going to die. I was just going to wish I was.

I was taken to a small clearing, already surrounded by people, quietly murmuring. In the center of the clearing a wooden pole had been erected. I was tied up to it. My arms over my head and a rope wrapped around my legs. I struggled and felt no give. I closed my eyes to calm and center myself and didn’t open them again until Lexa started speaking. When I looked at her, she was indeed intimidating. In full armor and war paint, she walked between me and the crowd, speaking of the crimes that had been committed by _Skaikru_. The most heinous being the murder of eighteen innocents. I glanced to see where they had placed Kane and saw that he had a front row seat to the show. He’d see everyone take a knife and slice me. He’d see the sword enter me as Lexa delivered the killing blow. He’d see me die and he would know. He would know what he had done. What Finn had done. Another innocent person dying at the hands of _Skaikru_.

When Lexa was done speaking, the first of the villagers stepped up. He looked up at me apologetically and sliced down my arm, making me grunt in pain. Then the next walked up and placed their cut. All in all, I endured over fifty cuts and I was bleeding profusely from them. My clothing coated in blood. I looked over at Kane and could see the horrified expression on his face. Then it was time for Lexa. We stared at one another and I could feel the fear and worry coming from her. I sent calming thoughts her way and she seemed to gather strength from them. I stood up straighter, with my head up high.

She unsheathed her sword and prepared herself. Before she plunged her sword in and through me, she said in the _Trigedasleng_ , “ _Your fight is not over. Stay strong_.”

I winced and grunted as the sword slowly pierced my skin and I could feel as it slowly went through me. The pain was incredible and after the last forty-eight hours, my vision blackened. I bit back a scream when it exited my back and my body jerked. The darkness became thicker as she pulled the sword out and when it left me, I was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

Lexa POV

As soon as Kane was escorted away, I ordered Rook to be cut down. The guards laid her gently on the ground as Nyko knelt beside her. He checked her pulse and breathing and then looked at me with a small grin.

“She is still alive, _Heda_ ,” he said. “Now, we must make sure she stays that way.”

“Do what you must, Nyko,” I replied. “We cannot afford to lose her to Death. Not yet.”

He nodded and with the help of a guard, lifted her up and carried her to his home. I watched them until they turned a corner and then turned away, finding Indra waiting for me.

“What is it, Indra,” I asked.

“Was this display wise, _Heda_ ,” she asked as we began walking back towards the center of the village.

I sighed and said, “Maybe not. _Skaikru_ need to understand the consequences of their actions. They cannot continue to blame ignorance to justify needless death. Kane now knows this.”

“He will think that Rook’s supposed death clears _Skaikru_ of the eighteen murders. That the two of you may now speak about peace.”

“Then we will make sure that is not the case, Indra. Did you learn anything while you were hovering outside their cell,” I asked her curiously and was satisfied to see her jerk in surprise. “Do not think that you could hide that fact, Indra. You are protective of Rook.”

She nodded curtly and then said, “I did learn some things, but not much. It seems that the punishment for a crime committed is the same regardless of the crime. Theft, murder, having a second child…they are all executed.”

I stopped short and looked at her aghast, “Having a second child is a crime?!”

“According to what was said, yes,” she replied, shaking her head to dispel the thought. “It seems that life was very harsh in the sky. Everything is controlled. From the food to the medicine. Kane was apparently the one who enforced the laws and according to Rook, kept a strict adherence to them. That there was no chance of leniency. His justification was that they were harsh because they had to make sure that the human race survived. She called it an excuse and that it was about population control. That they didn’t really value people’s lives, but rather if they were seen as a threat or not.”

I shook my head, not understanding their mentality and said, “And yet they call us savages. Indra, finish the preparations to move the army outside the Skaikru camp. I want us ready to march the day after tomorrow.”

We had stopped just outside my quarters and I looked at her in the gloom. Her countenance took on a more deadly form and there was steel in her eyes and down her back. She knew that it was finally time to act.

“I’ll inform the generals,” she said and left me.

I headed inside and began taking off my armor and placing it gently on the table that held the map of the camp. Washing the war paint off my face, I felt regret clutch my chest and I closed my eyes to the pain. I’m not sure what it was about Rook that had so captivated my attention so quickly, but she had and I regretted what had happened these last forty-eight hours.

I sighed and pushed away from the wash basin and headed to my bed. Sitting down, I began to take off my boots and as I was about to straighten, I felt an overwhelming feeling of panic. It was strong enough that my heart began to race and my breathing came in short hurried gasps. I closed my eyes and searched for a reason why I would suddenly panic, but could find it in none of my thoughts and then realized that it was coming from Rook. Without a thought, I slipped my boots back on and throwing a cloak over my shoulders, I hurried to Nyko’s. 

When I reached his door, I didn’t bother to knock, but went straight inside, my eyes searching the gloom until they rested on Rook. She was thrashing slightly and moans could be heard escaping her lips. I hadn’t seen Nyko, so I hurried over to her bedside and took her hand in mine. She tried to pull her hand back, but I held firm and slowly began stroking her head. Surprising, she immediately calmed and her breathing eased. At the same time, the feeling of panic in my mind went away and was replaced by a sense of calm. I sat with her for a while, doing nothing more than stroking her head and holding her hand. I was surprised to feel a hand on my shoulder and I snapped my head up to glare at whoever had dared touch me, but relaxed seeing that it was Nyko.

“Commander,” he said, confused. “I was not expecting to see you looking over our young friend here.”

I nodded and let go of Rook’s hand reluctantly and coughed before I replied, “I came to speak with you, to check on how she was doing, but you were not here. I saw her thrashing, so I came to give her some comfort before she further injured herself.”

“Everyone did exactly as we hoped. None of the injuries will permanently harm her in any way. Her body is already on its way to healing completely. The bruising has gone down immensely and most of the cuts were shallow enough that they will not pain her. Her body just needs to rest, but she will probably wake up later tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Nyko,” I said, reluctantly standing up. “The night is nearly over, I should find my own bed and get what rest I can.”

He nodded and stepped back, “Of course, _Heda_. I’ll keep you informed about how Rook is doing.”

“Again, thank you,” I said and left the room.

I slept fitfully that night, most of my dreams seemed to revolve around Rook and Costia. I woke up confused and irritated but pushed those feelings away as I prepared for the day.

It was after the midday meal as I was going after last minute army placements with the generals that a runner came up and whispered something in Gustus’ ear. I watched out of the corner of my eye as the man nodded and sent the runner off again. When I saw him making his way over, I straightened up and looked at him expectantly.

He came up next to me and whispered in my ear, “She has awakened and is wishing to speak with you.”

I nodded and he backed away. I looked at the map before turning my attention to the generals and dismissed them for a short break. Most of what was being discussed was trivial and a break would help keep them from biting at each other. I waited for a short while after they had left before I headed to Nyko’s.

When I entered the room, I was surprised to see Rook sitting up and examining her chest. I paused right inside, watching her silently, my eyes widening at the array of bruises littering her.

“I have to admit, Gustus does know how to punch,” she said, looking up at me, smiling. “He only got a little carried away when he cracked some of my ribs at the end.”

“How are you feeling,” I asked as I took a chair opposite her.

She shrugged, “Oh, I feel like one big bruise which is what I am, so I’m fine, Lexa. How are you feeling? I know the last two days have been hard on you.”

“Relieved that you’ve woken up and knowing that we did not harm you overly much,” I answered, watching her curiously. “You seem different.”

She shrugged again and tilted her head to look at me, “Maybe. I feel more peaceful and calmer. Though the calmness only happens when I’m near you.”

“I make you feel calm,” I asked, not believing it.

She chuckled dryly, “Be at peace, Lexa. Your presence is calming to me. Even when you’re Commander, you still calm me.”

“But still, no one has ever said that I make them feel calm. Intimidated, yes. Calm, no,” I replied, shaking my head.

“Whatever,” she said, stretching her arms over her head slowly and wincing slightly.

I couldn’t help but stare at her as I watched the muscles move and stretch across her chest and I had to swallow thickly at the urge to touch her grew. Hearing her chuckle again snapped me out of it and I glared at her which only made her laugh. To ease my discomfort, I stood up and walked over to the fireplace and stared at it a short while.

“You were wanting to speak with me,” I said, trying to gain some semblance of control over myself.

“Ah, yes,” she said, drawing my attention back to her. “I did. I was wanting to find out when you were intending on marching out and if you still wished to have me accompany you.”

“Will you be well enough to travel,” I asked coming back over to the table and sitting down once more.

She nodded, “The cuts will be healed by tomorrow morning and my chest should look mostly green and yellow by then as well. I can already see out of my black eye with only slight blurriness, so I expect that to clear up by then as well. My only discomfort will be my ribs and the sword thrust. That was cauterized.”

I looked up at her and she pointed to the bandage placed over where the sword had entered her. I nodded, “So, you really seem to be able to heal faster than normal.”

She nodded, “This is giving us a good way see how much faster I heal. Nyko is fascinated by it.”

I chuckled, “As a healer, I should expect that he would. The army will begin to leave mid afternoon tomorrow. I want us to arrive after the sun has set.”

She smiled, “You want to scare them, don’t you?”

I returned her smile, “Perhaps. To wake up and find an army suddenly on your doorstep can be disconcerting. Or to see torches suddenly lighting across the horizon in the middle of the night.”

“It will make them pause and rethink their choice about staying,” she said. She looked like she wanted to say more, but something caught her attention and she turned to focus on it.

“What is it, Rook,” I asked, grabbing her attention.

She seemed to shake herself and refocused on me as she said, “It’s the possible outcomes if we do have to attack the _Skaikru_ camp. Like I said, with their weapons, our army will take on very heavy losses while all stay safely behind an electrified fence. I do not doubt that eventually we’ll be able to overrun their defenses, but it will cause them to hide themselves within the station itself, leaving it impossible to follow them.”

I thought about what she said and asked, “Would they be able to outlast us if we laid siege to them?”

She shook her head, “No. They won’t last long. Only as long as their rations and fresh water hold out. The fresh water being the most pressing since a human body can only last a few days without.”

“So, if we poisoned the lake behind them…”

“If they do not have a water filtration system in place, it will make them give up sooner,” she supplied. 

“Do you believe they have one,” I asked not knowing what she was talking about.

She saw my look of confusion and explained, “A water filtration system is used to make water safe to drink by removing harmful things from the water. Harmful things like if you would drink downstream from where animals are known to relieve themselves. Drinking water from that spot will cause a person to be sick or worse. Filtering the water allows a person to drink that same water without that possibility. The system will work as long as the demand does not exceed what it can do. Each station would have a system in place along with keeping the recycled air in them breathable.”

“I do not think my generals would want to wait out something that we are not familiar with,” I said, looking at her.

“Probably not, but that is the most likely outcome,” she said, standing up.

I stood up and asked alarmed, “Should you be doing that? Has Nyko said that you’re well enough to get up?”

She grinned and stepped closer to me, limping still and said, “Lexa, I’m fine. As I told you that I would be. I just need to be wary of my ribs. It’ll be a few days before I can begin training again.”

“Well, you certainly cannot leave his home wearing nothing but your bindings,” I said, affronted and trying really hard not to let my eyes roam the length of her.

She looked down at herself and then back at me, looking amused. She stepped closer and my nose was assaulted with the scent of herbs and something slightly musky that seemed to come from the forest. I swallowed thickly and made to step back, but she stopped me with a firm grip on my elbow. I looked up at her in utter confusion and her grey eyes seemed to flash and darken to the color of a storm cloud. Without saying anything, she leaned down and brushed her lips against mine. I gasped at the feeling and she brought her lips back and kissed me more fully. Without a thought, I was kissing her back and I pulled her closer to me and couldn’t help how good it felt to have her body against mine or the taste of her lips. I was breathless when we parted and she took a step back and sat back down on the bed, watching me.

My body seemed to be vibrating just by her kiss and I looked down at her dumbstruck.

“I thought you said you weren’t ready,” I told her, my voice deeper than normal and slightly shaky.

“I guess maybe I am now,” she said, looking up at me curiously. “While I slept and as my body healed, I think a part of my soul did as well. I told you that I feel more peaceful. I think the ritual did more than what you intended.”

“What do you mean,” I asked collapsing in the chair.

“When I saw Ava’s body fall, it devastated me and I became consumed by rage,” she said slowly as she worked it out. “It was a grief driven rage. So, I went after the boy who shot her and was stopped before I could take his life. But, while I slept and healed, I realized that it was not just anger at the boy. I was angry at myself. Angry because I left her unprotected. Because I was not there to stop it. The rage turned to guilt. Since being placed in the cell after my last attempt to go after the boy, I have felt nothing but guilt. I guess, in a way, the beating and ritual was a form of penance for me. It removed that guilt and though I still grieve, it feels less burdensome. I know Ava would not want her death to keep me from living. Yes, I would have loved to have been able to spend the rest of my life with her, but I see now that it wasn’t meant to be. She was meant as a guide and to help me realize that I am capable of being loved. That I can be seen.”

“What does that mean?”

She sighed heavily and replied, “It means that I feel free to feel again. That I don’t have to keep myself from acknowledging the fact that I am attracted to you and reciprocating what you have implied.”

“So, if I wanted to invite you to my bed, you would,” I asked, stunned.

“If that’s what you wanted. Whether it’s the bond we share or the mutual attraction, I like being around you. I want to be around you. It’s just that with everything that’s going on, it’s not exactly practical to indulge ourselves. If we openly share or spend too much time in each other’s company, it would possibly make us vulnerable and I am sure that there are those that would exploit such things.”

I took the time to think what she had said as she waited patiently for me to decide. After a while, I came to a decision and got up from the chair. I walked over to her and pushed her back onto the bed. She said nothing as I climbed and straddled her hips. Leaning down I captured her mouth with mine and her arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer as she sat up until I was sitting in her lap. It was strange that as we kissed, I felt oddly protected and the regret and guilt that I had been harboring from the past two days melted away. We did no more than kiss, but I felt no motivation to move from her lap and just let her hold me. 

After a while, her hold on me loosened and she leaned back on her arms to look up at me and said with a voice tinged with regret, “You should get going, Lexa. The generals will be wondering where you have gone off to and I am greatly surprised that we have been left alone for as long as we have.”

I nodded and slid off her lap to stand and straighten my clothes. She crawled back underneath the covers and laid back down again in an attempt to appear more modest.

I nodded in approval and was rewarded by a smirk from her, then I said, “You are right, of course. I’ll send Sursha over with some clothes and food. I probably will not be able to see you until it is time to leave tomorrow.”

“That’s fine. Resting is really the only thing I want to do now, anyways. I’ll see you then,” she said and closed her eyes.

“Rest well, Rook,” I said.

She cracked opened an eye and grinned at me, “Now that we have had this talk, I will be able to do so. Sleep well, Commander.”

I nodded and left the house, headed back to speak with my generals once more. My heart feeling lighter even as my mind darkened at the possibilities of what war against the Skaikru camp could bring my people.


	14. Chapter 14

Rook POV

I stepped out of the house and looked up at the sky. It was overcast and rain seemed to threaten over the horizon. I shook my head and hoped that the trip would not be plagued by rain and mud even if the journey wasn’t far. I also wondered how I would hold up since I’d never seen a horse or ridden one before. I was sure that my body would yell at me by day’s end. Sursha had already left with the pack that I would be taking with me and I began walking towards the entrance we would be leaving from as I adjusted my cloak better around the shoulders and still found it difficult to adjust to having a wolf’s head so near my own. 

I walked over to a small cluster that held Indra, Gustus and Lexa. There seemed to be a bit of an argument going on based on their stiff postures. I sighed at the prospect but continued walking closer to them.

“What is it,” I asked, when they quickly silenced once they realized I was coming. “You’re either discussing me or something that has to do with _Skaikru_. So, what is it?”

“They have indeed refused to leave,” Indra said, looking at me.

I nodded, “Sounds like Jaha isn’t as persuasive as he thought he was. What of it?”

“We are trying to decide if we should bring Kane with us on the march,” she informed me.

I looked at them curiously and asked, “Wouldn’t it be better to let him hang back in case we have further use of him. If Jaha could not persuade the people to leave, we may be able to use him to get what we want.”

“You are saying that Kane may be able to get them to agree to something like handing the boy over,” Lexa asked.

“Possibly. As long as we keep him isolated to the village for the moment and only bring him in when we absolutely need him. Keeping him here also means that we have a hostage to negotiate with. Threaten his life. It seems they are now reluctant to even lose one life now and he is still considered a leader according to him.”

They nodded and Lexa said, “That seems to be the case. Very well, we’ll leave a guard detachment with him and if need be, we’ll send a Rider to retrieve if we need to.”

That was the end of the discussion and we headed over to where horses were waiting for us.

Lexa came up beside me and I looked at her curiously as she said, “The black gelding with the two front white socks is yours, Rook. He is called Arthos.”

I nodded and looked at him warily. Having never seen a horse until now, I wasn’t sure what to expect from their behavior and Lexa seemed to notice that.

She chuckled, “Arthos is a fine beast, Rook. Swift of foot and mean in battle, but he has an agreeable manner. You will be fine.”

“You’ll have to forgive me, but outside of pictures, I’ve never seen one before.”

“Then I shall show you how to introduce yourself to your horse,” she said and guided me to Arthos’ head. She gave me a slice of apple and had me hold out my hand to the creature. It felt strange to feel as it sniffed my hand and take the proffered apple slice. He nudged my hand and I reversed it and gently ran it over his face. His hair felt silky and he watched me intelligently as we grew accustomed to one another. He even went so far as to nip at the wolf’s head on my shoulder, but I removed his head to keep him from damaging it. Keeping my hand along his coat, I walked over the length until I came to his saddle. A stablehand came over and helped me up and with a bit of adjustment and settling of my cloak, he handed me the reins and I looked over at Lexa trying to figure out if I was doing it right.

She nudged her horse closer and with minor adjustments and instructions, I felt that I was ready to give this a go. When everyone was ready, we headed out and I had to bite back the words that threatened to come out as Arthos began moving. After I calmed my racing heart and forced to relax my grip on the reins and loosened the death grip of my legs, I began to get used to the way I moved with the horse. We weren’t moving at a fast pace, so I was allotted the time to get used to it.

We arrived after dark had settled, but that didn’t seem to keep the warriors from setting up an orderly camp. I nudged Arthos to follow Lexa as the horses picked their way to the Commander’s tent already set up on a hill overlooking the army itself and giving us a perfect view of Alpha Station. After slowly dismounting, I laid my head against Arthos’ side, absently gliding my hand along his neck. He decided to look back at me and was nibbling back and forth between my hair and the cloak.

I turned my head to glare at him balefully and said, “Stop it. I’m only leaning on you to stay upright.”

“Rook,” I heard Lexa call out.

“ _Sha, Heda_ ,” I answered, voice muffled by Arthos.

“Can you step away from Arthos so that they can take him to the corral?”

I sighed and with energy I didn’t feel, straightened and stepped away from Arthos. The warrior assigned to take care of him, nodded and led Arthos away. I walked stiffly over to Lexa, my limp more pronounced after spending the afternoon in the saddle and she frowned slightly at seeing it.

I chose to ignore the look as I stopped by her and turned my gaze to the _Skaikru_ camp. The ring of Alpha Station and the grounds within the fence were lit up with lights that had been set up. It looked strange with the stars as a backdrop. It commanded the view of the onlooker but looked no more incredible than other ruins that I’d discovered on the ground. The only difference was that it was created out of metal verses metal and concrete.

“It is an impressive structure,” she said.

“It is,” I replied. “But it can still fall.”

“You are sure of that,” Indra asked.

“All things can fall, Indra. You just have to know what will do it,” I said. “You also have to have the will to make it fall. Too bad you do not know what a catapult is.”

“I’ve read of those in some of the histories,” Lexa said. “But I did not fully understand the term.”

I smiled, “It is a machine that can launch large rocks or small boulders over a distance. It’s a way to break down an enemy’s defense without getting too close. From here, we could break their fence and start damaging the structure itself without losing lives. It was used when swords, spears and bows were used in war centuries ago. Before guns.”

“These can be built?”

“Yes, but it takes time, Commander. Time that we do not have especially since we don’t have plans on how to make one.”

“Could you design one,” she asked, looking over at me.

“Maybe. It would take me a few tries to get it right and right now my brain isn’t working well enough to do it.”

She nodded, “We’ll discuss it in the morning.”

“Alright. Is there a reason why we’re standing out here in the dark?”

“Yes,” she said and signaled to someone off to the side.

A torch suddenly lit and then another and another. Soon the camp was full of torches. As I looked out over the ground between us and the camp, the sheer number of torches was breathtaking. Even though each torch was born by a single person, it was just a small touch of how large the army was. I could just imagine what the camp thought if they were seeing this and from the sounds that were being carried over, it was having one hell of an impact.

“That…is…impressive, Commander,” I said as I took in the view.

“Indeed,” she said, sounding rather proud of it. “This should give them second thoughts about refusing to leave.”

“I’m sure of it. So, what now?”

“Now, we may retire for the evening. Rook, I’ve ordered that your belongings be brought into my tent.”

I looked over at her in surprise and asked, “Is that wise, Commander? Should I not be sharing the same space as Indra’s men?”

“I’ve decided to add you to my personal guard for the time being. As such, sharing a tent adds to my protection. Do you disagree?”

“Not at all, Commander. I am yours to do as you wish.”

“Good. I have no further need for you at the moment. You may retire for the night.”

I bowed my head and replied, “Very well, Commander. I will take my leave.”

She nodded in acknowledgement and I ducked behind the tent flap that led to the main area of the Commander’s tent. It was sparse. A table already laid out, ready for the map to be laid and final plans to be made. A wooden throne set up on a small dais. A few torches and a couple of tables set up to hold up what ever was needed. I set off to the side of the tent where a curtain separated the sleeping quarters from the rest of it and found where the attendants had set my pack. I took off my cloak and hung it up on a tent pole before taking off the shoulder pauldron that protected my left shoulder. Laying that at the foot of the cot I’d been given, I removed my weapons, placing a dagger underneath the small pillow I’d been given. It never hurt to be prepared. I dug through the pack Sursha had prepared for me and pulled out the sleeping garments that she’d packed. She remembered that I preferred only sleeping in some loose pants and binder. I changed quickly and padded across the floor barefoot to the other side of the room and poured myself something to drink. I stood staring at the back wall blankly as I slowly sipped the watered wine and allowed my mind to wander and calm itself.

I heard someone enter the tent proper but felt no need to turn around to see who it is. It wasn’t until I heard the curtain rustle and the soft gasp that I turned around and I smiled slightly seeing the look on Lexa’s face. I finished the drink and set it back near the pitcher before I walked over to her. She stood there silently as I walked over making me chuckle which drove her eyes to look up at me. She shook her head and gave me a small smile, no more than a quick upturn of her lips.

“I guess I should be glad that you are at least half dressed,” she said as she began taking off her own cloak and armor.

I sat on my cot and stretched my legs out in front of me as I watched her and said, “We’ve discussed that incident already. If you hadn’t sounded so urgent, I would have had the forethought to put something on. At least I wasn’t completely naked.”

“True. I don’t think I would have been able to retain my self control if you had been,” she said, giving me a shy smile. “Was the journey so rough on you?”

I looked at her curiously and she said, “You’re limping pretty bad.”

I nodded, “I think Gustus may have cracked my hip the other day. Riding a horse for most of the day as an introduction to horse riding did not help. I’ll be fine with some rest and if it gets worse, Nyko gave me something for the pain.”

“At least you have the forethought of listening to Nyko and are not so stubborn as to ignore the pain.”

I laughed, “Only because I’ve learned the hard way not to fight him. It’s become habit now.”

“I am serious about having you as part of my personal guard, Rook. I didn’t just say that to keep you closer to me,” she said as she pulled her head through a loose shirt that when she settled stopped at mid-thigh on her.

I nodded, “I didn’t think you were just saying it, Lexa. It’s an interesting call since I haven’t really been battle proven as of yet.”

“True, but your skill in the training pit has been spread far and wide. No one doubts that you are not capable of protecting me.”

I hummed, “You have something else planned for me, don’t you?”

She smiled and walked over to me, straddling my legs until we were inches apart, “Mayhap, but you need not worry about it until the sun rises.”

I nodded and she leaned down to kiss me. I scooted back as she climbed up on the cot and settled on my lap, her knees by my hips. My arms holding her tightly to me as we continued to kiss. We parted breathlessly and she stroked my face gently as she looked down at me.

“You are so very beautiful,” she whispered to me before laying a much gentler kiss on my lips.

“So are you,” I said as slid my hands down her back and underneath her shirt to settle them against her waist making her shiver.

“Are you very tired?”

I chuckled and replied, “I am and so are you. We should both get some rest before your generals need something that deprives either one of us of it.”

She nodded reluctantly and with a parting kiss, climbed off me and headed to her own cot. I crawled underneath the furs and settled myself comfortably already feeling sleep call to me.

“Sleep well, Rook,” she said quietly.

“Sleep well, Lex,” I answered and that was the last thing I said before I fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

The next morning, I woke up stiff, stifling a groan as I sat up and stretched slowly. I looked over at Lexa’s cot and noted that she seemed to already be up for the day. I frowned slightly at the fact that she seemed to have let me sleep in. I pulled on the pants from the night before and searched through the pack for a clean shirt and the herbs Nyko had given me for the pain. I finished dressing and found food waiting for me with a steaming mug and a note telling me that a tea had already been prepared for me. I sighed and couldn’t help the smile that crossed my lips at Lexa’s thoughtfulness. I ate quickly before leaving the sleeping quarters. I found her looking over the map of the camp, alone for the moment as I came to stand beside her.

“Did you sleep well,” she asked me, not looking up.

“I slept like someone that needed sleep,” I replied. “Heavily. You let me sleep in.”

“I did. You needed it, Rook,” she said, looking up at me, concern etched on her face. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore and still a bit stiff. Once I get moving around I should be okay. Thanks for the tea, by the way,” I answered with a grin.

She shook her head slightly at my apparent good mood, “Your welcome. I knew you’d be looking for it first thing.” Then pointed at the camp on the map, “They’ve gathered outside the main structure and seem to be waiting. The scouts have noticed packs among them.”

I nodded, “It seems that they are prepared to leave. Which is what we want, correct?”

“It is. If they do start marching, we’ll push them towards the Wastelands,” she answered.

I grimaced, “From what I’ve learned about the Wastelands, they’ll only last as long as their water will.”

“That is true, but _Azgeda_ borders it on the west and will not tolerate any crossing into their borders, but they may attack them to capture slaves,” she said, looking at me.

“And you don’t care as long as they do it outside _Trikru_ lands.”

She nodded, “I’m sure that’s not something that you want to hear…”

I gave her a crooked smile and replied, “It’s fine. I’m no longer _Skaikru_ , remember? I just hold their knowledge and once they leave Alpha Station, I’ll be able to figure out what they’ve left behind and see if we’ll be able to use it. Maybe talk you into keeping it running to have hot showers and be really clean again?”

She laughed, “So, you wish to keep it for it’s luxuries?”

I shrugged, “A girl’s gotta have priorities and I could probably use the servers to gain more insight into the Mountain and repurpose some of the material to help against them.”

She nodded, “That’s not a bad idea, but this all weighs on them leaving the camp without destroying it.”

“True. So, last night you said that you had a plan to utilize me. Can you tell me what it is now?”

She nodded, “There have been fighting pits set up throughout the camp to ease some of the tension of the warriors as we wait to see what the Skaikru camp decides to do. I’d like to have you spar with a few of them to further cement your role here among us.”

“I guess, I’m up for that,” I said, mentally running over how I felt. “As long as it’s understood that the goal is to wound and not kill.”

“As long as you remember to keep your forearm and hand protected.”

“Yeah, I’m not liable to forget. One time is enough for me. Let me finish dressing and we can head over to which ever you think will give them the best show,” I said, turning back towards the sleeping quarters.

“You’ve been awfully agreeable about placing yourself in harm’s way, Rook,” she said as she followed me.

I unbraided and hastily rebraided my hair as I looked over at her and shrugged, “You think I am seeking death, don’t you?”

“Your reaction to Ava’s death does seem to give the thought that you may not want to live without her,” she answered cautiously.

I sighed and said, “I know. I’m not seeking death, but I’m not avoiding it either. And I’m not actively trying to put myself in harm’s way. I need to train regardless that there’s an ulterior motive for it. I need the experience.”

“And you are sure that you are well enough?”

I smiled and grabbed her by the shoulders and held her at arm’s length, “Yes. Lexa, you are my Commander, not my mother and I am a grown woman. If I get hurt, it will be my own fault and not yours. Stop worrying so much.”

She sighed and stepped away, “I know this. And I know that I am acting irrationally when it comes to you. I just cannot seem to help it.”

“Regardless, Lexa. I need you to act as the Commander. This army needs that as well. You cannot react openly if anything should happen to me. Please, try and remember that,” I said looking at her sternly.

She nodded and squared her shoulders, making me smile. She began putting her own armor on, but I stopped her. She gave me a slight nod and I finished strapping it on her. Knowing the intimacy of the act and that she had allowed it gave me a pleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I was done, I leaned over a gave her a soft kiss on her lips. She smiled as she laid a hand on my cheek before she turned and applied her warpaint. 

The transformation from Lexa to Commander was nearly instantaneous. Her eyes shown like jade. Sharp and penetrating, they could pierce into the deepest recesses of your soul. I inhaled sharply as our gazes met in the reflection of the small mirror she held. Seeing the small upward quirk of her eyebrow broke the trance and I smirked.

“I was wondering when I’d meet the Commander,” I said, smirking still. “Now I understand what you meant when you said that others call you intimidating. With that stoic façade combined with the warpaint and gear, you are definitely intimidating.”

She put the mirror down and turned to face me, her eyes softened and I saw Lexa return front and center, a smirk of her own forming, “You say the most charming things, Rook.”

I grinned, shrugging, “I try. We should head out now.”

She nodded, “You’re right, of course.”

Standing, her Commander persona in place. I followed her out of the tent. We traveled a bit until we came across a pit that seemed to have a mix of several clans pitting themselves against one another. We stood calmly by as we observed, unnoticed, for the moment which allowed me to look at the way they fought. I was able to make out Blue Cliff, Broadleaf, Desert, and _Azgeda_ as they moved about and now understood why she had brought me here. These clans were her toughest critics. The ones most likely to have issues with my true origin once it was out in the open. 

I rolled my neck and shook out my limbs a bit before I glanced over at her. She gave me a slight nod and unsheathing my sword stepped into the pit. Ignoring those around me, I stretched myself out more fully and took a few practice swings with the sword. The fighting around me slowed until there were no more clashes of sword, but there was an increase of voices picking up. I purposefully made myself look weaker than I was and noticed some jeering coming from the side. I glanced over and noticed that it was a couple of Azgeda warriors sneering and laughing at me. When they caught me looking, they stopped and one of them began to approach me. As if that was the signal, several others began to do the same, loosely encircling me. I held my feet shoulder width apart and my sword hung loose by my side as I waited.

“The Mighty _Pakripa_ ,” the man sneered. “I’ve heard talk of you.”

“Oh,” I said, curiously. “And what have you heard?”

“That you’ve cleaved a target in half. That your throw of spear is so great that you split a tree in half.”

I shrugged, “An axe split the tree, not a spear. The spear was thrown over two hundred feet. People are always mixing those up.”

“They speak of your strength, but not your skill of sword. I can see why.”

I feigned surprise, “You can?!”

He nodded curtly, “You have no skill.”

“Well, I mean, I have _some_ skill. Not the greatest, but that’s why I’m here. Could use the practice,” I replied, shrugging.

That seemed to be all the invitation the man needed. With a roar he swung his sword up and over as he charged me. I backed away clumsily and blocked his attack. This sent a roar through the crowd that had gathered, spurring him on. He continued his attacks, driving me back, trying to drop me to the ground. I continued the charade of having barely any skill for a bit until I had moved around to bring Lexa into view. I glanced up at her as I avoided another attempt and she gave me a slight nod of permission. With a suddenly wicked grin, I turned the tables on the man and he soon found it difficult to keep me from landing hits on him. He had realized his mistake, but it was too late. In a swift attack, my pommel met his temple and he crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

I glanced around the pit and saw uncertainty in the eyes of the warriors around me. There was also anger in some of their posturing and I crooked my finger to one of them. He accepted the unspoken challenge and came at me. Once our swords clashed several times, I found myself fighting more than one opponent at a time. They had decided to take me all at once, forcing me to use every skill I had learned in the few months I’d been training to keep ahead of them and stay intact. Slowly, but surely, with new bruises appearing, I defeated them. I was beginning to tire, and I knew that there wasn’t much more left in me if I couldn’t end this soon. It was when I was faced off with the last two that we heard the Commander’s voice calling out over the crowd to stop the fight. I immediately stepped back in answer to her command, but the two had other ideas. They shared a quick glance before they charged me. I had no choice but to step into their attacks and bring them both down in a far bloodier manner than this was meant to be. One went down, blood pouring from her throat after my sword had slashed its way across. The other suffered a broken neck as their sword bit into my side and I grabbed their head and quickly snapped it. The sword slid out as his body crumbled. I sheathed my sword, ignoring the wound bleeding steadily down my side. I stood in the middle unmoving, breathing hard, as I looked out over the gathering crowd. Wordlessly daring any to challenge me. No one moved except to remove the two warriors I had been forced to kill.

After a moment, I slowly made my way to the Commander and as one we turned to walk back to the Command Tent. The warriors that had watched parted like the sea before us. The wound in my side growing more painful as we walked back. I wanted nothing more than to stumble into the sleeping quarters and pass out, but I refrained. When we entered, she emptied the tent and I did walk over to my cot, but it was only to remove the armor and outer layers of my clothes. I looked down at my side and made a face when I saw that it needed stitches instead of a simple cauterize. I upended my pack, emptying its contents onto my cot as I rummaged around for the healer’s kit, I knew Nyko had given me.

“Do we have some strong alcohol, Lexa,” I asked as I searched, coating everything with a touch of blood.

“I believe some of the Glowing Forest clan members prefer a stronger drink than most of us. Would that work,” she asked.

“Yes. Could you send for some,” I asked, looking over my shoulder at her.

“Of course,” she said and quickly strode to the entrance of the tent and spoke with someone.

I finally found what I was looking for and headed out to the main tent where there was better light. I laid it out and delicately pulled out the slightly hooked needle and tough thread that would keep the wound sealed. Lexa brought over a candle to the table I was leaning on. Taking the needle and thread, she threaded it and sterilized the needle with the flame. I leaned against the table, applying more pressure to the wound as I waited for the alcohol to arrive.

“Let me see,” Lexa said as she approached me.

I lifted the bandage off and she gently examined it, her fingers barely touching me and making me shiver at the slight contact. I closed my eyes as the shivers sent lances of pain radiating from it. She finally stepped back, and I could find myself breathing easier. I applied pressure to the wound once more and resigned myself to wait.

“I’m not going to get in trouble for killing those two, am I,” I asked, looking over at her as she resumed her seat on the throne.

“No. They disobeyed my command,” she replied.

“Good. So, was there a reason why you called a halt?”

“Well, beyond the fact that you’d already taken on five warriors successfully, yes. There’s been movement of someone approaching from the camp. They have already sent word that they are seeking an audience with me.”

“You’ve decided to grant it.”

“I have. I’d like to see what it is that they think they can do by speaking with me.”

I snorted, “I know that they have nothing to offer to keep us from attacking. What if they offer the boy up?”

“That’ll only buy them time to leave,” she supplied. 

I nodded and there was a brief exchange of words before the tent flap opened and an attendant came in with a flask.

“The drink you requested, _Heda_ ,” the attendant said, bowing to her.

She pointed towards me and he handed it over before leaving again. I unstoppered it and sniffed at it delicately. I reared my head back as the fumes made my eyes water and my head swim slightly.

I coughed, “Oh yeah, this will do the trick. That smells more potent than what Monty could ever make.”

“Monty,” she inquired.

I grinned, “Alcohol was forbidden on the Ark even though some of our ancestors did bring it with them. Occasionally, a brave soul would make a still and make moonshine. Since Monty’s family worked on Farm Station, he had better access to the produce that we could make and created various products. Barely distilled but could still get you drunk and stay alive at the same time. Him and Jasper kept a lot of us in recreational drugs and alcohol.”

She smiled, “It seems that not all things on the Ark were bad if you can remember that pleasantly.”

I shrugged as I poured the drink directly over the wound. I gritted my teeth at the sting and stomped my foot to ride it out. I poured some more on a rag and gently cleaned it to remove any debris from the blade itself and clothing that had been embedded.

“Well, the pleasantries only happened while I was in Lockup, Lexa. With my reputation, I was often used as protection and they paid me with things of that nature. It was my way of fighting off boredom,” I said as I heated the needle to begin stitching the wound closed.

There was a knock on the tent pole outside before I could start making me look up to watch Indra and her guard enter. She looked over at me in slight confusion only to shake her head when I gave her a sideways grin.

“There’s a single woman approaching, _Heda_ ,” Indra said as she bowed her head. “None have followed her out.”

“Very well,” she replied. “We’ll wait and see what she has to say.”

“Do you want me to take this into the other room, _Heda_ ,” I asked.

“No, you will remain. I’d like to gauge her reaction seeing you standing there stitching yourself up in silence.”

I grinned, “So, no screaming. Got it. I think the drink has killed my nerves there. Can’t feel a damn thing right now. Hopefully, it’s only temporary.”

“Since it does not seem to keep Glowing Forest from speaking, I do not think you will have issues with it.”

“Very well. I’m trusting you on this. A numb arm is one thing. A numb side is another.”

She gave me a wink and I settled to begin the laborious task of stitching myself.


	16. Chapter 16

Clarke POV

It was nerve wracking to walk between the lines of silent Grounders as I made my way up to the Commander’s Tent. I had to keep myself from turning back around and hiding behind the fence. Reminding myself that there was more at stake than just preventing a war over Finn. Images of what the Mountain Men did to the Grounders flashed in my mind. The knowledge that I had left forty-seven of my people inside, kept me placing one foot in front of the other. I had made a promise to them and to Anya that I would get our people out. It was a promise that I needed to see fulfilled. 

I reached the Commander’s tent and a large man stepped in front of me, stopping me from entering.

I glanced up at him, trying to hide the fear I felt coursing through my veins. I cleared my throat and said, “I wish to speak with your Commander.”

A female voice from inside spoke but it was in their language. I didn’t understand the words spoken but the man did.

He stepped aside to allow me to pass, but before I did, he said, “If you so much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat.”

I glanced up at him and saw the threat to be true and hid a shudder that threatened to buckle my knees. I took a deep breath and entered the tent, the man following closely behind me. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but what I saw wasn’t quite it. All eyes had turned to me as I stepped through, making me stop a few feet from the interest. I was being openly glared at by the majority of those inside except for two of them. The woman sitting on a throne-like chair barely registered my appearance. Rather, she seemed more interested in spinning a dagger on the arm of the chair. The other woman that caught my glance was looking at me curiously. She was only dressed in pants and a bra of some kind, blood running down her side from a wound that she was stitching up. There was something familiar about her. My eyes widened in surprise as I recognized her face tattoo. She had been shot by Finn at the village, nearly impaling him with a spear if Murphy hadn’t tackled him to the ground. She had been wrestled to the ground as she tried to come after him and knocked out before being carried away. I closed my eyes briefly at the memory and I heard a soft snort of derision coming from her direction.

Looking at her again, she had returned her attention to her wound and was resuming her stitching. I watched silently as she didn’t flinch or make a sound. A small part of my brain recognized it as an intimidation tactic, but it was still shocking to witness. I wondered if she had used a numbing agent to be able to do it, but the woman sitting on the throne drew my attention once more.

Finally speaking, the woman on the throne said, “You’re the one who burned three hundred of my warriors alive.”

I looked at her and unwaveringly replied, “You’re the one who sent them there to kill us.”

The twirling of her dagger stopped as she glanced up at me and I was taken aback by the striking shade of green of her eyes and it took me a moment to remember how to breathe, but I waited her out.

“Do you have an answer for me. Clarke of the Sky People?”

The tension in the room became heavier and the only movement came from the woman stitching herself.

I stepped closer and said, “I’ve come to make you an offer.”

“This is not a negotiation.”

“ _Let me kill her and get this over with_ ,” the dark-skinned woman said, her hand gripping the hilt of her sword tightly making no mistake that she was threatening me.

Ignoring the threat, I said, “I can help you beat the Mountain Men.”

There was a scoff from the woman at the table and she spoke, her voice hoarse, “It is impossible to defeat them. You lie.”

“ _Pakripa_ ,” the woman, the Commander, silenced her but she let out a growl of annoyance. “Go on.”

I took a deep breath and continued, “Hundreds of your people are trapped inside Mount Weather, kept in cages. Their blood is used as medicine,” I said.

“How do you know this,” the Commander asked suspiciously.

“Because I saw them,” I replied, standing up straighter. “My people are prisoners there, too. I was one of them.”

“Lies,” the dark-skinned woman cried. “No one escapes the mountain.”

I turned my head to look at her and replied, defiantly, “ _I_ did. With Anya. We fought our way out together.”

“Another lie. Anya died in the fire. You killed her.”

“Do you have proof saying otherwise,” the other woman asked as she turned her grey eyes on me. The color of her eyes seemed hauntingly familiar. I wanted to take the time and search my memories for an answer, but I had a mission to accomplish. So, I pushed forward.

I nodded and reached slowly into my jacket, turning my gaze back to the Commander, “She told me that you were her Second, Commander. I’m sure she’d want you to have this.”

I pulled out a braid of Anya’s hair and held it out towards the Commander. The burly man took the braid from my hand and gave it to her to look at.

“We don’t even know if it’s hers,” the woman cried.

“ _Shof op, Indra_ ,” the Commander said. “Anya was my mentor before I was called to lead my people.”

There was a moment as nobody said a word and then she asked, “Did she die well?”

I nodded, “Yes. By my side, trying to get a message to you.”

“What message,” she asked, looking at me intently, her green eyes flashing suspiciously.

“The only way to save both our people is if we join together.”

“Those who are about to die will say anything,” Indra spouted angrily.

“The Mountain Men are turning your people into Reapers,” I argued. “I can turn them back.”

That caused a reaction as Indra cried, “Impossible. _Heda, I beg you, let me kill her_.”

I pushed on, “I’ve done it with Lincoln.”

Indra approached me quickly, her hand on her sword and pulling it out slightly, “That traitor is the reason…”

“Indra,” the Commander warned.

“…why my village was slaughtered by your people…”

“ _Em pleni_ ,” the Commander yelled out, stopping her from harming me. “ _Pakripa_?”

I turned my attention to the woman, who had been about done stitching herself up and the question made her pause. I wasn’t sure what the woman’s opinion could bring, but I wasn’t beyond looking for help.

“ _Mebi_ ,” she replied. “ _They have healer knowledge that has been lost to us, so it is possible_.”

The Commander gave her a nod and then said to me, “You say you can turn Reapers back into men.”

I nodded, “Yes.”

“Then prove it. Show me Lincoln.”

I almost wilted in relief, but then tensed again hoping that my mom would be able to save Lincoln. I hoped that I would not be proven wrong. I took a deep shuddering breath and said, “Of course. I can take you to him now.”

There was a grunt and I swung my head over to _Pakripa_ who had just finished stitching herself up. I watched as she took something and rubbed it over the stitches before placing a bandage over it. She began to wrap another one to hold it in place, but I could see that she was going to have difficulty and without thinking, I stepped forward to help her. She stepped back and glared at me, her hand holding a dagger that I hadn’t seen.

“Let her,” the Commander told her. I watched as she relaxed immediately and set the dagger back on the table.

I walked up to her cautiously and taking the bandage from her hand, began to wrap it around her stomach. Closer to her, I couldn’t help but admire the scars that lined her torso or the tattoos that covered nearly half of her chest. I heard her breath hitch as her stomach clenched when I accidentally grazed her skin with a nail. I chanced a glance up at her and I was struck again by the familiarity of her eyes. They looked the color of storm clouds beginning to form as she watched me with an unwavering gaze. When I was done, she stepped away from me quickly and headed into a separate part of the tent.

When she re-emerged fully clothed and ready to go, the Commander stood, and we headed out of the tent and made our way to the dropship. I had to make sure that _Pakripa_ stayed out or the Commander would find out that Finn was there. If she did, I wasn’t sure that my plan would work.


	17. Chapter 17

ROOK

The walk was short and soon the familiarity of the surroundings brought the memories of first arriving on the ground and the gut-wrenching journey to it. As we neared the dropship, the ground began to betray the obvious signs of battle. Broken limbs, grass pounded into the ground. Limbs still discolored by those that had bled and died. It wasn’t until we came to what was left of the wall, that all, but Clarke slowed down. As we entered, the ground burned and the charred remains of those inside the blast area became all that I could see. I swallowed thickly and sorrow filled my chest at the wasted lives that had been lost. Those of both peoples. It had been war, but it did not ease the loss of so many.

I could feel Lexa’s mix of emotions through our bond and it slightly colored my own even though I had been far away from the battlefield. If I had not wandered off, my fate could have very well been decided here. Lexa looked back at me and I nodded slightly. Clarke stopped us before the ramp and turned her attention to Lexa.

“We don’t need everyone up there, Commander,” Clarke said, looking directly at me, letting me know that she recognized me from the village. “The space is small and there are already several people up there, including your healer, Nyko.”

“There is something up there that she doesn’t want me to see,” I thought to Lexa.

Lexa betrayed nothing as she said, “Very well, Pakripa and Ryder will remain here to stand guard. Shall we continue?”

“What do you think is up there,” Lexa thought back to me as they entered the dropship.

“Finn,” was all I replied as I stood opposite from Ryder. “Finn is up there and she does not want to risk him.”

“We shall let her continue to think that he is safe from us for the moment.”

“Yes, Commander.”

I listened as their steps echoed out to us as they ascended the ladder. It sounded like they traveled all the way up to the third level. If that was the case, the space was indeed small and would have been crowded had everyone entered. It wasn’t long before a roar of outrage could be heard and we both stepped into the ship with our swords drawn. I walked cautiously towards the ladder, looking up when I heard the sound of a shock baton being used suddenly, but no other sound came down. It sounded a second time and there was a collective gasp of surprise.

“ _Commander_ ,” I called up. “ _Is everything alright_?”

“ _It worked. Lincoln is alive and not a Reaper_ ,” she called down. “ _Stand down and wait_.”

“ _Sha, Heda_ ,” I replied and signaled Ryder to return to his post. I followed him out and we waited for them to eventually come back down.

“ _What does it mean, Pakripa_ ,” he asked as I settled myself.

“ _It means that we can get our people back_ ,” I replied. “ _All of them_.”

He looked at me in shock and I nodded grimly. The only question was how we were going to do it. We had no way to get close enough to the source without either dying of the fog or getting captured by the Reapers and enslaved ourselves.

Eventually, we heard the tell-tale signs of them descending the ladder and we looked at the entrance expectantly. They slowly emerged and they had varying looks of shock and awe. _Skaikru_ stayed within the confines of the ship and Nyko was the last to leave. An idea formed in my head and I decided to voice it.

“Commander, I would like to speak with Nyko before he heads back to Tondc. May I?”

She looked at me questioningly, but then acquiesced, “Very well. Make sure that you speak quickly. I need you back at camp as soon as possible.”

I bowed my head in acknowledgement and Nyko came to stand beside me as we watched them leave with Clarke in tow. Clarke looked back with a look of trepidation, but I schooled my features to reveal nothing.

“What is it you wish to discuss, _Pakripa_ ,” Nyko asked me.

I switched languages and said, “ _Nothing really. I just want to put Finn on edge_.”

“ _So, you know that he is here_ ,” he asked, looking at me in wonder.

“ _Clarke did not want me to go up there. It was an educated guess. You’ve just confirmed it_.”

“ _The Commander has allowed them all free passage back to the Skaikru camp. No harm shall befall any of them_.”

“ _I will not disobey her, old friend. He’s safe, for now_.”

I heard them descend and they stayed on the inside of the curtain that separated us. I continued to chat with Nyko for as long as possible before I had to return.

 

OCTAVIA POV

 

I watched nervously as Nyko spoke with the woman I recognized from when I helped rescue those that had been captured by the Reapers.

“I wish I knew what they were saying,” I said to no one in particular.

“They are talking about the fact that she knows Finn is here,” Lincoln said, quietly still in a lot of pain. “Clarke recognized her from the village and did not want her to know about him.”

“What else are they saying,” Abby asked worriedly. “The Commander assured us of safe passage.”

“She knows and will not disobey,” he answered. “She’s doing it to intimidate Finn.”

“Well, she’s doing a damn good job of it. She almost impaled me and would have if Murphy hadn’t tackled me,” Finn replied.

I glanced outside the curtain and I watched as she disrobed, taking off her armor and removing her shirt.

“He’s examining her,” I told them. “She’s got a bandage around her stomach. My god, I can see scars from here. They look like they’re from an animal.”

Lincoln asked, “Has Nyko referred to her by name?”

“No, but I remember that Indra called her _Pakripa_ ,” I answered. “Is that important.”

“She must be the one that killed the White Wolf,” he replied in awe. “The wolf had been able to avoid every hunter and trap that was set out to kill her. I remember seeing the tracks once. They were huge compared to a regular wolf. It must have been a great battle.”

Suddenly, her voice rang out, “I know you’re in there, Finn! You’ve only bought yourself time! Your death is inevitable! You murdered my lover! My blood brother! Men and Women! None of them deserved to die! Are you willing to let your own people suffer death as you cower behind them in fear?! The Commander will not stand to allow a murderer to go free! Not while justice has yet to be served! Step out of the camp, there will be no place you can hide! No one to shelter you! You will die eighteen times! Be a man and turn yourself in before more innocents die because of you!”

The look of fear and shame on his face was enough to make me curl my lip in disgust. I had known Artigas and he would have become a fine warrior that would have made his village and family proud. Even Lincoln looked at him in disdain. Only Bellamy and Abby looked horrified at the prospect of him losing his life for what they considered a mistake.

I glanced outside the curtain and saw them heading out. They parted ways at the entrance and I waited about ten minutes before I signaled them that it was safe to leave. It was a long walk back and as we walked, I felt my anger at his actions and his refusal to turn himself over to the Grounders build. I would not help them keep him safe, but I would also not turn him over. _Pakripa_ was right, his fate was already sealed. It just depended on how many more lives he would take down with him.


	18. Chapter 18

Rook POV

 

By the time I returned to camp, my temper had cooled sufficiently enough that I felt that I could enter the Commander’s Tent and not fly off the handle. My hip was beginning to throb and I was in dire need of the tea that would ease it. Without thought, I walked in and found Clarke still here. I scoffed and ignoring her, headed behind the curtain. I grabbed the satchel of herbs I needed to make the tea and walked back out. Lexa looked at me questioningly.

“He is still alive,” I said to her unspoken question. “I’m headed to the mess to get a mug of hot water. Do you wish for me to bring back our evening meal, Commander?”

“I would,” she replied, evenly.

“Will she be joining us?”

“No. She’s heading back to her camp accompanied by two riders.”

“So, she knows the terms then?”

“She does.”

“How long.”

“End of day tomorrow.”

“Good. The men will look forward to war since they have been denied thus far.”

She gave me a look and I shrugged. I knew that they would not turn him over to us, especially Clarke. The Chancellor may, but if his friends found out that her decision was to hand him over, they would try to spirit him away.

“You are dismissed, _Pakripa_ ,” she answered coolly.

“As you command,” I replied, bowing and leaving the tent once more.

When I returned, I could see the torches of the riders making their way to the camp and the time was now ticking. I found Lexa taking off her armor and wiping off her war paint.

“Hungry,” I asked as I laid the tray of food on the table with the map.

“Very,” she said, turning around. “Get rid of that armor, Rook.”

I grinned, “Gladly.”

I unhooked the pauldron and tossed it onto my cot. The brace and glove following. I grabbed a rag and wiped the sweat that had gathered on my hand. I removed all my weapons except for a dagger on my hip. Lastly, my jacket came off and I hung that over my cloak. I walked back out into the main part of the tent.

“You drove home the idea that war is inevitable,” she said, looking up at me as she handed me a mug of tea.

“Clarke will not give him up,” I replied. “Her and her friends will try to get him away from here if the Chancellor decides to turn him over. So, war is inevitable.”

I leaned against the table and drank my tea, looking down at her and she said, “Don’t try that look of intimidation on me. It won’t work since I agree with you. She shows that kind of defiance. She’s also shown great strength.”

I nodded, “It was becoming evident while I was still at the camp. She was fast becoming a leader that the others listened to her. You respect her.”

She nodded, “She demands respect, Rook. She was born to lead, her actions this afternoon prove it.”

“She will be a force to reckon with if this truce is formed.”

“I agree. You’ve handled yourself well today,” she said as she continued to eat.

I nodded in acknowledgement, “That was another reason I stayed behind. I knew that if I walked back with you, I would only grow angry because you allowed him to stay. So, I felt it best to not bring such dishonor to you.”

“You’re learning,” she said smiling

“I had to sometime,” I said and leaned down to kiss her, tasting the grease from the meat on her lips.

She held me in place with her hand on the back of my head as she demanded a deeper kiss. I pulled her up and closer and leaned her against the table. She moaned as I began trailing kisses down her jaw and neck. She pulled my mouth roughly back up to hers before I could travel down lower. My hands gripped her waist tighter as I lifted her the short distance to the table and slid my hands down her thighs until they rested on her knees, pushing them apart as I stepped into them. Her legs wrapped loosely around mine as she leaned her head back, inviting me to kiss lower. When I leaned her further back to bring her breasts closer, she laid a hand on my chest and pushed me back. Our breathing was already coming hard, my pulse raced as a familiar sensation began to throb slowly.

“Are you sure,” she whispered, forcing me to look at her. “As much as I am enjoying this, Rook, I do not want you to feel obligated to consummate what we feel for one another.”

I leaned my head forward until we were touching and thought about it. It was true that I’d only just lost Ava and my grief was still heavy on my heart, regardless of what I had told her the other day. In truth, I didn’t know if I was doing this because I was ready or if I just missed being close to someone. After months of having Ava by my side and to suddenly not have her there, I missed that that kind of connection. When Lexa looked at me as she had been, I was reminded of how Ava looked at me. How good it made me feel to know that someone desired me. Maybe it was a result of the way I was raised that made me want to keep Lexa looking at me like that. To keep her interested in me that maybe if I didn’t, she would no longer want me.

Coming to a decision, I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I took in her scent. The woodsy scent of a forest in full bloom right after a rain storm. I could also smell her arousal. She wanted this, but I think she was right. I wasn’t ready.

I moved my head until I could kiss her. Far more gently than I had before and said, “You’re right. I’m not ready to go further. As much as I want you, I’m not ready. I’m sorry.”

She raised her hand and gently stroked my face, a look of gentleness and understanding in her eyes as she said softly, “You don’t need to apologize, Rook. I understand. Probably more than most. You’re the first person that I’ve come across that has made me feel this way in a long time. The pain of losing Costia made me shut off those emotions. I began to listen to Titus, my _Fleimkepa_ , and his teachings that love is weakness and that to be _Heda_ is to be alone. I think…I think I listened because I was afraid of getting hurt again. My life is constantly in danger and I am not allowed to live as freely as our people, Rook. You understood this from the very beginning and I thank you for that.”

I nodded and I couldn’t help the tear that escaped as I felt both of our sadness and grief. She gently swiped it away with her thumb and I closed my eyes at her touch. We were like two lost souls who had found each other. Not soulmates, but we both understood the pain of loss and loneliness. Maybe that’s what drew us together. We were lonely and at the same time, we both needed someone who could understand and support one another. She felt that she could be herself around me and I felt the calmness that I had been missing since losing Ava. In a way, we grounded each other.

I stepped back slightly so that I could look at her better. Searching her eyes, I saw nothing but understanding, so I asked, “Would it…would it be okay if we shared a bed? I miss sleeping with someone and holding them.”

She gave me a smile and replied, “I’d like that. Let’s go to bed.”

I returned her smile and gave her one last kiss before we separated and began getting ready for bed. She let the guards know that we weren’t to be disturbed unless it was an emergency as I began dousing the myriad of candles that adorned the main tent. Silently, we got ready and I had to stop a moment as I took her in. I finally got to see the tattoo that adorned her right bicep and the one that ran down her spine when her back was turned to me. 

When we were done, she crawled underneath her furs and held them open for me. I climbed in and we settled ourselves comfortably wrapped around each other. It felt good to hold someone again even if it wasn’t Ava, but I was glad that it was someone that I had feelings for and not some stranger. We stared into each other’s eyes, a small smile on our faces, and I leaned in to kiss her gently. It surprised me when she snuggled into me, burying her head underneath my chin.

As I closed my eyes, I whispered, “ _Reshop, Leksa_.”

“ _Reshop, Rook_ ,” she mumbled into my chest and with those words, we fell into an easy slumber.

I woke in the early pre-dawn to find her curled up on my left side, a leg thrown over mine and her head pillowed on my shoulder. I laid there just enjoying the feeling of her soft breaths against my chest and the warmth her body provided. Holding Lexa was different from holding Ava. Where Ava was soft and pliant, Lexa was toned muscle. In sleep, she was boneless and the tension that seemed ever present while she was awake was not there. It made me feel good that she felt that she could be that free with me. I felt her breathing shift and her arm around my waist tighten as she began to wake. I lifted my hand and ran it down her arm gently. She shivered lightly making me chuckle softly. She shifted until we could look at each other more comfortably and with a soft smile, leaned up to kiss me.

When we parted, she laid her head back down and I could hear the sigh of contentment that escaped her lips.

“Did you sleep well,” I asked softly, my voice slightly gravelly from sleep.

She nodded, “I did. You?”

“One of the better nights that I’ve had in the last couple of weeks,” I admitted. “Thank you for this.”

She sat up slightly to look at me, her eyes held understanding as she replied, “You don’t have to thank me, Rook.”

“I know,” I said, smiling and pulled her head down for another kiss.

We ended up kissing for a while and it wasn’t until we began to hear the camp stirring that we brought ourselves out of our little bubble. Reluctantly, we got up and I went to the front of the tent and ordered breakfast and hot water to be brought to us. When I got back, she was already beginning to get dressed.

Before I could begin changing, she stopped me and said, “Let me look at your wound. The bandage needs to be changed anyway.”

I nodded and began unwrapping the bandages. With gentle fingers, she cleaned the area and ran them over the stitches. By that time, our food and the hot water had arrived. Taking some of the water, she cleaned it again before reapplying the salve and redressing the wound.

“Does it pain you,” she asked as she finished. “It looks well on its way to being healed.”

“It hurts,” I told her, “but not too badly. I won’t be training today, that’s for sure. I don’t want to rip out the stitches.”

“After yesterday, I wouldn’t expect you to,” she said as she straightened and then looked at the cauterized sword wound. She glanced at me in surprise and said, “It looks like it’s been there for over a week, Rook, even though it’s only been a few days.”

I looked down and then nodded, “Yes. It looks like my skin heals quickly, but my hip is still a bit bothersome. I guess injuries to the bones takes longer.”

“What about your knee,” she asked, looking at me a little worriedly.

I sat down and pulled up the leg of my sleeping pants to look at it more closely. I prodded it slightly and noticed that it was a bit swollen and there was some residual pain when I pushed.

I sighed, “It’s the same as my hip. There’s swelling around it still. Gustus hit them both harder than I expected.”

“Then you will take it easy today,” she said authoritatively making me snap up to look at her. “Don’t give me that look. You are no good to me if you injure yourself further by doing too much too soon.”

I nodded in understanding, “I understand. What’re your plans for today?”

“Just making sure that the camp is in order,” came her reply. “A meeting with the generals to go over plans if _Skaikru_ refuse to hand the boy over.”

“I’ll walk with you during your inspection and then rest afterwards. I want to show them that the injury does not keep me from doing my duty.”

“You do not wish to look weak,” she said with a look of surprise and pride.

I chuckled, “No, I don’t. Your people, our people, take great pride in their strength or the ability to appear strong. Even though I took on seven warriors from different clans and beat them, I cannot afford to show them any kind of weakness. It would look poorly on not only myself, but you, Indra, and Tondc. Which is not something we can afford doing, especially since Clarke was able to defeat the small army you sent to wipe them out. Word will eventually get out that I was once _Skaikru_ and it’s important that I stand out from them.”

She nodded in understanding, “I see your point. I don’t like it, but I think it’s only because I am beginning to care for you greatly. You continue to surprise me with how quickly you understand our culture.”

I chuckled and shrugged, “Honestly, it comes from having many conversations with Ava and Nyko. And the questions that Indra has asked me. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get ready and eat something. We have a long day in front of us and the sooner we get started, the sooner it will end.”

She smiled and gave me a chaste kiss, “I couldn’t agree with you more.”

With that she left me alone to get ready. When I emerged, she was already going over reports as she ate. I made myself a plate and began eating. I was surprised at how comfortable it was as I listened to her mumble quietly to herself as we ate. There was no need to fill the space with talk. Once we were both done, we headed out.

It was midmorning when the riders that had been sent to escort Clarke back to her camp returned with the news that Skaikru was prepared to go to war. I could only sigh and shake my head at their foolishness. Lexa sent Kane over to the camp at about that time, having brought him up the night before in anticipation of such a thing. I was not expecting much to come out of it since he voiced an alternative to have him tried by the Skaikru council. When I told her the possible outcomes of such an action, she grumbled in displeasure and I knew that she would allow no such thing from taking place. He would come to us or they would die.

It was shortly after the midday meal when a horn sounded in the forest. He had been spotted in the woods. Lexa sent Indra and a few warriors to go after him. I suggested that they head to the dropship since that seemed to be their go to place to stage from.

I got up and headed behind the curtain to lay down since I knew the day would be longer and I wanted to make sure that my hip would not bother me. She followed and sat by me on the cot.

“You were right,” she said softly

I looked up at her and replied, “Does not mean that I am happy about it, Lexa. They’ve taken the cowards way and it only makes them look weak before our army. It places the truce on more dangerous grounds.”

“Which means that there may be attempts to end it before the alliance is cemented,” she said, nodding.

“Yes. You must tread carefully until this is over. Clarke has proven that she will do whatever it takes to keep her people safe. I don’t think that Clarke likes what Finn has done. Maybe even abhors it, but because she cares for him, she will do anything to save him. It would be best to keep a close eye on her.”

“You believe that she will continue to try to save him even after we have captured him? What about Kane and the Chancellor?”

I thought about it and said, “Yes, she will. Now, with Kane and the Chancellor…once we have him, they will not interfere. They won’t want to risk your wrath. They will err on the side of caution knowing that this is the best chance for their people.”

She hummed and leaned down to kiss me, “Rest now, Rook. It will be awhile before I need you again.”

I grinned, “That is what I figured.”

“You can be very trying sometimes.”

“I blame the _Keryon kom Pakstoka_ for my impertinence.”

She laughed, “I seriously doubt that the wolf is the reason for your behavior.”

I laughed, “You are right. I admit it, I just like doing it.”

“As long as you do not act this way in front of the wrong people, I do not mind it so much. It makes me feel normal.”

I reached up and brought her in for another kiss and said quietly, “I’m glad I can give you that, Lexa.”

“So am I. Now, rest so that you are ready when I need you,” she said getting up.

“Thank you,” I replied and closed my eyes.

She headed back out into the throne room. I dozed but did not wake when Indra returned with the news that we now had Finn in custody and Lexa ordered preparations to be made for ritual to be done after night had fallen. She woke me up for the evening meal and I dressed in full armor afterwards.

The army was already showing anticipation and I found it hard not to start feeling the same. I looked over at the pole that Finn would be tied to and I could not help the flash of memory that raced through my mind as my body remembered being tied and the cuts of the knives going across my body. Lexa looked over at me and I knew she felt the flash of fear and pain coming from me. She came over and laid a hand on my chest in sympathy, but I only smiled and shook my head.

“Commander, don’t let them see you treat me this way,” I said quietly. “I chose to subject myself to the beating and subsequent ritual. You did not hold a knife to my throat, you only asked. Let it go.”

She nodded, “Alright. I will let it go. After tonight, you will finally have some peace.”

“I already have peace. This is just about ending what was started. Ava’s spirit. Artigas’ spirit. All the others. They will finally be allowed to have their peace.”

She nodded and stepped away from me and Indra came to stand next to me. I looked at her gratefully and she gave me a sympathetic nod. We watched as Finn was dragged to the pole. Fear evident on his face. He couldn’t even take it as a man and I could still see that he hoped for leniency. I scoffed but remained steadfast. His suffering would end mine and I was most heartedly looking forward to it.


	19. Chapter 19 - Lexa

LEXA POV

I spared a glance toward Rook and saw the scowl on her face as she watched the boy being led by his guard. I sighed, relieved that my promise to her would finally be fulfilled. Ava’s murderer would finally face justice and we could both move on with whatever was happening between us. Though meeting Clarke sent me down another path and I couldn’t help that my mind seemed to turn to her frequently. 

A noise from the _Skaikru_ camp drew my attention and I watched as a now familiar blonde began making her way into the camp. I frowned and withdrew seeing her as she made her way closer to us. I was curious to see what she wanted, but I had a feeling she was going to try one last time to dissuade me from doing what must be done. I looked over towards Indra and Rook and noticed that they had also taken note of the girl. They had stepped away from the crowd and stood in the path leading up to the tent, blocking her way. It was Indra who leveled a spear at Clarke and I watched as she walked right up to it.

“I’m here to talk to your Commander,” she said, looking Indra right in the eye.

Neither one of them spoke, so Clarke stepped closer and I watched as she winced as the tip of the spear pierced her skin, blood darkening the shirt in front.

“Let me through,” she demanded.

She was determined to speak with me. It made me curious to see how this would play out, so I stepped out from the shadows and called out, “Let her pass.”

Indra reluctantly pulled back on the spear and they both glanced up at me for confirmation before they parted to let her through. She stopped a few feet in front of me and I took a moment to regard her.

“You bleed for nothing,” I told her. “You cannot stop this.”

“No, only you can,” she answered making me bristle at her tone. “Show my people how powerful you are. Show them you can be merciful. Show them you’re not a savage.”

I stared at her for long hard moment as she begged me with her eyes. Calling us savage. Calling _me_ savage. How dare she. How dare she call us savage when she would let a murderer of innocents go free.

A wave of concern flowed through my body and I looked behind Clarke to see Rook take a few hesitant steps towards us. I sent her a wave of reassurance and she nodded before she relaxed but kept her eyes on us. I felt gratitude for this woman that I had known for less than a month and yet had so completely broken down my walls that I found it hard to understand.

Before I could lose myself in Rook, I dispassionately replied, “We are what we are.”

A noise came from where Finn was being placed against the pole and Clarke glanced wildly at him and I could see that she was getting desperate to save him. I wondered briefly if she had a weapon on hand that we could not see, but she did nothing but turn back to me, tears beginning to fall down her face.

“Then I’m a killer. I burned three hundred of your people. I slit a man’s throat and watched him die. I’m soaked in Grounder blood. Take me.”

I couldn’t help but be taken back at her attempt to sacrifice herself, but I was not about to be swayed so I said, “But Finn is guilty.”

My heart wanted to go out to her as she became even more distressed, “No. He did it for me...He did it for me.”

I replied, softly, “Then he dies for you.”

She took a step back and looked over towards Finn once more and her shoulders dropped in defeat. She knew that she had done everything she could and that I would not budge from my decision.

She turned back to me after a moment and asked, “Can I say goodbye?”

Again, I took a moment to regard the blonde. She had shown courage and determination when she came to me yesterday, demanding an alliance. She’d shown loyalty by coming here tonight. Admirable qualities of a born leader. She was earning my respect with every action she took. So, against my better judgement, I acquiesced with a slight nod. I watched as she walked up to the boy quickly and then when she neared, she ran the rest of the way, embracing him tightly when she got to him. I felt a pang of something when I saw them kiss but ignored it as I continued to watch. It was only when she stepped back that I knew something was wrong. As if in slow motion, his head dropped and his body slumped. He was dead. The army erupted in anger, but it was Rook’s rage that made me snap my head to her.

“No,” she roared and started to head towards Clarke, her hand going to a knife at her side.

“Restrain _Pakripa_ ,” I commanded and those close to her, tackled her to the ground as she continued to scream out.

Clarke looked over at her startled and stepped back involuntarily at the apparent display of rage. She looked hastily around the army and they were barely containing themselves. They had been denied what was rightfully theirs and they wanted blood, I could feel it as palpable as the rage I was feeling from Rook. She had chosen to give the boy mercy and it would take much to calm them down.

“It is done,” I called out and then turned to the men that were pulling Rook up and holding her as she still struggled, “Bring her into the tent.”

A wail had started from the Skaikru camp and I barely glanced over before I returned my attention towards Rook and I knew that I would need to speak with Indra as well. 

The men brought Rook into the sleeping quarters to allow more privacy and with a wave of my hand, I dismissed them. I watched as Rook breathed heavily as she paced like a caged animal.

“Rook,” I said cautiously, stepping forward.

“She denied me what was rightfully mine,” she said through gritted teeth. “She took it! He was supposed to suffer! As we have suffered!”

“It’s done, Rook,” I said gently and caught her as she came close to me. “Now, she has to live with what she’s done.”

She stood rigid in my embrace, breathing hard, and on impulse I began nuzzling her neck to calm her, “It is done,” I repeated over and over until I felt her begin to relax.

She wrapped her arms around me and I felt her tears begin to fall. I could only spare her a few moments, but that seemed to be enough. 

“Thank you, Lexa,” she whispered in my hair.

I kissed her neck and looked up at her. She leaned down and kissed me gently before she stepped away to take a deep shuddering breath.

“He will still burn,” I told her. “His body will join those of his victims.”

She nodded, “I will need to begin packing then.”

“Will you be okay, now?”

She cleared her throat and said, “Whatever just happened, has helped. I will be able to make the journey and will not do anything rash.”

“Good. I’m going to let Clarke come in here to give her a moment to collect herself,” I told her. “I want you to stay here and watch over her while I placate the others.”

“No harm shall fall on her, Commander. Neither by my hand or others,” she promised.

I nodded and left as she began packing to head back to Tondc.


	20. Chapter 20 - Rook

Rook POV

I heard the tent flap move back and the shuffle of footsteps enter the throne room marking Clarke’s arrival. I continued to pack as I kept an ear out. She began to cry and I remembered that she had cared for Finn. I stopped what I was doing and peeked out from behind the curtain. She was sitting on the small dais and staring at her bloody hands blankly as tears fell from her face. I sighed feeling the need to comfort the blonde that, right now hated to admit that I still cared for and poured water into a small bowl and grabbed a rag before I headed over to her. She didn’t acknowledge me when I knelt before her and placed the bowl down. I wetted the rag and made to take her hand gently in mine, but she jerked her hand back and looked at me wildly. She tried to scramble back, but I gripped her hand tightly.

“Peace, Clarke,” I said, my voice still rather gruff with suppressed anger. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m only going to wash your hands. Alright?”

“You, you tried to come after me,” she said, staring at me wide eyed as I began gently wiping the blood away.

“Yes,” I replied, not looking up at her.

“Why?”

“You denied me what was rightfully mine, Clarke,” I said. “Finn murdered my lover and my blood brother. There was no reason why he should have done that. You said that you killed three hundred of us, but it was in defense. You were protecting yourself and others. Ava was trying to keep Artigas from going after Finn. To protect him. He shot both of them. I saw Ava fall, Clarke. She was going to be my wife.”

She replied, “I did not know. I am sorry for your loss.”

“You would not be expected to know, Clarke,” I replied finally looking up at her and I couldn’t hide the emotion from my eyes. “You may have prevented Finn from suffering, but all you have done is placed it on your own shoulders. There, your hands are free of blood.”

I leaned back and dropped the rag into the bowl of bloody water as she examined them. She rubbed them as if they were still coated and impulsively, I took them in mine to prevent her from scratching them raw. She looked up at me in confusion and I gave her a soft smile.

“There is nothing there, Clarke,” I told her. “You would scratch your hands raw if I did not stop you and what is a healer without their hands, hmm?”

She looked at me suspiciously and pulled her hands out of my grasp and I stood up to give her some space.

“How did you know that,” she accused me.

I shrugged, “When you helped me the other day.”

“I did nothing more than wrap the bandage around you.”

“Do not think that I did not notice you examining my work, Clarke. Only a healer would show interest.”

“Why do you wear a glove on your left hand,” she asked, suddenly changing the subject.

“To better protect it,” I answered. “I have no feeling below my elbow and I have already nearly bled out once because I hadn’t known I was injured. I felt it prudent to better protect myself from repeating the mistake.”

“Is _Pakripa_ your real name?”

I sighed, “No, it is not. It’s my title. It means Wolf Killer. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must finish preparing to leave.”

“Leave?”

“The Commander will explain,” I said and headed back behind the curtain.

I finished rather quickly and saw that Lexa had left me something on the cot. It was a half mask, meant to cover the upper part of my face. I sighed because it meant she wanted to keep my identity secret for longer and didn’t want to take a chance that anyone from _Skaikru_ would recognize me. I slid it over my head and adjusted the straps until it sat comfortably and then pushed it until it rested on top of my head. Lexa’s handmaidens had already packed her things and I laid my pack next to hers. I headed back out and poured myself something to drink as we continued to wait.

“You want something to drink,” I asked Clarke, who had gone back to staring blankly at her hands.

She jumped when I spoke up and she looked at me in confusion. I held up the pitcher and she nodded. I poured her a cup and handed it to her. I went back to the table and leaned against it as I drank from my cup.

“I cannot figure out why you look familiar to me,” she said suddenly.

I looked up at her sharply but said nothing.

“It’s not because I saw you in the village. It’s like I know you from before then,” she said as she stood up and walked closer to me.

“We’ve never met before the other day,” I told her.

“Maybe it’s the eyes,” she said, thinking. “I knew a girl who had eyes the same color of yours.”

“Oh, really,” I asked cautiously.

She nodded as sadness flashed across her face, “She disappeared shortly after we landed. She just walked out of camp and never came back.”

“And why do you remember her,” I asked, my curiosity now peaked.

“I remember everyone who came down with me, but it was her eyes that I always remember,” she said almost wistfully. “I knew her before we were locked up. She always helped me with my school work when I had trouble. She was very smart.”

I grunted and finished my drink, not sure how to respond to her. I hadn’t known that she had remembered me from that long ago and it twisted something inside of me that I had locked deeply away. There was a noise from outside the tent and I slid the mask over my face. She took a step back and then her mother and Kane entered. They looked at me, questioningly, but Abby seemed to have eyes only for Clarke and embraced her tightly. Clarke broke down again and I sighed at the display of weakness.

“They would’ve tortured him,” Clarke said, explaining herself to them. “I had to. I, I had to. I had to. What did I do?”

Abby murmured into her hair as she continued to hold Clarke. Kane looked at me and then back to Clarke.

He cleared his throat and said, “You did the right thing, Clarke. I, I saw them. I saw some of the ritual done on a prisoner when they held me.”

They both looked at him sharply and Clarke asked, “What do you mean?”

“Clarke,” he said, clearing his throat. “They had one of the 100. She, she had been their prisoner for a long time…and it wasn’t. I wouldn’t wish what they did to her on anybody. You, you did the right thing.”

Clarke straightened up and asked, “Who was it, Kane? Who did they have?”

He looked down at his clasped hands and then back up to her and I could see the pain in his eyes. It struck me in the feels for a moment. He actually regretted my death.

“It was Rook, Clarke,” he said, softly. “They had Rook.”

Clarke stared at me hard and she swallowed thickly before she approached me and said, “Did you know about this? Did you?!”

“I knew that we held _Skaikru_ prisoners at one point,” I said, shrugging. “Just as the Commander did.”

I stood firm and refused to react to Clarke as she stared daggers at me and fought to restrain herself from hitting me. I wasn’t expecting for Kane to admit to my supposed death, but I think he was just trying to comfort Clarke.

“What did she ever do to you,” Clarke asked me angrily.

“Me? Nothing. You invaded our lands. Killed and kidnapped our people,” I reminded her. “She must have wandered too far into our territory.”

“You don’t care, do you?!”

“Did you care about the family and loved ones of those Finn killed,” I argued back. “You denied us our right to justice. You denied us our right to end our suffering! So, do not turn this one me. Ava did not have to die!”

“Well, neither did Rook,” she replied. “She wasn’t even there when everything happened!”

“It didn’t matter,” I roared at her. “She was _Skaikru_ and convenient. He,” I said, pointing at Kane, “needed to know the severity of your crimes and that we wouldn’t tolerate such blatant disrespect that you have shown us in your supposed ignorance!”

The color drained out of her face and she stepped back from me. I glared at her angrily and had to keep my hand from reaching for my dagger. Instead, I squeezed the cup in my hand, not surprised when it shattered. I barely looked at it as I grabbed a rag and wiped my hand and pulled out the pieces that had embedded itself in it. I wrapped the rag around it to stem the blood and stood there, glaring at all of them.

Gustus finally stepped in, taking the obvious tension in the tent and said, “The Commander is ready to talk.”

He stepped back and Lexa came in followed by Indra. I straightened after taking a few calming deep breaths and walked to join them, standing beside Indra. Lexa looked over at me in concern and I subtly shook my head to tell her that right now was a good time to explain. She nodded slightly and turned her attention to the room.

Clarke was trying to calm herself as Lexa said, “Blood has answered blood. Some of my side say that’s not enough. They wanted the murderer to suffer as our tradition demands. But they do not know that your suffering will be worse. What you did tonight will haunt you until the end of your days. Still, there will be restitution, the body will be given to Tondc. Murderer and murdered joined by fire. Only then can we have peace.”

Kane stepped forward and said, “No, no. We’ve done enough. The boy should be buried by his own people…”

Indra interrupted and said, “Enough? We were owed the pain of 18 deaths. We were owed the righteous kill. My village deserves justice.”

Abby spoke up and said defiantly, “You don’t want justice, you want vengeance.”

Indra stepped forward, her sword halfway drawn, “You have not seen my vengeance.”

“Enough, Indra,” I said to her. “You know that I am owed more than the rest. If I must abide by the Commander’s orders, you must as well. Justice will still be served regardless that this woman does not know the difference.”

She nodded and reluctantly stepped back. Abby gave me a death glare but was smart enough not to say anything.

“We’ll do it,” Clarke said, standing up straighter. “But when it’s over, we talk about how to get our people out of Mount Weather. All of our people.”

“We want the same things, Clarke,” Lexa replied.

“Good,” she said, nodding. “When do we leave?”

“Now. Choose your attendants.”

“Clarke, you don’t have to do this,” Abby pleaded.

“Yes, I do. If this truce doesn’t hold, I killed Finn for nothing.”

Lexa stood up and spared me a glance, looking down at my hastily bound hand and then back up to me, sending her a one worded thought, “Kane.” She nodded slightly and knew that I would explain later. She left with Clarke, followed by the rest.

I was surprised to see Lexa waiting for me outside of the tent and we fell in step as we walked over to the horses.

“Would you care to tell me what happened to your hand,” she inquired. 

I huffed, “Kane told Clarke about my supposed death. She got angry which got me angry and instead of taking a dagger, I shattered a cup in my hand.”

She shook her head, “You knew that it was bound to happen, but that’s not all of it. Is it?”

I sighed, still trying to calm myself and replied, “No. It got rather heated between Clarke and myself. I may have made it looked like we didn’t necessarily care about who paid for the crimes only that someone did. I apologize for that. I wasn’t expecting to feel so defensive in participating in the ruse. Especially, not after she told me that she remembered me from the Ark. Her admittance and sadness that I had disappeared combined with Kane’s regret…it surprised me, and I honestly don’t know how I feel about it.”

“You did not think that you would be remembered at all, did you?”

“Truthfully, no. I spent most of my life feeling less. I was constantly told by my parents that I was nothing but a disappointment and worthless. The only time I felt safe and worth something was when I was working on a machine. When they discovered that I liked girls, the verbal abuse got worse. Telling me that I’d never find love. That no one could ever love someone like me. Then to have that man echo their words and him not knowing anything about me. I really considered killing myself because I believed them.”

“But you didn’t,” she said, stopping me.

I sighed, “No. I just couldn’t go through with it. I mean, I had the blade in my hand, over my arm, but I just could not make the cut. I spent hours trying, but in the end, I beat the man instead. The rest became history.”

“And now you have proven to be so much more,” she gently reminded me. “Though I wish you hadn’t said what you did, I cannot really fault you for it. This ruse that I have asked of you cannot be easy for you. Just hold on a little longer.”

I nodded and smiled sadly, “No, it hasn’t, but I understand your reasoning. If the people of _Tondisi_ hadn’t shown me such kindness and taken me under their wing…”

“You would not have found yourself. Nor would you and I share the bond we have and you would not know that your people remembered you.”

“No. And I am glad that it has turned out the way it has. I finally feel at home and comfortable in my own skin.”

“Good. Now, let’s not keep the others waiting. We have a long way to ride before we stop to rest. I have no want to continue through the night to Tondc.”

I laughed feeling more at ease, “Then let’s gather our horses and get going. I’ve been away from home too long.”

Our horses were already saddled and we guided them to the others. I noted that Clarke’s inner circle were accompanying her, along with Kane and Abby. Raven had jumped up on the cart that would be carrying Finn’s body and I stopped short seeing her. I hadn’t even realized that she was on the ground and I wondered how long she had been here.


	21. Chapter 21

Clarke POV

 

I stared at the flames dully as the others set up their side of the camp. I could understand their reluctance to be near the Grounders, but we couldn’t afford to maintain that distance. We had to be able to work together if we were going to get everyone out of the Mountain. It had to work or else what I’d just done, what I’d just forced myself to do, wouldn’t make sense.

I rubbed my face to get rid of some of the dark thoughts and when I looked towards the cart that was carrying Finn’s body, I had to blink hard to clear my eyesight because I thought that Finn was sitting on the cart and staring at me. The look of accusation on his face made my chest clench in guilt. I hadn't wanted to do it. I wanted to save him, but I'd failed and now I had to live with it. I just hoped that I could. Shaking my head to dispel the thoughts that were beginning to circle, I closed my eyes to his image. I sighed in relief when he disappeared and turned resolutely away. Instead, I focused on the Grounders. I saw that they had already erected a tent for the Commander and a couple of smaller tents. I searched the Grounders accompanying us but couldn’t see her which meant that she had probably already retired for what was left of the night.

The Commander was an interesting figure and I couldn’t help the thoughts that moved towards her. She was imposing, intimidating and seemingly emotionless, but there had been hints that she wasn’t as cold as she seemed. She had shown me hints that there was compassion when we’d spoken. She seemed to understand what I was trying to do, of what I’d been through. It was refreshing after being told to let the “adults” handle it. I wasn’t given a chance to figure out anymore when another figure caught my attention coming out of the Commander’s Tent. She had on the half mask that covered her face and wore a long white fur cloak, but I was pretty sure that it was the woman they called Pakripa. She was another puzzle that I wanted to figure out. The way she stood silently as she stitched herself yesterday. The coldness that had seeped through her voice as she discussed leaving Finn alive and in the next breath, stating with certainty that war was on the horizon. Tonight, she showed more emotion than I’d seen from any of the Grounders so far. Even as far away as she had been, her rage was nearly palpable when she figured out what I’d done. When she had taken my hand earlier tonight, I had thought that she was going to hurt me, but I had been wrong. The woman had taken it upon herself to give me comfort. Like she’d known the turmoil I’d been going through. The pain.

Then I realized that she did understand when she told me why she’d been about to kill me just moments earlier. Finn had killed two people that she’d cared for greatly. Loved. Then to turn around and argue heatedly with me. I did not miss her shattering the cup and could see it in her eyes that she had momentarily wished it was me. I shuddered as I shoved that thought away. But thanks to her, I now understood why the army had been upset with what I’d done. I may not understand their traditions, but I was beginning to understand how important they were. Lincoln had been right when he’d told us that if there were no repercussions for causing the death of others then their life had no worth. The people who had sacrificed themselves on the Ark to give the others more time knew that. It was about time we started to remember that ourselves.

Both women were an enigma, and it was a little frightening that I wanted to figure them out.

“Yeah, that’s not creepy at all,” Octavia said as she sat beside me and bringing me out of my thoughts.

I looked over at her and saw that Lincoln and Bellamy had joined me as well, I asked, “What are you talking about?”

“The Grounder with the cloak,” she said, jutting her chin in the direction across from us.

I looked to where she was pointing and saw the woman sitting at another fire and was taken aback as she stared. It almost felt like she was staring straight through me. The urge to shudder was nearly overwhelming.

Instead, I focused on O, confused, and she rolled her eyes and explained, “The wolf’s head. It’s like the Grounder has two heads. And they’re both staring at us. Judging us.”

I looked back over and sure enough she sported a wolf’s head on her right shoulder. A feeling of unease pooled in the pit of my stomach and this time I did shudder.

“That is a huge wolf’s head,” Bellamy said. “Are all wolves that big?”

“No,” Lincoln replied. “Nor are they stark white. That must be the pelt of the White Wolf.”

“White Wolf,” Octavia asked and we all turned our attention to him in interest. “I remember you mentioning about it at the dropship. What’s was so special about it again?”

He shifted as he spared the woman a glance before turning his attention back to us and said, “A creature that had been plaguing the area around the village for months. Taking livestock. The village had sent out many hunters and set many traps to kill the creature, but every attempt failed. Hunters were hurt or killed. Traps sprung with no hint that the creature had neared them. Some hunting parties would wonder the forest for days following her trail to only find out she’d been leading them in circles. She was elusive and seemed to toy with the hunters and all the while taking livestock. They’d even taken to bringing the livestock inside buildings that could be barred, but mornings would reveal several missing and the door still barred. Stories spread of the creature being Other.”

“You mean, the wolf became like a mythological beast. A creature like the Minotaur,” Octavia asked, wide eyed.

“I would,” Bellamy said. “A wolf that can enter locked buildings, trip traps, and evade hunters. That’s not normal behavior of a wolf.”

“As if you know what’s normal behavior, Bell,” I said with a small smile. “So, you’re saying that this Grounder, this woman, killed the White Wolf?”

He nodded, “It would be the only reason why she would have a cloak made from it’s pelt. She will be held in high esteem when we reach the village. She has proven to be a strong warrior and hunter.”

“The Commander referred to her as Pakripa,” I said, looking at her again and saw that she had remained staring at us. “She said that it means Wolf Killer.”

“You got to talk with her,” Octavia said, astonished. I nodded and then she said, “I think she was there when I followed that woman Indra and played bait to rescue some of the villagers from the Reapers. She threw a spear so hard that it impaled one of them and sent it flying several feet. The spear had embedded itself into the ground and they had a hard time removing it. When they had left, I looked at the hole and it was deep. Several feet deep.”

“She’s apparently caught the attention of the Commander,” I said. “She was staying in the Commander’s Tent or at least that’s the impression I got.”

Octavia smirked, “I’m sure she has.”

I shoved her, “It’s not our place to even think about that, O. Just because you have Lincoln, doesn’t mean that everyone is doing it. I’m curious as to why she’s suddenly hiding her face though. When I went over there the first time, she wasn’t wearing a mask and didn’t put it on until later tonight, when Mom and Kane came into the tent.”

“That is strange,” Lincoln said carefully. “The masks are to make us unidentifiable and to strike terror in our enemy. There would be no reason why you should be able to know her face and not your leaders.”

“She seems so familiar to me,” I said, thinking out loud. “I could swear that I’ve seen her before the village that day, but she claims we never have. Though I doubt she’d admit it otherwise. Are grey eyes common here, Lincoln?”

He looked up at me sharply, “No. They are not. No Trikru has eyes that color, just as you will not see people with eyes of your color often.”

I nodded, “Even on the Ark, grey and blue eyes aren’t common.”

“So, she is different even with your own people, Lincoln,” Bellamy said.

“It would appear so. She will be one to watch,” he answered.

“Why is that,” I asked, glancing at him before I returned my attention to the woman.

“She was able to kill the White Wolf and lived. She is exhibiting great strength. Lastly, she has the attention of the Commander. She holds power that speaks volumes. Even Indra recognizes it and treats her accordingly. As do the warriors. You can tell by how they defer to her.”

I nodded and then saw something that confused me even greater, “That was weird.”

“What was,” Octavia asked, looking at the woman as she stood up and started walking over to the Commander’s Tent.

“I could have sworn that her eyes flashed right before she turned her head quickly to the Commander’s Tent. Then she immediately gets up to leave and heading straight there,” I answered, looking at her.

“What? Like she was called?”

I shook my head, perplexed, “Almost. None of the others seemed to react and because of the distance, I’m sure that the Commander would have had to yell to be heard. Not even the man guarding her tent did anything.”

“Yep. That woman is strange,” Octavia said and then turned her attention to Lincoln.

Soon after, they left the fire and settled out of the way, leaving me with Bellamy.

“I still think I should head into the Mountain, Clarke,” Bellamy said.

I sighed, “I already told you. I’m not willing to risk your life on a small chance of you being able to make it in. I’m sure that they’ve increased the security thanks to my escape. They’re going to be watching.”

“There’s an entrance through the tunnels,” he persisted. “Lincoln said that it leads directly into the Mountain.”

“No. Even if you avoid the Mountain Men’s attention, there’s still the Reapers to deal with. Drop it.”

He didn’t argue with me further but got up and settled in a bedroll not far from where I’d set mine. I sighed in frustration and looked around me. I jumped when I could see Finn standing off to the side and doing nothing more than to stare at me. I closed my eyes and told myself that it wasn’t real. That he wasn’t there and when I opened my eyes again, he was gone. I shook my head to clear it and got up and settled on my bedroll, shifting as I tried to get comfortable to get some kind of sleep, but it was proving elusive. It didn’t help that I would occasionally feel arms around me and when I looked, no one was there. It was a long night.


	22. Chapter 22

Rook POV

 

I breathed in deeply as the entrance to the village came into view. I felt my body relax even more as we got closer.

Lexa nudged her horse closer to me and said, “ _You are happy to be back_.”

I smiled and returned, “ _Yes. Even though we were gone for only a few days, I find myself missing the village. It’s become home_.”

She nodded, “ _I am glad that we have been able to give that to you_.”

“ _It’s so much more than that, Commander_ ,” I said. “ _It’s the acceptance and that the villagers genuinely care for me. I hadn’t realized how starved I was for that_.”

“ _You do realize that we will leave soon to march on the Mountain. I expect you to accompany me_.”

I nodded, “ _I do realize that. Though why you are being persistent on keeping me by your side still confuses me. It can’t be because we’re whatever we are. Nor can it be because I was born Skaikru_.”

“ _You have shown great strength, Pakripa_ ,” she began after careful thought. “ _You have proven yourself against Reapers. You command respect from the warriors with your skill. I also know that because of the bond, you will protect me with your life_.”

“ _I would probably do so even without the bond_ ,” I told her as we pulled up in front of the village.

We dismounted as one and waited for the others to join us.

Gustus turned to the small crowd and said, “Weapons.”

Several of the warriors had baskets in there hands as Lincoln explained, “We need to disarm before we enter,” and as an example, places his dagger in a bin.

I watched as Clarke, Bellamy and Kane immediately complied, but Raven just stood there, looking on defiantly. Gustus stopped in front of her and after a moment began to divest her of a multitude of small blades. When he had discovered all, he turned to Lexa and said in our language, “ _Heda_ , all clear.”

She nodded and we entered the village. The villagers greeted us warmly until they noticed Clarke and the others trailing us. Suddenly, a villager, a man I recalled his name to be Sindri, stepped in front of Lexa and blocking our path.

In our tongue, he said, “ _Sky People took everything from me. My wife. My child_.”

Gustus replied, his voice dangerous, “ _Step aside_.”

“ _Murderers are not welcome here_ ,” he said, adamant.

Lexa gave a subtle nod and Gustus strode up to Sindri and started beating him after knocking him to the ground. It went on for a bit and then Clarke suddenly stepped up to Lexa and I felt my hand go to my dagger.

“Commander, stop him, please,” she asked. “They’ll blame us for this, too.”

Lexa replied, addressing Gustus “Let him live.”

With great reluctance he stopped and stepped back.

Lexa turned her gaze to the villagers surround us and said, “The Sky People march with us now. Anyone who tries to stop that will pay with their life.”

With that, we continued our way to the center of town. The pyre had already been built and the bodies had been laid out along the edges. I felt my heart contract at the sight and a lump built in my throat as tears threatened to fall. I took a deep shuddering breath and looked among those already gathered for Sursha. I found her as her eyes seemed to search for me and when she saw me, relief crossed her face and I walked quickly over to her and embraced her tightly.

I felt her shoulders begin to shake and I found it harder to keep my tears at bay. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look and found Artigas’ father standing there. I nodded at him and he seemed to deflate at the news that the murderer was dead.

“ _Did he suffer_ ,” he asked, his voice gruff with emotion.

I shook my head and answered bitterly, “ _We were denied that by the blonde girl. She killed him before we even had a chance. I’m sorry for that, but the Commander demanded that we bring his body here to finish this_.”

His eyes hardened at the news and I felt Sursha tense within my arms and I quickly said, “ _Do not worry, the woman’s suffering has only just begun. She will be haunted by her actions for the rest of her life_.”

He nodded and walked away. I let go of Sursha and searched her eyes to see if she understood. She nodded and I was able to let go to walk back over to Indra and Lexa.

“ _You have told them_ ,” Indra asked, looking at me.

“ _I have. They were not pleased which I expected but were placated when I told them that she would have to live with the guilt_ ,” I answered curtly.

“ _And you_?”

“ _I have no choice but to accept the situation. I am only grateful that this will be over shortly. Their spirits finally freed from their shells_.”

She nodded. Lexa looked over at us during our exchange and I gave her a wan smile. She nodded slightly and then stood up on a small wooden box to address the crowd.

In our language she said, “ _People of Tondc. In fire, we cleanse the pain of the past_.”

Indra handed the lit torch to Lexa to light the pyre, but she paused for a moment and then turned to Clarke, holding the torch out to her. There was a slight gasp from those around me and then Clarke took the torch.

After a moment, Clarke said, “ _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” as she lit the pyre.

We watched it silently as it burned. My soul felt lighter as their bodies were consumed by the flames. It was freeing to know that the villagers could finally take solace in their knowledge that the souls of the murdered were finally free and would move on to whatever they believed. I wasn’t sure what I believed, but I felt that I could finally move on. That this horrible experience was finally over.

We all stayed until the pyre was nothing but smoldering ashes and then everyone started to depart. Lexa and Clarke stood side by side, staring at the ashes and I saw that it was somehow building a kinship between the two.

Lexa looked over at me briefly and said, “ _Go with the others and help with the preparations for the feast_.”

I bowed my head and said, “ _Sha, Heda_.”

I turned and followed Indra, who had waited for me. We set off to a concrete building and descended the stairs into a large room that had already been set up with two tables that ran nearly the entire length.

“We do not really need to do anything, Rook,” she told me as she poured the both of us drinks. “She merely wanted to speak with Clarke privately.”

“You do not trust this alliance to work out, do you,” I said as I took the cup and took a sip.

“I do not trust the Sky People. Their ways are too similar to the Mountain Men. They look down at our ways, showing disrespect and disdain at every turn,” she said, glaring at the doorway.

“The similarity to the Mountain Men is why we need them, Indra. I understand the fear and reluctance, but being Sky Born myself, I also understand that their knowledge will help us stop them for good.”

“Do you trust them?”

I sighed and thought about it and then said, “We have a common goal right now, which means that we can trust them enough to rid us of the problem. It is afterwards that my trust becomes dubious. As long as they continue to think that they are better than us because of their technology and weapons, they will continue to make the Commander’s life difficult. That makes them dangerous. In their eyes, she is too young to lead.”

“What does age have to do with anything?”

“Look at Abby and Kane,” I said. “They are much older than the Commander and feel that their supposed experience makes them more knowledgeable. Kane is willing to learn about our culture and listen to the Commander. Abby is more reticent because she almost refuses to understand the cultural differences. Skaikru see us as nothing more than savages. Violent and unintelligent.”

“Is that why Abby seemed to bristle when Clarke did all of the talking and decision making,” she asked as she blatantly ignored the rest of my statement.

“Yes. Clarke is Abby’s daughter and she sees her still as if she were a child. She forgets that she sent her down her to die and that she had to grow up in order to survive. That she’s truly capable of making the decisions necessary to save her people.”

“You respect Clarke,” she said, looking at me with a touch of surprise.

“How can I not? After learning what was done when our army attacked their camp. The length she went to escape the Mountain. The fact that she stood up to the Commander. She has earned my respect.”

She nodded and stepped away to speak with a few of the men. I noted that the feast was nearly ready and draining my cup, headed outside for a bit. I leaned against the wall and removed the mask briefly to wipe the sweat off my face. I slid it back on as I heard footsteps approach. Seeing Sursha, I walked over to her.

“The Commander has informed us that you will be staying in her quarters,” she told me, her voice betraying curiosity.

I nodded, “She’s made me her personal guard and wishes me to stay close. Closer than Gustus apparently.”

“We’ve already moved your packs and set up a cot for you there.”

“Thank you,” I replied and unhooked my cloak, “Could you please put this in there. There’s no need for it now that I’m not traveling. It’s served me well.”

She nodded, “May I ask why you are wearing the mask if we are not in danger?”

I smirked, “The Commander wishes for my identity to remain secretive in case any of _Skaikru_ recognizes me. No one may address me by name, either. Only _Pakripa_.”

“I shall try to remember that,” she said with a smile. “What of the antler rack that is still in your home?”

I frowned having temporarily forgotten about it and said, “I don’t know what to do with it. It seems silly to mount it on a wall. I had wanted a ring carved out of it to give to Ava as a wedding gift and perhaps hair beads or a necklace of some kind, but I’m unsure now.”

“Those are wonderful ideas,” she said kindly. “If you wish, we have a carver that can make the antlers into several pieces of jewelry and in payment you can give the rest to him to carve into other things.”

“That sounds great. Could you see to it for me? I have no idea what it is the Commander will wish for me to do while she remains here.”

“I’ll make sure that it’s done,” she said. “Take care and I will see you again.”

“Thank you, Sursha,” I said and watched her walk away.

I continued to stand outside as I waited for those that would attend the feast, Skaikru and Lincoln as well as several other Trikru generals. Curiously, I watched Gustus approach and wondered why he was not with Lexa. He was constantly by her side when I hadn’t been.

I stopped him by the door and asked, “Why are you not with the Commander?”

“She is safe enough within the bounds of the village,” he said with a slight sneer obviously upset that I dared to question him.

“That may be so, but it is unwise to leave her with the village unhappy about Skaikru being here,” I countered.

“And who are you to think that you know better than I,” he demanded.

I stood my ground and said, “I do not think I know more about acting as her personal guard than you, Gustus. I only know that it is dangerous to presume that no harm will come to her within a friendly village. It is foolish to think so.”

“If you are so concerned about her well being, I suggest you go and protect her from nothing,” he said with finality and entered the building.

I debated about whether I should follow him because something did not feel right but decided to go in search of Lexa. I found her speaking with some of the villagers, Clarke hovering nearby. She looked up with a slight frown on her face when she saw me approaching.

“ _Pakripa_ ,” she said, “ _I believe I told you to help with the preparations_.”

I bowed my head and replied, “ _My apologies, Commander, but I felt it necessary to find you once Gustus entered the building that the meal would take place. As a member of your personal guard, I did not wish to leave you unprotected_.”

She looked around sharply and noticed that Gustus was indeed no where nearby. That brought a bigger frown on my face that he left without telling her.

“ _Very well_ ,” she said. “ _Are they nearly done_?”

“ _They are, Commander. Indra assured me that they would send a runner when it was ready_.”

She nodded and went back to speaking with the villagers. I stepped back and took my place, keeping an eye and ear out. I felt someone approach me and turned to find Clarke coming near.

“I wanted to apologize to you for last night,” she said. “I should not have accused you for what happened to Rook. Especially after I failed to respect your traditions. Just the thought of Finn having to endure the ritual and my people watching it…I cared for him.”

I sighed and looked at her, “We’re not savages, Clarke. Our ways may seem harsh and violent but that is because the world is like that. The Commander has fought long and hard to bring some semblance of peace by bringing the twelve clans together. With peace comes a chance to rethink the way things are done, but only when it becomes stronger. Right now, Death by a Thousand Cuts and the ritual that boy was meant to go through…those are still needed. Action speaks louder than words in our world, your world. Our traditions are important to us as I’m sure yours are important to you. Just because they are different does not give you the right to ignore them. You want us to work together then you must be willing to accept this new world you find yourself in. If you don’t, your chance of survival is slim. This is something your people need to learn, Clarke.”

“I think I’m beginning to understand that now,” she said. “The other prisoner that was held? Murphy? When he came back, we saw that he had been tortured. I guess it was because your people were trying to get information on us. Which makes sense since we landed in your backyard and we look and sound like the Mountain Men. You needed to know if we were a threat. I can respect that. But then I think about Rook and remembering who she was. She didn’t deserve what happened to her, regardless of what you may think. All she did was walk out of the camp to think. To help us communicate with the Ark.”

“You cared for the girl,” I asked, surprise tinging my voice and making me curious to hear her answer.

“I care about everyone that landed with me,” she answered. “They’re my people.”

I saw the runner approach and told her, “It’s time. You should find your people and bring them to the building.”

She nodded and walked away. I fell into step beside Lexa and she looked over at me curiously.

Interpreting her look, I said, “She was apologizing for last night and I apologized to her. I think she understands us a little bit better and will be more respectful.”

She nodded and we continued to walk. When we went down the stairs, Lexa informed me that I would sit to her right as Gustus was on her left. I was surprised at the honor but did not question it. We waited and shortly the Skaikru delegation arrived and took their places opposite of us. Clarke was set up directly in front of Lexa with Kane and Abby on either side of her.

Kane brought out a wrapped package that we all eyed warily and watched as he unwrapped it to reveal a bottle containing something that was probably home distilled alcohol.

He held it out to Lexa and said, “Please accept this gift, Commander. We drink this at special occasions. I believe this qualifies.”

Gustus took it from him and Lexa replied, “Thank you, Marcus of the Sky People.”

“Your welcome, Lexa _kom Trikru_ ,” he replied. I was impressed at his attempt to try to speak the language even if it was the most basic phrase. Just not at the fact that he didn’t address her properly. “Just don’t drink too much of it.”

Lexa looked over at Clarke and said, “Clarke, let us drink together.”

She answered with a small smile, “It would be my pleasure.”

Gustus placed two goblets in front of her and she poured a bit in each one. Stoppering the bottle, she handed one to Clarke who took it and waited for Lexa to do the same.

“ _Heda_ , allow me,” Gustus said and took Lexa’s cup, taking a sip.

He handed it back to her and she lifted it up in toast, “Today we celebrate our peace. Tomorrow we plan our war. To those we’ve lost, to those we shall soon find.”

Just as they both were about to drink, Gustus suddenly heaved and fell back, collapsing. Everyone sprang back as Bellamy knocked the goblet out of Clarke’s hand. Gustus had been poisoned. Nyko rushed over to Gustus to check on him and both sides violently sprang apart.

“This wasn’t us,” Clarke cried out. “You have to know this wasn’t us!”

Lexa glared at her and then turned to Nyko and in our tongue said, “ _Don’t let him die_!”

Indra yelled out, “ _Everybody out! Search them!_ ”

“No! No, we didn’t do this,” Clarke screamed as they began to be searched.

Lexa snapped to her and said angrily, “Gustus warned me about you, but I didn’t believe him.”

“Lexa, please…,” she begged.

Lexa stepped close to Clarke, “Tell me something, Clarke. When you plunged the knife into the heart of the boy you loved, did you not wish that it was mine?”

Clarke’s face revealed the truth and I felt a growl build in my chest. Momentary guilt filled me that I hadn’t thought to check her for weapons.

Ryder looked up at us and held out a vial. He was standing in front of Raven, “ _Heda_.”

“That’s not mine,” Raven accused.

“ _This was in her coat_ ,” Ryder said.

“I’m telling you it’s not mine! He put it there when he searched me!”

“No Sky Person leaves this room,” Lexa bellowed.

I thought quickly and something didn’t seem right, I yelled out, “STOP! Just stop!”

“ _Pakripa_ ,” she warned.

I didn’t say anything but bent and picked up the goblet that Gustus had drank from. I swiped a finger and tasted the liquid and promptly spit it out. I grabbed the one Clarke had held and did the same thing and found it also had traces of poison.

I glanced around the room and asked, “Where’s the bottle?!”

One of the warriors handed it over to me. Taking a big chance, I took several gulps of the liquid and coughed as it burned down my throat. Lexa looked at me expectantly and when I didn’t succumb to the poison, she glared.

“Explain, _Pakripa_ ,” she demanded.

I nodded, already feeling the effects of the drink and I cleared my throat before I said, “I was here during the preparations as you asked me to, Commander. I truthfully attest that no Sky Person entered while I was in here or standing right outside the building. I only left when Gustus entered the building. The goblets were laced with poison, not the drink itself. If you ask, I am sure that anyone that was here after I left will tell you that no Sky Person entered in my absence.”

“This is true,” Indra growled as if she hated to admit to it.

“Which means that one of us tried to poison you,” I told her.

“Why would someone try to poison the Commander,” Kane asked, perplexed.

I looked over at him and said, “For a couple of reasons. She allowed Clarke to go unpunished for denying us Finn’s death. You are too similar to the Mountain Men making any truce with you dangerous. If this alliance holds, it places the Commander’s life in greater danger.”

I suddenly leaned against the table as the alcohol hit and Indra rushed to help me as the warriors pointed their weapons at the Sky People, but I waved them off.

“That is some strong alcohol, Marcus Kane,” I said with a crooked smile. “Not something to drink without food in your stomach.”

He gave me a strained smile and I turned back to Lexa, straightening, “Commander, there have been too many hands preparing this meal. As such, it would take too much time to find the traitor. Because of that, I offer myself in place. This alliance must hold if we are to finally be rid of the Mountain.”

She took a step back and searched my eyes as there was a collective gasp. I nodded slightly and she took a deep breath and nodded in return.

“Prepare the tree,” she ordered. 

Hands grabbed my arms and escorted me up the stairs. I didn’t look around but stared straight ahead. They stripped me of my outer clothes when we were above ground and tied my hands together. Nyko had come out of his home and informed Lexa that Gustus would live. The villagers were gathering as I stood stoically by waiting. My heart began to pound as I remembered the first time, but my breath came shorter because I knew that there would be no coming back this time around. Tamping down my fear, I knew that this was the only answer. This alliance had to work and if I had to sacrifice my life to make sure it did, then I would. When the pole was erected, Indra stepped up to me and removed the mask from my face.

“They should see who you are,” she said, softly.

I nodded and offered her a slight smile before I was taken, my arms were raised and tied to a ring above my head. Everyone stood stock still and I could see the confusion on the faces of the villagers.

Lexa stood in front of me and pulled out a dagger. I knew she didn’t want to do this, but she understood the importance. The attempt on her life had to be paid for and we both knew that no one would step forward.

“ _This is wrong_ ,” she said quietly. “ _We know that you did not try to poison me_.”

“ _It doesn’t matter_ ,” I told her. “ _Someone has to pay. It might as well be me. I am from the Sky after all_.”

She nodded and stepped up to me. She cut me along the length of my arm making me hiss at the sudden pain. She stepped back and handed the blade to Indra.

When she stepped forward, I gave her a sad smile, “ _I’m sorry I failed you, Indra_.”

“ _You did not fail me, child_ ,” she said with a look of sadness mixed with pride. “ _No matter your birth, you are Trikru_.”

Cutting me, she quickly stepped aside. Next came those that were in attendance and then the villagers stepped forward one by one. They looked confused but did as tradition dictated. My body was on fire from the pain, but I stood strong as it continued. I almost wept when Sursha stepped up to me with her eyes streaming tears.

“ _I know she will be waiting for you_ ,” she said softly.

I nodded and gave her a sad smile as she cut me. Even Artigas’ father gave me words such as hers. Finally, the last villager had made their cut and it was time for Lexa to end it. I gathered myself and stood up straighter.

She pulled out her sword and prepared to deliver the death stroke.

“ _It had to be done_ ,” I told her, weakly. “ _Ste yuj, Leksa_.”

“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_ ,” she said.

Before she could no more than pierce my skin, a noise from somewhere behind me distracted her. The pain was beginning to become to much for me as I held desperately to stay conscious. Suddenly Nyko stepped in front of me and cut me down, catching me as I fell.

I looked at him in confusion and he said to me as he picked me up in his arms, “ _It’s alright, little one. You do not have to die today. You have done us proud. Rest now_.”

With those words, I let my consciousness slip away. My last thoughts went to wondering what the hell just happened.


	23. Chapter 23

I woke sometime later and moaned painfully. I sat up gingerly, my body feeling perforated as my skin attempted to stretch the healing cuts apart. With no one in the room to stop me, I cautiously swung my legs over the side of the bed. The movement hurt causing me to gasp slightly as aching muscles protested. Looking at my chest, I saw that the cuts were already showing the pink of new skin. I took a moment, looking down at myself and it astounded me how many scars lined my chest and legs. I looked like I had been fighting for years instead of just shy of six months. I wondered briefly what Ava would think if she saw my body now. If she would still call me beautiful? What she would think about me putting myself on the line time and time again? If she was proud or disappointed?

I sighed, shoving those thoughts forcefully from my mind before I went down the rabbit hole and began doubting myself. I tore my gaze from my body and looked around for clothes to pull on. I found some at the foot of my bed. Slowly and painfully I put them on. Standing up, I staggered slightly and caught the table to keep me upright. I waited until the floor stopped spinning and for my legs to support me before I made my way to the door. Okay, maybe I wasn’t quite up to moving but I needed to find out what the hell happened. Stepping outside, I noticed the village had gone back to normal. This afternoon’s trial seemingly forgotten.

“Rook,” Sursha called out. “You shouldn’t be out of bed. You need to rest and recover.”

I waved her off as she tried to get me to go back inside and I demanded, “Where’s Lexa? What happened? Why am I not dead?”

“You’ll have your answers,” she said. “I’ll fetch her myself once you get back in the room and lay down.”

“I don’t need to lay down, Sursha,” I huffed, but let her guide me back inside. 

She didn’t say a word but pushed me down on to the bed and left. I sighed and pushed myself until I was sitting up against the wall. Closing my eyes, I tried to wrap my head around the entire thing, but only ended up feeling more confused. 

It wasn’t long before the door opened again, Nyko entered followed by Lexa and surprisingly, Clarke. Clarke was surprised by my current state, but my focus was on Lexa. Her eyes betrayed relief that I felt wash over me, but her face remained as stoic as ever.

“I should not be surprised to see you already awake,” Nyko said with a small smile and shake of his head.

I shrugged, turning my attention to him, “I’m surprised to find myself alive. Why is that?”

“Gustus,” Lexa said, curtly. “He appeared out of here completely fine and called a halt to the execution.”

I thought hard for a moment and then looked at her with understanding, “He’s the one that poisoned the cups.”

She nodded, “Yes. When he saw that it was you and not the girl, he readily admitted to doing it.”

“He felt the alliance would put your life in greater danger than it already is.”

She nodded again and I saw the pain of regret on her face and then she asked, “How are you feeling?”

I answered. “My entire body hurts, but I think I should be okay by morning.”

“How is that possible,” Clarke demanded, her voice betraying her confusion. “Some of those cuts were deep and how are you even awake? You lost a lot of blood.”

“I heal pretty quick,” I answered, shrugging. “It doesn’t really matter. What matters is what happens now? Where do we stand with this alliance?”

“The alliance holds,” Lexa said. “We will begin planning tomorrow. Indra and a few others will return with those that accompanied Clarke to help train their people in preparation. I want you to accompany them.”

“Without Gustus, is that wise,” I asked, concerned for her safety.

“You have knowledge that may help them,” she answered. “Ryder is here and will make sure nothing happens to me.”

“With the training, right,” Clarke asked, confusion still evident.

Lexa sighed, looking at me lost in thought. Exchanging looks, I quirked my eyebrow in question and subtly tilted my head towards Clarke. Asking her without words if we could finally drop the ruse. She closed her eyes, debating. When she opened them again, she took a moment and then nodded.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, I focused on Clarke and said, “Clarke, do you remember how you kept telling me that I looked familiar?”

Her eyes narrowed, nodding warily, “Yes.”

“Well, there’s a reason for that. Kane didn’t witness my death that day,” I said cautiously.

“What,” she replied, looking at me sharply and then turning her gaze to Lexa. “What are you saying? Are you saying you’re Rook?”

I looked down at my lap, feeling regret grip my chest.

“What the hell,” she demanded. “Rook, why would you do that?”

Lexa answered instead, “I asked her to hide her identity. When I learned Rook was here and that Indra was planning on bringing her into our clan…I felt it was important that her existence remain a secret. I couldn’t risk anyone finding out. If your people had found out, I feared you would think she was a prisoner and retaliate. If other clans found out about her, it was possible that they would demand her execution or worse.”

Clarke looked at her sharply, “What could be worse?”

“If _Azgeda_ found out, it’s possible that _Kwin_ Nia would take advantage of the situation. Possibly kidnap and torture her for information to be used against me.”

“Why would you agree to this if your life was in danger,” Clarke looked at me.

“That’s a loaded question, Clarke,” I replied finally looking at her. “I found a home here. People who accepted me without judgement. I found love, Clarke. You have no idea what I endured on the Ark. The pain I experienced. The danger of staying here is worth it. I’ve never been happier, freer than I am here. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Why would you think I wouldn’t understand,” she asked, and I could see that she was trying.

Taking a shaky breath, I replied, “Clarke, I was verbally and emotionally abused by my parents growing up. They made me feel worthless. I didn’t think that I deserved friends or love. It got worse once they found out I was gay. I hated going home to them because it was never ending. The guy I beat up? He found out that I was pining for a girl. He was hateful enough that he began bullying me. It was so bad that I wanted to kill myself. I almost did, but I couldn’t go through with it. Instead, I took all my pain out on him.”

I hadn’t realized that as I was talking tears had begun falling. Clarke saw this and surprised me when she got up to sit beside me. She pulled me into a hug, and it was like a weight had finally been lifted off my chest. I didn’t dare look at her but took the comfort that she was offering.

“If it was so bad, why didn’t you look for help,” she asked softly.

I let out a wet laugh, “I tried but everyone brushed it off. After the first couple of times, I just stopped looking for a way out. I began thinking that it was true. Especially, since no one seemed to bat an eye.”

“I am so sorry that you had to go through that alone,” she said keeping her voice soft. “It didn’t get better when you were in the Sky Box, did it? Not even when we came down.”

I shook my head, “No. It’s one of the reasons why I got in so many fights. When we came down, it was like the only reason people wanted me around was because I could help restore communication. Otherwise, I was ignored.”

“I was just as bad, wasn’t I?”

I looked over at her and gave her a sad smile, “I wish I could say that it didn’t hurt, but it did. I’d take any positive attention that was given to me.”

She tightened her hold on me. If I wasn’t in so much pain, both physically and emotionally, I probably would have enjoyed having her so close. Instead, I kept telling her my tale, waiting for her next question.

“How did you come to be here, anyway,” she asked.

I could appreciate the change of topic, so I explained, “The day I disappeared from camp, Clarke, I was so lost in my head trying to figure out the communication problem that I ended up lost in the forest. When I tried to get back, I was attacked by the _Bounstoka_ , the White Wolf. My screams alerted hunters nearby and they brought me back here. Nyko healed me and Indra decided to adopt me into the clan.”

“So, you were never a prisoner,” she asked.

“No.”

“Why keep your identity secret?”

“That would be because of me,” Lexa answered. “ _Klark_ , Rook provided Indra and me information about your people. Information she provided willingly. Would your people not think she’d turned traitor if they found out? We care for her deeply and were concerned for her safety.”

I felt Clarke sigh and replied, “You’re right. I know Bellamy would’ve thought it. Jaha would as well. My mom would’ve thought that she’d been manipulated into providing it. I think that Kane would’ve been the only one to understand.”

“What about you,” I asked softly not really understanding why her answer felt important.

“It hurts that you chose to stay here over us, but I understand,” she answered. “I don’t see you as a traitor, Rook. I remember that you were always honest. Willing to share your knowledge just not with your feelings. You would’ve been compromising yourself if you held back the truth.”

“That means a lot to me,” I said.

She hummed in acceptance and then whispered in my ear, “You okay, now?”

I nodded and with one last squeeze she got up and resumed her seat. When she settled, she asked, “Why did you put on a show for Kane?”

Lexa looked perplexed and I explained, “She’s asking about the fake ritual.”

Lexa nodded in understanding, “I felt he needed to understand that the severity of Finn’s crime could not go unpunished. From my scouts I had learned that he could move about freely after he returned. That was unacceptable. We believe in _jus drein jus daun_. Blood must have blood. I can forgive the deaths on the bridge and those that perished in your ring of fire. It was war and people die. What I could not and will not stand for is to allow a murderer of innocents to go unpunished.”

“I can understand that,” Clarke said carefully and then looked over at me, “What I don’t understand is why you agreed to it, Rook? Why did you put yourself through it?”

I took a moment to really think about the question. I knew the answer and I had shared it with Lexa, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted Clarke to know. The depth of my feelings for Ava or what her death had done to me. It still hurt and still a little bit raw and if I was honest, it was only because of Sursha and Lexa that I could even remotely function now.

I guess Lexa picked up what I was thinking and thought to me, “Rook, she needs to hear this. She needs to understand what Finn did to our people.”

Knowing that this would be another emotional explanation, it was Nyko’s turn to come and sit by me. I smiled at him gratefully and took a deep breath, nodded mostly to myself before I looked over at Clarke and said, “After I woke up from being knocked out. I was filled with so much rage. I wasn’t just angry at Finn. I was angry at myself, too. I wanted to go after him and make him feel the pain I was going through, but I was stopped every time. I don’t know how many times I tried to sneak out of the village to go after him. The last time I was caught, I was placed in a cell for my own safety. I was left there for a few days and by the time Indra came back with the Commander, I just didn’t care anymore. I felt dead inside. I loved Ava with everything I had. And without her, I thought what was the point? I felt that I had failed her. Failed Artigas. Failed my village. All because I was not there to protect them. After everything they had done for me, I failed to protect them the one time they needed me. The one time I could have done something. The guilt was eating me alive.”

I paused for a minute to get my emotions back under control, leaning into Nyko more fully gathering strength, I continued, “Lexa came to me with the idea. After some thought, I agreed. I knew the villagers wouldn’t harm me enough to leave lasting damage. I knew that Lexa was skilled enough that, though it would hurt, she wouldn’t kill me. I trust them with my life, Clarke. Afterwards, when I woke up, I felt lighter, freer. The ritual helped kill the guilt and rage that I felt. It served as a sort of penance. I no longer wanted to die. So, that’s why I agreed to it.”

“And this afternoon? Why did you offer yourself to pay for someone else’s crime,” Clarke asked.

“Because _Skaikru_ is our best chance of bringing an end to the atrocities the Mountain Men have forced upon us. Thanks to you, we finally have insider knowledge that we didn’t have before. Thanks to your people and the technology that you possess, we finally have a chance at evening the playing field. This alliance is too important to throw away those advantages.”

Clarke looked at me stunned and I felt Lexa’s pride for me leak through. I looked over at her and gave her a small smile in appreciation and she returned it with a small one of her own. I abruptly felt my energy start to lag and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to continue this conversation much longer. Nyko felt me sag against him more and looking up at him, I saw him exchange a look with Lexa.

“ _Klark_ ,” she spoke up. “I know that this is a lot to process. And I’m sure that you still have questions for Rook, but she still needs to recover if she’s to leave with the others in the morning.”

That seemed to snap her out of her thoughts and she suddenly looked apologetic, “You’re right. I’m sorry and this is a lot to take in. I’m glad that you’re alive, Rook.”

I smiled at her and replied, “I am, too. Don’t worry, we still have time to talk.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” she replied, smiling softly.

Nyko and Clarke got up to leave but Lexa stayed. When they were gone, she got up and sat beside me. Wordlessly, I pulled her into my arms and held her. She sagged her weight against me, and I could feel her shudder slightly.

“I am glad that I did not have to kill you, Rook,” she said quietly.

“I’m sorry that you had to kill Gustus,” I replied, kissing her gently on her head. “I know he meant a lot to you.”

“Love is weakness,” she said.

“No, it’s not, Lexa. Yeah, it hurts and can devastate us when we lose the ones we love, but those moments we shared with them…it makes it worthwhile. Love is our greatest strength as it is our greatest weakness. It’s our choice to see it as either. I choose to see it as strength.”

“How can you say that? You loved Ava so much that it nearly destroyed you.”

I sighed, “True. I’ve been at my lowest twice now. I think what drove me further this time is because my parents’ voices circled like vultures. I could hear them telling me that I didn’t deserve the love Ava had shown me. Or Artigas’ brotherly love. That it was the world’s way of proving their point. They were proven wrong though. Nyko, Sursha, Indra, even you. You all made sure that I didn’t fall so deep into the abyss that I couldn’t pull myself out. That you adamantly refused to see me relinquish my hold on life. That’s what love is. That’s what love does. It pulls you through the darkness. It lends you strength until you can stand on your own again.”

“How’d you become so wise,” she asked with a small chuckle.

I snorted, “I’m not wise. Far from it. Life and love, I’ve come to learn, are never easy but they are worth it. Regardless of what happens, it’s always worth it.”

“I’m proud of you. I know that this couldn’t have been easy for you,” she said softly.

“It wasn’t, but I’m glad that I could tell her. It’s nice to know that she doesn’t seem to hold any animosity for hiding my identity. I was surprised how understanding she was over the whole situation and my choices.”

“You like her, don’t you?”

“I’ve always liked her. She’s an amazing person.”

“But you have feelings for her.”

“I do, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you,” I told her adamantly. “What we have. What we share. It’s more important to me than wondering if she has feelings for me. You’re important to me. I know it’s so soon after losing Ava, but it’s how I feel.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you. For allowing me to be myself. For allowing me to feel again,” she said as she looked up at me.

I chuckled slightly and smiled, “You’re worth it, Lexa.”

She reached up and pulled me gently into a kiss. We kissed until I felt exhaustion pull harder and I had to break away reluctantly.

“I’d ask you to stay,” I said quietly, “but I know you can’t.”

She shook her head sadly, “You’re right, I can’t. I’ll leave you to rest now. And I’ll make sure that you have fresh clothes and food ready for you in the morning.”

I nodded and gave her one last kiss before she got up to leave. I watched her and we shared one last look before the door closed behind her. I took off my clothes and crawled back underneath the furs. As soon as I was comfortable, I was out.


	24. Chapter 24

I woke before dawn and saw fresh clothes and a pack already laid out for me. Moving felt like an Olympic sport, one I was sure to come in last. Exhausted from the effort of clothing myself, Nyko’s god awful pain-relieving tea became my focus. I found it next to a plate of food. Draining the mug quickly to avoid the taste and then scarfing the food down, I strapped on my weapons and slung the cloak over my shoulders. With one last excruciating stretch, I grabbed the pack and headed out towards where _Skaikru_ had set up their tents. Indra and the ones that would accompany Skaikru back to their camp were already waiting as the camp’s occupants were barely beginning to move. I shook my head at their dislike of early morning rising, resigning myself to a long wait.

Penn saw me and he walked over with a smile on his face, “ _Pakripa_ , it is good to see you.”

I clasped forearms with him and smiled, “It is good to see another day, Penn. You, I’m not so sure.”

He laughed and clapped me on my shoulder making me wince slightly in pain. The rest followed and as they greeted me, they also took the time to apologize. I reminded them that there was no reason to apologize and that I held no animosity. After my reassurances, they walked away and left me with Indra. She looked wary and I knew that she hadn’t liked what had happened yesterday.

“Indra,” I said, holding out my arm. “Are you and I okay?”

She clasped my arm and then pulled me roughly into a hug, “That was the most foolish and stupid thing you did yesterday, Rook. You should not have sacrificed yourself.”

I pulled back from the embrace and looking her sternly in the eyes, said, “Indra, I knew what I was doing. As much as you dislike _Skaikru_ , as a general, you know we need them if we are to get out from under the Mountain. I am only here because Gustus had the courage to not let me die in his stead. If I had died yesterday as I was meant, you would still be standing here waiting for _Skaikru_ to get off their asses to head back to their camp.”

She nodded, “Be that as it may, you are not to put yourself in a position like that again.”

I shook my head, smiling, “I can’t promise you that, Indra. You know this, but I will tell you that I am not trying to die and join Ava. I like living too much.”

She nodded and gruffly pulled me into a hug again. I turned towards the sounds of hoofbeats, frowning when I saw Lexa and Clarke making their way over with Arthos. Indra saw who was coming and removed herself to go and speak with the others.

“Do not scowl at me so,” Lexa said as they stopped. “Besides helping _Skaikru_ , I want you to act as a messenger should the need arise.”

I nodded in understanding even though I also knew it was Lexa’s way of making sure that I gave myself more time to recover, “I am yours to command. As always.”

She nodded, giving me a small smile before she handed me the reins. Laying a hand on my good arm, she gave it a squeeze before leaving to speak with Indra. I sighed and ran my right hand over Arthos’ coat, enjoying the silkiness of it as I waited for Clarke to say something. 

When the silence had gone on long enough, I looked curiously over at Clarke and found her staring at me strangely, so I asked, “What is it, Clarke?”

That startled her and she blushed, “I’m still trying to put the Rook I knew into what I see now. It’s not quite working.”

I sighed and said, “That girl you knew, she died the day she got lost in the woods. I’m not even the same person I was when we forced Kane to watch the staged ritual. Each moment has stripped another layer away from me into what you see before you. I’m more me than I have ever been.”

“I’m glad that you found your place, Rook,” she admitted. “When Monty and Monroe told me that you were missing, it…it hurt. Not just because I felt it was my responsibility to keep you safe like the others, but because it was you. I know that I didn’t really show you that. For that, I’m sorry.”

“Clarke, we barely knew each other. Not on the Ark or down here. Why would you care about me like that,” I asked, confused by her admission.

She shrugged, “I don’t really know. I guess after seeing you after all this time, I regretted not knowing you better. Not putting in the effort when I could have. Then before I could get to know you, you disappeared.”

That stunned me and I didn’t know how to react. She seemed to understand, stepping closer she laid a hand on my cheek. My eyes closed at her touch and my chest tightened. Holding it a moment longer, she moved it until her hand rested on my chest over my heart. Opening my eyes, I looked at her questioningly.

“You are stronger than I could’ve ever imagined, Rook,” she said, staring into my eyes unerringly. “To go through what you have and surviving. Willing to sacrifice yourself for strangers because you believe their lives are more important than yours. You’re so much like my dad.”

“You have to stand up for your beliefs, Clarke,” I said laying a hand over hers. “You’re just as strong. You risked your life by confronting the Commander. Again, when you gave Finn a merciful death even if not everyone is happy about it. I know the choices that you’ve made haven’t been easy for you, but you did because you care for people. That’s just the kind of person you are. No matter the lives you are forced to take, you still save people. Remember that.”

“I like this version of you, Rook,” she said smiling. “There is so much to you that I don’t think I’d ever get the full picture. You’re so much more comfortable with yourself than I’ve ever seen. This place has been good for you. I’m just sorry that we couldn’t give that to you.”

I squeezed her hand, “It’s in the past, Clarke. Yeah, I wish the first fourteen years of my life had been a hell of a lot better, but because it wasn’t, it makes me appreciate what I have now that much more. Sometimes bad shit must happen for the good to be treasured. I’m okay with that. Or at least, I’m learning to be okay with that.”

She shook her head, smiling, “Yeah, you’re something else, Rook.”

I laughed and taking a chance, pulled her into a hug. When she stepped back, she looked at me in surprise and then laughed, “Dear lord, you’re like all muscle now. Is there, like, a single ounce of fat on you anymore?”

That made me laugh and the mood was suddenly lightened, “I’ve been working my ass off training for months now, Clarke. I know my stitches weren’t the only thing you were checking out the other day.”

Clarke blushed and leaned in to hide her head in my chest. She mumbled, “It was the scars and tattoo that I was checking out. Not your rock-hard abs.”

“Hah! You’ve just admitted to checking me out,” I laughed, pushing her away from me.

She huffed, “How could I not? They were right there in front of me.”

I just smirked and looked pleased with myself, so she smacked me on my chest.

“Speaking about the other day,” she said. “How’s that wound that you were stitching up?”

“It’s fine. Nyko removed the stitches while I was still unconscious, so the area around it is only slightly tender,” I replied easily.

“How is that even possible,” she asked incredulously.

Lying, I replied, “The medicinal plants that he uses speeds up the healing process. That salve that I put on works miracles.”

“I don’t believe you,” she looked at me sternly. “Let me look at it.”

I rolled my eyes but removed my cloak so that I could get to my side easier. Opening my jacket and lifting my shirt, I showed Clarke the sword wound. She bent down to look at it closer and gently prodded the newly formed scar. Her touch made me giggle which made her look up at me.

“I’m ticklish there,” I replied.

“Well, how were you able to stitch it up without making a sound,” she asked, returning to inspect the wound.

“I used a very potent alcohol that Glowing Forest makes. It completely deadened the nerves for a good couple of hours. I mean, this stuff makes Monty’s moonshine look like water. I got dizzy just from the fumes.”

“Damn, Griffin,” a voice called out. “I always knew you were an abs girl.”

Clarke straightened immediately, blushing before she turned around to face the speaker and said, “Raven, I was checking on a wound I saw her stitch up a couple of days ago.”

“But she does like my abs,” I piped up, grinning. “Called them rock hard. Wanna see for yourself?”

Raven walked closer, clearly interested and I lifted my shirt further to show her. She whistled and asked, “Damn. Are all you Grounders built like that? Where can I find me some?”

“What? Grounder or your own set of abs,” I asked. “Cuz you got a Grounder right in front of you. Though we don’t call ourselves that.”

She looked up at me sharply and replied, “And what do you call yourselves then?”

“ _Trikru_. You are in our lands after all. You are avoiding my question, Rae.”

“What was your question again,” she asked sounding disappointed as I pulled my shirt down.

I sighed as I set my clothes back to rights, “Were you looking for abs of your own or a person? And if it’s a person, male or female? If it’s abs, you need months and months of strenuous exercise. I mean, you looked toned enough, but there’s always room for improvement.”

“Hey! I’m more than toned, okay, Grounder,” she retorted slightly angrily.

“Whatever, Raven. Those spacewalks must’ve gone to your head,” I retorted.

“What do you know about spacewalks? I bet the closest you’ve been is falling out of a tree,” she sneered.

I took a step closer to her, but Clarke laid a hand on my chest to prevent me from going after Raven. 

“Raven,” Clarke said, glaring at the girl. “Rook knows more than you think and it’s not the greatest idea to piss off one of the Commander’s guards.”

“What the hell do you mean,” Raven demanded, crossing her arms across her chest, giving me death glares.

“I mean, this is our Rook. The one who disappeared from the dropship.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?!”

“She’s not,” I replied, icily. “I’m the same Rook who was second in class when we started the mechanics apprenticeship program on the Ark. Arrested four years ago for beating someone up. Turned eighteen a week after we landed here. Ring any bells?”

Her eyes widened as she looked between me and Clarke and then suddenly, she launched herself at me. I nearly reached for the knife at my side before I realized that she was hugging me. Hard. I looked at Clarke dumbfounded, but she was just as confused as I was. I awkwardly raised my arms and returned the hug and I soon heard cries coming from my chest.

“Rae,” I called worriedly. “Raven? Are you alright?”

I heard her sniffling and she started to pull out of the hug, so I let her go. She stepped back and wiped her eyes. Before a word could be said, she punched me in the face. It was unexpected and I reeled back from the impact.

“Raven,” Clarke yelled out and restrained her. “What the hell?!”

I heard people start to come forward and I held up a hand to stop them before reaching up and massaging my jaw.

Raven shook Clarke off and came up to me and said, “Don’t you ever do that to me again, Sarah Michelson! I thought you were fucking dead! Dead!”

My eyes widened in shock because I hadn’t heard my name in thirteen years and I was sure that no one knew it, but apparently Raven did.

“Who the fuck is Sarah,” Clarke asked, confused.

“Me,” I answered. “It’s my birth name, but I didn’t know that anyone actually knew it or remembered. So, how the fuck do _you_ know my real name, Raven?”

She waved her hand, dismissing my question and asked instead, “What the hell happened to you and how are you a fucking Grounder?!”

I growled menacingly and stalked closer to her, “Don’t you ever, _ever_ use that tone when you’re talking about my people, Raven. I don’t care who you are. If I hear you say something like that again…”

She backed away in fear and dropped her defensive posture, “I-I-I’m sorry. I’m just in shock, is all. Everybody is going to flip when they find out you’re alive.”

I closed my eyes and sighed, reining in my temper. When I opened them again, I said more gently, “I know it’s a shock, Rae. Trust me. I was just as shocked seeing you the other night.”

She nodded numbly and I turned to Clarke and said, “Maybe it’d be a good idea if the two of you make sure everyone’s ready to go. We want to get there before dark.”

“You’re coming with us,” Raven asked.

“Yeah, Rae. I’m coming with you. The Commander wants me to help there. Both with training your guards and helping you figure out how to deal with Mount Weather.”

She nodded and turned to head back to their little campsite. Clarke came up to me and laid a hand gently on my arm. I looked at her questioningly and she said, “Thank you for not making a big deal out of her.”

I shook my head ruefully and replied, “I know it was an automatic response, Clarke. But I’m also very protective of my people. I won’t tolerate your people disrespecting mine.”

“They’re your people too.”

“No, they aren’t. They haven’t been in a long time, Clarke. Maybe you and Raven, and maybe a couple of others, but the rest…I honestly don’t care if they live or die. I’m sorry if that’s not something you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”

“I can’t say that I understand, but I won’t hold it against you.”

“Thank you,” I said and then nudged her. “Go and make sure your people are ready to go.”

She nodded and gave me a parting hug. I watched her leave and then I turned around to find Lexa standing by Arthos. When she saw me, she jerked her head to the side, and I followed her until we were away from prying eyes.

“Is everything alright,” she asked when we were alone.

I nodded, “Yeah. Raven was just shocked to find out that I was alive after all this time.”

She hummed and reached up to gently cup the side of my face that Raven hit, “She’s got a funny way of showing it.”

I chuckled, “Maybe, but it’s fine. I was angry at the way she called me a Grounder. Like it was the worse thing I could’ve done.”

“Does she know the truth about you,” she asked as she continued to gently stroke my face.

I closed my eyes at the sensation and answered, “No. She doesn’t know about the abuse or the reason behind my arrest. I’ll probably be having a long sit down with her and explain everything, but I’m okay with that.”

“Are you, really?”

I smiled and looked at her, “Yeah, I am. We were kinda friends on the Ark. Competitive with each other, but at the same time we respected one another. If I’m to help her, the air needs to be cleared between us to keep back any hostility.”

“You are a better woman than I, Rook,” she said and moved closer to kiss me.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer. Laying my head on her shoulder, I inhaled her scent deeply and said, “I’m going to miss you.”

She chuckled, “I’m going to miss you, too. But this is for the best. Your skills are better used in the Skaikru camp than here.”

“I know. I just wish we could take a few minutes and slow down. Breathe a little.”

“Once this _Belomi_ gets to the radio that _Klark’s_ people have hidden inside, it’ll be the beginning of the end. After that, we can breathe,” she said, rubbing circles on my back.

I sighed and kissed her along her pulse point, making her shiver and then I pulled back to look at her. I leaned down to kiss her more fully and felt her arms tighten around me.

When we parted again, we let each other go and I said, “I hope you’re right, _Leksa_. I should probably go and make sure that Arthos hasn’t wandered off.”

She smiled and nodded, “He probably hasn’t moved an inch, but you left your cloak within easy reach of his head.”

“Shit,” I said and leaned down to kiss her once more before I started walking away. I turned back, “ _Ste klir, Heda_.”

“ _Ste klir, Pakripa_ ,” she returned.

I walked back over to Arthos and made sure that my pack was tightly secured to the saddle. Luckily, he hadn’t gotten ahold of my cloak, so I quickly put it back on as I waited for everyone else. I spent the rest of the time running my hands over him, feeling the soft hair through my right. Finally, Indra called out that it was time to leave and I mounted, turning him towards the group. I followed behind them taking up the rear so that I would be forced to their pace and not get far ahead of them. The atmosphere was tense. The only conversation seemed to come from _Skaikru_. As the miles trudged on, I relaxed and listened to the sounds of the forest around us, keeping an ear out for danger. After a few hours, I noticed that Raven was starting to lag. I looked her over and that was when I saw the brace on her leg. I frowned and wondered what had happened, but in the same thought, I nudged Arthos closer to her and she looked up at me in surprise.

“You alright there, Rae,” I asked her.

She nodded, “Yeah. I’m fine. No worries.”

“Rae, you’re starting to fall back,” I told her.

She looked around and saw that we had indeed fallen behind the entire group.

“Fuck,” she said, breathlessly.

“Give me your arm,” I told her, reaching down.

She looked up at me in surprise and said, “What?”

Smiling, I repeated. “Give me your arm. You’re riding with me.”

“On that thing?!”

“This is Arthos. Not a thing. You’re having trouble walking and I’m not going to take no for an answer.”

She shook her head and took a step back, “Nope. Not gonna get on that thing. You can’t make me.”

I sighed and in one swift motion I was on the ground, walking towards her. She kept backing away, but I caught her. I took the pack from her shoulders and tied it to the saddle. Then I grabbed her and lifted her up onto the saddle, making her squeal in fright and making Arthos lay his ears back. I calmed him down and got up behind her. I shifted until we were both comfortable and clicked my tongue to get Arthos moving again. She gasped at the sensation and I wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her from falling.

“Much faster,” I said. “Relax into me, Raven. I’m not going to let you fall and if you stay stiff, it’s going to hurt more when we dismount.”

“Relax? You want me to relax while I’m on this monster,” she said, turning her head to look at me.

I chuckled and said, “Arthos is a horse, not a monster. Relax into the movement.”

“This is so fucking weird. I’m on a horse. A fucking horse! Give me a zero-g environment any day,” she said, but she was slowly relaxing.

“Oh, yeah. I remember hearing that you got that position,” I said. “What was it like to be out in space?”

“Absolutely amazing,” she replied. “Completely weightless. I’ve never felt so free. I loved every minute of it.”

I chuckled at the joy in her voice, “Did you at least remember to do the work?”

“I did. Tell me about how you came to be in Tondc.”

“Alright. You see, it was shortly after we’d gotten down here…” I started.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rook and Raven talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not really too happy with this chapter. I've rewritten it about five times and I think this is the best I can do. Now, I just need to make sure that the following chapters work with it.

I told her everything that had happened to me and the more I talked, the more she relaxed. When I was done, my throat was parched and scratchy from speaking for so long. Reaching for my water pouch, I swallowed a few gulps before I offered it to Raven. She drank some and handed it back to me.

I waited for Raven to say something because it was a very rare occurrence when she didn’t have something to say, but instead silence seemed to envelop us and the only sounds that reached our ears were the sounds of nature and the group we were following. I didn’t mind it and I let my mind wonder as to how the war meeting was going. If the various generals were listening to what Clarke said or if they were tearing into her. Even though my only experience was dealing with Indra and Lexa, both intelligent women and fierce warriors who would take Clarke’s words into account with the overall war planning, I wasn’t so sure about the other generals. I knew _Azgeda_ would probably argue against anything Clarke said just because they would see her, and by extension, _Skaikru_ , as weak.

I sighed and shifted slightly knowing that Clarke would have an uphill battle convincing everyone attending the meeting that typical approaches wouldn’t work. I also knew that Lexa couldn’t show Clarke outward support because that would show weakness on her part. It was bad enough that there was no retaliation against the loss of 300 warriors. It was worse that Clarke received no punishment for giving Finn a merciful death. Jus drein jus daun was a long-standing tradition and the fact that Lexa, as Commander, hadn’t exacted nearly a strong enough blood price in the eyes of the Coalition has probably made some of the clans begin questioning her.

It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair in my mind. Tradition was all well and good, but it shouldn’t make you so close minded that you missed a better solution. A solution that had the potential to save more lives than it would take. Lexa knew this. It’s why she had been successful in creating the Coalition in the first place. She wanted to end the century of blood that had ran rampant through the clans and for the most part, she had. _Skaikru_ , unfortunately, had thrown a wrench into her hard-fought peace. I just hoped that after this was over, it strengthened the peace and things could get better for Lexa. After everything she’d been through, all that she’d sacrificed, she deserved her own chance of peace and happiness. We all did.

“Can I ask you a question,” Raven asked, breaking into my thoughts.

Her tone sounded nervous, making me cautious, “Yeah, but I can’t promise that I’ll answer or that you’ll like what I say.”

She nodded, “Fair enough. Did you ever think about escaping? Getting away and coming back to the dropship?”

I was expecting that question and I gave it some thought before I answered, sighing, “Honestly, not really. Maybe a little bit when I was beginning to recover, but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to go back.”

“Why,” she asked, turning her head to look at me.

I gave her a wan smile, “Because there was nothing for me there.”

“But your people were there.”

I sighed, “Rae, they stopped being my people a long time ago. Before we ever came down. The only reason people spoke to me was because I could give them something they wanted. Protection and technical skills. Until the day before yesterday, I thought no one cared that I’d disappeared.”

“What do you mean?”

I shifted in the saddle feeling a touch uncomfortable, but answered anyway, “I didn’t have a good life growing up on the Ark, Rae. My parents verbally and emotionally abused me. I truly believed them when they said that I was worthless and no one would ever love me. Want to be with me either as a partner or a friend. It’s why I kept to myself. Then it got worse.”

“Worse? How?”

“A man noticed that I spent a lot of time staring at a girl. He was homophobic and began bullying me. I tried to look for help, but no one wanted to help me. Between my parents and him, living became unbearable. I tried to kill myself—”

“What,” she screeched, making Arthos jerk and dance underneath us.

I quickly got him under control as she apologized. Taking a slow breath to calm myself, I continued, “Obviously, I didn’t go through with it, Raven. I couldn’t. Instead, I hunted the man down and beat him until guards pulled me off him. I was thrown into Lockup without ever speaking with the Council. The only time anyone spoke to me was to ask for protection. When we landed, the only thing anybody was interested in was if I could get the communications up and running. So, between my parents making me believe that no one would ever want me and everybody else only wanting me for what I could do…it’s not that hard to believe that I thought no one cared about me personally.”

“I never knew,” she said softly.

The chuckle that passed my lips was humorless, “How could you? It’s not like I spoke to anyone about what was going on in my life.”

There was a long pause before she decided to ask, “What changed your opinion?”

“That night outside your camp, I was in the Commander’s tent. Ordered to watch over Clarke and make sure no harm came to her,” I began. “Kane came in and told her that she did the right thing. Told her about a ritual that he was witness to and that it involved one of the 100 who came down with her.”

“Who?”

“Me,” I replied shortly. “He came to us looking for peace and had shown a willingness to sacrifice himself for his people, but the Commander felt that he truly did not grasp the severity of what Finn had done. So, we decided to stage a ritual. Death by a Thousand Cuts. At the time, I wasn’t in a very good place. I was angry and guilt-ridden. My parents’ voices in my head telling me that Ava’s and Artigas’ deaths proved that I would never have someone. So, a part of me felt that I deserved it. I deserved to be beaten and placed on the pole. To have people that I felt I had let down cut me.”

“But…”

“It’s what I felt,” I said softly. “That’s all I’m saying. I trusted the people in my village. I trusted the Commander. I trusted everyone involved that no lasting harm would come to me. And none did. I recovered in a couple of days. But, back to what I was trying to get at…When he told her about what he had witnessed, I saw that he regretted my death. Clarke was obviously livid because she had remembered me from when we were little. That was the first time that I ever knew that people remembered me and maybe, just maybe cared about me.”

“Wait? Are you saying that no one knew that you and the person they were talking about were the same person,” she looked back at me incredulously.

I snorted a laugh, “Did you recognize me when you saw me earlier?”

“No,” she replied. “You look nothing like the fourteen-year old girl I remember from class.”

“And I look nothing like I did when I landed which is the last time Clarke saw me,” I said.

“It’s the tattoos and muscles, but your eyes are the same. I’d know them anywhere.”

I smiled softly, “That’s what kept throwing Clarke off. She remembered my eyes but couldn’t place them.”

“How come you never told us who you were?”

“Orders. The Commander wanted to keep me safe from both your people and other clans. It wasn’t until last night that I could drop all pretense and admit to Clarke who I really am.”

“Did that bother you?”

I shrugged, “Not really. I only got tired of being referred to as _Pakripa_ all the time.”

“Wow,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “The way you said that makes it sounds like you don’t care about us.”

I sighed, “You, Clarke, and maybe a couple of others are the only people I care if you live or die. The rest of your people…I just don’t.”

“But they’re your people too, Rook. How can you not care about them?!”

“They didn’t care about me when I was being abused and bullied,” I argued. “Why should I turn around and care about them now? Why should I care about people who throw away lives so haphazardly? Who only care about what you can do for them? Who think they’re better than us just because they still use technology?”

I felt Raven shut down after that and I let her. I had just told her the honest truth. Comparatively speaking, _Trikru_ cherished life as opposed to the way _Skaikru_ viewed life. Yes, the world I lived in now was violent, but no life was worth more than another. I was shown that I had worth. That I was worthy. That I was deserving of the good things in life. That I could find love and have it returned. That I have people who care whether I live or die.

On the Ark, I had none of that. I was an extra mouth to feed. A reason for larger rations. My only worth was based on what I could do, not who I was as a person. No one cared why I beat that man up, just that I had taken the man’s ability to work and become a waste of resources. I knew, in my heart, that if I had stayed on the Ark, I would have been floated on my eighteenth birthday.

To me, it was a no brainer as to who I chose to stay with. Who my people truly were. And it wasn’t the ones I was heading towards.

We rode in silence after that. I had obviously struck a nerve with Raven and I was fine letting her stew in her own thoughts. I hoped that maybe after she was done thinking about it, she would come to understand my reasons. She didn’t have to be happy with the choice I’ve made, but I wanted her to be okay with it. I needed her to be because like with Clarke, her opinion of me mattered.

I sighed and shifted slightly making her stir, but I quickly reassured her, “You’re fine, Rae. If you fall asleep, I’ll make sure that you don’t fall off.”

“So, you do care,” she snarked.

I groaned in frustration, “Rae, I care about you. I always have. Once Clarke told us why we were sent down, I worried about you. And I really am happy that you made it down safely.”

“Why do you care about me?”

I felt a growl build in my chest and felt her stiffen suddenly. It was the first time that I’d ever made such an animalistic noise before and it surprised me. I wanted to turn my thoughts to process this new development, but instead I tamped it down and focused on her question.

Clearing my throat, “Because as brief as our time together was, I came to like you. I liked how you challenged me in class. The only time I smiled and it was heartfelt was when I would listen to you snark back at the instructors. Going to class was the only thing I looked forward to every day and it was because I got to be around you. That was the only thing that kept me going.”

I stopped myself from delving further into why I cared for her. I wasn’t ready to tell her that I had a crush on her when we were younger. Or that I spent a lot of time in Lockup thinking about her. I couldn’t admit that to her. Not after the conversation we’d been having. I didn’t want to open myself up to the possible hurt or the inevitable teasing that I’m sure would happen if she knew.

“So, it has nothing to do with the fact that I am a genius and you need my expertise in getting into the Mountain?”

I sighed heavily, “No. That’s just a bonus. I was already making plans on what to do if your people left Alpha Station.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had already told the Commander that if you left it intact, I could probably get into the servers and retrieve more information on Mount Weather.”

“And she was okay with you doing something like that?”

“Yes. Our people may not trust technology, but the Commander is smart enough to not let an opportunity like my connection to the Ark go to waste.”

“So why settle for an alliance if she has you?”

“Because I’m just one person, Rae,” I told her softly. “With the alliance, it means that she has more tools at her disposal. Clarke’s inside knowledge of the facility. _Skaikru_ guns that give us an edge in the fighting. Abby’s medical knowledge means that we’ll be able to remove the threat of the Reapers and return them to their people. Combining your genius with mine means that we’ll be able to figure out how to get past our biggest obstacles. The acid fog and the doors. The Coalition is able to provide tactical experience and numbers. It all evens out to give us what we need to finally be rid of them.”

“It sounds like you expect us to do all the hard work, Rook,” she huffed in irritation. “What do we get out of this?”

“Your lives. Your lives and a chance to live,” I replied. “Otherwise, it’s war and the end of _Skaikru_. Or a forced march towards the Wastelands where there is no food or water.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll go with the alliance.”

I smirked behind her, “I thought you’d say that. Now, it’s just a matter of convincing the rest of your people and mine that it’ll be worth it.”

“That’s easier said than done, Rook.”

“I know,” I said deflating slightly. “Well, it looks like it’s time to put on your thinking cap, Rae. We’re coming up on the Ark.”

Looking up through the trees, the broken ring of Alpha Station began looming. I wasn’t looking forward to stepping back inside that metal structure, but if I was to be any help, I knew I would have to. Thank all that’s holy that we brought tents along and I wouldn’t have to sleep inside the cold and impersonal metal giant. Not anymore.

I clicked my tongue and Arthos picked up his pace. Soon we were crossing the open expanse and I could hear the hum of the electric fence as it powered down. The gate swung open as the people crowded the main road in. Their murmurs reached my more sensitive ears and I wasn’t too pleased by what I heard. Though there was some curiosity, there was mostly inflections of fear and hatred.

It was going to take a lot of effort for our small band of warriors to cross the divide and show them that we were willing to work together. I just hoped that I wouldn’t find myself regretting our choice.


	26. Chapter 26

After the debacle Kane had called a reception, Indra and I ushered the warriors we had brought with us to an area just outside Alpha Station and set up a training ring. At this moment, only Indra and I stood off to the side as we watched the warriors take on each other. I stayed silent while Indra called out mistakes to be rectified.

“ _Do your wounds pain you, Ruk_ ,” Indra asked during a lull and only sparing me a glance.

“ _No, they do not, Indra_ ,” I replied. “ _I am only thinking_.”

“ _About_ ,” she pushed.

Sighing, I said, “ _Exactly what we are hoping to accomplish here. This feels more like an exhibition. Showing each other what we can do. While we train here in the pits, Kane trains his men with their fayagons. There is no intermingling. No trading of information. I know that our people will never pick up their weapons. I accept that. I just do not understand why they will not train with us. Indra, this will only work if we band together and yet neither side wishes to take the first step forward, especially upon our arrival here_.”

“ _Are you second guessing this alliance, Ruk_ ,” she asked turning to look at me fully.

I shook my head, “ _No. We need them to free our people. I’ve known that since you told me about the Maunon. What we need is someone to take the first step. We cannot since no one dares to pick up a fayagon. So, it needs to be one of them_.”

Indra nodded as she took in the people watching us train and then said, “ _I think you’re about to get your wish. Good, Fio!_ Who’s next?”

“I am,” a voice called out and I turned to see Octavia walk forward. “We’re supposed to train together, right?”

Indra scoffed and I knew that she was silently egging the girl on, “Only warriors train here.”

“I saved your life,” she rebutted already becoming angry.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes as Indra countered, “And now I’m saving yours. _Pakripa, it’s your turn_.”

“ _Sha, Indra_ ,” I said and stepped into the pit, shaking myself out to loosen my limbs. “ _How many_?”

“Three on one,” she replied in _Gonasleng_. “You are still recovering.”

I barked a laugh, “Very well.”

Everyone backed to the edge of the ring except for Fio and two others. Since this was hand to hand, I had already discarded my weapons and outer armor and stood loosely as they circled around me. I followed them with my eyes as I waited for them to attack. When it became apparent that I wasn’t going to make the first move, the one on my left charged forward with a yell. I waited until the last minute before I sidestepped and kicked him in his back. He went sprawling as the one that had been on my right leapt over him and tried to punch me. I ducked under their swing as I laid two punches into their gut and then an uppercut to their chin. Flying backwards, I followed and when they landed, reached for their head with one hand and punched them in the face until they were out. 

One down and two to go. I glanced over at Fio and saw that he was letting the other two tire me out before he took me on. It was a smart move and I let him have it as the first guy came after me before I had a chance to stand up. His foot came up to kick me in the face, but I pivoted in the mud and swept my leg up to kick him and sent him face first into the mud. He rolled immediately and we both stood at the same time. I decided to attack this time and traded a flurry of punches with him until a feint left his weak side open. My fist connected with his kidney, his ribs, and I moved to his back to where I grabbed him in a chokehold while pushing him down onto his knees. Already gasping for breath, it wasn’t long before he tapped out.

That left me with Fio. I knew he was better than me, which meant that I had to be careful not to open myself up to one of his quick strikes. I moved away from the two still lying on the ground and he moved closer to me. After a moment to study one another, I went on the offense. He easily blocked my punch and I countered his kick. We traded punches and kicks like we were trading baseball cards. Neither one of us giving each other an inch. It wasn’t until I felt the first raindrops falling that I finally had my opening. Without any hair, the rain began falling more freely down his face and just as the Bounstoka had waited for that moment of me wiping sweat from my eye, I waited until Fio’s eyes began blinking rapidly to dispel the water. I dropped suddenly and swept my leg to take his legs from underneath him. As soon as he landed, I was on him and quickly maneuvered myself until I had him trapped in a grappling hold. I held on with all my might as he tried to get free, but I outlasted him and I felt him tap out.

I let up immediately and sprung to my feet, holding out an arm to help him up. I heard my name called out by the other warriors and we shared a grin.

“ _You did well, Pakripa_ ,” he said as we moved off to the side and others took our place.

“ _Mochof, Fio. Coming from you, that means a lot_ ,” I replied.

Before he could say anything else, Indra called out, “Rook, someone wishes to have a word with you.”

I snapped my head over to look at her and saw Raven standing near her, slack jawed with wide eyes. I nodded to Fio and jogged the short way over to them.

“Did you need something, Raven,” I asked when I came up to them.

Raven could only stare at me, her mouth opening and closing like a stranded fish.

So, I walked up to her, reached up to touch her arm and asked, concerned, “Rae? You alright?”

That seemed to snap her out of it. She blinked a couple of times, her focus finally turning to me and asked, “Where the hell did you learn to fight like that?”

I chuckled and shook my head, “Rae, I’ve always been able to fight. Not well, but when I was adopted, they taught me how to fight properly. Both hand to hand and with weapons.”

“That was insane,” she breathed out making Indra roll her eyes and move away from us.

“That wasn’t really anything, but that’s not why you’re here, right,” I prodded.

“What? No, you’re right,” she said, shaking the last remnants of shock. “I was wondering how much you remembered from class, because Wick and I are having some difficulty.”

“Difficulty with what?”

“The chemical composition of the acid fog, mainly. We know that they can control its dispersal, but they got to wait for it to clear on its own. There’s got to be a way to neutralize it, but we don’t know how.”

I stood there thinking about it and asked, “Does the server have Mount Weather plans, or did they just only know that it was supposed to be fully stocked?”

“I’ve tried looking it up, but all that comes up is a generalization of the bunker.”

“What about the restricted files?”

“Restricted files?”

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, those. Most of the stations had their own set of restricted files that were meant for the eyes of the very few. Country leaders only. Since it was a government facility, there should be a mentioning of it in those files.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin to look for it.”

“But I do,” I said with a grin. “I was always better at the computer stuff than you were along with the electronics shit. Can you get me a tablet that has access to the servers?”

She grinned, “That is something that I can do.”

I grinned back, “So, do you have one on you?”

“Not on me, no,” she said and then looked around. “Come inside and I’ll take you to my workshop.”

“Alright,” I replied and followed her inside the station.

This time around, there was only the two of us walking the halls and I listened as our steps clunked loudly on the floors. I listened as the steps echoed off the walls and fought the urge to flinch whenever I would hear a high-pitched ping. I rubbed my ears delicately to erase the slight discomfort and turned my focus to Raven. My eyes roamed the length of her as she walked slightly in front of me and I had to really admit that she had become even more beautiful than I had remembered. Even with the now ever-present limp because of her brace, there was a swagger to her step that brought a smile to my lips. Her ponytail swaying with each movement. I felt a rumble of appreciation build in my chest and once more surprised myself by how animalistic I sounded. It stopped once I realized what I was doing, but it made me wonder what the hell was going on with me. I needed to talk to Nyko as soon as I got back to the village if shit like this kept happening.

Losing myself in my thoughts, I didn’t notice that she had come to a stop. I all but ran into her and before she could fall, I grabbed her waist to hold both of us steady. For a moment neither one of us thought to move, but then I abruptly let go feeling a blush creep up my neck.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“You still get lost in your head, don’t you,” she said, smirking as she glanced over her shoulder at me.

My blush crawled to my cheeks and I replied, “Sometimes. I’ve gotten better, just apparently not when I think about certain things.”

Her smirk widened, “Oh, really? Do tell?”

“ _Shof op, Reivon_ ,” I snarled still feeling embarrassed.

She laughed, “Okay. That I understood. I kinda like how my name sounds when you say it like that.”

I closed my eyes and sighed, “Focus, Rae. You were taking me to something that has access to the servers.”

She pouted, “You’re no fun.”

Opening my eyes, I said, “Rae, I’m glad that you don’t seem mad at me after our conversation earlier, but I’ve got mud drying and it’s beginning to get itchy.”

“Yeah, alright,” she said, looking me over. “Come on. I’ve got a computer in here you can use.”

“Thank you,” I said and followed her into the room.

I looked around as we walked to the far side of the room. It was filled with shelves that were full of bits and pieces of tech. There was a light board along one side of the wall and I could see different formulas and equations had already been written on it. There was also a drawing of a dam.

“What’s with the dam,” I asked her.

She glanced over and replied, “Mount Weather gets their power from a dam called Phillpot Dam. Hydroelectric generators. I believe Clarke said there’s like four or five of them.”

“Damn. That’s a lot of power. Mount Weather must be a huge facility if they need five of them. That’s probably not counting any secondary sources of power they may have,” I said as I settled in front of the computer.

“Oh, shit. I didn’t even think about those,” she said.

“Really, Rae? You know places like this have more than one power supply. They’ll have backup generators to keep life support going and containment systems if the main source goes out.”

“You’re right. I’ll have to add that to my list of things that we need to take care of. Well, here’s the computer you need.”

“Yep,” I said and turned to face it. 

Taking off the brace and glove, I wiped my hand on a rag that she had laying around and then began typing. She stood by silently watching me and I could see her body tense with questions.

“Ask, Rae,” I said, not looking up at her. “What do you want to know?”

“What’s up with the brace and glove,” she blurted out.

“When I was attacked by the wolf, she tore into my forearm,” I said. “Broke both bones and tore up muscles, tendons, ligaments, and nerves. Everything healed okay, but I lost all feeling from the elbow down. I even had to work on making sure my fingers didn’t curl into my palm. That’s why I’m able to still use my hand. Anyway, I went hunting and was injured by a boar, but I didn’t know it until I almost passed out from blood loss. One of the boars had gashed open my arm and I hadn’t felt it. Since I had no desire to experience that again, Ava and I went to a leather worker and designed both the brace and glove. It gives me better protection.”

“Do you miss her? Ava,” she asked softly.

“Every minute of every day,” I told her honestly. “Ava was my first everything, like Finn was for you. She was the first person to see me and not what I could do. But I know that one day, I’ll see her again. The Trikru believe in reincarnation. That’s why they burn the dead. It releases their _keryon_ , their souls, to be reborn.”

“I never really understood that kind of stuff. Don’t really see a point to it,” she said as she moved to a table and started fiddling with wires. “Do you?”

I sighed and turned to look at her, “I didn’t used to, but coming down here…I’ve seen things that aren’t easily explained by science. I’ve felt things. Life on the ground is hard, Rae. Often people don’t get to live very long lives. Whether it’s because of an accident, sickness, a weapon, or nature. So, why not believe that you’re going to be given another chance to live? There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Like a do-over?”

I shrugged and turned back to the computer to begin typing again, “Maybe. Even though my people believe in reincarnation, they still make the most of the life they’re given. Yes, there are still bad people in the world, but you can’t have one without the other. There’ll always be a balance. Anyway, if you’re thinking about Finn and if he could be reborn and maybe do better the next time around, it’s a good thought to have. To hope for.”

“I think I’d like that.” 

I nodded, cleared my throat and refocused on hacking my way through the Ark servers. She fell silent then and after a squeeze on my shoulder, she walked away to let me work. 

“You haven’t asked,” she said suddenly into the silence.

I paused my typing and looked over at her in confusion, “What’re you talking about?”

“My leg,” she said and pointed to her brace. 

“Oh,” I shrugged. “I am curious, but I’m not one to pry, truthfully. But, now that you’ve opened up about it, what happened?”

“Murphy,” she supplied. “He had been kicked out of camp after Wells was killed by some thirteen-old girl, but he came back. He had been captured and tortured and then released. Our dumbasses let him stay in camp, given a second chance, you know? Anyway, to make a long story short, he was holding Bellamy hostage and I had snuck underneath the dropship to release the doors. I made some noise and ended up shot. The bullet lodged in my lower spine and Dr. Griffin was able to remove it, but I have nerve damage in my leg. I can’t feel anything below my thigh.”

I shook my head in disappointment, “And yet, the bastard is still alive and you now have to wear a brace to walk. That sucks.”

She shrugged, “It’s better than walking with crutches. Are you telling me that you really weren’t going to ask?”

“Raven, I know that I’ve been open about what’s happened to me, but I don’t expect it in return. You don’t like it when people pry into your life. I mean, in all the time I’ve known you, you never once told me what your mother was doing or that you were relying on Finn to keep you fed. I didn’t find out until I met him in Lockup. You and I have had a shitty upbringing and bad things have happened to both of us since we’ve landed, but I don’t want pity or sympathy. I don’t think you want that either. I was just trying to respect that.”

“Well, fuck,” she chuckled. “You’re like a breath of fresh air compared to everyone else around here. I’m sorry I haven’t been real receptive on respecting your choice to stay with the Grounders. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the whole thing.”

“Rae, I know you haven’t had the best experience with dealing with my people. Your experience has only been with the scouts and warriors. An army sent to deal with invaders,” I told her in understanding. “But, they are only a small part. Yes, everyone is taught to fight, to defend themselves, but not all of them are bloodthirsty killers. There are farmers, hunters, artisans, traders, mothers, fathers, children. If you had bothered to spend a little bit of time roaming Tondc, you would have seen that.”

“I’m not sure that I would’ve been able to do that. They seemed quite hostile towards us,” she shook her head ruefully.

I snorted, “That’s because you burned down a village, killed 300 warriors and eighteen innocent people. Not you personally, but as a people. You use guns and technology like the Mountain Men. People that have been killing, kidnapping, and turning our people into Reapers for decades. It’s hard to trust people who have done that and act so similar to our greatest enemy.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that. We haven’t made the greatest first impression since we landed, but how did you manage it?”

“By willing to learn and not thinking that I was better than them,” I replied simply. “I learned their language, respect their culture, and learned what they were willing to teach me. I never once thought I was better than them because I come from a culture that relies on computers and technology to live. For everything that technology can give us, it can’t tell you what plants you can eat or use for medicine. How to read the weather or hunt without driving the animals away. Technology can’t build homes or make clothes or anything else that you need down here.”

“Okay, I get it. Without their knowledge, we’ll freeze and starve. I can work with that.”

“Good. Now, I’m gonna turn around and finish this because I really, really hate how dirty I feel right now,” I said turning around and typing again.

She only laughed but left me alone to work. It took me a bit longer and then I yelled out triumphantly when I came across the files that we were so desperately needing. I quickly went through them, frowning when I saw that there was a missile silo. There was also a self-destruct set into the bunker as well. I searched for anything that would give way to some kind of dispersal system, but it was tough going. There was nothing showing up which meant that it was added or created after the initial encounter.

“Hey, Rae,” I said, recalling her attention. “From what I’m reading, there was never any kind of dispersal system. Mount Weather was built and designed to handle diseases and disaster relief besides being a part of a government continuity plan.”

“What does that mean?”

“What it means is that they have a large medical facility to experiment with chemicals and things of that nature,” I said looking over at her. “More than likely, they created the fog using the chemicals on hand and then built a dispersal system to deter the people on the surface from breaching the bunker.” 

She moved behind me and leaned over until I could feel her breath tickle the side of my neck, “You’re right.”

I nodded and scooted a bit out of the way, “But there’s a list of chemicals that would have been stocked. With that list, you may be able to extrapolate which combination would produce the acid fog.”

“That should help us,” she said, nodding to herself. “Thanks for the help.”

“It’s why I’m here,” I told her. “Besides helping Indra.”

“Was there anything else you saw,” she asked turning to look at me.

I frowned and nodded, “Yeah, they’ve got a missile silo and self-destruct. I only glanced so I don’t know how many missiles the place is supposed to have. From what Ava told me, there’s been at least one missile used after we discovered that there were people in the Mountain. That was supposedly maybe thirty years ago. Maybe longer?”

“Show me,” she ordered and I quickly went to the section that told us about the armaments.

We looked it over and then shared a look before she said, “This says that it could hold up to ten missiles when fully stocked. It also looks like the missiles can be controlled by a command center.”

“Yeah, but we don’t know if it was or not. Once Bellamy makes contact, I’m not sure that he’ll have the time to find out. The silo itself is just off-site, but it’s in the acid fog zone.”

“Which means that we can’t really send anybody out there to scout the location. And there’s only three, maybe four of us who would know how to disable them.”

“Right,” I said, thinking. “There’s nothing we can do about it. The self-destruct may come in handy. There’s a master code that will work regardless of any changes they’ve made, but that’s last ditch, I think.”

Raven nodded, “I agree. And it looks like it can only be accessed through the President’s office.”

“Something to keep in mind, that’s for sure,” I said and stood up. “If you don’t need me anymore. I’m gonna head back out. Enclosed spaces just don’t work for me anymore.”

“Yeah, we’re good,” she said, looking at me. “Thanks for your help.”

“Sure. I’ll be around if you need anything else,” I replied and started to head out.

“Hey, Rook,” she called out making me turn to look at her. “I really am glad you’re not dead.”

“I’m glad you’re not dead either, Raven,” I said smiling. “You’re too damn beautiful to be dead.”

Before she had a chance to respond, I was out the door and headed quickly outside.


	27. Chapter 27

When I stepped outside it was just in time to hear Indra call a stop to the training and called out, “ _Enough! Enough! I hope you’ve saved some energy for a hunt. I’m told our hosts have no food_.”

They gave out a small cheer and began to move, but Octavia suddenly appeared and asked, “Time for one more?”

“Step aside, Sky girl. We’re hungry,” Indra growled at her, ignoring her request.

“Make me,” she said, defiantly.

Indra took a moment to think about it and looking at me said, “Rook, give this girl what she wants.”

I walked up to Indra and she handed me my sword before I headed into the pit. Octavia followed and I gave her a moment to prepare herself before I attacked. She clumsily blocked my attack and I quickly countered making her land on her back. I stepped back and waited.

She gave me a look and said, “You gonna give up that easily?”

I looked at Indra and she said, “She wants more. Oblige her.”

Nodding, I attacked again. Without much effort, I knocked her down again and again, but she kept getting back up. She was attacking me angrily and I knew each move before she did. It was an unfair fight, but I kept at it as long as she did.

Finally, Indra called out, “Finish it.”

Without a word, I attacked her more viciously than I had previously. She went down after a blow to her chest. I stepped back and was surprised to see her try to get back up again.

I went to attack again, but Indra called a halt, “Enough, even a fool knows when to surrender.”

I walked back to her, sheathing my sword, and watched as Kane went to help Octavia up. I was surprised that Indra seemed to be watching the girl with a touch of respect.

“Indra,” I inquired.

She looked at me and said, “A tent’s been prepared for you, Rook. Go and rest. We’ll bring back meat from the hunt.”

I nodded, “Yes, Indra.”

She signaled her men and I headed over to where they had erected tents. I found mine and went in. I noticed that my armor and weapons had already been put up by someone, except for the sword in my hand. I put that away and took off my jacket to hang on the center pole holding my tent up. Feeling the mud from the pit, dry and entrench itself further into my skin, I headed back out to get some water to wash it off. Back inside the tent, I stripped down to my chest bindings and boy shorts and began cleaning myself off.

When I was nearly done, there was a knock on the outside tent pole. Without thinking, I called out for them to enter, still intent on getting the last bit of mud off me. There was a slight rustle and then a soft gasp.

I turned my head and found Octavia standing there with her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open. Her eyes flicked to my face and she suddenly turned crimson.

“I, I, um, I can step outside if you need a minute,” she stammered out, turning to head back outside.

“It’s fine, Octavia,” I reassured her. “I’m just about done. Was there something you needed?”

She about faced, keeping her eyes downcast and murmured, “Um, I don’t know. Maybe?”

I chuckled, shaking my head, “Maybe?”

She toed the ground with her boot before she looked up and said, “Indra asked me to become her Second.”

“That is a great honor, Octavia,” I told her. “She’s a general in the army and clan chief of Tondc.”

“Can I ask you something,” she said, keeping her head down but I could see that she was watching me through her lashes.

“You can,” I replied curiously, turning to face her as I toweled myself dry.

“She called you Rook,” she said finally looking me in the eyes. “Are you the same Rook that disappeared when we first landed?”

I nodded, “I am. I got lost that day and then was attacked by the _Bounstoka_. Hunters heard my screams and brought me to the village where Nyko saved my life. Afterwards, Indra adopted me into the clan. I’ve been there ever since.”

“The _Bounstoka_?”

“White Wolf in Trigedasleng.”

“That’s the, um, language the Grounders speak, right?”

“That’s right,” I replied. Taking pity on her flushed skin, I pulled out a clean shirt and dressed.

She visibly relaxed and took a few more steps inside. She motioned to a chair and I nodded, letting her sit. I took a seat on my cot, eyeing her curiously. I noted that she was already braiding her hair in _Trikru_ fashion as she fidgeted with the strap of her sword that was slung across her back.

Curious, I asked, “Can I ask who taught you to braid your hair like that?”

She looked up at me startled and couldn’t hide the smile that crept across her lips, “Lincoln. He saved my life after I’d fallen down a ravine. We started to get to know each other and things happened. Was it hard getting adopted into the clan?”

I shrugged, “I’m not sure what the requirements are, but it was Indra’s decision to make. After I’d fully healed, she told me her decision. Next day, I was getting tattooed and adopted.”

“Did you design it yourself?”

I chuckled ruefully, “No. Indra did. Before you ask, the face was intentional. Both she and the Commander wanted to distance me from _Skaikru_ as much as possible. Hide my origin for safety reasons.”

“Why would they want to do that,” she asked, looking over at me confused.

“Um, they didn’t want to risk retaliation. From either _Skaikru_ or the other clans if anyone found out I was living there.”

“Is that why you’ve only been referred to as _Pakripa_?”

“Yep,” I said. “Normally, outside the village that is all I’m allowed to be called. Now that the alliance is settled, I guess I can be called by my name.”

“What’s it like? Living there?”

I shrugged, “It’s not like living on the Ark. Indra decided that I should train to become a warrior and was given a mentor to train under. I spent my time training with him and learning from Nyko. Artigas and his father showed me how to hunt. And Ava…Ava taught me everything else.”

“Who’s Ava,” she asked quietly.

I sighed and replied, “She was my girlfriend. My lover. I was planning on asking her to marry me before Finn killed her.”

“I’m sorry. How are you so good at fighting,” she asked, changing the subject.

I chuckled, “Ah, I don’t know if you remember, but I used to get into a lot of fights while we were in the Sky Box. It turns out that I have a natural affinity for it. Both hand to hand and with weapons. The only one that I can’t use is a bow. Because of the wolf, I have no feeling below my left elbow, so I can’t tell how hard I’m grasping something in my left hand.”

“Speaking of the wolf,” she asked hesitantly, “Lincoln made it seem like a big deal.”

I looked at her curiously and asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she said, looking down and then up at me through her lashes as she played with the strap that held her sword across her back, “He told us that this wolf was able to avoid all sorts of traps and the hunters and even got in and out of locked buildings.”

I chuckled, “I don’t know about the buildings, but from what I was told, it was doing a good job of avoiding the hunters and traps.”

“But you were able to take it down. How?”

I shrugged, “A makeshift axe that I’d taken with me that day. Honestly, I just didn’t give up.”

“So, no big heroic story?”

That made me laugh louder and I shook my head, “No. Nothing like that.”

She nodded and gave me a shy smile, “That’s okay. I guess not everything has to be like the stories Bellamy used to tell me.”

Curiously, I asked, “Stories?”

She blushed, “Um, yeah. He used to read me Greek and Roman myths. All these stories about what the gods and demi-gods did.”

“Ah,” I said in understanding and shuddered at how close it was to the truth.

We lapsed into silence and just as it was about to become uncomfortable a clamor from outside drew our attention. We scrambled out of the tent and I could see a rider at the gate trying to gain entrance. I ran over to the gate quickly and he visibly relaxed, seeing me.

“ _Pakripa_ ,” he panted. “The Commander and Clarke have disappeared into the forest. Scouts have reported hearing _pauna_ and fear the worst. You must return immediately.”

I nodded and turned to Octavia, “Go and get Abby, Octavia. Make sure that she has something to wear against this weather and tell her to bring an emergency medical bag.”

She nodded and took off. I turned back to the rider, “ _Come inside the gates. You can relay your message to Indra when they return from the hunt. Let her know that I’m heading back with their healer and will relay any word once I know something_.”

He nodded and dismounted. We quickly walked back to our camp and I ducked inside my tent and grabbed my things. I paused long enough to strap my weapons back on and walked quickly to Arthos as I swung my cloak around my shoulders. I saddled Arthos and waited impatiently for Abby to emerge from inside the Station. Without a word, I took her bag and tied it tightly to the saddle. When I was done, I mounted and holding out a hand, pulled her up behind me. She let out a yelp and her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I adjusted the cloak and then with a word of warning, spurred Arthos into a gallop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick chapter because I wanted a moment between Octavia and Rook.


	28. Chapter 28

A feeling of dread settled in the pit of my stomach as we rode. The closer we got, the worse it felt as the sun began setting and the shadows grew longer. To say that I was worried was an understatement. According to the rider who had sent for me, they had disappeared shortly after an early afternoon break from the war meeting. They also weren’t the only ones missing. No one had seen a general by the name of Quint or the _Skaikru_ guard who had been assigned to protect Clarke. I couldn’t imagine what could happen if something were to happen to Lexa. Not just what would happen to the Coalition or this war, but I wasn’t sure that I could handle losing another person I had come to care greatly about. 

We were nearing Tondc when pain erupted across my body. I couldn’t help the scream that escaped my lips when it felt like something was ripping my left shoulder apart. Before the scream died, sharp stabbing pain blazed across my torso and I felt my gorge rise.

I threw the reins down, ground tying Arthos, and fell to the ground barely keeping my feet. I made it two steps before I lost the little bit of control I had and proceeded to vomit violently. The entire time, the pain never lessened and seemed to drive my body to expel everything I hadn’t digested.

Between flashes of pain, my mind tried to comprehend what was happening to me, but I couldn’t rationally come up with an explanation. At the same time, Lexa was in the forefront of my thoughts. It was then, as soon as my focus turned to her, that I knew. I knew the pain came from her but it seemed that it was more than her. 

As my heaves lessened and I could bring in fresh air, I leaned back on my knees and turned my focus fully onto what I was feeling. In the background, I could hear Abby trying to draw my attention, but in the moment, I couldn’t spare her a thought. Now, that my mind had caught up to my body, the pain became dull and throbbing much like I’d expect during bad weather. I could feel my bond with Lexa which meant that she was close. I felt fear, pain, acceptance, and…giddiness? That didn’t make sense, but the giddiness felt foreign. And even more strangely, it seemed to come from myself, but not myself.

I wanted to question it further, but I reminded myself that there was something much more important. Refocusing again on the bond, I felt a pull. It was as if Lexa and I were connected with a rope and she was tugging on it incessantly to let me know where she was. The pull was leading me deeper into the forest and away from Tondc. I somehow knew that if I followed it, I would find her and maybe Clarke, too. Except that I couldn’t. Not right at that moment. I needed to get Abby to Nyko so that they could prepare in case they were injured.

As soon as I made that decision, the pain built again making me groan and drop my head. Breathing through it, I ignored what I wanted to do, what my instincts were demanding me to do, and turned my attention to what I needed to do. I needed to get Abby to Tondc and _then_ I could search for them. That seemed to bring me some peace and I felt like I could finally stand.

Heaving myself up on unsteady feet, I walked back over to Arthos and grabbed the water skin off my saddle. I ignored Abby as I cleaned my mouth and guzzled the rest down. I tied it back up and looked up at Abby. She was looking at me wide-eyed in fear.

As calmly as I could, “I’m alright, Dr. Griffin. I’m sorry for frightening you. If you could scoot closer to the saddle horn, I can get up behind you.”

“What the hell just happened? Were you attacked,” she demanded as she moved forward.

I gathered the reins and held them up to her. She took them loosely in her hands and watched me carefully. With a grunt, I mounted behind her and reaching around, took the reins from her.

Once we started moving again, I answered, “I must have overdone it in the training pits.” Big lie. “Arthos probably stepped on something and it jostled my chest. I’ll be fine, Dr. Griffin.”

I kicked Arthos lightly and he picked up his pace until we were just a little slower than a gallop. It kept Abby from saying anything besides a squeal as she leaned more heavily into me. I moved my left arm to hold her more securely against me and ignored the pain that was coming in waves.

The further we rode away from that spot, the giddiness seemed to turn to desperation and I was becoming agitated as we continued. By the time the lit torches let us know we were nearing the gate to Tondc, I was practically vibrating with the need to head into the forest.

I only slowed down enough so that we wouldn’t crash into the gates and only stopped when we were outside Nyko’s. I hopped down from Arthos and reaching up, helped Abby down. She let out a groan and held onto me until she could stand on her own. As soon as she let go, I unhooked our bags from the saddle and handed Arthos off to one of the guards who had followed. With a nod of thanks, I led Abby inside.

Nyko looked up in surprise, “Rook, the rider found you?”

I nodded, ignoring the look of surprise on Abby’s face. I guess, she hadn’t gotten the memo of who I really was.

“ _Sha, any news_ ,” I asked as I laid the bags on the table.

Answering in _Gonasleng_ , “Before the search party called it for the night, they found the remains of the _Skaikru_ guard and possibly Quint.”

“Why are they still not searching,” I snapped in anger.

“They did not want to chance running into pauna, Rook,” he replied calmly. “It was still roaring as night came.”

I paced the open space, “That is unacceptable, Nyko.” I stopped and turned to him, fire in my eyes and the need to leave building to a crescendo. “I’ll head out myself and look for them. I need a bag with medical supplies. Bandages, alcohol, water, something for pain, and anything else I can do in the field.”

“Is that wise? You should wait until morning when the others can join you,” he entreated.

I shook my head vehemently, “ _I cannot, Naikou. There is this great need to find them. Find her! I will not be able to rest until I do_.”

He stepped closer and dropped his voice, “ _Is this_ …”

“ _Sha. I know I have much to explain, but I am connected to Leksa. I am in pain with her pain and…something else. I cannot explain it. So, beja, get me a bag ready. I will leave a trail for the searchers to find us in the morning. Just hurry_!”

“ _Alright. Alright, little one_ ,” he placated hearing the desperation in my voice, and moved to gather what I would need.

I started pacing again to try and relieve the tension and agitation that was thrumming through my body. It only took a few moments, but it felt like a lifetime to me before it was ready.

Abby came up to me holding something folded, “I didn’t understand what you were saying, but you’re going to look for them tonight?”

“I am,” I nodded.

“Take these,” she said, holding what was in her hand out. “They’re cloth stretchers. You just need to cut poles to fit the length. They also act like thermal blankets. It’ll keep them warm until you can bring them back to us.”

I took them, “ _Mochof_ , Dr. Griffin. I’ll bring them back. I’ll bring Clarke back. I swear.”

She gave me a small smile, “I know you will, Rook. We need to talk when you get back.”

I nodded and stuffed the cloths into the bag Nyko handed over. With a last look, I was out the door and grabbed a torch at the gate. I let the watch know which direction I was heading and that I would leave a trail for the searchers. Once I knew that they would obey me, I took off at a jog and let the bond pull me towards Lexa. All the while, the desperation eased and the strange giddiness began taking over once more.

Whatever I was heading towards, a part of me was looking forward to whatever I was going to find. The rest of me wasn’t so sure that I wanted to know what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo...


	29. Chapter 29

The deeper and further into the forest I went, the less rational my mind became. It became a concerted effort to pause long enough to leave my sigil for the searchers to follow my trail. I was sweating and breathing heavy as I waged an internal battle to keep from ignoring caution and running full tilt towards Lexa. I wanted to believe that I finally knew what a fish felt after being caught on a line. Struggling against an ever-tightening line while being reeled in by something much stronger than me.

It was scary to experience. My mind and soul seemed to be battling for control of my body against something that was frighteningly foreign and familiar at the same time. The closer I got, it grew more powerful and I clung to my sanity with metaphorical teeth and claws. Whatever it was felt primal and ancient.

My inner battle distracted me from my surroundings and I tripped, reminiscent of the day I met the _Bounstoka_ , and I crashed into a tree. Trembling and trying to catch my breath, I paused long enough to look around me. The moon was high but it was far from being full and the only bright illumination came from the torch that I held aloft. I blinked a few times to clear the sweat and I began to notice something strange. Beyond the range of my torch, the forest, which should have been in deep shadows and barely discernible, took on an otherworldly quality. Like the glowing copse near the dropship, the trees, bushes, rocks, plants seemed to glow from within. The effect was nowhere near as bright as that copse but it was enough that I could easily distinguish what was around me.

My breathing hitched in my chest and I felt my jaw slack in awe as I stared. I had never experienced this before in the time since I landed and I was left trying to grasp anything that could explain it but I was coming up empty. Then I felt a hard tug and my body lurched unbiddenly as if whatever was now controlling my body was saying that my break was over. I sighed heavily and before I pushed off the tree to move again, I carved my sigil in it and then I was off at a jog.

Moving became easier with this new sight. My pace quickened and that foreignness…that foreign entity seemed happier with my decision. Its happiness seemed to free more of my rational side and lessened my fear slightly. My thoughts refused to focus on anything other than getting to Lexa so, trying to figure out what was happening to me on such a deep level was shoved into the back of my mind. Figuring that out I let out a low growl in annoyance and my head jerked forward like I’d been slapped in the back of the head.

I came to an abrupt halt and whipped around in surprise. Holding the torch higher, I peered into the gloom but couldn’t find any signs of what could have hit me. Turning in a slow circle, I saw nothing out of place and nothing strange reached my ears. Shaking the incident off, I started off again, the bond getting stronger along with the foreign entity inside of me.

Instincts told me that I was getting near to my destination. My heartrate picked up with inexplicable excitement and simultaneously dread began to fill me. I instinctively took a deeper inhale and the smell of old blood wafted across the breeze. I let my breath out slowly and inhaled again, my body now tuned into the scent. With the scent, or rather scents as in plural, blood was the predominant one. Second, came the scent of wet fur and I wrinkled my noise in distaste. Underneath those came four very distinct scents, almost as if I was scenting four different people. No, that wasn’t the right term. Four creatures, not people. Well, maybe two of them were human. Only one of them seemed familiar. One I had apparently imprinted on my mind. Lexa.

With recognition came reenergization. I picked up my pace even more until I burst through a bit of foliage and came upon a scene that froze me in my place. Flashes of memory erupted through my mind causing me to whine in pain. For a moment, a split second in time, it was daylight again and I was back on the ridge overlooking the village. Echoes of gunshots rang through my ears making me wince and flinch in memory. Tears sprung to my eyes and an ache built in my chest as I was witness once more to the carnage Finn had inflicted on my people. Artigas’ body falling in slow motion followed by a cry and then Ava’s joined his on the ground. Their blood weeping into the dirt, soaking it.

I choked back a sob as the memory fell away and time reasserted itself. Day became night and, in the clearing, lay two hulking bodies, motionless except for fur being disturbed by the breeze that carried the smell of blood and death and _them_.

I took a shuddering breath and let it out slowly, steeling myself for what I assumed would be an inevitable discovery. Looking between the two figures, I noticed the dark leathers and boots of Lexa and the pale color of the jeans Clarke had last been wearing. I had found them but it wasn’t the _pauna_ that had laid them low.

Stepping closer, a feeling of Otherness seemed to permeate the air, enveloping us in a bubble of thick tension. The bodies that covered Lexa and Clarke were that of two wolves. Dark in coat, large in body. These were no ordinary wolves. Their sheer size made the women seem small in comparison. They were the size of the _Bounstoka_.

My body trembled in a mixture of fear and excitement. The foreign entity that had been pushing me along as my bond with Lexa pulled me was ecstatic and relieved. Foreign thoughts ran through my mind. Ones that I knew did not come from Lexa. Elation because I, it, she, had been found. A nearly overwhelming feeling of Love seeing the bodies of the wolves.

In shock, I split my gaze between the two and knowledge that I did not possess came to the forefront of my mind. These just weren’t _Daistokas_. No, these were the _Bounstoka’s_ mates.

“Fuck me,” I whispered into the night air. “As if shit weren’t weird enough.”

A small moan broke through before I lost myself in realizations and I quickly strode over to the sound. Kneeling, I stabbed the torch near the heads of the wolf and Lexa. She was moving her head back and forth weakly and without thought, I reached out to gently cup her face. Her eyes snapped open at my touch and our gazes locked with a gasp.

I couldn’t tear my gaze away nor my hand from her. There was a powerful sense of recognition and homecoming as I drowned in her green depths. My breathing quickened and in my peripheral I noticed hers did too. We spent a lifetime not moving, but at the same time it was only a matter of seconds.

“You’re here,” she said. Her words barely above a whisper and honestly, barely above what a human could hear.

I swallowed thickly and could only nod. It was then that I felt it. The pain that I had felt before. My shoulder was on fire and my chest burned. I whimpered and my eyes closed as I breathed through the pain. When it passed, my head lay against Lexa’s and I could feel her breath against my lips. I opened my eyes to find something new. Mixed with the green of her irises was the color grey, but in such close proximity it looked more silver and seemed slightly reflective.

“Rook,” she breathed out.

“I’m here, Lex,” I said against her lips before I sat back up.

I took a second to look over at the other shape before I turned my attention back to her. The wolf was laying partially on her. Its head tilted strangely and I could see that its jaw was clamped around her left shoulder. Her leathers showed signs of claw marks, some of it torn but most of it still intact. It looked like she had come out of the fight relatively whole, but her right arm was buried beneath the wolf and the light wasn’t good enough to make out anything else.

I smiled gently down at her and stroked her face softly, “You’re going to be okay, Lexa. At least, I think so. Just try not to move too much right now. The jaw looks like it’s frozen and will hurt you more if you try to move.”

“Clarke,” she asked weakly.

I looked back over at the other wolf and shrugged, “I don’t know yet. You were the first one I came to.”

“Check, _beja_ ,” she pleaded with her eyes.

“Of course,” I said and with a grunt, I was on my feet and pulling the torch out of the ground.

I made my way over and the first thing I noticed as the light from the torch illuminated the wolf was that the color of its coat was the same shade of chestnut brown as Lexa’s own hair. It gave me pause and I turned my head to look back over at her. Her head was turned towards us and the silvery grey that now resided in her eyes seemed to flash as she watched intently. I could see the worry from across the clearing and the pain that she tried to mask.

Turning back, I did the same thing. Kneeling on the opposite side of the wolf, I reached out and checked for a pulse. My body slumped in relief as I felt it beat slowly and my hand traveled until I cupped Clarke’s face. She didn’t wake but seemed to lean her head more into my hand and I heard a soft sigh escape her lips. Her eyes roved quickly behind closed eyelids and her face was etched in pain, her mouth frowning.

My eyes traveled down and I winced in sympathy seeing her clothing torn and discolored by blood. Once more the wolf’s jaws was latched onto her left shoulder and its body was practically on top of her, leaving very little exposed to the night air. I knew without a doubt in my mind that it had done that on purpose. It’s weight would act like a natural pressure bandage to keep her from bleeding out while at the same time would keep her body’s temperature from dropping to low as the night became colder. I also knew that she would keep until I could get a fire going and bring more light into the clearing.

Making my assessment, I got up and walked back over to Lexa. Kneeling to make it easier to hear one another.

She looked up at me expectantly and I replied, “She’s alive. The wolf is almost completely on top of her so I can’t really see her injuries, but the weight is what’s keeping her alive right now. I’m going to gather some firewood and get a fire going before I start taking care of you both. I need you to stay as still as you can, Lexa. The more you move, the more damage you’ll do. For now, just rest. You’ll both be okay.”

She reached up weakly and I took her hand gently in mine, bringing it up to place a kiss along her naked fingertips. She closed her eyes at the sensation and a soft smile crossed her lips before she grimaced in pain. I leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips before I got up again.

Leaving the torch by her side, I left the clearing in search of suitable wood. With this new development of my sight, finding enough dry wood was a lot easier and I soon had enough to get a good-size fire going.

As I worked, the foreign entity that had been controlling my body seemed to ease away now that I had found them. Except it now left my mind free to think. Free to examine the situation and I was flummoxed as I came to some crazy conclusion. I _had_ been joking saying that I carried the _Keryon kom Pakstoka_ , but tonight…tonight felt like I hadn’t been joking. That I truly did carry it within me. But not just any wolf, no. No, it was the _Keryon kom Bounstoka_. Which is impossible. Shit like that didn’t exist in real life. It’s not supposed to, except…

Except, I lived in a world that believed in reincarnation. A world where the current Commander of the Blood, the current vessel of the Flame, carried the Spirits of the past Commanders. Heard their voices and gained their guidance. Fuck, I had felt those very same Spirits.

I growled in thought and that reminded me of everything else. I now had gifts, attributes, that I wasn’t born with. I could heal quickly. I displayed extraordinary strength and skill. I could _fucking_ talk and emote with the Commander. With Lexa. In the last couple of days, I was displaying growls, whimpers, whines, rumbles, that truly sounded animalistic in nature.

And now…now, two more wolves like the fucking _Bounstoka_ show up. And not just show up. No, no, they fucking attacked the leader of the Coalition and Skaikru. Why? Why them? Was it because I have feelings for them? Was it a matter of convenience? Was it because they’re leaders and damn good ones? Just…why? And why now?

And…and how is it that I _know_? How do I know that these two are the mates of the _Bounstoka_? Too many fucking questions!

I growled loudly and just like the cup I shattered; I broke a branch in half. I looked at it in surprise and saw that it was about three and a half inches thick. I huffed in annoyance and tossed them into the pile. Getting up, I wiped my hands free of wood bits and strode back to the torch. Grabbing it, I looked over at Lexa and saw that in that moment, she looked so young and in pain. I wanted nothing more than to curl up around her and protect her from the world, but I couldn’t and shouldn’t.

Snapping myself out of that feeling, I lit the fire and snuffed out the torch. I had so many questions running through my head that I felt like I was mired in a bog and weighed down by the implications of what this could all mean. The only downside was that I didn’t even know what it all meant. So, I forced it all down with a snarl and waited until the fire was high and the clearing more clearly lit up before I removed my pack and began getting everything out.

Once I was done, I went back to Lexa and gently woke her up. Smiling as I saw those beautiful green orbs focus on me, “Lex, you still with me?”

Her mouth opened a closed as she tried to form words and her tongue peaked out to wet her lips before she finally responded, “Yes.”

“ _Os_ ,” I nodded. “Let me tell you what I’m going to do, okay. You’ve been here for hours with the weight of the wolves on you. Dead wolves, I might add unnecessarily.” I paused and gave her a wry smile which she returned with a quick upturn of her lips. “That means that their bodies have become frozen and makes them harder to move. The wolf’s jaw is clamped tightly on your shoulder and to get the best angle, I’m going to have to move the body so that it’s in line with yours. With me so far?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“It’s probably going to hurt because the weight has been keeping pressure on any injuries that you’ve got underneath it. Any open wounds will start bleeding again. Next, I’m going to have to break its jaw which means that I have to push down on your upper body and the teeth will dig deeper into your shoulder blade. Lots of pain there, but I’ll be as quick and gentle as I can. I’ve got a piece of wood wrapped in leather for you to bite on,” I explained and lifted the piece up to show her. “Do you want it now or when I remove the jaw?”

“Jaw,” she answered softly and I saw that she was about to shift, but I laid a hand on her to keep from moving.

“Alright,” I told her. “I know you want to move now that you’re awake, but you need to keep as still as you can, Lexa. We’re trying to minimize the hurt not exacerbate it.”

“Big words,” she huffed.

I smiled and moved around her, “Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry. I’m a bit of an intellect.” I continued to talk to her as I thought of the best way to move the wolf. “I think working around Raven jump started that part of my brain again. I think that’s one of the reason why my parents didn’t like me. I’m smarter than they were.” I paused and squatted down to work my arms between them. “The vast majority of the people on the Ark are descended from some of the brightest minds at the time the world ended. They had to be to get spots on the space stations. Of course, there were those who had average and above average intelligence on board too, but they were very good at what they did.” I grunted and strained under the weight of the wolf as I began to maneuver it away from Lexa while still talking. “What no one is aware of and honestly, I’m not sure where I learned this, but, when the stations decided to join and form the Ark, one of the ongoing experiments was DNA manipulation. Forced microevolutions that would make their descendants heartier to counteract any changes that may have occurred on Earth.” I laid the wolf down, breathing heavy as I examined her now fully exposed body. “So, your armor and leathers took most of the damage, Lexa. You’ve got a nice furrow of three claw marks going from just under your left ribs to your right hip. Tore right through your jacket and shirt. There’s some rips along your right sleeve, but your legs look good. How does your chest feel? Does it hurt to breathe?”

I watched carefully as she tried to take a deep breath but it was cut short and she whispered, “ _Sha, it hurts_.”

“Okay, I’ll take a look after I get the jaw off,” I said looking at her in the eyes. “Ready for the mouthpiece?”

She nodded and I placed it gently against her mouth. She opened it wide and took it, moving it around until it was comfortable. I raised an eyebrow in inquiry and she nodded. I leaned over and gave her a kiss on her forehead, above the gear and then got up until I was straddling the wolf. I pulled on a leather glove for my right hand before I leaned over and got into place.

I looked down at her and I was awestruck by the openness of her gaze. The complete trust that she showed me. I took a deep breath and letting it out slowly, tensed to pry the jaw open, “On three. _Won, tu, **THRI**_!” 

She couldn’t help the scream that ripped through and around the piece of wood she had clamped in her mouth. It died to a whimper as I removed the wolf from her shoulder. I quickly laid down beside her and carefully pulled her to me. The piece of wood fell from her loose lips as she buried her head into the crook of my neck and sobbed from the pain. I soothed her as best as I could without moving her too much and didn’t move again until I felt her relax slightly.

“You did so well, Lex. So well,” I murmured into her hair. “I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry that I have to do this, but I need to check your ribs and shoulder, okay?”

She nodded against me and I moved until I was kneeling beside her once again. I opened her coat further and felt around as gently as I could. It felt like she had several broken ribs across the entire ribcage and her shoulder felt intact, maybe fractured. When I was done, I told her and she nodded.

Now that the hardest part was done, I gently picked her up and moved her closer to the fire. Before I settled her, I removed her jacket and cut away her shirt so that I could clean her wounds. Once I was done with that, I gave her something to fight off infection and to help with the pain. I spoke to her lowly until her breathing evened out and the pain eased from her face. I had laid her on one of the cloth stretchers.

The cloth stretchers were something I hadn’t seen before. They were more like sleeping bags but without the stuffing. The material was similar to heat shielding and there were flaps on either side. Pulling the flaps towards the middle, I discovered a zipper. Zipping it up would not only keep her from losing body heat, but it would also minimize how much she would move.

Doing that, I also laid my cloak over her for added insulation and then I moved on to Clarke. She still hadn’t gained consciousness in the time I worked on Lexa, but that worked in my favor. Having already figured out how to move the wolf from Lexa, I did the same with Clarke’s. I watched over her carefully as I moved the wolf and I was struck by how much damage it had done to her once it was gone.

Her clothes had been made of sturdier stuff than what I had worn and had added a little bit more protection, but her torso was covered in deep scratches. Her arms too. Her left leg had a few gouges. Ribs were broken and it felt like her shoulder may be more than cracked. Once the wolf was off her completely, I moved her closer to the fire. Because of her injuries, I had to cut away all her clothing leaving her in her undergarments. I stole my cloak from Lexa and laid it over Clarke, covering her as much as I could as I worked on her. It was slower and messier, but I eventually had her as patched up as I could with the limited supplies that I had. I forced the concoction of herbs down her throat and settled her close to Lexa. Shoulder to shoulder, my cloak ended up big enough to cover the both of them.

Finally, I was done and I could relax. I sat close to them and fed the fire as I turned my thoughts to everything that happened. I needed to figure out as much as I could because I knew that once they awoke, they would have questions. If what I had felt was accurate, it meant that these wolves were like the _Bounstoka_. And if these wolves were like her, then there was a really good, high percentage, chance that Lexa and Clarke would develop the same gifts that I had. It also meant that the three of us were now connected in a way that was only heard of in fiction.

I just wish I knew what it all meant. I wanted to know why I felt like I was finally home when I locked gazes with Lexa. If I would feel the same when I looked into Clarke’s eyes? And there was a small part of me. A part that I didn’t want to voice. That hoped that maybe, just maybe, our connection would be the same as the wolves.

The _Bounstoka_ within me stirred at my thoughts and for the first time since Ava, I didn’t hear the voices of my parents echoing in my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!!! Update.
> 
> So, I hope y'all liked this and didn't make this too predictable for you. This was always going to be what happened but I've played with several scenarios when the three of them have a conversation about the whole thing. So, I'm a little unsure which way I want to go but when I'm happy, I post the next chapter.
> 
> Until next time...


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, finally! I finally got over the stalemate on how I wanted to write this chapter. I blame my son. Not really. He had a spurt of inspiration and had been writing poetry left and right so, I accused him of stealing my muse. Then he got sick the day before his 17th birthday and inspiration came back to me. Coincidence, I think not, j/k.
> 
> So, I hope you'll like where I'm going with this because it gets a little bit twistier (is that even a word) in the next chapter.

As the night trudged on and I continued to feed the fire, I thought about what had happened. I knew that in no uncertain terms both Clarke and Lexa were now like me. The question that plagued me was what were we? Based on my own experiences, I knew we were enhanced but we were more than that. Until tonight, I had thought that the _Bounstoka_ had only passed on the strength, healing, and telepathy. That theory had blown up in my face when I felt the wolf’s emotions and knowledge fill my mind. I couldn’t deny the fact that I had lost control of my own movements. I had been pushed in this direction as much as my bond with Lexa had pulled me. I had felt something hit me in the back of the head that wasn’t there. Throw in the newly heightened senses and animalistic noises, I could only come to one conclusion. My spirit, soul, or whatever you wanted to call it, shared my body with the spirit, soul, of the _Bounstoka_.

So, why wasn’t I freaking the fuck out about this? Because I wasn’t when I obviously should. I sighed and threw a stick into the fire, watched as the flame flared before dying back down again. Trying to figure out what everything meant was making my brain hurt and I rubbed my face tiredly as the day finally crept up on me. Exhaustion hit and I wanted to do nothing more than curl around Lexa until slumber claimed me, but I couldn’t. Even though the night sounds had been normal, the occasional roar of what I could only assume to be the _pauna_ would echo through the trees. Silencing the world for a moment before it started back up again. I needed to maintain my vigilance and make sure that nothing more would haunt this night.

A soft moan took my attention away from the flames and I saw Lexa beginning to move about again. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Her wounds were nowhere near as bad as Clarke’s and I hadn’t given her as large a dose of the tea because of it. I got up slowly, my legs protesting and walked the few feet over to them before I sat beside Lexa. I reached out and gently swept away the errant hairs that had escaped her braids and fluttered around her face.

As soon as my hand touched the coolness of her cheek, her eyes flew open in a panic. Her breathing became slightly erratic as she began to flail weakly within the confines of the stretcher.

“Hey,” I cooed. “It’s alright, Lexa. It’s alright. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

“Rook,” her eyes glanced over me before they became more focused and I watched as her brow furrowed in pain.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Where,” she tried to formulate a coherent thought, but I could see by her face that it was fleeting as if she had trouble holding onto something.

“We’re still in the forest outside Tondc,” I told her gently. “In the clearing where you faced the _Daistokas_. Do you remember fighting the wolves?”

“ _Sha_. I remember. They were so big and terrifying.”

“ _Sha_. They _were_ terrifying, Lexa. Both you and Clarke were able to kill them,” I told her smiling gently as I continued to stroke her face.

“ _Klark_ , where is—”

“She’s just on the other side of you,” I pointed and watched as she turned to look and her body relaxed minutely. “She hasn’t woken, but she seems to be okay. We’ll find out more when we get you back to Nyko and Abby.”

“ _Abi_ ,” she asked, looking back at me in confusion.

I nodded, “I brought her with me when the rider came to get me. I figured that her medical expertise may be needed, plus she’s Clarke’s mom.”

“ _Os_. How did you find us,” she asked quietly as she shifted slightly and grimaced. “And why can I not move?”

I chuckled slightly, but I sobered up quickly as the memories resurfaced, “You cannot move because you are in a stretcher. It is made to close around the person and keep them from moving too much. Prevent more injury. As to how I found you, it’s a little complicated.”

“Explain,” she asked in her _Heda_ voice.

I shook my head, smiling hearing the command. Even injured and still in pain, she can’t not be _Heda_ when she needed to.

“I will try, but I barely understand it myself. The bond between us pulled me in this direction. I could feel your pain and a strong need to find you. I wouldn’t have been able to rest if I had waited until morning. But there was also a push. Something inside of me was pushing as our bond was pulling. I barely felt in control of my body, but rather a passenger fighting for control. I didn’t understand until I came to the clearing. It was the _Bounstoka’s_ spirit that was pushing me. Taking me over to make sure that I arrived.” I sighed and looked out into the night in an attempt to collect my thoughts before I turned my attention back to her. I saw the look of confusion but I also saw her mind connecting the dots and slowly understanding began to surface. But I carried on, “I won’t get into much more until the three of us can talk, but I strongly believe that the _keryon kom Bounstoka_ now lives within me. That on its death, it not only gave me these gifts, these attributes, but chose me as a vessel to continue on.”

“Like the Flame with the Spirits of the Commanders.”

“ _Sha_. Like that, but it is more than that,” I told her carefully. “I am the wolf and she is me. We aren’t quite one, yet, but soon. I think.”

“You called these wolves _Daistokas_. You believe that they are the same as the _Bounstoka_?”

“I don’t believe it. I _know_ it. These were her mates. Which means that what has happened to me will happen to you,” I told her sternly. “Now, I know that you want to keep asking questions, but we should really wait until Clarke is awake and lucid. It is only fair since she is now a part of whatever this is. And you, Lexa, need to rest and heal. So, beja, try and get some more rest. I promise that we will take more on this later.”

“Alright,” she acquiesced. “I am more tired than I want to admit, but the pain is getting worse.”

I nodded and reached for the kettle that still had the tea. I poured it into a cup before I helped Lexa sit up enough to drink it. She allowed me to help her drink and when she was done, she relaxed against me as much as the pain in her shoulder and ribs would let her. I went to lay her back down, but she whimpered slightly and I knew that she wasn’t ready for me to let go. So, I settled us more comfortably and held her until I felt her breath even out as the medicine took hold of her. I smoothed back her hair and laid a kiss gently on her forehead before I slowly extricated myself. Once she was settled, I checked on Clarke and was glad to feel her pulse stronger even though her breathing was still shallow. I attributed that to the broken ribs and hoped that it wasn’t anything else. 

I stood up and stretched slowly, feeling my joints pop as my muscles strained. I sighed as I felt my body settle and stared up at the sky. Looking to see I noticed any lightening to indicate how soon morning would arrive. It was still a ways off and I huffed in annoyance. I was more than ready to call this day to an end. The bruises from my match with the three fighters twinged making me grimace in pain. I thought about examining the wolves but shook that thought loose since it was still too dark to make out much. Instead, I settled myself by the fire again and relinquished myself to the inevitability of a long wait before the searchers arrived. I was beginning to hate waiting.


	31. Chapter 31

Dawn crept up slowly as the fire died down and moisture covered every surface delicately. I stifled a yawn as I blinked and finally noticed that color was beginning to return to the world. I felt stiff from sitting still for hours, listening to the sounds of the world around me and paying particular attention to the breathing of my companions. I stirred the fire and added the last of the wood in hopes that it would last until the searchers found us. When it was burning happily away at the wood, I stood up and stretched more fully. Joints protesting loudly with cracks and pops.

I snorted in amusement to think that I’ve already injured myself enough times that my body believe that I’m decades older than my less than twenty. I checked on my charges before I decided to move on to the creatures that had turned our world upside down.

They lay exactly where I had left them. The ground around them torn from claws and deeply seated boots, old blood staining several patches where it had pooled. The entire clearing, I noticed, showed signs of battle, including a couple of shell casings from Clarke’s handgun. I walked over to where Lexa had been laying and knelt to examine the wolf more closely. I noted that the fur seemed reminiscent of my own hair coloring, dark brown with streaks of black. I ran my hands through it, feeling it stiff and wet but with an underlying softness. A second lair of fur. Strange because we were just nearing winter and the animals around us just now getting their winter coats. I thought that maybe that meant they had come from the far north, somewhere within the frozen lands of _Azgeda_. 

I continued my examination of the wolf, running my hands over it and shifting it as much as I could. It was only when I found Lexa’s dagger sticking out of its chest that I paused again. Memories of pain across my chest flashed through my mind, eerily reminding me of being stabbed. I sat back on my haunches as I continued to stare at the dagger handle as my mind swirled furiously to connect the two. A frightening thought entered my mind and before I had a chance to object, I was moving to the head of the wolf and looking beyond the glaze of death to search out the color of its eyes. I dropped suddenly on my ass as I stared wide-eyed in shock. The creature had gray eyes.

I shook my head in disbelief and scrambled quickly to my feet and moved hastily over to the other wolf. I dimly recalled that the fur was the same color as Lexa’s hair and I prayed silently that what I found wouldn’t confirm the thoughts that were starting to form in my mind. My prayers went unanswered, for there, beyond the cloudy haze lay a pale shade of green staring back at me unseeingly. I choked back a sob of disbelief and checked to see how Clarke had finally slain the wolf. There, in the depths of its sternum lay the handle of a knife placed exactly where the heart would lay.

I blinked several times to be sure and then I got up, almost woodenly, and went back to where the girls still lay sleeping. I looked back at the wolf once more to make sure and then I found myself kneeling and pulling the cloak down to expose the zipper of the stretcher. I reached out with shaky fingers and pulled it down until it had exposed Lexa’s tanned skin just slightly. I parted it gently, looking at her face to make sure that she didn’t wake. Taking a deep shuddering breath, I closed my eyes and let it out slowly, preparing myself. I opened them and looked down. There, barely discernible lay a thin silver line bisecting her bindings. I leaned down further, narrowing my eyes to examine it more closely. Looking at it more closely, I could just make out what seemed to be a second line, almost vine-like, in pale blue. In all honesty, if you weren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t find it. Nor would you really notice that the lines looked more like tattoos than scars. I opened the stretcher more fully and examined her torso and found three small silver circles with the blue.

I couldn’t think, but when I saw her flesh shiver from the morning cold, I hastily zipped the stretcher and lay the cloak back on her. I looked over at Clarke and the need to examine her body for the wounds that I had inflicted on the _Bounstoka_ was nearly a palpable thing, my fingers twitching in response. But I stopped myself only because it would mean jostling her too much which would cause her undue pain and I didn’t want to do that. Maybe, I could figure out a way to discretely look her over once we’d returned to Nyko’s.

I groaned at the implications and stood up to begin pacing as agitation began sweeping through me. I wanted answers, but the _Bounstoka_ was remaining frustratingly silent now. I felt a growl build in my chest and let it loose past my lips. It was louder than I had anticipated and I heard the flurry of wings and frightened noises scurrying away. I paused at that but then continued on with my pacing. 

Was I a werewolf? Or was I something more? Were we, I corrected myself. During my pass close to Lexa and Clarke, I glanced down at my cloak and now that my eyes were sharper, I saw blonde tufts of fur peeking out of the snow white fur. I shook my head and moved on as I recalled the depth of blue I had stared down in death and how the shade reminded me of Clarke’s.

I stopped abruptly and without a second thought started stripping off my armor and clothes. The light wasn’t quite bright enough, so I moved closer to the fire before looking down at my own chest. I looked down as I recalled where I had felt the stabbing sensation, narrowing my eyes as I searched my own skin and beyond the scars that lay liberally across my own torso. I had been cut crosswise and diagonally when I’d been tied to the tree both times. The scars were still pink tinged in newness and the paleness of my own skin made finding the marks more difficult, but I did find them. Thin silver lines suffused with green vines. The green stood out more starkly against my skin, but I thought it could easily be passed on as veins too close to the surface. Hopefully.

“Well, fuck,” I sighed as I fingered the one along my ribs, knowing inherently that had been the killing strike. 

I stared at the fire for a long moment, my mind suddenly blank and void of thought. I didn’t come back to myself until a gust of wind blew threw the clearing making me shiver. I shook myself like a dog ridding its fur of water and went back to where I’d drop my clothes. I dressed quickly and sighed in relief as the warmth began to seep back into my skin.

I really wish that I had someone to talk to at the moment, but I had no one. I wanted to voice my thoughts aloud but I held my tongue because to voice them would make it all the more real. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to make it even more fantastical than it already was. So, I stayed silent and watched as the sun began to rise in earnest and the sounds of the forest betrayed the waking of the animals that called it home.

I stood as a statue standing guard until the shadows moved to reveal the searchers. I startled before I gathered myself and greeted them. I sent a couple of them to cut down and strip wood to make the poles for the stretchers. I explained to them briefly what I had come upon when I found Lexa and Clarke and they were astonished to see two more giant wolves (as they called them) roaming around their home. They were even more surprised to find out that Clarke had managed to kill one of them. She was fast becoming an exception to the way they viewed _Skaikru_. She was proving to be resourceful and showing strength beyond what they physically saw. I smiled with pride, seeing their looks change to one of respect when they looked upon Clarke and spoke about her. I knew it she had it in her, the strength and the ability to lead. It looked like the world was finally seeing it for itself.

Soon, everything was set up. The poles cut and slid into the stretchers, the wolves prepped for travel, the fire out, and my supplies gathered up. I swung my cloak around my shoulders and with one last look around the clearing, ordered them back to Tondc. One more strange adventure under my belt and I wondered just how much more interesting and stranger my life would become. Only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I told you it was getting twistier.
> 
> Oh, and if you ever notice that I use grey and gray, it's just because even after all this time, I can't decide how to spell it since both are correct.


	32. Chapter 32

They arrived amid cheers that Max quickly silenced with a raised hand and glare. She didn’t want them to startle awake either young woman and cause further injury by making the carriers lose control of the stretchers. She nodded for the carriers to continue to Nyko’s as she looked for one of the messengers. Once she found one, she tugged them along behind her as she went in search of something to write with. Writing out a message, she handed it to the young man with orders to deliver the news to Indra and pass the written note to Raven. If they were going to be delayed getting back to Camp Jaha, she wanted a radio to maintain contact. She was sure that Clarke and even Lexa would appreciate it. He saluted her before taking off.

She scrubbed her face with her hand trying to rid herself of her tiredness as she made her way to Nyko’s. Pausing outside the door to gather herself once more before entering, she sighed deeply and went in. Abby and Nyko looked up at the sound of the door and she nodded a greeting to them both.

“Where do you need me, Nyko,” she asked as she came to stand beside him as he worked on Lexa.

He jutted his beard towards an empty cot, “There. You need rest, little wolf. You’re swaying on your feet.”

She growled low and shook her head, “I’m fine, Nyko. Now, tell me how I can help you.”

He paused in his ministrations to look her squarely in the eyes, face stern and unyielding, “Rest. Gather your strength, Rook. We are just cleaning them up and reapplying poultices and bandages. You did well.”

“Yes, you did a nice job on these stitches,” Abby spoke up and looking at her.

“ _Mochof_ , Dr. Griffin,” she replied, ducking her head in embarrassment. “I had a great teacher.”

“A teacher is only as good as their student,” Nyko interjected. “Now, _beja_ , go and sleep, Rook. Unless you want me to force a sleeping tonic on you.”

Rook looked at him wide-eyed in fear as she remembered that particular tonic tasted like ass, “No! No, I’m going. I’m going. You’ll wake me up…”

He nodded and shooed her toward the cot, “ _Sha_ , I’ll wake you if anything changes.”

She nodded and headed over to the cot, taking her time to rid herself of her outer layers until she was in just her chest bindings and pants. She heard a slight gasp and turned to see Abby staring at her back.

She gave a wry grin, “Clarke and the Commander got off light compared to me, Dr. Griffin. But if I can come back after my fight with the White Wolf, so can they. They will be fine. You’ll see.”

“Of course,” she replied, nodding a little numbly before she turned back to Clarke.

Nyko and Rook shared a look and then he pointed to the cot. She gave him a small smile and immediately crawled underneath the furs. She was out before she even settled completely. Soon her slow breathing mingled with the others as Nyko and Abby returned to making the girls comfortable.

After a while, Abby felt brave enough to ask, “You taught her how to heal?”

“ _Sha_. Yes,” he replied, looking over at her and noted the look of surprise on her face. “You are surprised.”

Abby startled and cleared her throat to ease her embarrassment, “I am. With her reputation on the Ark, I would have never thought of her as a doctor.”

“And what,” he asked, turning to face her and crossing his arms across his chest to stare at her intently, “is it that you did think of her.”

She paused, worried about voicing her thoughts but decided to be honest, “Dangerous. I saw many situation reports and medical reports with her name on them. She was involved in many fights during her time in Lockup. If we had waited a little longer on launching the dropship, she would have been floated and I would have felt safer with her gone.”

“Then you would have wasted a very bright mind. Do you even know her story? Or any of the children you sent to die?”

“We didn’t send them to die,” she defended. “We sent them to see if the ground was survivable.”

He scoffed derisively, “Rook told me what your so-called leader said. He called them expendable. So, yes, you did send them here to die. You sent no supplies and gave them no skills. All just to give you and your Council more air to breathe. But you did not answer my question. Do you know her story?”

Abby shook her head, “No, I don’t.”

“Then do not pass judgement on someone you do not know,” he said and then brightened when an idea crossed his mind. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”

“Clarke—” she pointed out.

“They will be fine for the moment. They just need to rest and heal,” he said and moved towards the door. “Come.”

She could tell that he was not one to take no as an answer and followed him after she tucked the fur closer around Clarke. She stopped upon living the hut, blinking rapidly as she was exposed to the brightness of the day. Upon being able to see again, she noticed that Nyko had already moved off and hurried up to catch up to him.

He seemed to be looking for someone or something in particular with his head moving to and fro. When he spotted someone, he brightened and his pace picked up. Abby found it hard to keep up with him and found herself jogging to keep him in sight.

She looked around him and saw that he was making his way to a small group of children. Seeing the children brought a small smile to her lips and her mind briefly fell back to when Clarke was that age. She caught up to him just as he was kneeling to address one of the children. She watched as the child’s eyes brightened excitedly and took off. Nyko stood back up and glanced at Abby with a small mischievous look on his face, though it was hard to tell with his beard.

The child came back quickly and Abby could see they had something metal in their hands. The child held the object up to Nyko but he shook his head.

“ _Why don’t you show us how this works, strikon_ ,” Nyko told the child in their language.

The child grinned, nodding eagerly and began winding a piece of string around the base. When they were done, they pulled the string quickly and Abby watched in amazement as the top spun quickly and then shot up to the sky, still spinning before it reached its zenith and came back lazily to the ground. The other children laughed and clapped as one went after the object. Bringing it back, they held it out to the first child who took it with a nod of thanks.

“ _Thank you for showing us your toy. Do you mind if we take a closer look_ ,” Nyko asked.

The child nodded and handed it over. Nyko took it carefully in his hands and turned to show Abby. She examined it and saw that it was made out of scraps of metal and fabric. She was amazed by the ingenuity of the craftsmanship and wondered how these people could even understand the concept.

“How,” she asked, looking up at Nyko.

“Rook,” he explained. “It was part of her physical therapy to work on her dexterity in her hands. She wanted to make something fun and built this. Rook may be a gifted warrior and know how to heal, but she showed so much joy when she was designing and building this toy.”

He handed the toy back to the boy and motioned for them to head back to his hut as he continued to speak, “She has built things like that since she’s been here, both practical and fun. At the same time, she has kept up with her training in the fighting pit and with me. Not to mention, the many times that she has been hunting. She is an asset to this village. In your hubris, you would have wasted that.”

They walked into the hut in silence as Abby thought about what he had said. She looked down at her daughter, thinking how lucky she was that she was still alive. How close she had been to losing her. The potential that would have gone away if they had waited a month or if Jaha had decided to overrule the law as he had threatened. She stroked her head with a mother’s gentle touch as she turned her thoughts to the other children. How most of them were locked up for minor infractions and how many of those would have been floated when they turned eighteen.

Maybe they did have it wrong on the Ark, but it didn’t mean that they couldn’t change. That it wasn’t too late to make amends.

“They’re just children,” she spoke out but quietly.

“No, they are not. Being a child means that you cannot take care of yourself. Protect yourself. Fend for yourself. They have shown that they are more than capable. More capable then the ones you consider their betters. They figured out how to survive without supplies. They have fought and died to survive. They brought peace between our people. So, no, they are far from children.”

“But they shouldn’t have had to.”

“This is a harsh and violent world we live in,” he told her gently, relenting enough to see that she was struggling. “Our people do not often live long. Sickness, violence, starvation, weather. They can all end in death here. So, we teach them from an early age how to survive and hope they live long enough to pass it on. You would be wise to learn this and pass it on to your own people, _Abi kom Skaikru_. If you do not, your people will not last except for those who adapt. You cannot continue to live the way you did.”

Abby nodded sadly, “You may be right.”

“People like Rook and Clarke are your future. Start by listening to them,” he said with finality.

He turned away from her and began cleaning up, noting which medicines would need to be restocked and which plants he needed to search for. He listened as a chair scraped and sound of a body thumping heavily in the chair. He sighed and hoped that he had helped in some way to change the way she thought about the children they had abandoned. He looked over at Rook’s sleeping form and a smile made its way across his face, reaching up to his eyes. Rook had wormed her way into his heart and into the heart of the village. She was special, more than the gifts that the _Bounstoka_ had granted her.

He just hoped that her tendency to sacrifice herself wouldn’t end in her death.


	33. Chapter 33

In desperate measures I felt myself claw to the surface of wakefulness. A chance to breathe deep came to a stuttering halt as pain lanced through my chest, a loud groan escaped unsolicited from my throat and past grimacing lips. A startled grunt and muffled curse reached my ears as I breathed shallowly through my nose to ride out the pain. Then the sound of furs being moved and the thumping sound of bare feet moved closer to me. I cracked my eyes open slowly to reveal a blurry dimness above me. I blinked rapidly as my eyes teared, cleaning the vestiges of slumber, and the wooden beams of a hut came into focus.

The sound of a chair scraping and a sigh made me turn my head and my vision was filled with a smiling Rook, but a Rook who still showed signs of worry in her eyes. I smiled seeing her and held back a chuckle as I took in her disheveled appearance. Some of her braids were coming undone, the hair escaping in all manner giving her a wild look. Her face still bore the effects of little sleep, smudges appearing beneath her eyes and muscles slightly tense in an effort to combat how tired she still must be.

“ _Hei_ ,” she spoke quietly and reached up tentatively as if to stroke my face. 

I reached up tiredly and took her hand to lay against my face and watched as she relaxed even more so. When I felt her hand touch me, I felt as if a flame had been ignited and flared to settle as if I was sitting in front of a hearth with a fire warming my entire being. I felt comfort and peace. She felt like I was almost home, but something was still missing.

I looked at her in confusion, “Do you feel that,” in a voice barely above a whisper and cracking from dryness. 

Her smile widened and she nodded, “Home, but not quite. We have always been comfortable, at ease, with one another. This…this is something more. Deeper. Fuller. Grief connected us at first, gave us our bond. Allowed us to care for one another.” Her smile faltered and became more serious as I watched her swallow thickly.

I squeezed the hand I still held reassuringly and she smiled tremulously, her lips wavering slightly as she took a deep and slow breath. I watched as her eyes glistened wetly with unshed tears and she sniffed suddenly.

“Tell me,” I implored gently.

She glanced to the ceiling and her breath shuttered in her chest before she turned to look at me with something new in her eyes. It took me long moments to recognize it because it had been so long since someone had looked at me the same. Not since Costia. As I realized it, I gasped in awe. I felt the warmth spread with the feeling of righteousness and knew that I felt the same.

“I know it’s too soon, but we have a shared attraction physically. In such a short time, I have come to care for you. The way I felt last night, some of it came from the _Bounstoka_ and her feelings for her mates, but it also came from me. I was worried and scared. When I came to the clearing, I saw Ava’s and Artigas’ last moments again…and I thought the worst. It nearly broke me and I could hear my parents’ voices begin, but they were cut off. Cut off by the _Bounstoka_ and the feeling of our bond. Then when I touched you and your eyes flew open. I lost myself in the feeling of home and being seen. That’s all I ever wanted and I found it in you, Lexa. In you and I think, maybe, in Clarke. Because I felt something there, but I’m unsure,” she rambled. “I…I don’t know if you feel the same way. But’s it’s okay if you don’t! I would never…I would never presume…or, or assume—”

“ _Shof op, Ruk_ ,” I interrupted her.

She opened her mouth to say something but I glared at her until she closed it and gave me a sheepish look. 

I swallowed a few times to wet my throat and lick my lips to wet them in order to speak. She noticed and quickly got up. She returned shortly with a cup in her hand. She looked at me in question and I nodded slightly. Setting the cup down, she helped me sit up until I was resting against her comfortably. It felt good feeling her warmth behind me and I leaned further into her sighing in contentment. It was a surprise to feel a light rumble build in my chest as a result and I gasped in shock which caused it to cease immediately.

I felt her chuckle vibrate through her chest and my back, “Yeah, that’s something we all will have to get used to.”

Before I had a chance to speak, the cup was brought into my field of vision. I took it though I still felt weak and brought it slowly to my lips. I noticed her hand hovering slightly as if to catch it if my grip suddenly released it. I powered through it, stubborn as always, and drained the cup of cool water. 

“Better,” she asked as I relinquished my hold of the cup to her waiting hand.

“Much. What was that thing I did,” refocusing on what we were talking about.

“The equivalent of a purr, I think,” she answered and I could detect the sound of uncertainty in her voice. “I’ve noticed in the last couple of days that I can make more animalistic sounding noises. Growls, whimpers, whines, purrs. I think it’s because the soul of the _Bounstoka_ is merging with my own. We’re becoming one. The same with you and Clarke, but it might be happening faster with you.”

“Why do you think that is,” I asked as I slowly rearranged the furs that had pooled to my lap, exposing my chest in only a binding.

I felt her shrug, “I don’t know. I don’t know if we were chosen specifically or if it was just dumb luck. I’m not even sure that the wolves completely understand it either. But, I’m not sure how to go about searching for that answer.”

“Have you tried meditation,” I asked scooting slightly to look at her.

She gave me a sweet smile, “No. I’ve never learned how to do that.”

I nodded and resettled myself, careful of my ribs and shoulder, “That is how I gain guidance from the Past Commanders. I will teach you. It’ll even help you with keeping your emotions more under control.”

“I do need help with that, I admit,” she said, ruefully. “How are you feeling?”

“I hate how I cannot take a deep breathe because it causes my chest to hurt. Both my shoulders ache and there’s a burning sensation over my stomach,” I answered truthfully.

“Broken ribs will do that. I don’t understand why both your shoulders ache because the wolf only latched on to your left shoulder and I didn’t see any injury to your right. You have stitches closing three claw marks across your stomach,” she explained.

“I hurt my right shoulder and my ankle when we were trying to get away from the _pauna_. I jumped and landed badly.”

I felt my hair shift from my right shoulder and she said, “Well, there’s some bruising but it’s faded nearly completely. You probably won’t feel anything after today. One of the perks we now have. So, care to tell me what happened? How did you end up being chased by a bloodthirsty, man-eating gorilla?”

I sighed and took her hand, entwining our fingers together, “During our war meeting, one of the generals by the name of Quint, kept arguing with Clarke. I couldn’t interfere unless he directly threatened her, but also because I could see his point of view.”

“And that was,” she asked.

“That waiting for this _Belomi_ to lower the defenses is a pointless tactic. Our whole plan relies on him being able to lower the fog. The dam is our best chance. No power means that they cannot use the fog on us.”

“I was able to get into the servers at Alpha Station and saw the plans for Mount Weather. The dam does control the main power, but they have a back-up. A secondary power supply that holds the containment to a central location. I didn’t thoroughly follow it to see if it still enables the Mountain’s defenses, but it might. But we’ll talk about that later. You were telling me about the _pauna_.”

I nodded and continued, “She didn’t like that I sided with Quint and decided to take a walk. Quint followed her because his brother was killed in the ring of fire and he wanted vengeance. I followed when they didn’t come back and stopped him from killing her. Since he attacked her, I gave her the choice to kill him. She hesitated and before we knew it the _pauna_ was coming towards us. We ran and ducked into this tunnel that led to its feeding ground. It cornered us in this room where she looked over my injuries. Clarke figured out how to get out and then trap it in the same room. It worked and we were getting ready to stop for the night when we encountered the wolves.”

“Where you fought and eventually killed them,” she finished, squeezing my hand in comfort.

“ _Sha_. So, tell me, did you have your talk with _Reivon_ ,” I asked, wanting to think about something else for the moment.

She shifted and coughed a little, “I did. Her experience with our warriors clouds her ability to see anything beyond violence and savagery. That’s what she expects constantly from our people and doesn’t understand why I would willingly associate myself with that. I told her what it was like for me growing up on the Ark. What I almost did.” She chuckled humorlessly. “She wasn’t happy about that. But, anyway, she’s trying to understand and respect my choice. We’ll be able to work together without any problems.”

“That is good,” I said and yawned. I snuggled into her more deeply and she pulled me closer careful of my wounds.

I felt her lay her lips gently on my head and whisper, “Are you getting tired?”

“ _Sha_.”

“Then let me lay you down more comfortably so that you can sleep better.”

“I am comfortable,” I replied, closing my eyes.

She chuckled, “Lexa, I am not.”

“Not my problem.”

She chuckled again and started moving regardless of my protests. Soon, I was tucked more comfortably under the furs, but I whined when I felt her withdraw.

“Lexa, I’m only going back to my own cot,” she said, leaning down and kissing me chastely on my lips. “I want to get a few more hours of sleep before the messenger returns from their camp. He’s bringing back some things that will help us.”

I opened my eyes and peered up at her, “What things?”

“A radio since we’ll be here longer with Clarke’s injuries and hopefully a map of Mount Weather. A better one than what Clarke had.”

“Smart.”

She grinned, “I thought so. Now, sleep, Lexa. I’ll be here when you wake again.”

“Better,” I mumbled as I felt sleep dragging me down.

The last thing I heard was her husky chuckle and then nothing as I finally relinquished my hold on consciousness.


	34. Chapter 34

The moment Rook laid her head on the pillow sleep descended like a raging waterfall. Dragging her deep in mere seconds to leave her floating, weightless in a cocoon of warmth. She dreamt. The feeling of a heartbeat, slow and steady, reached out in her dream state. Then a second heartbeat joined the first. Beating in near synchronicity until moments later images began to flash.

White. The images start with the color white. Then splashes of gray mingle in with the white. The gray reaches up in thick lines or jut jaggedly from the white. Suddenly, the white is halved and a brilliant shade of azure fills the empty space. A shade that holds no comparison to the sapphire gems that reside in Clarke’s eyes. Even the forest green of Lexa’s eyes make an appearance in sharp, short spurts. Needle-like in their expression.

The second heartbeat picks up its pace. An adrenaline rush. Heavy pants echo out in a strange harmony to the beats of the two hearts. The first beat begins to race. Not in fear but excitement. The flashes coalesce into the image of speed. Racing. Chasing. It’s a hunt.

There’s wind now. Coursing through a feeling of thickness. A thickness that keeps its fingers from reaching the vulnerability that lies beneath. It’s cold, near freezing. It causes a burning ache that settles deep in the center, but it does not deter from the goal. The goal that lies ahead as sound reaches past the wind.

A roar of defiance. Angry and challenging. Howls rip through the air in answer. Echoing across the landscape. There are tracks in the ground. Sinking slightly and wide. Far between to show an estimate in size and speed. A scent wafts across. Damp. Pungent. Angry. Fearful. All brought in on the inhale and gathers on the tongue. It’s heady. It brings a level of excitement never before felt. 

There. Ahead lies the goal. Seen for the first time. It’s a monstrous beast. Heavy in meat and fat and dirty white fur. Spots of black above an opening maw of teeth letting out a mighty roar. A growl rumbles deep within as lips pull back in answer.

Closer now, its size looms above before the image veers until its back is revealed. The feeling of muscles burning reach out, cautioning but the adrenaline and excitement push through. The muscles bunch before the feeling of being momentarily airborne intrudes with a bark and a small howl of triumph.

Flesh tears from digging and biting. Roars of pain erupt from the beast as the body writhes beneath. Higher. Higher the climb. Rending a bloody trail until the neck of the beast is within sight. The feeling of teeth breaking through the soft pale skin that lies beneath. The strain of muscles and joints to bring both sides together. The scent of the beast covers everything else. The taste of copper causes an overproduction of wetness that oozes past teeth, soaking into the brittle outercoat of the beast and mixing with the red that now dyes the white.

So, intent on hearing for the tell-tale signs of cracking, it isn’t until the image begins a dizzying dance of white and blue to register that the beast is no longer beneath. Pain erupts and breath is gone in a painful yelp. Sinking hinders the view interspersed with dark dancing dots as the struggle begins to bring air back. To breathe beyond pain.

Breath is restored and a new struggle begins. Whimpers are choked down and turn to growls of determination. The fight isn’t over. Standing on something wobbly until it settles. The focus turns to the beast. Two dark blurs dash close to strike and then away before harm comes. The beast is covered in a crimson red. The white nearly gone. It moves slower. Weaker, perhaps. But no less fierce to battle.

Muscles bunch again and push off to speed back into the fray. A howl flowing like a raging river trying to keep up. Airborne and the weight causes the beast to falter on impact. Gleeful yips and barks sound like a call to arms. Renewed, the attack begins again. The climb is slick with red. Pink vulnerability and white sinew peak through the rivers of red. Teeth clamp once more, determination driving the muscles and joints harder, deeper, more forceful. 

The beast drops as a weight is added. A dark blur has latched underneath its head. The flow of copper increases and teeth encounter resistance. The final resistance. Pressure increases and the sound of cracking finally resounds through the air. The beast roars in pain, gurgling slightly from the red river that flows now from its new orifices. The beast staggers forward, dragging the dark blur beneath until it collapses on its side. Teeth finally meet as the beast’s side heaves once, twice, and then no more.

The hold is released and howls of triumph fill the air. The monstrous beast is no more. Victory is assured. The dark blurs move forward. Rubbing. Comforting. Teeth nip gently. Vision sharpens. Smiling teeth, pink tongue. Vision fills with verdant green and stormy gray.

Rook shoots up from the cot, her breathing coming in heavy pants as her heart races. Sweat drips down her frame, matting her hair. The sounds of triumphant howls still echo in her ears as the taste of copper lies heavy on her tongue. She gulps in air as if she was just rescued from drowning as she tries to gain some coherent thought and understanding of what she’d just experienced.

It takes her a long minute to register that someone is trying to get her attention. Their voice not reaching past the sounds of howling until reality begins to settle around her. The warm air of the hut making her shiver as she sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Her eyes focusing on the wall in front of her.

“Rook,” Nyko’s voice finally snaps through and she turned her head to look at him wild-eyed. He approached her slowly, hands out placating, “Rook? You’re safe, _yongon_. It’s okay.”

She nodded as she rubbed her face, grimacing at the feeling of sweat, “It was just a dream, Nyko. I’m okay.”

He sighed in relief, “You haven’t had one of those in a little while.”

“ _Sha_ , I know. It was…different,” she said slowly, still trying to wrap her head around it. “Things have become complicated. I fear this may just be the beginning.”

“What do you mean,” he asked as he came to sit beside her after she crossed her legs.

She placed her elbows on her knees and cradled her head in her hands. Her heart still slowing down as the adrenaline rush ebbed away, “I know you’ve heard about the wolves by now, Nyko. They were like the _Bounstoka_.” She looked up at him solemnly, “Lexa and Clarke are now like me. I’m sure you’ve noticed that their wounds are healing quickly.”

He nodded, “I have. _Abi_ is confused and demanding an explanation.”

She sighed, “One we cannot give her. Nyko, do you believe in Spirits? Beyond the Spirits of the Past Commanders.”

He nodded, “There are tales of Spirits who roam the ground, looking for the worthy to grant gifts. Powers beyond the natural. There is the tale of the _Wuskripa_. He steals the souls of the unwary and turns them into _Ripas_.”

“But we now know that it’s a drug created by the _Maunon_ ,” she interrupted.

He nodded, “ _Sha_ , but the tale lies to the south in Shallow Valley and into Broadleaf. Far from the _Maun-de_. There’s tales of a man who speaks with beasts. The Beastwalker. Wavetalkers. And so on.”

She nodded thoughtfully, “And there’s always a kernel of truth behind tales like that.” She sighed and looked at him deeply as he tried to make himself look as open and inviting as he could. Finally, she said, “The _Bounstoka_ didn’t just give me these gifts, Nyko. Somehow, in her death thralls, she shifted her spirit into me. I’ve started to make more wolf-like noises. Growls, whimpers, and such. But, when I went to search for them, I felt something more. Something gained control over me and was literally pushing me towards Lexa. Towards them. It was her and she was trying to get to the other wolves. My senses became more heightened, like that of a wolf. Sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste. The forest around me seemed to light up as if from within. Everything living glowed slightly. If I concentrate, I could probably hear what’s going on outside. It’s like our spirits are merging. Becoming one.”

He nodded sagely, “That is part of the tales that have been told. If the Spirit has chosen wisely then the souls become one. If the soul of the chosen is weak, the Spirit will take over and reign destruction. If the Spirit is too weak, the chosen will only gain some gifts.”

She shook her head in disbelief, “I find it so hard that I’m not freaking out about this, Nyko. That I’m accepting of this. Religion and faith was never a part of my upbringing. Our ancestors were people who believed in fact only. That was taught to each generation. If it couldn’t be explained, it didn’t exist. The Gods. The Spirits. They became myths. Stories to explain and calm the people because it was frightening. Then science came and there was solid proof of why things happen. Technology came and could recreate it. The need for something powerful like a God became less and less. What is happening to me, therefore, shouldn’t because it cannot be explained by science. But it happened and is continuing to happen which means that those beliefs that were passed down were wrong. And yet, I am just accepting it without further proof.”

“The proof is in you, Rook,” he said gently. “It takes a strong person to admit when they are wrong. It takes an even stronger person to accept it. It could be that the Spirit of the Bounstoka has opened your mind to become more accepting in order to ease the merging of you and she.”

She nodded, “That makes sense. The days that I spent unconscious would have been the perfect opportunity to where I wouldn’t have fought it. I guess.” She sighed heavily, “It’s strange that she waited until now to make her presence known, but maybe not with the other two showing up. Like I said, things have gotten more complicated.”

“May I ask what woke you up in such a state,” he asked carefully.

She gave him a wry grin and took the opportunity to stretch her arms overhead before she sagged back into her seat, “A hunt. I was dreaming of a hunt. In a place I have never been or seen outside of pictures. Snow covered every surface. The trees were barren and covered in snow and ice. The sky was such a brilliant shade of blue, it was breathtaking. I could feel the wind brushing past me and the cold air freeze my lungs. I was after some monstrous creature. I don’t even know what it resembled. I attacked it by jumping on its back and clawing my way up to its neck. I was tossed and landed hard. Then I saw these dark blurs darting in and out, weakening the thing. We finally killed it. The last thing I remember before I woke up was seeing green and gray. I think I was the Bounstoka and I was hunting with the other two wolves. And it wasn’t so much a dream, but rather a memory. One of her memories.”

“It sounds like it took place to the far north. In _Azgeda_ territory. There are tales of such hunts for dangerous creatures that reside in their tundra. It is a way to prove themselves. But you are saying that you were the wolf?”

“ _Sha_. It was such an adrenaline rush chasing after this thing,” she said a little excitedly. “Like tracking a panther. The danger that came with hunting it. I could feel her heart racing and the happiness and excitement. I guess it got my own heart racing. I woke up feeling like it was me that was doing everything. It felt so real, Nyko.”

“In a way, it was, Rook. It was real to her and therefore her sharing it with you, became real for you. It is an honor that has been given to you.”

She snorted, “I don’t know about that. I still feel unsure of why I was chosen. Lexa and Clarke make sense. They are strong and compassionate leaders. What we are will only enhance that. But what is my place in all of this? I’m not a leader. I’m a warrior that hasn’t seen true battle. There’s nothing about me that stands out and says I’m worthy.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, little wolf,” he scolds her gently. “You told me that while you were in that sky prison, you looked out for the weaker ones. Protected them when they were harmed. You got angry with yourself when you thought you failed to protect the village when that boy attacked us. Which is completely unfounded because no one blamed you for what happened. You sacrificed yourself in order to protect this alliance. You put yourself in harm’s way by going into the forest by yourself because of your need to find and protect the Commander. You may be very good with tek but you were born to protect. To protect the weak and the ones you care for. That is who you are. I believe that is what the Bounstoka saw when she chose you.”

Rook sat silently as she absorbed Nyko’s words. His conviction gave the words weight. They were not meant to placate but rather drive home the truth behind his statements. So, she thought and she weighed them against all that she was forced to believe against what she had done. The truth began to slip through the self-doubt and confidence built as the feeling of Right settled deep within her. 

She relaxed and sighed, “ _Mochof_ , Nyko. You and others have said this many times, but I think I’m finally starting to believe you. To believe in myself. It’s hard though. My parents’ voices still ring in my head with their hatred and they’re hard to ignore. For the longest time, I believed them. Then I came here and the voices eased but with Ava taken so suddenly, it all came back tenfold.” She sighed again, rubbing her face lightly and gave him a small smile, “Everyday I am trying and it gets better. Having you and the others helps.”

He pulled her into an awkward hug, squeezing tight, “We will always be here, Rook. And I will always listen. _Ai swega klin_.”

She hugged him back, “There is no depth of gratitude to adequately express how much that means to me, Nyko.”

“You need not say anything, little one,” he replied, letting her go. “Now, how about I go and get some food. It has been a long time since you ate, no?”

The mention of food brought a growl that emanated lower than usual and Rook blushed in embarrassment, “ _Sha_ , I would greatly appreciate that.”

He slapped his knees and stood up, “Then I shall go and gather it. I’ll also have a bath and clean clothes for you brought in. Wipe away the last remains of your sleep so that you will be better prepared to answer the questions that will surely arise.”

“ _Mochof_ , Nyko,” she said. “Has Clarke awoken at all?”

“She did. Briefly, but it was enough to get Abi to relent getting her own rest,” he answered, pausing by the door. “Her wounds are healing nicely. The Commander’s as well.”

“ _Os_.”

“I’ll be back shortly,” he said and went out the door.

She leaned back on her hands and stretched out her legs, sighing at the feeling of lightness that spread from her core. The talk had been needed and she didn’t feel as weighed down as she had been. She smiled as she remembered the feeling of the hunt in her dreams and it made her itch to head out on a hunt of her own. Maybe once Clarke had wakened more fully, she would head out and see if any of the wildlife would challenge her. With her new heightened senses, hunting took on a whole new feel and she couldn’t wait to try it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI, the short choppy sentences are purposeful. I wanted a way to show that there's a disconnect between Rook and what she's experiencing in the dream. That it's coming in spurts.
> 
> I also wanted to give an explanation as to why Lexa seemed to accept what she was told. That there's lore out there involving Spirits and that it's accepted.
> 
> And a hint into Rook's role and why she was chosen.


	35. Chapter 35

I sigh once the door closed before I get up and stretch more fully. I feel as the tension releases and feel more awake than when I had spoken with Nyko. Making my way over to Lexa, I glance over at Clarke and notice that color is returning and her breathing seems easier. It’s a relief to know that she had woken up earlier. It boded well to how soon she’d be up and running again. Sitting down in the chair that’s been set beside Lexa’s bed, I take her hand in mine and gently rub my thumb along the back. Smiling when I see a small smile on her lips.

I lose my smile as I think back to the conversation I had with her earlier. I had confessed my feelings for her and then we both ignored the fact that she hadn’t returned them. But she also didn’t reject me and from what I felt through our bond, it seemed like she returned them. I sighed and relinquished her hand. I began to undo my braids, my head feeling looser but heavier as the full weight my hair was freed. Running my fingers through my hair, working the tangles out, I continued to think about things.

If the dream I had and the dreams that revealed my attack were anything to go by, I would continue to dream from the _Bounstoka’s_ point of view. Much like my memory returning, I wanted to guess that by the time the dreams ended, we would be one. What happens after that, I couldn’t even fathom to guess. I was sure that if Nyko knew someone who might help guide me, he would have told me. I rolled my neck to ease some tension that was beginning to build up as I continued to think and worry. Maybe Lexa would know of someone in one of the clans. Someone must have made a study of the Spirits and their incarnations. Curiosity would have demanded it.

Before I could further lose myself in my thoughts, a knock sounded. I groaned and got up to answer the door. Opening it, I found the messenger I had sent to Camp Jaha.

He bowed his head in respect, “ _Pakripa_ , I have the things you requested from Reivon kom Skaikru.”

“ _Mochof, Jef_ ,” I replied. “Any news?”

He nodded and handed me a small satchel and a long tube, “Indra and the one they call Kane are glad to hear of their return. Some of _Skaikru_ are beginning to train with our warriors after they saw the one called _Oktevia_ training with them. It seems to be the young that are most willing.”

I nodded, “That is heartening to hear. _Mochof_ for bringing these and the news. You’ve more than earned your rest.”

He bowed his head but hesitated before he asked, “ _Heda_?”

“Is resting well,” I replied dismissively.

He nodded and bowing his head one more time took his leave. I closed the door behind me and laid the satchel on a chair before I examined the tube. 

“Was someone at the door,” a voice croaked and I startled slightly.

I looked up and saw Clarke peering over at me. Her eyes still held notes of pain and I placed the tube on the table to prepare her a cup of the tea to ease her pain.

“ _Sha_ ,” I replied once I set the tea to steep and went over to her. “A messenger. He just returned from Camp Jaha with some stuff I asked for.”

She nodded and groaned in pain as she shifted, “God, I feel like shit.”

I chuckled, “Well, _Prisa_ , if you didn’t go around trying to show how much of a badass you are, you wouldn’t feel like shit. I know I set the standards high, but did you really have to add a _pauna_ to the mix? I’m going to have to look for a dragon to regain my reputation.”

She chuckled but moaned again when it caused her chest to hurt, “Don’t make me laugh, Rook. It hurts too much. And I’m sorry if your reputation took a blow, wasn’t what I was aiming for.”

“Oh,” I said with a teasing smirk. “You were trying to impress the Commander with your prowess. I see how it is. She is quite beautiful.”

She opened and closed her mouth a few times in shock before she glared at me, “I was not trying to do anything except get away. From Quint. From that gorilla.”

“Uh-huh. Sure,” I continued to tease as I got the tea. “Keep telling yourself that. I saw the way you looked at her when you first met her. Your mouth literally dropped. Not to mention all the times I caught you looking at her when you thought no one else was looking.”

“Shut up, Rook,” she growled out and her eyes widened in surprise. “What the fuck?!”

I sighed, “Here, let me help you up so that you can drink the tea.”

“Fine,” she relented after a moment.

The moment our skin touched, my nerve endings were on fire and I swallowed down a gasp at the feeling. Ignoring the warmth that spread the longer we touched and the similar gasp that escaped Clarke, I helped her up and moved the pillows so that she was more or less sitting up. I helped her drink the tea but before I could move away, she grabbed my wrist making me look at her and that same feeling I had when I stared into Lexa’s eyes happened once again. It felt like something clicked and solidified. Warmth spread from where she was holding onto me and I felt her grip tighten as her blue eyes darkened. My eyes flicked down as her mouth parted slightly before I cleared my throat and looked away.

“Rook,” she called out, her voice sounding small and maybe a little frightened.

I glanced at Lexa and noted that she was still asleep before I returned to look at her, “Yes?”

“What was that,” she said and seemed to realize that she was still holding onto me and let me go.

I cleared my throat again before I set the cup down and sat on a chair nearby. I frowned as I thought about how I might explain it in a way that she would come to understand and accept what was happening, but it was difficult. 

“Rook,” she prodded. “Talk to me, please? That feeling, that growl…what’s going on?”

“Argh,” I growled out. “It’s not fair that I’m the one getting stuck explaining this. Can’t you wait until Lexa’s awake?”

She shook her head, crossed her arms and leveled a glare at me, “No. You know something and I want to know what it is. So, talk.”

“Goddammit. Fine. The wolves you fought were like the one I fought. Except that they’re special. Actual incarnations of Spirits. Spirits that have chosen us for some goddamn reason and passed their Spirits into us. Our spirits are merging with theirs and it’s given us gifts. Strength, healing, telepathy, heightened senses, and gods know what else. We are the wolf and the wolf is now us, so that’s why we can make animalistic noises like growls and purrs. The healing is why you’re awake and not unconscious still. Why your wounds will heal in about a week or so. Broken bones take longer,” I blurted out.

She looked at me and then she burst out laughing which turned to moaning as she clutched her chest. I growled in annoyance and to prove my point, I got up and ripped the bandages off her left forearm.

“Look,” I growled low. “The wound is closing quicker. We’ll be able to take the stitches out in a couple of days. How many days has it been since you saw me stitching up my side?”

Clarke looked down at her arm, running her finger lightly over the stitching before she looked up at me in confusion, “Five, six days, maybe.”

I straighten and show her my side, “How many days does it normally take before stitching is removed?”

“I…I don’t…I don’t know,” she replied a little unsure.

“Come on,” I persisted. “You’ve been training in Medical since you could practically walk. How many days?”

I watched as Clarke scrunched her brow in thought and swallowed a couple of times, “Based on the location, seven to ten days.”

“Right,” I said and pulled the chair closer before I sat. “Based on that, I should still have the stitches but the skin is completely healed and a nice pink color. No tenderness.”

“But…but you said that it was because of the medicine Nyko put on it. The salve,” she looked wildly at me.

“I lied,” I told her plainly. “I lied because I knew that you would react this way. That you wouldn’t believe what the actual cause is.”

“This is ridiculous,” she said adamantly and tried to get up but the pain from her wounds prevented her. “It’s impossible. Spirits don’t exist. People can’t heal quickly or…or anything that you claim to do or have.”

I could feel her agitation grow as if it were a part of me. We’d created a bond just by our touch. So, with that knowledge, I grabbed her head between my hands and stared into her eyes.

“It’s not impossible, Clarke,” I thought to her. “Not only can we do these things but we now share a bond. I can feel your emotions and hear your thoughts. Same with Lexa. Just as you can with us.”

Her eyes widened in shock and horror, “No, no, no, no. Why could I hear you? You learned to throw your voice. That’s the only reasonable explanation.”

I dropped my head in despair and ran a hand through my hair as I thought furiously. If I couldn’t get her to begin to accept the truth, I feared that what Nyko told me about the Spirit overtaking the body would happen to Clarke. God knows what would happen if it did.

“What do you mean by the Spirit overtaking my body? What happens? What did Nyko tell you,” she asked, her voice tinged with fear.

“You heard that,” I asked, looking at her sharply.

“I wasn’t, I wasn’t meant to?”

I shook my head, “No. That was me thinking in my head. To answer your question, if a person’s soul is weaker than the Spirit’s, the Spirit will eventually take over. According to lore, if that happens, there’s destruction. What kind, I don’t know. That’s all that he’s told me.”

“I heard your thoughts just like I heard you speak, but it was all in my head,” she said, still trying to grasp what I’m telling her.

“Yes. You’ll be able to hear Lexa’s once a bond is made between you two.”

“Bond?”

“A connection like a bridge except it’s between two people. Maybe more. I’m connected to you, but I’m also connected to Lexa.”

“And you’re able to hear our thoughts and feel our emotions,” she asked and I nodded. “Do you know how insane this sounds? What you’re describing only happens in works of fiction. It doesn’t exist in the real world.”

“You think that I don’t know that,” I huffed at her angrily. “But you are forgetting things, Clarke. Things like this _have_ happened in the real world. Before the bombs fell there were people who could sit on a bed of nails and not pierce their skin. There have been documented cases of people exhibiting psychic abilities, including telepathy. There were many cultures all over the world that believed that Spirits inhabited every living thing. It’s why when they hunted and killed animals, they sent the spirit of the animal with a prayer as a sign of respect and to make sure that they weren’t haunted by the spirit. Just because it was never proven doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Jules Verne wrote about a deep-sea submarine before they ever existed. He wrote about traveling to the moon a hundred years before it happened. For God’s sakes, we figured out how to live in space. Impossible and insane ideas that eventually became reality.”

“All true, but—”

“No,” I nearly shouted and stood up abruptly. “There is no but. I can cleave a target in half from over 150 feet with a fucking war axe. I have been cut so many times and each of those cuts were healed in a matter of hours. Hours! I had a fractured hip and knee that’s completely healed. A shattered shoulder that was healed in a little over a month. I knew exactly where to find you because I was being pulled by my bond with Lexa. I fucking dreamt of a place that I have never been and nothing in the books that I have read compares to it.”

“Dreams,” she asked, looking at me trepidatiously.

“Dream. Singular,” I told her as I watched her more closely. She was looking around slightly more nervous and it made me wonder, so I sat down and said, “It wasn’t really a dream, but rather a memory. From the _Bounstoka_. She was on a hunt with her mates. They took down this massive animal. I felt everything. From the cold wind to the wet snow. Smelt the pungent scent of the animal. Tasted the blood as she bit down on its neck. Everything. The last thing I saw before I woke were the green and grey eyes of her mates. You dreamt something, didn’t you?”

“I…I don’t…maybe,” she reluctantly told me.

I sighed heavily and leaned back in the chair, “If you’re not ready to talk about it, that’s fine. This is a lot to take in and I know it’s going to take time.” I leaned forward and laid a hand on her covered knee. “ _Prisa_ , Clarke, you asked what was going on and I answered. I’m not one to lie or make up something. I’m still trying to wrap my head around this, just as you are because finding out that I have a Spirit taking up residence in me is so very, very strange. And scary. I may have had months to get used to my strength and healing, but my bond with Lexa is still new. But, no matter what, we’re in this together. The three of us. You’re not alone in this.”

She laid a hand on mine, the warmth spreading, and gave it a gentle squeeze, “I need time, Rook. I wake up and you tell me the weirdest shit has happened to me, how am I supposed to react? You know how we were raised. I was a doctor in training. The miracles of Science. Not faith. Not in the unseeing.”

“I understand. Trust me, I do. The only thing you can’t do is talk about this to your mother. Or really anyone else. Nyko is safe, but no one besides the four of us know. It needs to stay that way. For our own safety. Do you understand, _prisa_?”

She nodded and then looked at me curiously, “What is it that you keep calling me?”

I blushed slightly, “Princess. You remind me of Merida from that old animated film, _Brave_ , but without the wild red hair.”

She chuckled, “It’s better than Aurora from _Sleeping Beauty_ or Rapunzel or Cinderella.”

“Only because you don’t need a Prince Charming to save you. You’ve got a Commander and Warrior to help or step in if you need saving from yourself.”

“You’re one to talk, Rook. You’re constantly putting yourself in harm’s way.”

“Only to protect those I care for,” I told her softly. She blushed at the implication and I squeezed her knee in comfort, “Let me rewrap your arm and then you should get some more rest. Your body still needs to heal.”

“Okay,” she said quietly and watched as I gathered the supplies I needed. “Who stitched this?”

“I did,” I said as I began cleaning her arm. “Once the weight of the wolf was off you, you started bleeding again. I didn’t want to leave you with a huge cauterized burn and possibly damage the nerves there.”

“You did a really good job. Did Nyko teach you?”

“He did. He taught me about the plants he uses for medicine and the language while I was recovering. Since I couldn’t move much, I became an apt student.”

She chuckled, “How often did your mind wonder?”

“Not often. I was determined to give Indra a reason to keep me alive. There’s not many healers around. Most of them are in the larger villages and Polis. Nyko travels because of it. So, training me meant that he didn’t have to worry as much about leaving the village without a healer.”

“Do you think that’s something that could be useful,” she asked. “I mean, trading medical information after the war.”

I nodded as I began to wrap a clean bandage on her arm, “Yeah. It wouldn’t hurt. It might actually be a huge selling point to get the clans to accept _Skaikru_. You’ve got knowledge that was lost and we have knowledge of the plants.”

“Good to know,” she said and smiled warmly at me.

I admit, it made my heart flutter seeing her smiling at me and I returned it, “Get some rest.”

“Thank you, Rook.”

I nodded and helped her settle back down. Once she was asleep, I turned my attention back to the tube and set about studying the plans until Nyko returned with food and a tub. I watched silently as a few people brought buckets of heated water in. When they were gone, I ate and then washed. It was a long night, but I was determined to contribute even more to the war with the Mountain. I just hoped that my ideas would pan out and not make things worse. I also hoped that the Spirit of the wolf that was in Clarke took the opportunity and opened her up into accepting what was happening to her. Only time would tell and we were running out of it.


	36. Chapter 36

Soft morning light filtering through the curtained window woke Lexa from a dream-filled slumber. Remembering her injuries, she sighed and stretched slowly, feeling no pain in her right shoulder but still unable to raise her left arm much due to the bandage wrapped securely to hinder movement. She felt the pull and slightly painful twinge of her ribs as well as, the painful stretch of her sutured stomach. Her legs felt just a slight ache but that was mostly due to being immobile for over twenty-four hours. 

Raising her right hand to rub the remnants of sleep from her face, she grimaced as she encountered hair tangled and coming loose from her braids. Sitting up slowly, pushing up with only one arm, she took in her surroundings. Her eyes searching automatically for Rook and Clarke. 

She smiled seeing Rook asleep at the table, head cushioned by her arms. Her loose hair flowing down and around her shoulders and back, the morning sunlight giving her a burnished halo. Her face was turned towards Lexa and her smile widened seeing how relaxed and at peace she looked in sleep. Rook had not had an easy few weeks since the passing of Ava, making her nights restless and nightmare filled. Since they had begun sharing a bed, Lexa had often found herself providing comfort as much as receiving it. Not that she minded because it meant that she was no longer alone in bearing her own demons.

She glanced over to Clarke and was glad to see that she appeared to be sleeping much more easily now that the pain of her own injuries was lessening. Her face was still etched with pain and worry, though. Lexa wondered what could be the cause of the young blonde’s worry that it would echo in sleep and a small part wondered what she could do to ease it. After opening herself up to Rook, she could now admit to herself that Clarke did far more than intrigue her. From the moment she laid eyes on the blonde, she had felt something stirring deep within her. As if Clarke’s very essence called to her own. Staring into the depth of her oceanic blue eyes, she had felt as if she were drowning, pulling her deeper. 

She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly as she continued to think about the blonde. Clarke had been the first person in a long while who openly questioned her. Everyone else was either too respectful of her position or fearful. She had also never met someone so defiant and stubborn. It made their talks something Lexa looked forward to, just to see what Clarke would say. It was invigorating. It was verbal sparring at its finest and she found it exhilarating.

The sound of a foot shuffling brought her out of her reverie and her attention back to Rook. She watched with a soft smile as Rook shifted in her seat, still asleep. She needed to wake the younger woman up before she ended up hurting herself from sleeping in that position for too long. She wondered how long the girl had been sleeping like that and why.

So, she threw the furs off her legs and stood slowly, ever mindful that her torso wouldn’t like the movement. Planting her feet firmly, she waited until the slight dizziness that the act had created went away before she moved forward. 

She crouched down until she was level with Rook’s head, reached out and slowly started to run her hands through her hair, eliciting a smile and a gentle rumble from the girl. She couldn’t help a smile that spread softly across her lips hearing the sound and knew it was because Rook liked the sensation. Something she’d have to remember in the future.

“Rook,” she called out just loud enough to not disturb the still sleeping Clarke. “Rook, _niron_ , you need to wake up.”

She watched as the girl rubbed her face against her arms and seemed to burrow her head deeper within them making Lexa chuckle softly.

“Rook,” she tried again. “ _Beja_. It’s time to wake.”

Her sleep thickened voice came out muffled from her arms, “Why?”

“It’s daylight, _niron_. Morning. There are things to do, so you must wake.”

“Don’ wanna,” she slurred in _Gonasleng_.

She stilled her hand and that made Rook whine in protest, so she started again making her purr once more.

“Rook, did you know you’re purring,” she chuckled.

“So?”

“We need to discuss these changes, Rook.”

Rook let out a heavy sigh like it was the hardest thing she’d ever done and turned her head until her grey eyes peered over at Lexa. Lexa watched as a smile graced her face, lighting her eyes up even more.

“You’re up.”

She nodded, “I am and I would like it if you joined me.”

“If you insist,” she said, sitting up and groaning. I let my hand slide down her back until it rested on the small of her back. “Sleeping in a chair like this is not comfortable.”

I nodded in agreement, “I never did thank you for finding me, us. Someone told me that it is what one does when someone saves you.”

She smiled, “You don’t have to thank me, Lexa. Our bond and the _Bounstoka_ wouldn’t have allowed me to wait until morning. I needed and wanted to find you.”

“Still,” I said as I got up and pushed her until she was facing me. I straddled her lap as we wrapped our arms around one another. I leaned down and kissed her. Gently at first, but it soon turned deeper.

I shivered in delight as her fingers trailed a path of fire up and down my back making me moan softly into her mouth. I felt some slight tugging on my back as we continued to kiss, her hands trailing along the bandage that surrounded my torso. She was slowly removing it and the last of my air was driven from my chest when her hand touched my now bare back as if she were branding me.

I broke away, gasping for air, and looked down into her darkened gray eyes. The moment we had our breaths back, she was pulling me back into another kiss. It was more passionate and yet she kept her touch gentle, her hands gliding across my body as if to reassure herself that I was here. 

She broke the kiss this time. I closed my eyes as her lips traveled down my jaw and I turned my head to give her more access. Her lips continued until they reached my pulse point and I couldn’t stop the whine that passed my lips when I felt her nip and then suck lightly there. She burrowed deeper into my neck, laying one last gentle kiss. I felt her hot breath tickle my skin.

She growled slightly, “I do not like that the medicine hides your scent, _ai hodnes_.”

The timber of her voice vibrating against my skin sent shivers across my body and I moaned slightly. She began kissing my skin again in response until she captured my lips once more. She sighed against my lips and pulled back to look at me, reaching up and gently cupping my face. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if we were in bed and without the hinderance of clothing.

Her soft chuckle made me snap my eyes open and look down at her, “What?”

“Your thoughts, Lexa. As much as I agree with the sentiment, you are still healing,” she replied, giving me a mischievous smirk.

I pouted but relented, “You are right.”

“I must admit that I like the way you say thank you. Will you let me look at your wounds?”

“I like how you say you’re welcome,” I replied, smirking, and stood up. “And you may.”

She followed me out of the chair and pushed me down in it. Stepping behind me, she began gently unwrapping the bandage around my shoulder. Her fingers ghosted over my shoulder as she inspected the bite mark.

“The bite is nearly healed,” she said. “I want to check your range of motion. Is that okay?”

“ _Sha_.”

“I want you to lift your arm straight up, like you were going to point it at someone. Stop the moment you feel pain. And not where you can’t tolerate it,” she told me as she laid a hand on either side of my shoulder.

I nodded and began raising it forward. I got about halfway before I felt pain begin and stopped.

“That’s not too bad,” she mumbled to herself and then to me, “Okay, lay it back down and then raise it to your left.”

I did, but I didn’t get as far as I liked and I felt a slight crunch in my shoulder.

“I felt that,” she said. “Alright, now like you were going to touch your right shoulder but reach as far behind it as you can.”

I was able to raise it until the heel of my palm touched my right shoulder but felt the crunch again.

“Okay. Last time, I want you to reach behind you like you’ve got an itch on your back and see if you can’t touch the base of your skull.”

I tried, but I couldn’t do no more than bend my arm at the elbow and reach behind me before pain started. I sighed as I let my arm relax and she moved around to sit in front of me.

“Well,” I asked as I took in her thoughtful gaze.

“It doesn’t need to be bound again, but you should wear a sling for a few days, maybe more,” she told me. “That crunch seemed to come from the joint itself and not the shoulder blade. You probably tore some cartilage. Rest and then physical therapy to get full range of motion back.”

I grimaced, “I will do it, but I do not like that I will not be able to move my arm.”

“At least it’s not your dominant side,” she said. “I was more worried about your shoulder blade. I had to press down hard to pop the wolf’s jaw. The teeth would’ve further embedded itself and extended any cracks in the bone, but I didn’t feel any loose movement that would’ve let me know that there are bone fragments or complete breaks. I was also feeling the muscles. As much as you tried to relax when I did it, they were still slightly tense which could have caused tears in the muscles.”

“You learned well from Nyko.”

She blushed, “Well, when your own body is used as the teaching method, things stick. Anyway, time to look at your stomach. Best place is to get back on the bed.”

I smirked at her, “You just want to get me in bed.”

She chuckled, “Yes, that’s it exactly. _Beja_.”

I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss before I got up and moved back to the cot I’d been using. She got up and went to the fireplace. I listened as she poured something and then she was coming back over with a bowl and cloth. She set it on the table and then pulled the chairs closer before setting the bowl in one and sitting in the other.

I closed my eyes as she gently cleaned the area, goosebumps skittered across my skin as the air cooled the moisture. She didn’t just clean my stomach, but she also cleaned around my shoulders and would’ve probably done more, but her touch was making my heart pick up and my breathing increase, so she stopped.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

I opened my eyes and looked at her, “Don’t be.”

She nodded and leaned closer to look at the claw marks now adorning me. Her fingers lightly tracing them but their touch still sent small slivers of pain.

“Still hurts if you touch them, Rook,” I told her.

She nodded, “No signs of infection. Just tenderness, I think. They’re closing up nicely and the stitches could be ready to come out in a couple of days.” She looked up at me and gave me a smirk, “I can’t decide if the claw marks detract from your abs or enhances them. I might have to get a second opinion.”

I chuckled lightly, “I’m not sure that you would appreciate someone else seeing me like this.”

She shrugged and glanced over at Clarke, “Only if it’s the right person would I be okay with it.”

“You felt something with her?”

She nodded a little absently, “ _Sha_. We had a talk last night and when I helped her sit up, I felt the same thing as when we touched. I felt complete and created a bond with her. I’m as connected to her as I am to you.”

“Do you…do you think it will be the same between her and I,” I asked a little uncertainly.

She smiled down at me, “I do.”

“Will she accept it, though?”

She sighed and frowned slightly, “She’s having a harder time accepting it. If she doesn’t, I’m not sure what will happen. If she doesn’t, it will depend on who’s soul is stronger.”

“We will help her.”

She nodded, “Sha, we will. Let me put some more salve and rebandage this.”

“ _Mochof_ , and maybe afterwards, you can get us something to eat,” I asked, hopefully.

She chuckled as she got up, “ _Sha_ , I will get us something to eat. I’m sorry that I haven’t gotten anything before now.”

“You apologize too much, Rook,” I admonished her. “I have been asleep most of this time.”

“Still,” she said returning with the salve and clean bandages. “I should be taking better care of you.”

“Rook, it’s not your job to take care of me. What you are doing is more than anyone here could expect.”

“It was my job to protect you, Lexa…”

“And I sent you away. This is no fault but my own. Though, I’m not sure how I could have prevented any of this.”

“The only way that could’ve happened is if you didn’t go after Clarke and Quint. Which is something you couldn’t have not done. You care for Clarke, just as I do.”

“You are right. I do care for her. I couldn’t have admitted that if it wasn’t for you, Rook.”

She helped me sit up so that she could wrap the bandage around me and replied, “I don’t think I could’ve admitted any of my feelings if it wasn’t for Ava. Then you came along and I didn’t have time to shut my feelings away. I don’t regret any of this, Lexa. I know that with our positions I can be no more than your lover and I’m okay with that. I don’t expect anything more from you because I know that you can’t give it.”

“Oh, Rook,” I said, feeling my love for her build. I reached up and pulled her closer to me, “Those feelings that you confessed to me, I have them too. _Ai hod yu in_.”

She kissed me and whispered against my lips, “ _Ai hod yu in seintaim, Leksa_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder. Even though Clarke is in the same room as them, they are speaking Trig. I try to only use italics when it's a mixture of Coalition and _Skaikru_.
> 
> And for any critics who want only Clexa, this is the way the story unfolded. Doesn't mean that I'm being dishonest in my tags. So, if you're going to complain about this, don't. 
> 
> This story isn't done and I'm not sure how it'll end with relationships.
> 
> Okay, I've said my piece. For those that are reading this story because you're enjoying it, thank you and I hoped you enjoyed this chapter.


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